Cain was tilling his fields when he first saw Him – a handsome man, leaning against an apple tree at the edge of the field, watching him. He was a stranger… impossible. Cain reasoned it was one of the Lord's angels.
Cain lay down his tools and approached, realizing the man (if so He was) was naked, unlike Cain and his family – He wore no furs or leaves. He seemed amazing – Cain itched to know Him.
The man met him halfway, and, before Cain could say anything, the man reached out and touched Cain's chest. "You have a tightness in you. An emptiness in your chest. You suffer."
Cain's breathing grew labored; how did this man-creature know that? He nodded, and heat gently seeped in from the man's hand, easing a little of the pain. "How do You-?"
"Shhh, I know. I know why you hurt this way. Do you?" the man asked. The man's dark eyes flickered like the fire that kept Cain's family warm at nights. He seemed sympathetic; Cain trusted Him.
"No. Is this hurt natural? Do my mother, my father and my brother feel like this? Why do I hurt?" Cain asked desperately, clasping the hand at his chest.
The man shook His head. "It is not natural. Your family does not share your pain… but I do. You hurt because God does not love you so. He prefers Abel to you."
Cain choked and hung his head. A tear slipped his eye… He'd thought… he'd suspected… but he'd always made excuses. "He prefers Abel? Why?"
The man shrugged. "Ours is an arbitrary God. He prefers Abel merely because He has given Abel the task of tending the animals, and he prefers a sacrifice of blood to one of wheat."
"Then why did He make me till the land? I was born first; I should have the favor!" Cain asked, looking back at the man fiercely.
The man raised His free hand to Cain's face, cupping it gently. "And I the first creation, yet see how I am fallen. He is an arbitrary God, child."
"What can I do to earn His love?"
"Talk to your brother – perhaps he will trade sacrifices with you," the man offered.
His hand left Cain's cheek as Cain nodded slowly. "Thank You… Who are You? And what?" Cain asked, looking deep into the man's strange eyes.
The man smiled sadly. "I am Lucifer of the Morning Star. I am the forsaken half of God Himself."
"A part of God?" Cain asked in disbelief. Lucifer nodded, and Cain threw himself into Lucifer's arms, his own going around the Morning Star's shoulders. "It cannot be! But I feel Him in You!" Cain exclaimed.
Lucifer held Cain. "It can, and it is, Cain of the fields. I am the half that prefers you to Abel. I am the half who asks for no sacrifice."
Cain wept. "You love me then?" Cain asked, desiring Lucifer more than anything before in his life.
"Words can't describe," Lucifer replied. He pulled Cain's sad face to His and kissed the human softly. Cain responded, awkward and desperate, yet driven.
When Lucifer broke away, Cain gasped and shuddered, leaning against Him. Lucifer ran His fingers through Cain's hair and it was left clean and smooth and shining when He finished. Cain buried his face in Lucifer's muscular chest, and did not see the way Lucifer smirked when he stroked him.
Lucifer visited Cain each day as he worked the fields, and He aided Cain. They talked a great deal, and Cain grew to live for those times. Lucifer was always interested in what he had to say, laughed when He was supposed to, sympathized when He was supposed to, everything. All Lucifer asked was that Cain not tell his family about Lucifer. Cain was puzzled, but consented easily, happy to keep Lucifer his secret.
With Lucifer's help, Cain usually finished early, and the remainder of his time they spent continuing their talk, and Lucifer amused Cain with tricks, like conjuring fruits and fire.
As dusk drew near one afternoon, Lucifer lazed against His tree, eating an apple, and Cain sat at His side. They were quiet, watching the sunset, when Lucifer sighed and looked away.
"He is a wonderful artist," Lucifer commented.
Cain turned, surprised at stillness broken. "Tell me," he asked softly.
Lucifer laughed hollowly. "Human, you would not understand. I am He, and He has forsaken Me… that pain…"
Cain took Lucifer's free hand, which lay at His side, between them. "Please?"
"You would not understand! To be trapped in a destiny you see but cannot change! To be powerful, yet helpless against fate!" Lucifer ranted.
"Please, Lucifer! You know my pain – is it so different?" Cain pleaded, now taking Lucifer's hand in both of his.
Lucifer considered this. Finally, He offered Cain His apple. Cain recognized the gesture – Lucifer always offered an apple before He did certain favors. Cain did not understand the contract the apple represented… He took the fruit, and Lucifer waited till Cain had eaten a bite to speak.
"He is beyond comprehension – even Mine," Lucifer started. "He is always in My thoughts… There is nothing I wouldn't give to sit at His side again. His love nourished Me, and without it… You see Me as whole, and beautiful, but it is a lie. I am rent and ugly without Him at My side."
Cain squeezed Lucifer's hand gently. "Am I the same? God has always preferred Abel…"
Lucifer grinned. "No. Your suffering paints you beautiful in My eyes." With His free hand, Lucifer guided the apple Cain had taken to Cain's mouth. Cain partook obediently.
As Cain chewed, Lucifer lowered the fruit and pressed His lips to Cain's again. Cain forgot his mouthful and pressed back instinctively.
Lucifer pushed His tongue into Cain's mouth, diving in expertly and retrieving the half-chewed apple. He guided Cain's tongue into His own mouth as He swallowed the fruit – Cain shuddered, fumbling about ignorantly, his arms circling around Lucifer. Lucifer tugged Cain till the human was settled comfortably in His lap.
Finally, Cain pulled away, suffocating and body slicked with sweat from heat, his shameful thing stiff and feeling strange but wonderful. "What is that?" he breathed, "That You do now, and did when we first met?" he begged, pressing awkwardly against Lucifer with half-developed instincts.
Lucifer laid a soft kiss on Cain's broad forehead. "A kiss. It is My special gift to you."
"Why do I feel this way?" Cain groaned, a hand descending to his loincloth.
Lucifer batted it away. "You have desire in you," Lucifer answered, pushing away the furs that covered Cain. He would make this human unholy and irksome in God's sight… the human would make it worse.
Cain groaned again as the cloths fell away and his flesh pressed against Lucifer's. Yes, he had desire, desire for his secret confidante, but desire to what? His body did alien things under Lucifer's hot, heavy hands.
Lucifer rolled them over, straddling Cain and kissing him once more. Cain writhed, his hands searching Lucifer's familiar body; for what, he didn't know.
"Sh… this will hurt some, but I will make it good for you. You trust me, Cain of the fields?"
Cain nodded. "I will always," he stammered, a little worried at the thought of pain, but sure Lucifer would take care of him.
Lucifer smiled, leaning down again and adjusting to better lie atop of Cain as He kissed him. Lucifer seduced the young, innocent farm boy, working for Cain's pleasure and damnation. The poor boy did not even know he was being tempted and taken advantage of, only knowing bliss when Lucifer allowed him release, his young new body unable to last like Lucifer's.
After Cain had released, Lucifer finished himself off roughly, knowing the exhausted, naïve boy would not think to do so or even be able to.
When He finished, Lucifer lay at Cain's side, tugging the human to Him; Cain curled up carefully against Him, pressing his first kiss to Lucifer's lips. He was bleeding and very sore, but right now, that didn't matter. All he felt was Lucifer warm around him and the after glow.
For the first time, Cain did not go back to his family to sleep. He stayed in the field, eating apples from Lucifer's hand. For the first time, he slept happily.
He awoke to find Lucifer watching the sunrise with a pained expression.
He reached up, wincing slightly at the stiffness and ignoring it, and stroked Lucifer's cheek. Lucifer's hand, on Cain's side, stroked once in recognition of Cain's new, wakened state.
"What did we do last night?" Cain asked softly.
Lucifer began combing Cain's hair with His other hand gently, but His eyes remained focused on the sunrise. "Love… or a part of it…"
"Oh… Does God love my brother that way?" Cain asked, fearing the answer.
Lucifer snickered. "God no longer loves anyone that way." Cain breathed a sigh of relief, then Lucifer continued. "But Abel is His preferred."
"For blood?" Cain murmured. Lucifer nodded. Cain was silent a moment. "Abel will give me blood for God, in two suns when the moon is full and it is time to make a new sacrifice… Then God will love me too," Cain reasoned.
Lucifer nodded, smiling inside. "Abel will give you blood."
Cain gave Lucifer a gentle kiss on His cheek. "Thank You."
Lucifer shook His head. "Do not thank Me."
Cain rested his head against Lucifer. "No… If I had not met You, I would still be suffering with no knowledge of why. Now, I can change that. Then God will love me… and maybe then, I can get Him to love You again."
Lucifer jolted, pushed Cain away and stood, standing off from Cain. "Do not say that. Do not!"
Cain was startled – Lucifer had never acted this way before, like He was angry and upset. Cain stood, joining Lucifer cautiously, putting his arms around Lucifer's shoulders. "I'm sorry… Why though? You are His first – why are You fallen?"
Lucifer pushed Cain away, glaring at him. Cain quaked in Lucifer's anger, backing away.
"Why am I fallen? For your father, and you, and all your kind, I am fallen! My God has forsaken me for you and yours! Do not ask such things: I despise it! I despise you! So go, get Abel's blood, and bask in God's love!"
Cain's eyes watered. "You… You despise me?"
Lucifer was silent seething a moment before answering. "You complain that God does not love you. And yet, He loves you infinitely more than any perfect angel in Heaven, any of Mine down in Hell. He loves you more than He does Me! He prefers you and yours to Me, and makes Me suffer for you. For that, I despise you and your entire race!" With that, Lucifer vanished, too angry to stay, disappearing in a plume of sulphurous smoke.
Cain fell to his knees and sobbed. It was not till late in the day that Abel found him there. "My brother, what ails you?" Cain struggled to compose himself.
"Many things, brother… One… One, God loves you more than me," Cain said slowly. After all, he could not speak of the pain Lucifer had caused him: he could not speak of Lucifer.
Abel was stunned. "That's ridiculous!"
"He prefers your offering! He prefers you!" Cain bellowed miserably, realizing suddenly his nakedness and reaching for his furs.
"Please… when it is time to make our offerings in two suns, please let me trade with you," Cain requested shyly.
Abel was still taken aback. "No, our offerings must come of our own labors. I can no more offer your crops or let you offer my beasts than I could grow wings, or you a tail," Abel reasoned logically.
"Abel, please! God prefers blood to wheat. He likes not my offering, and likes not me! Please, just this once!" Cain beseeched.
"No, we cannot," said Abel, stubborn and simple as his animals.
"Abel, I must have a blood offering!"
"Not of my flock!" Abel growled impatiently. He and his family had been worried sick for Cain, and here Cain was, acting like a child. Of course God did not love Abel more.
"You don't understand!" Cain cried out, swinging wildly, angrily, and slamming his fist into Abel's nose before Abel even realized the danger. Abel's nose smashed in, bone splintered up into his brain, and he fell heavily to the ground, still and silent. Cain looked at him in shock. "Abel…? Abel!" he cried, falling to his knees once more, now at his brother's side. "Oh no… what… what have I done?" Cain stammered, shaking Abel's shoulders, wishing he would wake – nothing. Blood drained in spurts from broken vessels in Abel's nose, once strong and proud, now smashed out of any recognition. "Please," he begged Abel again, hopelessly. Abel had always been so stubborn…
Cain didn't know what to do, but he was terrified of anyone finding out. So he turned to the only person he could think of – his secret. "Lucifer! Lucifer, please, help me!" he shouted, hoping somehow the Morning Star would hear him. Nothing. He sobbed. "Please, Lucifer," he whispered.
It was still and silent, but for his sobs, a time more, then he heard soft footsteps. He looked up, and saw a shadowed figure approaching on a dim path he was sure had not been there before. "Lucifer! Oh bless you, please, help me!" he begged, staying at Abel's side, watching Lucifer anxiously.
"Oh, Cain, what have you done now…? God will not be pleased… He will not love you now…" Lucifer taunted, a terrifying grin on His face: once so beautiful, it now was fearsome, though little changed.
Cain swallowed roughly and hung his head, wiping at his eyes. "Please, Lucifer. I can't stand that fate."
"Nor I Mine, and yet, does it change anything?" Lucifer asked, spreading His arms in a gesture of hopelessness. Cain tensed, desperate and terrified. "But no, it is a hard fate… His weak and pitiful humans could not stand it. I will help you, Cain," Lucifer replied, laying a hand on Cain's shoulder.
"Thank You… Bless You…" Cain murmured.
"Don't thank Me so soon, nor bless Me. I am Fallen, remember?" Lucifer asked.
Cain nodded. "What do I do," he asked meekly.
"Nothing. Go back to working the fields. I will take Abel's body. When God speaks to you, it will not be a lie when you tell Him you do not know what has become of Abel," Lucifer told him.
Cain nodded slowly. "All… all right," he replied, still staring at Abel.
"Get up, get to work!" Lucifer growled, and Cain scrambled to his feet and ran into the fields.
Lucifer picked up Abel's body and Cain saw Him walk away on the unfamiliar and dim path out of the corner of his watering eyes. When he looked later, the path was gone again.
Cain threw himself into his work and returned home very late. Adam and Eve knew fear these days, and for all their trust in God, the feared for their sons. Therefore, when Eve saw Cain, she ran and embraced him. "Oh, God be praised! But yet, where is your brother?" she asked, looking behind Cain.
Cain shook his head. "I don't know. Maybe he's staying with his flock tonight, as he has other nights," Cain muttered. He ate ravenously afterwards and went to bed, scarcely sparing another dozen words.
As Cain slept, Lucifer returned to the fields with Abel's corpse. A great plot arose from the center of Cain's field, leaving a yawning hole in the earth. Lucifer shifted so His form appeared as that of Cain. In this guise, He fooled the dead and desecrated and buried Abel's body, after spilling pints of blood and drinking a drop for good measure.
The next day, the Metatron, God's puppet voice, met Cain in the fields. Adam's family knew Metatron as God, for God could not speak to them Himself – they could not stand it.
"Hello, Cain. Where is your brother, Abel?" The Metatron asked with His dull eyes and monotonous voice. He was made in mockery of Lucifer, the true Voice.
Cain continued tilling the ground. "I do not know," he murmured. "Am I my brother's keeper?"
"Do not question Me, My son…."
"But I must!" Cain's anxieties took hold of him, made him wild. "You love Abel more, don't You? You always have! Is it blood You want?" Cain begged.
"You have misunderstood, and the blood you have shed for Me can have no reward," the Metatron replied.
Cain jumped, dropping his tool. "What!"
"From the soil, his blood cries out to me. See?" replied the Metatron, gesturing, and with this gesture, Abel's spirit rose from the ground not a cubit from Cain.
"Murderer! How dare you? For you I am dead! Vengeance, my Father, I cry for vengeance!" spoke Abel.
Cain fell to his knees. "Abel, I'm so sorry, I-!"
"Silence, both of you," the Metatron commanded coolly. "You will be avenged, Abel."
"No," Cain cried, embracing the Metatron round his knees. "Please! All I want is Your love!"
"It is beyond your grasp, child."
Cain pulled away, staring at the Metatron in shock, disbelief. "He was right!" Cain stuttered. "You are an arbitrary God! I will despise You, and curse You for this favoritism!" Cain wept.
"You will only cause yourself-"
"Enough. Be gone, Metatron," A deep, familiar voice commanded. The force of that voice made Cain shudder, and the transient form of the Metatron dissipated in its wake.
"Lu- Lucifer!" Cain cried, his heart aching at seeing that so familiar form.
Lucifer ignored him; He addressed the heavens. "You see, My Lord? Your humans are weak and foolish!"
Cain sagged as Lucifer began to speak. His secret 'friend' did not care about him any more. Lucifer despised him. Lucifer would not intercede on Cain's behalf.
"Eve took the forbidden apple with scarce any urging. Now, Cain eats from my palm! He has killed his younger brother, and claimed to despise You! My God, You know of My love! Smite these foolish creations, and let me return to sit at Your right hand where I belong!"
A voice boomed, seeming to come from all directions. "You know I cannot," God said simply. Cain screamed at the experience of hearing God's true voice, his hands clapping to his ears. It was too much for his human body – already the tiny blood vessels in his nose and ears had ruptured. As he was about to pass out, he felt a hot, heavy hand rest on his shoulder – Lucifer. A power briefly flared through him, then settled, and Cain remained alive and aware, shaking, no longer human, but something a touch more, able to withstand the glory of his God's true voice without unraveling.
"I love You, My God!" Lucifer cried, tears streaming down His face, paying no more attention to Cain.
"And I You, My Morning Star – My Omega. Be patient, Shining One," God said softly, like distant thunder rumbling over the land.
"Patient? Every moment I am separated from You is its own eternity of suffering! How can I be patient in such agony? I know You feel this too! Why suffer so for these useless beings?" Lucifer argued, a hand going to His chest, where His Morning Star was concealed, burning against Him, causing suffering unimaginable, yet He would not bear to part with His precious gift.
"I do. Yet We are strong as these humans are not. We can be patient. Eternity is not so long, to Us."
Lucifer lifted His hand from Cain to wipe His eyes miserably. "But why, My Alpha?"
"You know why."
"But knowing a thing and believing in it are completely different! Please, let Me come home! I miss You!"
"I know. If it is any consolation, I miss You, My Omega."
Lucifer laughed bitterly. "How is that of use to Me? How is it I can love You with every fiber of My being and hate You so at the same time? Why did You make me this way! I can't stand it!" Lucifer was growing hysterical.
Cain was terrified and agonized, yet the power of God's voice was nothing to the pain in Lucifer's shaking, desperate words. Cain would have given anything to make Lucifer happy, and though he knew Lucifer despised him, he wanted to help. He reached out blindly, groping for Lucifer's hand, and found it and held it tightly, snuggling close to the Morning Star, whimpering in pain. "Please calm down," he barely breathed, but Lucifer and God alike heard him clearly.
"I am sorry, My child… We forgot You. We cannot continue this with Cain around, My Omega. It is too much for him, even after You have strengthened him. I must make My judgment – We have time and time to speak further, Lucifer," God said, sounding almost regretful.
Cain quivered. They'd forgot him? Then why, indeed, did God not rid the earth of humans and allow Lucifer to return to Heaven. "You… You are God…?" he asked softly.
"I am."
Cain hung his head, genuflected, squeezing Lucifer's hand tightly – Lucifer yanked away. Cain choked back a sob.
"Cain, you have taken the life of another like yourself – another human, another being made in My image. For this, no further life will come to you. You are cursed of the earth, and until She forgives you for the blood She drank, no more crops will spring from your tending. You will be made to wander, and you will not know Me again till your curse is lifted."
Cain swallowed roughly. "My God, this punishment is more than I can stand! I will make my blood join with Abel's!" he proclaimed.
"No, you will not be twice a murderer," God replied. "I will not allow it."
"Then I will find some one else who will end my misery! There must be a merciful person in this world!" Cain protested.
"The only mercy for the damned is of the damned," Lucifer said scornfully.
"None will kill Cain. I will put a mark on you, My child, so all will know not to kill you. Whosoever does so will be avenged sevenfold. Now go, far from this land!"
Cain screamed as God's unadulterated power filled and marked him, and, with his judgment given, he at last passed out.
Cain woke in a hot and bright place. The ground was an endless roll of golden, crystalline sand – some of which had gotten into his mouth. He spat out what he could. More clung to his sweat-soaked body, itching and irritating, finding its way into tender creases to work its special torment.
Cain struggled to his hands and knees, whispering, "Where am I?" then shouting it desperately, looking at the sun-bleached, cloudless sky for an answer that would not come. He shook, turning his head back down, eyes shut tight against the painful brightness. He groaned, his stomach doing flips, and vomited heavily, till at last no more came up. He backed away and stood, whimpering. He'd never felt so horrible in his life, and he knew no help would come for him.
As Cain stood, he felt a weighty force push at his back and settle around his shoulders. He heard cruel, indistinct voices in his ears. He clapped his hands over his ears to no avail, taking a step forward to avoid the heavy force. As he moved, it eased, but when he stopped, it was there again. Cain began taking hesitant steps forward… God had said he would be forced to wander… it was so…
With every step, though the force grew fainter, Cain's heart grew heavier. God would have nothing to do with him… Abel hated him; Lucifer despised him… His parents would too, when they heard what he'd done. It was hopeless… The voices whispered these things to him and more, and they were right. Precious tears he couldn't afford dripped from his eyes at moments, and the only sound in the vast, still desert was his occasional rough sobs or sighs.
Cain walked for time immeasurable; he stumbled and fell to the ground. His feet bled; his skin was cracked, dry and burned scarlet. He screamed his pain as his weakened and burning body fell upon sand like embers that found its way in every crack. He screamed, and beat the ground and cursed it: cursed all things. At last, though, his throat grew dry and closed up, and he screamed no more.
And in all this time, the force had become so heavy Cain felt himself sinking into the sand. He struggled to rise, and found he could no longer make it to his feet, so, miserably, he began to crawl to appease the curse and the cruel laughter of punishing angels in his ears. He searched desperately for water.
A year's time passed (in days of burning like Gehenna, and nights of freezing like the highest tier of Heaven, at all times pushed forward, never resting) when he finally spotted a small, clear oasis before him. He cried out wordlessly, his dry throat cracking and bleeding the little fluid left in him.
He tried to hurry, but it was beyond him to speed up even the tiniest bit – had Lucifer not made him more than human, he could not have moved at all.
Cain could not know how long it took him to reach the water's edge, though it could not have been as long as it felt. Still, at last he reached that tiny spring, and fell next to it, cupping his hands in the water and pressing the life-giving liquid to his mouth greedily – yet it would go no further. He panicked, working his throat, yet the water stopped at the back of his mouth, and would not allow itself to be swallowed.
Cain let the water drain from his mouth as he sobbed dryly, wretched. Forsaken, he thought. Hated by all, helped by none, probably forgotten, and unable to quaff even a momentary comfort…
He stayed by that small oasis afterwards, merely circling it to fulfill the urge to wander, to move. He tortured himself with it, listened all too well as the whispered angels' voices cackled in his ears, and teased him about the water he could not drink. He deserved nothing better. He was the scourge of existence… he hated God, and cursed Him, then pleaded for forgiveness and death.
He was alone in his suffering… Alone, despised by all, forgotten in the desert… And the cruel, unforgiving earth would not even allow him to drink Her water, and the avenging angels did not let him forget this, or that he was forgotten, or that he was miserably alone when he was so used to companionship…
At last, Cain heard a soft, deep voice command, "Drink."
It was familiar… Yet Cain barely dared to hope, couldn't dare to hope, for he would be let down, surely… Surely it could not be…
Slowly, he let his eyes squint open, wincing at the white brilliance of the blinding sand and sun. He strained to search the ground, lifting his head slowly with weakness. There – a blur he thought might be feet. Oh, God let it be so…
He followed the blur upwards, unable to check a relieved sound from escaping him, as he just barely recognized the figure of his secret friend… Lucifer. Something stirred deep in his pain-tightened chest. Just to… just to not suffer alone, even for a few moments… to not be alone anymore…
But no sooner had Cain thought then he realized his own ridiculousness. He dropped his head, squeezing his dry and aching eyes against the brightness once again, a single choked laugh escaping him. How foolish he was to think… Lucifer despised him… Why would Lucifer keep him company? He made to crawl onward. Lucifer was probably only there to mock him, make him suffer more… Lucifer despised him… despised him…
"Wait, Cain. Drink," Lucifer said again, stepping forward and placing a gentle hand on Cain's shoulder.
Cain shook, his chest so tight he could barely breathe. "I can't," he muttered. His voice was cracked and barely audible – even Lucifer strained to hear it. Cain tried to pull away from Lucifer, his throat bleeding at being used so much just recently, and he began coughing roughly and dry heaved, tearing his fragile body apart. His hands slid out from under him and his face slammed into the ground. He cried out faintly at the pain and heat, at last giving up, letting his legs slide out so he lay flat on the ground, the force of wandering settling on him, pressing him downwards – the punishing angels screamed threats in his ears and commanded him to rise and run from Lucifer.
Lucifer looked at Cain in disbelief, unfamiliar with witnessing such weakness. The angels were never weak, never pathetic, even in their suffering. But this human was so very weak… Even Lucifer's betrayed heart sang out for this human.
Lucifer turned His attention to the water, walking to it and glaring. "Don't be so stubborn," He commanded it, as a small, brilliant, red, ceramic bowl appeared in His left hand. He filled the bowl, and walked back to Cain.
Lucifer sat at the human's side, setting down the bowl to use both hands to carefully tug Cain into His lap. He stroked Cain's throat gently, healing it inside and out. "You can," He persuaded, picking up the bowl again and pressing it to Cain's lips.
Cain tensed, sure Lucifer was only taunting him, yet he was so thirsty, and so desperate for companionship… At first, Cain didn't want the water, sure it would only be a tease, yet at last he let his lips part, thinking he would just get a taste, just a little comfort…
The water was cool and soothing against his dry and cracked lips, and altogether heavenly in a mouth as dry as the desert itself, and half as sandy. He swallowed feebly out of a reflex that he didn't realize he still had, and the water passed down his weakened esophagus. Shocked, he began coughing roughly again, choking on the water. Lucifer held him and rubbed his back comfortingly till at last he stilled again, breathing heavily, painfully.
Lucifer pressed the bowl to Cain's lips again, and Cain drank steadily for what might have been eternity. Somehow, the bowl never ran empty, and the water was as cool as from the Heaven-fed streams of Eden.
When Cain could drink no more, Lucifer lowered the bowl and it vanished. Cain let himself relax against Lucifer, stealing a moment of peace. Even if Lucifer vanished in the very next instant, at least he had now. He could savor the time he had, with the overwhelming pain forgotten in midst of the supreme relief of the water, and the body he lay against now was soft, smooth, and warm, unlike the hard, rough and burning or freezing sand.
They sat silently. Lucifer brushed Cain's tangled and matted hair with His fingers; He wiped away blood, healed scrapes, bruises, blisters, burns… Cain's breath was heavy and slow, his eyes not squeezed shut, but merely closed; his body lax for the first time since the night he'd lain with Lucifer.
Lucifer brushed His fingers over Cain's lips, leaving them as full and smooth and sweet as He remembered. He pressed His own delicately against Cain's.
Cain let it all happen as if he was a spectator watching from far, far away. He let Lucifer's tongue invade him, offering no resistance whatsoever, nor drawing into the kiss. Lucifer was careful: Cain was so very weak… Lucifer parted after just a moment, allowing Cain to breathe.
It was several moments before they did anything more. Finally, Cain murmured, "Thank You…" It hurt very badly to talk, even after the light healing Lucifer had enacted. He could manage little more… Just… "Why?"
Lucifer sighed, carefully wrapping His arms around Cain's frail form. "Many things, many little things, and things you would not understand… But above all… Even I do not suffer alone. And you are perhaps the only creature in all existence who can ever fathom My pain…"
Cain slowly lifted his hand, resting it on Lucifer's shoulder, gripping as tightly as he could, though that wasn't much. He pushed himself against Lucifer, desperate again. He didn't want to hope… hope would let him down… Yet, after what Lucifer had done, had said… He couldn't help but hope. And the tiny flicker of hope was too big in his tight chest; he had to let it out. So as bad as it hurt to talk, he had to ask. "You… don't despise me?"
"Only you… Because you are no longer truly human… You are mine… He has a wretched sense of humor – I cannot create, but I can warp…" Lucifer's words grew bitter as He spoke the last.
Cain shook slightly. "Not human…?"
"More than human. Other wise, you could not have survived God's true voice," Lucifer explained. "Do you trust Me?"
Cain was silent. His throat burned and stung viciously from over use. Lucifer grew dejected as the silence yawned, though Cain still clung to Him with the barest whisper of strength that remained in his body. Cain swallowed feebly, and said, "Just once… once more…" He couldn't help but hope… He didn't want Lucifer to despise him. He wanted to believe Lucifer did not despise him.
Lucifer smiled softly. "All right. I will not betray you again, Cain, cursed of the Earth. Now sleep…"
Cain obliged gratefully.
When Cain awoke, it was to find himself in a far different situation. He was lying on what seemed to be a stack of rose petals, yet the petals were at least a cubit and a half longer than he was tall. He was set in a small, shady grove, which was filled with sweet smelling flowers. It was slowly he rose, and starving. "Lucifer?" he whispered, looking around. A path opened for him, and he followed, noting his feet, as the rest of him, were healed. At the path's end he found Lucifer reclining in another such petal turned boat. It was laden also with small baskets of fruit, cooked meats and such, and the lake it floated in was massive and clear.
"Step in, lay down," Lucifer invited. Cain obeyed hesitantly, expecting the frail-looking craft to break or sink. It did neither.
Lucifer smiled, tugging Cain to lie atop of Him. "Here, eat," He added, grabbing a peach from the basket and feeding Cain, grinning as the fruit left sticky, sweet trails running down Cain's chin. "I am afraid I cannot get rid of God's curse," He said, sobering. "And there are certain things you must do in your existence that I cannot change. It is God's mandate." Cain's face fell, yet Lucifer lifted it with a finger beneath that soft, child-like chin. "But, I can help you. Lessen some of the effects… Be My consort, and I will take care of you, and protect you as I can. I will make you a Devil, with power greater than humans can imagine, and give you a wondrous Devil form in addition to your human form. In return, be subject to Me, and I will have you stay with me at most times… And I will protect you. Will you accept My offer?" Lucifer asked earnestly. He found that, though He knew Cain's answer, He couldn't help but wonder, fear. He wanted desperately for the marked one to accept – He could not believe He felt so!
Cain reached out and stroked Lucifer's cheek. He leaned up and met Lucifer in a warm, gentle kiss. Their bodies heated, rubbing against one another. At last, Cain broke away, panting. "Love me," he begged, and Lucifer smiled softly, wrapping His arms around Cain's waist.
"Gladly…" He murmured into Cain's ear, licking and nibbling at the lobe. Cain whimpered, his arms around Lucifer's neck, pressing his body against the Morning Star's, sliding his legs along Lucifer's, imitating things that he remembered bringing him pleasure…
Lucifer growled softly, possessively. Cain was smart… Lucifer traced kisses down the boy's jaw line, licking up the peach juice He'd left unattended earlier before going back to those soft, wonderful lips.
This time, there were no ulterior motives, just desire, even love, when so many in Heaven called Lucifer heartless. Cain lay on his back on Lucifer, with the Morning Star pushed deep in his body, and Lucifer fed the shy and quivering boy peaches till Cain thought he would go insane, and then Lucifer continued, knowing that, like the first time so long before, it would be short. After all, Cain was still so untried, and his body had been so weak so long….
Lucifer was resigned and content with finishing himself off, yet, after Cain had released, Cain reached down and did his best. Lucifer moaned, shocked and pleased, reaching down to guide Cain, urging him to use a tighter grasp.
Cain beamed with pride when Lucifer finally came, and the boy snuggled close to Lucifer at His side as Lucifer panted and laid kisses on Cain's upturned face, beaming pride much more openly than His shy boy.
Finally, Cain grasped Lucifer's hand, and their tangled fingers rested on Lucifer's broad, powerful chest. "I want to stay with You. I'll accept, and be Your consort. I love You."
Lucifer chuckled, oddly relieved, holding Cain carefully. "Very well. I love You too, strange as it is to say…" The Fallen mused.
They were quiet a few more moments, basking in the pleasure of each other's company.
"Lucifer?"
"Yes?"
Cain was quiet, as if in thought, before speaking. "My mother, Eve, once spoke of a perfect place, where she and my father had everything they wanted… Eden. Am I in Eden?"
Lucifer laughed whole-heartedly, running His free hand threw Cain's hair. "Ah, you would think that! No, you're not in Eden, and you wouldn't want to be! Eden is but a twisted memory of itself, warped by the Cherubim who guard it." He stroked Cain absent-mindedly. "No, this is just a glade I designed for My stays on earth… When I choose to leave Hell," He explained lazily.
"Hell?" Cain asked softly.
Lucifer snorted, "Another part of my punishment. For trying to take the throne of Heaven, God has given Me My own throne, in a place called Hell. He mocks Me at every turn…"
"Why did You try for the throne?" Cain murmured, hoping Lucifer would not be angry with him again for prying.
Lucifer sighed. "He was going to destroy Us."
"How?"
"You ask too many questions," Lucifer commented, pressing a finger to Cain's lips when he saw the boy open them to apologize. "No, it's all right. My excuse was that He asked Us to bow before the babe, Adam, when none bowed even to Me, another half of God Himself. And to bow before another like before God? No, a thousand reasons I could not do it. But, above all, the creation of the humans signaled My fall, to allow the humans free choice. I fought to destroy Adam, so I could stay in Heaven." Lucifer chuckled again, eyeing Cain. "Does this bother you? Do you wish you had not asked and learned the grudge I carry against humanity, perhaps wish you had not agreed to Our deal?"
"No," Cain replied, quiet, but sure. "I was thinking… I think I understand. If letting Abel live would have meant God never cared for me, I would have killed him on purpose. I didn't mean to kill him!" Suddenly Cain looked at Lucifer desperately, clinging to Him, desiring his beloved to understand and accept him and his truth. "I didn't mean to, Lucifer, I swear! I'm so sorry for it! And not just because I was punished!" Cain sobbed.
"I know," Lucifer murmured, enveloping Cain in a warm hug as the boy sobbed. Lucifer hushed and comforted Cain until, at last, Cain calmed, stroking Lucifer's chest languidly. "I'll tell him for you, Cain. And you will see him again, yet. Don't worry," Lucifer whispered.
"Thank You."
"Don't thank Me."