DISCLAIMER: Heh, I'd have a car with air conditioning if I owned Lupin the Third, don't you think?
Allo!
Sorry if this is coming out a little late… I had some bad computer problems and was on the phone with AOL for about an hour before resolving the problem… Anyway, yes, here is another installment which I hope everyone enjoys… I'm still taking requests for Scrapbook Memories…. And I just wanted to thank everybody again for all of their support over the years… Happy Independence Day to American readers!
P.S.: This chapter goes out to Yuki, who has once again graced me with inspiration. Domo arigato bows
Fun Fact of Boredom: Myra and Nina are based after two of the primary characters in the anime Utena. Although I've never seen an episode of it, unfortunately, I used what I knew from the series for a very loose basis.
Chapter Eighteen: I Left my Heart in San Francisco
San Francisco, California:
"Ryo-san, you're not going?" asked Fuji as she finished applying her makeup, looking back at Ryoko, who was watching her usual black and white Western drama while lied across the couch.
"Um, for some reason, watching my ex get married doesn't really appeal to me," replied Ryo as she looked out at the window at the clouds passing by.
"All right… We're going now, but we're leaving the Romeo here, so feel free to drive around a bit to get your mind off of things," Fuji gave a smile, and then exited with the rest of the Lupin gang soon after. Ryo sat up and rested her elbows upon her knees, and gave a heavy sigh. No wonder she was called the sulky one in all of those Lupin the Fourth fanpages Heiji had shown them. Maybe she was too serious for her own good.
She rose, and began to walk toward the bedroom; sleep would do her a world of good. Right before entering her room, the phone rang, and Ryo sighed, walked across the room and answered it, "It's on the dresser, Fuji, I'll bring it down…"
"Look outside your window," she gasped at the voice, and drew the curtain back. There stood Victor Lupin on a cell phone, looking back up at her and smiling. But what really caught Ryo's attention was the cherry red Thunderbird he was leaning against. "You wanna come take this for a test drive?"
"I… I'll be right down…" said Ryo, thinking about the Thunderbird the entire time and little of Victor. She slid into her sandals, and quickly walked down to meet him. She graced her hand over the hood, and smiled as she looked inside at the interior. Victor reached beneath the hood and popped it, and showed her the engine.
"Sweet God," said Ryo, crossing herself, "it's a Hemi…"
"Here," Victor tossed her the keys, and hopped into the passenger seat. "You know anywhere where you could run this at its max speed?"
"Heh, wait 'til I show you!" Ryo slammed down the hood, jumped into the driver's side and sped off, causing Victor to falter and fall out of his seat.
The Zenigata Household:
"You never told me Harry was doing this!" Max hissed to his mother as he pointed to the slightly breezy man dressed in a prayer shawl and yarmulke, "And where'd you find the priest? Jesus Christ Superstar not touring anymore?" next to the breezy rabbi stood a breezy priest with long hair and sandals.
"They were the best I could find… I can't say a lot of people jumped to do this ceremony," replied Natasha in a quiet snap. "Turn around while I adjust your skullcap…"
"I can do it!" Max replied, fixing the pins on it and looking at himself in the mirror. He then looked at his mother and smiled, "How do I look?"
"More beautiful than your father's pension check," replied Natasha, kissing him on the cheek and then embracing him. "I can't believe you're actually getting married!"
"I'm already married, Mom."
"I don't count it because I wasn't there," replied Natasha, still holding onto him tightly. "G-d I love you…."
"I know, I know," Max patted her on the shoulder, and broke out of his embrace with her. "Well, almost time." He kissed her on the forehead and walked out onto the back yard. On Max's side sat the Zenigatas and the Yalkzaltas, Natasha's family. Max had to keep his cringe inward as he passed his Grandma Zenigata, who looked like his father plus thirty years and a white wig. On Leo's side sat the Lupins, the Ishikawas and the Jigens, as well as the Lupin the Fourth gang, minus Ally, who stood as Best Man. In spite of his and Leo's differences, they had both promised long ago to stand at one another's wedding. For bridesmaids they had Myra, Nina and Dako. When they had approached their daughter about becoming the flower girl she had practically killed both of them (saying she was too old, and that was childish), so they used a niece of Max's. One of his nephews served as the ring bearer.
The procession began, and Max walked down first, followed by Leo. There had been an argument on who would go first, so a coin was flipped earlier, and it was decided that way. They each went through vows, Max first, and then Leo, who was referred to as Leonard Lupin. Lupin the Third gave a smile at this; so he had accepted his family and its heritage, after all.
"Well," the priest closed the Bible, looked at the rabbi, and smiled, and then looked out at the crowd, "all is awesome and well, so now I pronounce you two husband and…. Husband… Congrats, dudes… Power to your people and all that…."
"Salom," said Harry, the rabbi.
"It's shalom, Harold. Sha-lom," Max said in a whisper.
"Oh, shalom!" Harry coughed uncomfortably, "Sorry, Max…"
"You know him?" Leo asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Only through force," Max replied in a whisper. "We used to go to school together, he'd always copy off of my notes…"
"If he copied off your notes and became a rabbi, does that mean you were actually good at that, Zenigata?"
"Never said I was bad at the school work, I just had a rough time behaving," Max answered.
"Dude, you can kiss him now if you want," said the priest to the two.
"Aren't you missing a beach cookout somewhere?" asked Max.
"Yeah, but Old Man Lupin's offering a totally excellent sum of money… So let's have it so we can get some punch!" said the priest in a California surfer tone.
"Well, you sure they won't mind? Jigen's squirming a little," said Max in a chuckle.
"They'll just have to deal," Leo leaned in and kissed Max, and Jigen Daisuke was then glad at that moment that he was so near being blind. Goemon pounded on his chest a few times as he felt his heart begin to beat a little irregularly, and then caught sight of Amaya's glare. He gave a nervous smile, and clapped along with her.
"Okay, I'm gonna go find me some booze," Yukiko rose after the happy couple walked down the aisle and out of sight.
"I second that," said Toshiro, rising.
"Third," Heiji added quickly, rising and walking out with the duo.
A San Francisco beach:
"You okay, Victor?" Ryo asked as she fishtailed the car along the empty beach once more.
"Yes," Victor lied, holding back a scream as Ryo sped toward at series of jagged rocks. She stopped it inches away, and then laughed at Victor's stunned expression.
"You've got suspension from hell on this thing!" Ryo said as she reversed the car and then got back onto the highway. "Well, you're still a jerk, but I think this is just what I needed…"
"I suppose I'll forgo any argument and take that as a compliment," said Victor with a raised eyebrow.
"Sounds good… Hey, I think I know a racetrack around here!" said Ryo.
"Maybe we should grab a bite to eat… It's about dinner time, anyway…" replied Victor quickly. Ryo was not only a lot of work, but she was a speed freak, and that combination frightened Victor to his very core.
"Okay… Anywhere in particular? I kinda feel like seafood…"
And she was expensive, to top it off.
"Sounds good," Victor said with a shrug. Ryo slammed on the gas, and Victor clung on for dear life, praying that she'd stop at the first place they reached. He didn't even care how expensive it was… His life was priceless.
The Zenigata Household, Later that Evening:
"Hey, we've got a party down there!" said Leo as Max continued to lead him up the stairs by the hand. In one instance Leo tripped and landed on his jaw. "Yeouch!"
"Oh, you okay?" asked Max worried as he helped Leo rise.
"It's just my chin… And my pride…" replied Leo. "Hey, hey—Zenigata, what in the hell are you doing!" Leo yelped as Max lifted him and carried him down the hall.
"Carrying you over this threshold," replied Max as he kicked open his door and then closed it behind him. He sat Leo down and kissed him.
"I'm so going to start putting saltpeter in everything you eat!" Leo snapped. "Maybe it'd keep you from acting so much like, like—Like my father!"
Max looked down at Leo, and laughed. "I've got a minifridge up here… I'll get you some ice to put on that war wound of yours, soldier…"
"All right," Leo removed his glasses, and rubbed his eyes and face; he was more than a little tired from the routine of the day. Who would've thought getting married would take so much out of you? He kicked off his shoes and removed his jacket, and lied down upon the bed. The party had been going on for hours, and it was to the point where all of the Jigens were getting drunk, the Yalkzaltas were talking politics to a point where they were becoming near violent (the entire family was police officers or military personnel), the Ishikawas were attempting to round up their children, the Lupins were putting lampshades upon their heads and the Zenigatas simply glared at all about them suspiciously. They wouldn't really miss him. He felt his eyes grow heavy and he yawned, and by the time Max returned, he was asleep.
"He's lucky I'm a gentleman," said Max as he took a blanket and covered Leo with it. He leaned down and kissed him on the cheek, and his euphoria was soon shattered by the sound of loud clashing. There was soon after Yiddish and Japanese shouts being returned, and Max sighed, and turned toward the doorway, "Better go play peacemaker… Good night, Ari…"
"G'night," Leo yawned, and rolled over in the bed. Max smiled, and switched off the light to their room before walking down the stairs and back into the mass of friends and relatives.
"Yo, Zenigata, this means we're siblings now!" said an obviously drunk Fuji as she spotted Max and draped an arm about him, "Does… Does that mean I like, kissed my brother… God, that's sooo damn sick! Khe hee hee hee…"
That laugh, that obnoxious laugh. Fuji reeked of booze and Chanel. "I think you need to switch to ginger ale…"
"Are you kidding—I have no friggin' clue what this crap is, but I like it!" said Fuji, taking another swig of a yellow liquid with Israeli writing. Max blinked in surprise; lamp oil. Where had she even found lamp oil?
"O-kay… Ginger ale… Definitely," Max said, taking the lamp oil from her hands and walking back into the kitchen with it.
Fuji smiled, and stumbled over and onto Goemon, "Heya, sailor, wanna dance?" she asked drunkenly.
"Eh…" Goemon looked down at her with reasonable worry.
"Heh, amateur. I'll take this, Goemon," Yukiko sighed, and unhanded Goemon from Fuji.
Fuji wiped her mouth and let out another long laugh, and leaned against Yukiko, "You gotta admit, he's got a nice ass for an old guy…" she looked at Yukiko and smiled, "And you're pretty, for a girl… I'm not gay or anything, ah hell, no! Ha ha! I hate women, in all honesty… All bunch a'… Stab backers! Where'd that booze go?"
"I give it five minutes before she falls into the pool," said Yukiko to Goemon with a sigh as Fuji stumbled off toward another destination. "She's right, though."
"Yes, well, Toshiro has very good taste," said Goemon with a smile.
"Yeah… I was talking about that other thing, but okay," Yukiko winked and nudged Goemon, "Come on, I've gotta talk to you about something…" she led him off, and out into the back yard.
"The Rat Clan? You're positive?" asked Goemon after Yukiko had explained the situation to him.
"Yep. Look," Yukiko tossed him the pendant she had been given a few weeks ago, and Goemon studied it, and sighed.
"Well, if it's one man, it shouldn't be a problem…." said Goemon, "Toshiro will protect you."
"Yeah, you're probably right… I just don't want him to freak out, though," Yukiko replied as she put the pedant back in her pocket and looked toward the pool. "I had a hell of a time breaking it to him that he wasn't my first boyfriend… He's always been like that, though… Protective, naïve, overbearing… A lot like you…"
"I won't deny it," Goemon shrugged. "Shall we return?"
"Sounds good," replied Yukiko with a newfound reassurance.
A Seafood Restaurant:
"And that's how I managed to break both of my arms for the third time… How about you, what was your first date like?" asked Ryo as she cracked open the left pincher of her lobster and began to fish out the meat within.
"Eh, not quite as interesting as that," replied Victor with a few blinks while he still tried to register this. "It was with some father's friend's daughter… Real annoying girl, come to think of it… I don't see her much anymore… She got married a year ago."
Ryo raised an eyebrow as she watched Victor's expressions change while he said this, and she gave a laugh, "That jealous, neh?"
"I only tried to have him killed once… Twice if you count cutting his brakes…"
"Why didn't that happen? Cut brakes should've done him in…"
"Apparently I couldn't tell the difference between a brake line and a sparkplug," Victor admitted, taking another sip of his wine. Ryo gave a small giggle at this.
"How'd you mistake that?"
"Quite easily… Not all of us while away most of hours knee-deep in car grease," replied Victor as he cracked open the crab he had ordered.
"Heh, but everyone should know some car repair…" replied Ryo, "I'll teach you if you want."
"Maybe on the second date… There's go to be one, right?"
"That's a really pathetic way to ask me out, Victor," Ryo answered quickly. "And as of now I'm not sure…"
"Great, another one gone," Victor grumbled and leaned back in his chair a little, placing his hands in his lap and looking upward with a mixture of annoyance and self loathing.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It may come as a bit of a shock to you, but… I feel like there's almost a curse upon me…"
"I wouldn't be surprised… Enough people hate you…"
"I treat women as best as I possibly can… I buy them the nicest things, say every damn thing those books say to say…"
"Books? You read?"
"Yes!" Victor slammed his wine glass down, "Even that jackass Ari managed to get someone… Even if it is a Zenigata…"
"Are you telling me you're bi?" asked Ryo, blinking a few times in surprise.
"Might as well be… I might have more luck in that category…" replied Victor sorrowfully.
"Wow… Um…" Ryo noted now that many people had stopped their eating, and were looking at Victor, who was hunched over on the booth table and mumbling to himself. Ryo frowned and kicked him in the shin, "You need to quit feeling sorry for yourself about it!"
"Heh, that's rich coming from the sulky Lupin gang member…"
"I do not sulk!"
"No, you watch those God-awful black and white Westerns."
"Hank Williams is God, and that's that."
"You tried to throw yourself off of a bridge two years ago… You've tried other ways to end your existence, too…."
"Who the hell told you that?" Ryo demanded angrily.
"I have info on all of the Lupin the Fourth members… How do you think I know where you are at all times? Maybe I should become a detective… I could catch you guys… What do you say, hm?"
"I say you can kiss my ass," Ryo stood and stormed out of the restaurant angrily. Victor quickly laid down a few bills and ran out after Ryo. Ryo was already inside the car and starting it up, and Victor managed to quickly jump in before she took off from zero to sixty in a matter of seconds. Ryo said nothing to Victor, even while he berated her for not stopping and nearly killing him.
"I know you don't value your own life greatly, but that doesn't mean you don't have to respect mine!" Victor shouted angrily.
"You couldn't possibly sound more cold saying that… 'I've heard you've tried to'…. Ohhhh…. You sound like some sort of damn robot!" Ryo yelled, loosing her famous laid back personality. "It's people like you who I hate—Those people who just talk about everything and sound so damn casual!"
"In other words, yourself," Victor concluded.
"God damn I hate you…"
"I love you," Victor said after a long pause between the two.
"You're really annoying, Victor… What do you see in me, anyway, huh? Whatever happened to Odori?"
"She's in love with someone who's the head of a powerful clan… I let her go due to the fact I love my life…" replied Victor, "As for you… I like it when you call me a jerk… You're the only woman besides Ishikawa who told me what they really thought… A lot of other women just say things because of who my family's descended from… They weren't sincere… I love your sincerity, Jigen, even if it's sincere disgust."
"Do you like twisting peoples' emotions around, or does it come naturally to you?" asked Ryo as she made a turn back towards the beach.
"Well, every Lupin's got a gift… Mine, it seems, is to make people hate me…" replied Victor with a shrug. "Where're we going?"
"Back to the beach. I want to see a sunrise. I've never seen one on this coast before," Ryo answered.
"That's seven hours away," a confused Victor looked down at his watch, and then back up at Ryo with clear confusion on his expression.
"What, you can't talk to me until then?" asked Ryo, looking over at Victor and glaring.
"Um… I suppose…"
"Good, then," Ryo made another turn, and soon they were on their way to the beach once again.
The Zenigata Residence:
"Hm? How long was I out?" Leo Lupin yawned and stretched, and looked up at the cat-clock upon the guest room wall, "Three in the morning? Jeeze!" He lied his head back down, but found that he could not easily fall back to sleep. He could feel a presence staring at him. He quietly raised his head, and then tumbled out of bed in surprise as he saw a figure sitting in a lounge chair in the corner of the room. He uprighted himself and gave a sigh of relief as he saw it was only his father.
"Dad, what are you doing in here?" asked Leo as he sat upon the bed and looked up at his father questioningly, "You know, I'm a little old for you to watch me sleep… It's kinda creepy…."
"Ha ha…. You may change your name, but you can't change your sense of humor," replied Lupin with a smile as he rose from the chair and moved himself onto the bed next to his son. "I'm kind of reluctant to sit on here for fear of what you and your blond bride have already done…"
"Nothing, actually," Leo replied with some concern. "Where is Max, anyway?"
"He's downstairs helping with cleanup," replied Lupin with a sly smile.
"And you're hiding out here, huh, and avoiding all of the work?"
"Guilty!" Lupin gave another smile and held up his hands in surrender, "My, you really are a good detective, you know that!"
"How about Dako? Where's she?"
"Raiding Natasha's closet," replied Lupin with a small laugh. "Mrs. Zenigata's still got a lot of nice clothing and jewelry from her undercover years…."
"Did you and Max's mom really…"
"All water under the bridge over the River Kwai, Ari," Lupin answered, nudging his son a little. "So, how's it feel, hm?"
"How's what feel?"
"Married?"
"A little surreal, still… Took a while to find the right one, but I managed… I'm pretty sure…"
"You know, I have another wedding gift for you…"
"Dad, you're already letting me and Max move into the house, taking care of Dako and helping take care of the baby… There's nothing else you possibly could…"
Lupin removed a pocket watch from his jacket pocket, and Leo fell silent, "Remember this?"
"Sure, but I haven't seen it in… In years!" Leo replied as he took hold of it and studied it for a long while, "How'd you find it? I had this stolen!"
"It came up for auction in Moldova," replied Lupin.
"Where in the hell is—"
"Heh, the middle of nowhere…. That's why it sparked my attention," Lupin answered. He rose and patted his son on the shoulder, "Well, I'm gonna go try my luck downstairs now… Max ought to be coming up soon…"
"Thanks, Dad," Leo muttered, and placed the watch in his pocket.
"Moldova?" he repeated when his father had exited, "Is that where you went to?" A few minutes later, Max entered, looking disheveled and exhausted. "What in the heck happened to you?"
"Your father, who insisted on a dance with the other groom," replied Max as he rubbed the back of his neck and kicked off his shoes. "You're lucky, you missed it… Fuji fell into the pool and Heiji had to fish her out… She faked getting water in the lungs, so Heiji gave her mouth-to-mouth, and that just turned out into a big make-out session, and he ended up throwing Fuji back into the pool."
Leo gave a small laugh, "Poor Fuji… She can never win, huh?"
"Nope… See, the good guys always win," Max sat down next to Leo and kissed him. "I think we'll let the old gang get together and have their fun… We'll just stay up here and have a gay ole' time…"
"If you ever use that word in that context again I'll shoot you," Leo said with a small laugh. "You got the tickets for the vacation?"
"Yeah, but there's a problem… I couldn't get them for Jamaica…"
"Where're we going, then?"
"There were some great sales on flights to New Orleans…"
Leo blinked a few times in disbelief, pushed Zenigata back, "Bastard! No flights to Jamaica my ass! You did that on purpose!"
A Hotel Room near the Zenigata house:
"I said I was sorry, what in the hell else do you want, friggin' blood?" Fuji shrieked. Heiji remained stoic as he typed in figures on his laptop, paying no attention to the Lupin flailing her arms about in front of him.
"I thought you were dead!" Heiji yelled, slamming down his laptop and rising to meet her eye-to-eye. "There's lousy tricks, and then there's lousy, Fuji! And that was the worst kind! I'm going to my room…. Good night Fujiko."
"Yeah, konbanwa (good evening)…. Jerk…." Fuji grumbled as she seated herself at the chair Heiji had been sitting at and sat there with her arms folded. She then looked about and smiled as she saw the coast was clear, and opened the laptop once again. She began to type away, looking around every so often for the presence of someone.
"What are you doing?" Fuji jumped and nearly let out a scream as she heard Odori's familiar voice, and the samurai walked out of a shadowed corner, Namiko asleep in her arms.
"How do you keep the baby so quiet?" asked Fuji with wonder.
"I put her grandfather on the phone… He starts to speak and she's out like a light… Not much unlike when I was young," Odori replied. "You still haven't answered my question…"
"I heard some info from Goemon and Yukiko… The Rat Clan's after your brother's girlfriend, apparently… I bugged Yukiko while she pulled me off of Goemon…. I'm a good fake drunk…"
"You're a better fake idiot…"
"Well, you have to admit, it's better to underestimate me…"
"Not for the bad guys."
"Hon, we are the bad guys…."
"That short hair doesn't say that," replied Odori.
Fuji ran her fingers through her hair and gave a shrug and a sigh, "Fujiko Lupin… The saint of sinners…"
"Anyway, what's this on the Rat Clan?"
"I'm concerned, because I've been hearing stuff lately… Stuff I don't like… I want you to go start watch for me…"
"Tonight?"
"Preferably… If you can't go, at least teach me…"
"Teach you what?"
Fuji turned to Odori and smiled, "How to be a ninja."
"No way… I despise ninjas. Samurai and ninja like oil and water…. They don't blend… You mix them and you end up with Toshiro. There's no way I could teach you that…"
"Then I need you to promise me you'll do what I ask for you. You're not Ari's protector anymore, you're everyone's…" said Fuji, glancing down at the stirring Namiko. "I don't think is just one guy after Yuki… There's more, and I think they're going to go after all of us…"
Odori looked downward at her daughter and nodded, "All right, you've got it… But why are you asking all of this of me, and with such foreign seriousness?"
"Because you're the best, of course!" Fuji gave a wide smile, "Here, could I hold my niece for a few seconds, hm?"
"Good way to play upon my ego… You may hold her as long as you're careful," said Odori cautiously.
"Dori, I'm not gonna field goal the kid, I just want to hold her," replied Fuji, holding out her hands. Odori nodded and passed Fuji the baby, and Fuji leaned back in her chair as she became comfortable with Namiko, "There we go… Heh, I think she's dreaming… Her foot's twitching… She gets that same annoyed look you get, hee hee… Wow, maybe if I ever get drunk enough I'll have one of my own! Heiji's brains, my beauty… It's only right!"
"You seen Ryoko around? I'm only asking because she owes me money…"
"No, actually… Jeeze, this airhead act must really be getting to me if I'm starting to lose track of my own teammates."
"Hm, no comment. I'm going to set her to sleep now…" Odori took the baby from Fuji's hands and walked into her hotel room. Fuji turned back to the computer and smiled. On the outside there may have been a smile on Lupin's face, but on the inside she was more than a little concerned for her friends.
Although she had not told Odori this, there was something else Fuji was working on, for the sake of her brother. It hadn't been easy switching out his and Max's flight from Jamaica to one in New Orleans, but she had managed, even with her own minor hacking ability.
"And now I need to find a way to be here and in New Orleans at the same time… How in the world am I going to manage that? Hm…. You know, in a pair of heels, she might work…"
The Beach, Several Hours Later:
"Well, wake up, there's that sunrise you wanted," Victor sighed as he shook Ryo awake. She motioned for him to go away, and she yawned tiredly and leaned against him. The two were in the front seat of the car, Ryo in the driver's side with a gray sports coat draped over her. Victor nudged her again, and she grumbled, but opened her eyes and sat up.
"Heh, the people in Japan'll be waking up in a few hours…" Victor said as he watched the sun begin to rise. "When do they expect you back at Lupin H.Q.?"
"Oh my God—Fuji! She's gonna be pissed!" Ryo immediately sprung to life and started up the car, and sped off toward the hotel.
"Damn it, you could've warned me!" Victor growled as he continued to hold onto the emergency handle for dear life.
A San Francisco Airport:
"You sure you'll be okay to fly back to France with my parents, Dako?" asked Leo as he kneeled down to face the girl at eye-level.
"Yeah… You two just have a nice honeymoon… And bring me back stuff," replied Dako as she embraced Leo. She then turned to Max and held out his hand, and shook it, "If Leo comes back and tells me you were mean to him I'll kick you down a flight of stairs, Max…"
"Um, are you sure she isn't yours biologically?" asked Zenigata.
"Sometimes I just don't know, really," Max sighed, and picked up his carryon onto one shoulder. "Well, at least we'll have a couple of good replacements to give Fuji the runaround… Let someone other than us get made into idiots for once…"
"That's not nice to say at all!" Leo said to Max chidingly. "It was extremely nice for Myra and Nina to take the case out of our hands for two weeks!"
"Suckers," Max chuckled. He smiled at Leo and slapped him gently on the behind. "Well, toy boy, you ready to go?"
"Eh… Sure…" a red-in-the-face Leo added, picking up his carryon and following Max onto the flight. Zenigata turned to Natasha, who had immediately broken out into a small prayer.
"I'd like to learn that language, Nana," said Dako to Natasha as they walked over to the plastic airport seats and sat down. Natasha and Zenigata were Nana and Ojiisan; Lupin and Fujiko were Grandpa and Grandma.
"Hebrew?" asked Natasha, "Or Yiddish?"
"Leo and Max speak Yiddish when they're yelling, and Hebrew when they're talking about something they don't want me to know about, like my birthday… And they also speak in Japanese a lot, but I'm starting to pick up on it… You guys speak it funny, though," she finished, directly addressing Zenigata with this last comment.
The old man smiled and ruffled her hair a little bit, "Well, next time you come over we'll have to teach you some more… Right now here's bakaro ko (I'm not going to translate that…) and Fujiko…" sighed Zenigata as he hung his head and shook it.
"Heya, Pops, thanks for taking care of Dako for us…" said Lupin as he lifted up the young girl and gave his trademark laugh… The laugh that sounded like nails being run against a chalkboard in Zenigata's mind. "So, Dako, what do you want me to teach you today? How to pick a lock? How to make a quick disguise?"
"If you even—" Zenigata began, only to be met with another long string of that obnoxious laughter.
"Pops, you haven't changed a bit… The U.N. and U.E. pardoned me…. Remember? I'm on your side now, Old Man!"
"But that doesn't make up for the past!" Zenigata growled.
"Please… You grew up in that generation when pot was given out like Halloween candy… You mean to tell me you never broke a single law? That, Zenigata, is something I fail to believe… That must've been a fun generation…"
"We had friggin' bomb raids when I was growing up!" Zenigata shouted. "We hid under our damn desks and waited for the foreigners!"
"So, Natasha, how's life been?" asked Fujiko as she turned her attention away from her husband and Zenigata, choosing to ignore them.
"Not bad…" Natasha admitted with a shrug, "I took up fencing… You?"
"Therapy," Fujiko answered nonchalantly.
"Oh, wow… I didn't know you had it so…"
"No, I give therapy… And guess who my star guinea pig is?" Fujiko smiled and patted Lupin's hand. "By the end of the night we had him crying in the group session about his father…"
"Hey, isn't that supposed to be confidential?" Lupin shouted.
"At least I didn't tell them about the bed wetting thing," Fujiko replied with a shrug.
"F-Fujiko!" Lupin shrieked over Zenigata's laughter.
"There's nothing to be ashamed about, Lover… It's normal for some teenagers…"
"Would you shut up?" Lupin yelled in anger as Zenigata burst into even louder laughter, "At least I didn't have some sick fascination with my mother!"
"Hmm… Denial… I'll have to make a note for that for our next one on one session…" said Fujiko.
"One on one?" Lupin stopped, and smiled, "Oh, baby, it's been forever since we've had on of those! Kheh hee hee hee…."
Fujiko sighed and grabbed him by the tie, and led him towards their gate, "Come on… It's been forever since you've bought me something expensive…"
"Me, too!" Dako chimed in as she walked away with Fujiko and Lupin, who continued to be led along by the tie, as well as led by something else…
"That little creep deserves everything he gets!" Zenigata said with a satisfied smile.
"Hmm… Come to think of it… Fujiko brought up quite an interesting point…" Natasha said to a quickly worried Zenigata as she threw her arms about his neck, "You haven't really done anything for me in a while, Koichi…"
"Heh, wha…?"
"Come on, a new military surplus store opened up and they have these Kevlar vests to die for…"
"And why would you need one of those?" asked Zenigata suspiciously.
"New defense class I'm teaching… Militia tactics…" replied Natasha with a smile, "C'mon, Koichi… It closes at four!"
"Crap…" Zenigata grumbled, "Well, at least she's nothing like the first wife…"
New Orleans:
Fuji stepped off the plane with her carryon, as well as something additional strapped to her back. It was little Namiko, sound asleep and dressed in a pink Hello Kitty one-piece footy outfit. She looked about nervously left and right, and then picked up the rest of her luggage.
"You must be my good luck charm, Nami… No sign of blondie or bro… I guess that's good, though…" Fuji said in a whisper as she rolled the luggage along and hailed a cab. She held Namiko in her lap for the car ride, and grew worried when Nami began to wail.
"Eh, here… Um…" Fuji fumbled as she began to look through her baby bag for a bottle. "Please stop crying…. Um, can't you see that noise makes me feel like taking a gun to my head and dying…" Fuji sand nervously as she found that there was no sign of a bottle.
The cab driver looked at her in his rearview with warm amusement, "Tha a youngin?" he asked in a thick Southern drawl.
"Oh, yeah… I'm still learning how these things work…"
"Soun's like she need a diapah change…"
Fuji looked up in wide-eyed horror. She had forgotten about the diaper-changing aspect of babysitting.
California:
"How in the hell does she carry these things, anyway?" asked Odori as she rubbed her back a little and then adjusted the enlarged bust she was wearing, "How in the hell did I get talked into this, anyway?" she muttered as she looked in the mirror and saw Fuji in the reflection. She could do a decent impersonation of Lupin, but it was still difficult on her back… And her feet… She rubbed her sore ankles that had been subjected to Fuji's rigid high-heels and grumbled once again, "I'll take wooden sandals over these any day!"
"I'm home!" Ryo said in a pant as she tumbled in, "Fuji, sorry I had to run out… I… I needed milk, that's right… Um, Fuji, you okay?"
"Hn?" Odori asked, tilting her head to a side, 'Oh, that's right… Fall into cheerleader mode… Let's hope I can pull this off… Fuji owes me so much for this.'
"Um, Fuji, you okay? You look sort of angry…" said Ryo.
"I'm fine, Ryo-san! Are you sure you weren't at those bars picking up a hot date?" asked Odori in her best Fuji impression. Inwardly she was thinking, 'Someone shoot me now…. Please!'
"Heh, you caught me… Hey, where're Odori's sandals? They're usually by the door…" said Ryo with slight concern.
"Odori went back to spend some time with her family and do some Shinto, Buddhist stuff… She's such a dedicated warrior…" said 'Fuji' with a sigh.
"Really? You usually call her a vindictive bitch…"
"She-I what? Oh my, my, my… That doesn't sound like me at all!" said Odori with a chuckle, 'I'm going to kill her…'
"Um… Yeah… You been drinking again?"
"Yeah, a little…" Odori nodded, 'I so wish… I could drink one of those two-liter sake bottles by myself right now…'
"I'm gonna sleep… Okay, bye!" Ryo waved her off, and began to walk toward her hotel room.
"Why do you smell like Imperial cigarettes? Victor smokes those…"
Ryo gave a stunned look, and said nothing, but exited into her room, "Damn she's good… Even when she's drunk!" Ryo admitted with a whisper to herself.
"Well, that was traumatic… What next?" asked Odori, wiping the sweat from her forehead.
"Fuji," Odori spun around, and saw Heiji standing in front of her, his hands in his pockets and his laptop beneath one arm.
"Of course…" Odori rolled her eyes and rubbed her forehead, "What do you want—I, I mean…. How can I help you, Heiji-chan…"
"Listen, I'm sorry… I know I had a whole night to think this over, and I came to some conclusions…" Heiji sighed heavily, "I've been acting like a total jerk, and I guess it's just the bullheaded Zenigata in me talking…"
"Well, nobody's perfect!" Fuji said in a chipper tone. She went to exit, quickly, but was grabbed by the wrist by Heiji. She looked back at him pleadingly and knew her life was at a new low point.
"Did you… Shrink?" Heiji noticed the slight difference in their heights that hadn't been there before, and he began to take a closer look at her.
"What? Oh, I'm just dieting!"
"Oh… Okay…" Heiji nodded, "So, anyway, I've been a jerk and you've been a jerk, but we can put it behind us now… If you're willing to give it a try, I am, too… I guess your brother's wedding made me realize it… Weird, huh?"
"Oh, yeah, totally…"
"Jeeze, your pulse… You okay, you feel like you're going to have a heart attack!"
"I'm fine… Just runs in my family!" Odori waved this off nervously and gave and girlish chuckle.
"I really worry about you sometimes…" Heiji leaned in and kissed her, and Odori about fainted. She let out a long yell and pushed away, running into the bathroom. Heiji blinked a few times, stunned, and said to the rest of the group as they peeked out to see who had been murdered, "I guess she really is afraid of commitment…"
"No kiddin'," Ally muttered.
Odori, meanwhile, downed about half a bottle of mouthwash, and began to brush her teeth madly, "I know we're not blood related but…. Eck! My brother! Fujiko Lupin, you are going down, bitch…"
New Orleans:
"Hey, c'mon now!" Leo let out a laugh as he tried to focus his camera. Max was a little too busy to worry about this, however. He had resided to leaning next to Leo, and Lupin (formally LeBlanc, formally Lupin) was having difficultly focusing in on his shot of historic building with his family name upon it.
"You look like a stereotypical Asian tourist with that camera," sighed Max as he rested his chin on Leo's shoulder and looked up at the sign. "It's a jewelry store… Go figure…"
"Hhmp. Maybe I could risk heading in there…"
"What, are you looking for a new set of earrings?" asked Max.
"Yes, for my part-time lover I have on the side, Zenigata," Leo sighed, gripping onto his forehead.
"Ha! Made you admit it!" said Max with a triumphant smile.
"Would you get mad at me if I said I married you for your looks?"
"Jeeze… Who leaves the damn hotel room on their honeymoon, anyway?" sighed Max with some sadness as he walked into the store with Leo. Lupin approached the jeweler and removed the pocket watch from his jean pocket, and set it down on the glass countertop.
"How much would it cost to fix it up?" asked Leo as he removed his wallet and pulled out a credit card. The man's eyes lit as he saw the VISA logo on the card, and he asked Leo quickly.
"How soon do you want it?"
"By Saturday… I'm going to give it to my son," replied Leo with a smile.
"Ah…" he nodded, and looked down at Leo's new wedding ring, and then at Max's matching band. He only saw Zenigata from behind, however, "When is your wife expecting?"
"My wife? Oh, I'm separated from the woman… I'm getting the baby though," Leo explained with a smile.
"Ah… I see… Well, you're lucky that this new one's a blond…"
"Yeah, Max is really something else… What, I'm not sure…"
"I could put yours and her name on it… What is it, short for Maxine?"
"Ehhh…" Leo looked at the jeweler a few moments nervously, then at Max, 'Wow, he sort of does look like a woman from behind…' Leo realized as he kept his eyes upon Max.
"How about you just repair it?" asked Leo with a nervous smile.
"Okay… Let's take a look at… My… There's something in here…"
"Say what?" Leo asked, leaning inward to getting a closer inspection.
"It looks like a small note of some sort…" the jeweler took out a piece of paper and unfolded the tiny shred.
"Does it say anything?" asked Leo, looking like a small child with great curiosity.
"Yes… On the day when I am tired and disappointed and weary of life, I will come to you down there, in your little Arab house ... in that little white house, where you are waiting for me... It make any sense to you?"
"Arsène Lupin… From the book The Crystal Stopper…." replied Leo in a numb mumble. He took hold of the paper, and realized it was far from his great-grandfather's handwriting. The paper was possibly only seven or eight years old…
"You all right?" asked the jeweler.
"Leo, you okay?" Max turned about and placed a hand on his partner's shoulder.
The jeweler gave a stunned look in Max's direction, "You're a bloody man!"
Meanwhile, Fuji was walking down the street of the jeweler, lugging her luggage to the hotel next door, "Damn it… No love for the chick with the baby…" she grumbled as she reached the hotel and checked in. She was more than relieved when the bellboy took up her luggage, and she rubbed her hands and removed the baby carrier momentarily to remove her blue jacket, "It's hot out, Nami…" she lifted the young girl back up onto her shoulders, and went on her way in search of Leo and Max.
"Well, Namiko, we're going to take care of the last door in my brother's past, and then I guess I can let go of Ari forever… It won't be easy, though… You were just one baby, though, so you wouldn't understand… I shared a womb with this guy for nine months," Fuji said to the infant, who really could care less but drooled while listening to her babysitter, regardless.
Fuji continued on her long monologue, and changed her plan from looking for her brother and in-law to looking for an ice cream stand. With a backpack of baby supplies, Namiko strapped to her front, and her jacket and purse in one arm, she began to feel more and more like a pack-mule. She was grateful to finally find a vendor, and purchased a vanilla ice cream cone, which she shared with her young accomplice.
"Anyway, like I was saying… Damn this ice cream's great!... Anyhow, this is my wedding gift to my brother… He'll be able to totally let go of his past after this… You know, like the last nail on a box you never want to open again? Like that box full of my pictures as a kid," Fuji shuddered. "I only hope to God that the press doesn't get hold of any of those… Sure, maybe it's vain, but it's who I chose to be… Hopefully you won't be anything like your Auntie Fuji when you grow up… That includes the thieving thing, young lady… My looks are going to waste in this business…"
"Lupin!" she heard in a familiar American accent, and she looked over her shoulder with a smile, "Well, Namiko, I hope you've got your running shoes on, 'cause here's the friggin' cavalry!"
"Max, no, this is Myra and Nina's problem for the next two weeks!" shouted Leo angrily as he ran after Max, who was running after Fuji, who was carrying the puzzled Namiko.
"I don't care! As long as there's a Lupin, there'll be a Zenigata to chase them!" replied Max as he nearly dodged a Cajun funeral procession. Leo wasn't as lucky, and became jumbled in the crowd of people playing instruments or following the black casket with flowers adorning it. The casket fell slid into the street as Leo fell into one of the pallbearers and several cars proceeded to smash into one another. Leo ducked into the first building he could.
It took his eyes a few moments to adjust to the dim lighting… He turned about and jumped a little at the numerous Voodoo decorations covering every inch of the smoky, red-lit bar. He dodged out of the way of the fake (he hoped) shrunken head, and shakily seated himself at a small table.
"Drink, Monsieur?" asked the waitress.
"Um… Wow, bourbon would be really good right now, but I really—"
"One bourbon it is," she said, and soon vanished before Leo could protest any further.
"Great… I'm gonna be friggin' stumbling out of here…" Leo sighed as the bottle arrived. One sip, and next thing he knew, the bottle would have vanished… Then he'd be drunk enough to start on the really hard liquors.
He poured himself a glass and took a small sip of it… It's been so long since he'd had anything like the bourbon… Certainly there'd been champagne at the wedding, but nothing like what his was currently drinking.
His attention was soon drawn to the stage, where the first few notes of a guitar were being strummed. The hollowed out, tinny noise of the strings… It sounded so familiar… Dylan, maybe? Harrison? Clapton….
"Nah, nothing that big…" Leo muttered to himself, and took another sip of his drink. His vision blurred a moment, and he was convinced he was drunk after half a glass when he saw a red-head about his age scale up onto the stage and take her seat at a small stool.
"There's no way that is who I think that is…" Leo muttered as he took another long drink.
The red-head looked up into the audience, and the color drained from her face as she saw Leo in the audience.
She leaned inward and spoke into the microphone quietly, "This next song goes out to an old friend in the audience tonight… It's called Nowhere Man… It's an old Beatles tune, and I hope you all like it…"
"It really is you…" said Leo to himself in stunned awe.