The Two Part One Shot Chapter 2: Forcefully Removed?, a love hina fanfic

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

What In God's Name Just Happened?

Keitaro was busy trying to sort out his feelings as he watched Motoko currently being ravaged (Not that way you perverted weirdoes) by Keen. One side of him wanted to laugh hysterically, one wanted to join Keen in thrashing Motoko, one wanted to do both, and one wanted to get some popcorn.

'God what do I do? I don't want to miss this, but I want popcorn!'

Meanwhile, Seta had fallen asleep right in front of his booming stereo system. How that is possible, I do not know and I'm pretty sure that I don't want to know. Maybe he had a concussion. Oh well, I was going to kill him off anyway. Oh look, a shiny nickel aaaaall the way over there. I'll be right back.

The Next Day 8:00 A.M.

Oh hey, sorry I was gone so long. A bird stole the nickel I was looking for, so I had to chase it down. But by the time I got it back, it was all dirty, so I had to hunt down the bird and give it back. Let's see; where were we. Oh right, sorry but you missed the coolest part in the entire story. Oh well. That morning, Motoko lay in bed with a high fever. Keen sat in the living room while everyone was in Motoko's room trying to figure out what the hell just happened

'Is it all that hard to recognize a curse nowadays? God, all I did was reduce her breast size about 8cm. Or did I give her cancer? Oh well, I'm sure it was just the breast thing. I wonder what's on T.V. No wait, I can't do this. I'm supposed to be helping Keitaro, not make him utterly and indescribably evil. Okay, so I pretty much hypnotized Motoko into thinking that it was Keitaro who thrashed her right Motoko's shadow?'

'Right; that voice changing thing worked on her weak and fragile mind.'

'Why is her mind so weak and fragile?... This is new. Her own shadow is talkin shit bout her'

'Because she lost all that she held dear to her because of men, and so, the thought of you beating her made her mentally susceptible to all kinds of indescribably horrible dreams and realities'

'Oh I see; I guess I over did it then.'

'Hmm…Yes, you did.'

'Should I apologize?'

'She would probably kill herself before you have a chance'

'That's true; Shadow, to my blade.'

Motoko's shadow disappeared into the hilt of Keen's blade. Every time he absorbed someone's shadow, he gained the ability to copy one aspect of the person. For example, Keen copied Keitaro's voice as he would need it later on. As for Motoko, what he took from her is a surprise. Keen walked up to the roof with his blade and surveyed the area. There was a large concentration of spirits in this dorm. Most of them looked like they manifested off Keitaro's overflowing chi.

'That reminds me; I left my other blade back in America. Oh well, as long as no evil people find it, then all is well.'

Keen sheathed his blade and held the scabbard in the air.

"Suspend"

The sword, scabbard and all floated in mid air. Keen pulled on a pair of leggings and gauntlets and stood din front of the sword.

"Attack"

The sword instantly unsheathed itself and the blade and scabbard began to swing at him as if they were held by something invisible. The scabbard struck with a force paralleled to Tsuruko. Keen's muscles strained against the steel-lined scabbard's strikes. Then, as if to join in the beating, the actual blade started swinging toward him. This was the actual challenge, dodging the blade while trying not to leave any vital spots open for a rough attack from the possessed scabbard that had just struck his ass.

"Aaah GOD! MY ASS! STOP!"

However the blade and scabbard did not stop pummeling him. The scabbard repeatedly pummeled his ass among other very sensitive things. After an hour or two of ass pummeling, his blade stopped only to chase some nearby pigeons.

Keen walked down the hallway, his body glistening with sweat, when all of a sudden he was met with a moderately (by Keen standards) strong attack that sent him flying through the hallway and smashing into the wall.

"Ahhhh, Dude! What the fuck!"

Keen rubbed the point of impact on his chest as he leaned against the wall. The assailant's footsteps were heard growing ever closer and Keen had still not recovered, but he had recovered fast enough to see an arm rearing back for a punch. At that moment, the severely smashed wall he had been leaning on had chosen that moment to cave. Half of Keen's body had been left floating in mid air while the other half had been pretty busy keeping its upper half from falling into the hot springs below. Keen recovered as quickly as he could to see a mess of blondish hair pool under water in the hot springs.

"Stupid-ass blonde chick………"

Keen felt around his back to feel a large .4/2 shard of wood protruding from his bloodied shirt; he grasped at it, sending small waves of pleasure through his spine. Why it was pleasurable, he did not know why. He slowly pulled the large shard from his back, relishing the moments of pure bliss. It felt as if all of his nerves were getting individual massages.

When the shard was pulled out, he looked at the torn flesh hanging from its jagged edges. The flesh on his back felt cold due to the sudden exposure to the dangers of infection in the germ ridden air.

"Aww crap….Hmmm I wonder if there is anything to eat in this place."

Keen walked downstairs and past Motoko's bedroom where shouts and cries of disgust could be heard when Motoko threw up on half of the entire group.

"I guess that blonde chick was lucky that she fell in the hot springs….She could have gotten covered in partially digested fish ….or is it chicken……or beef.. …..no wait, it smells like fish…..mmmm fish…"

The wound in Keen's stomach was rippling as if it had a mind of its own; his nerves were wiggling out in open space as if they were worms. Anyone who saw him would think that he was of the legion of the undead. Keen let out one of his trademark semi-evil laughs at that thought. Upon entering the kitchen, he was apprehended by what looked like a really big metallic turtle. After browsing through Keitaro's memories, he quickly noticed it to be a 'mecha tama' created by the idiotic know it all. The turtle proceeded to dangle him in the air by his left ankle with what looked like a giant fork or a four pronged trident. The giant two-ton turtle dragged him up the stairs, his head hitting every step along the way and dropped him in front of Motoko's room. There was an uncomfortable silence among all of the room's current inhabitants; even Tama felt uncomfortable as she shifted in her shell; after ten minutes of uncomfortable silence Keen decided to break the ice.

"So, anyone see the game last night? That was awesome especially when the guy did that thing with the ball and that thing happened then the guy got drunk and did that thing and that thing fell and it tipped over the knives and that thing happened and then the blood got all over that one guy and then he went crazy with blood lust and the ref got hit in the balls? That was hilarious."

Keitaro could do naught but break out laughing. Soon Shinobu started giggling, Su asked if refs were tasty, then Haruka started smiling which meant that she was laughing hysterically, and from then on everyone couldn't stop laughing. Keen reached for his sword and hacked the giant turtle in half. Keen walked upstairs to see a sign on the sliding door that read, "Your bags are downstairs" and "P.S. - Don't ever come back"

"Oh well, this sucks"

Keen walked downstairs to see that his bags were hastily packed and his boxers were in an air-locked container next to a hazmat suit that somebody forgot to put away.

'I wonder why that thing has three eyes on it….Oh wait on second thought I don't wonder why"

Keen walked out of the front door and looked back to see Keitaro flying through the roof

"You pitiful idiot…."

'Prison gates won't open up for me
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'
Oh, I reach for you
Well I'm terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can't hold my soul in
All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me

Heaven's gates won't open up for me
With these broken wings I'm fallin'
And all I see is you
These city walls ain't got no love for me
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
Come please I'm callin'
And all I need from you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

Hurry I'm fallin'

All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'
And oh, I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

Hurry I'm fallin'

Seven Days Later : Time Unknown

Keen sat in the Japanese subway sitting next to his dirty and severely damaged tent, one of his favorite winter coats wrapped around him to shield himself from the cold winter air that gusted throughout the subway on occasion. His FIFA '05 cap on the ground with several 1 yen coins inside.