This is my first real FMA fic; it's quick but kind of funny. I just got the idea and decided to get it all down on virtual paper. For the record, there are spoilers, so if you don't want to know what happens in the end of the series, don't read on. The spoiler will begin now.

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Ok, I know I said there would be spoilers, but still, this might be considered a spoiler. Al did get his body back and I know that Edward got stuck on the other side of the gate…but let's pretend that none of that happened. Let's just, for a brief shining moment, pretend that Ed used the Philosophers stone, got Al back and that's it. The stone, after that is gone; poof gone, no more. Ok? Let's begin.

Chapter 1

Monday mornings were never anything of any good. Everyone was tired from enjoying the weekend and they were now forced into the same old stuffy uniforms day after day. Until the weekend would once again free them from their duties they were stuck being colonel's, lieutenants', and sergeants.

All the soldiers of central weren't particularly lively on this day, even Sergeant Denny Brosh; this day especially he was not up to par. Over the weekend he had experienced some events that took its toll on him. Not just the casual drink, a hangover would have been an improvement to how he was feeling. It was because of Second Lieutenant Maria Ross, the woman he absolutely adored.

On Saturday, he saw her with another man in the dorms, entering a room and then not leaving for over an hour. He suspected a one night stand; he was inevitably shattered on the inside. On top of that, he was familiar with the man she was with, quite familiar with him, Denny was heartbroken.

"Mmmm…" He groaned to himself, or so he thought. At the moment he heaved his sigh, Mustang's door opened revealing him holding a rather large cup of coffee. Roy raised an eyebrow.

"Sergeant Brosh, what seems to be the trouble?" Denny looked up at him and then shook his head.

"Haa…nothing. Unless you can turn back time, nothing that can be fixed." Roy eyed the potted plant placed conveniently placed at the side of the door slyly, checking down the hall to making sure no one was looking he dumped the cold coffee into the ugly plant. He then extended his arm welcoming in Denny.

"I can't stand working with people who are depressed, let's see what we can do." Truth, Roy was just trying to be nosy. With Ross not at his side, it seemed oddly obvious that they were in some sort of tiff. Denny probably knew that Roy was thinking this, but why the hell not; it wasn't like he had anything else better to do.

Denny proceeded into the room and before him were Warrant Officer Falman, Sergeant Major Fuery, Second Lieutenant Breda and Havoc. All seemed well except for Havoc, who instead of having a cigarette hanging out of his mouth had a rather mean looking frown and his arms were tightly folded. He looked pissed; maybe he was having girl trouble as well.

"Alright, let's hear it." Roy, as if he knew what Denny was going to say, folded his arms and waited. Everyone else encouraged him.

"We're all men here." Breda stated. "Out with it." The rest listened carefully. Denny lowered his head.

"I saw Maria with another guy on Saturday, I'm positive they slept together." He sighed. "I know she's a grown woman who can make he own choices, but the guy who she was with was younger than her. I'm just depressed, that's all." Havoc cracked his knuckles.

"Well learn to deal with it!" He demanded while pounded his fist on the table. "We all have our troubles with women, they like you, they sort of like you, they don't like you, they'll only like you if you quit smoking, even though you're perfect in all other aspects," His voice continually got louder whilst approaching the and of his sentence. "No matter what you do the only thing she wants is the thing you can't do! GAH!" Havoc mussed his hair and rested his elbows down on the table. Roy raised an eyebrow and gave Havoc a mild 'not this again' look.

Roy reached into his desk and pulled out a little rubber bag filled with sand. "Havoc!" He tossed it to him. "Squeeze that until you stop stressing." And Havoc did squeeze that poor little stress ball to the point it bubbled out from between his fingers.

"It won't work…" He called down as he tightened his grip. "Hehe…Squeeze Squeeze." Denny watched Havoc torture the little ball.

"Don't mind him." Roy coaxed. "He's just going through nicotine withdrawal. He's been like that since Saturday night." Denny returned his gaze to the colonel.

"I see…" Denny smiled half heartedly.

"Everyone has their tiffs with women, there's no reason to be depressed for days over it. Just move on." Sergeant Brosh still seemed saddened by what he saw on Saturday.

"Well, I guess you're right…I suppose I wouldn't have been so bothered by it if I didn't know who she was with." Roy was intrigued.

"Who was it?" Falman, Kane and Breda crowded around.

"Yeah, come on spill, who was it. Do we know him?" Falman pried.

"Now ladies, let's not gossip." Roy said smugly from behind his desk, sipping his newly found cup of coffee. They snickered at the comment.

"Who was it?" Kane leaned ever so closer. Denny swallowed hard.

"Uhh, he might be upset if I said anything." Denny battled it over in his mind on whether or not he should tell.

"Nonsense, he's not here, I doubt he'll care." Mustang once again coaxed him.

"It was…Ed Elric." Roy nearly spit his coffee halfway across the room.

"WHAT!" They all exclaimed and jumped back.

"What?" Havoc followed up with a small disbelieving exclamation followed by a small pop. They all turned their eyes in the direction of Havoc. The left side of his face was twitching and there was sand pouring out from his clasped right fist. He then clenched his fist even tighter. "I can't take it!" He stood up from his chair and knocked it over. "Even the kid's getting laid! It's not fair! I hate you all! I'm going home!" With that said he stormed out of the room brushing his hand off all the way out, trailing little bits of sand the entire way.

"I suppose that was a reasonable reaction." Roy leaned forward in his desk. "Are you sure you saw Edward?" He nodded at the colonel. "Oh my…this isentirely unexpected…." Everyone sat in silence. No one would have expected something like this from Maria; Edward maybe, but not Maria.

"What makes you so sure of this?" Falman questioned.

"Saturday, well, the night of banquette, I saw her going back to his room with her arm wrapped around his waist. He had his arm around her shoulder and they were talking and laughing." He began to get all choked up. "Then, he opened the door to his room and pulled her inside, all the while laughing and carrying on. I left in a bit of a fuss and when I came back an hour later she was just leaving the room, breathing heavy, sweating and she was tucking her shirt in, fixing her hair, her coat was off and all signs point to one thing."

"Maria's a pedophile!" Kane exclaimed, and Roy, once again chocked on his coffee.

"You people are trying to kill me." He placed his cup down. "He's almost half her age." They all sat in silence trying to absorb all the information. Breaking the silence Breda spoke.

"I always thought that Edward was going with that little blond girl, Winry." Denny shrugged.

"Me too…and maybe he still is." Roy stood up and crossed the room to view the poor massacred stress ball. Picking up its remains and shaking out the few grains of sand that remained. "Looks like I'm going to have to speak with Mr. Elric. Don't worry; I won't mention your name Brosh; we very well could be dealing with statutory rape." Roy glared off into the distance in his usual manner. "I'll get the truth out of him. Leave it to me." Denny sighed and smiled.

"I really hope this is just one big misunderstanding. Thank you sir." He saluted the colonel and headed out of the room, passing Hawkeye on the way out he smiled and nodded to her in greeting, she returned the gesture. She scanned the room; everyone seemed to be deep in thought.

"What's going on?" She had her arms folded around some papers and files that she was carrying. Placing them down on the edge of Roy's desk she asked again. "Well, are you guys going to say anything?" Roy took a deep breath.

"…Hawkeye, you wouldn't happen to know where Second lieutenant Ross was on Saturday would you." Hawkeye thought to herself for a moment.

"Well, I was with her practically the whole night. I remember Edward came over to the table where we were sitting and he asked if someone would give him a ride home because he was getting sick or something. I believe Maria was gone getting a drink at the time. I told him that none of us were in any condition to drive…and I don't recall seeing him anywhere afterwards. I think he muttered something about walking home. So I stayed there with Maria and I guess he waked home." There was a pause. The stories fit, if Maria was still at the banquette. "Why?" Roy's expression changed to serious.

"If we can get a little more information but we think that Maria spent the night with Edward." Riza's eyes widened.

"No way, that's--Wait, I remember something else." Everyone turned to Riza. "About twenty minutes after Edward left I had remembered that Maria was supposed to be the designated driver and told her that Edward was walking home. She seemed a little concerned and she left after him." A dead silence fell over the room. "I don't think that she would do something like that." Breda shrugged.

"The stories match up then." She turned to him. "Sergeant Brosh saw them go into his room together. Apparently he pulled her in there and everything." Fuery straightened his glasses.

"Or was he pushed in?" He pointed out; the same silence once again was thick; you could cut it with a knife. "We should really talk to Edward if we really want to start accusing people of rape." They nodded.

"Good idea, Riza, how was Maria acting when she returned to the Banquette, I recall her driving you and a few others home." Riza blushed.

"So, that's how I got home." She stated in a way that showed that she had drank too much to remember anything at all after that. Roy sighed.

"Oh well. We'll just have to rely on what Edward has to say."

I'll update once I get sufficent reviews, tell me what you think.