Disclaimer: Don't own anything, all characters go to Square-Enix
Pairing: Tseng/Elena, implied Reno/Elena, Reno/Rufus (it's accidental, and Elena's imagination)
Warnings: OOCness, probably
Note: Inspired by School Rumble. Italics are Elena's imagination.

Reno sighed as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. He walked to the cafeteria, wanting to get something to eat. After grabbing a cup of Ramen, he sat down.

'I want to confess to Elena that I love her…. But I don't want to mess up….' Reno thought as he slurped his noodles. 'Not to mention that Tseng loves Elena too…. But if I confess, maybe she'll love me too!'

Reno pounded the table with his fist. "THAT'S IT! WHAT A GREAT IDEA! I'M SO SMART THAT I SHOCK MYSELF!"

"Reno, what are you talking about?" Rude asked as he sat down next to Reno. The red head blinked before answering, "Well, I am going to confess to Elena that I love her. Then maybe she'll love me back!"

Rude munched on his French fries, "I don't think that is a good idea…but if that is what you really want to do…."

"OF COURSE IT IS! ……By the way, do you know any good tips on how I should confess to her?" Reno asked his friend.

Rude appeared to be in great thought. "Hmm, you should ask her to the movies…then eat at a restaurant…"

"THAT'S A GOOD IDEA RUDE! THANKS A LOT MAN!" Reno shouted as he got up and ran out of the cafeteria.

Rude sighed and mentally prayed that Reno won't do something stupid.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Later that day

Reno whistled happily as he held the two tickets in his pocket for the movie, Titanic. It was a very long and romantic movie, a great time to get close to Elena and confess to her. Then after the confession, they are going to a 5 star restaurant, where he reserved two seats just for them!

'This is such a great plan! Elena will surely be impressed and love me after this!' Reno thought as he looked for the blonde Turk. After walking for a while, Reno saw Elena standing in the middle of the hallway.

"Elena!" Reno called out as he stopped next to her. Elena blinked before greeting the other Turk.

"Is there something you need, Reno?"

Reno coughed, trying to hold his blush in. "Well, not particularly…" He turned away from Elena and took the tickets out from his pocket. 'Come on Reno, you can do this!' He thought to himself.

"I was wondering if you would go out with me to the movies and a dinner afterwards!" Reno shouted as he turned around to face Elena.

…Only to see Rufus Shinra where she was standing, looking at him with a very weird expression.

Crickets chirp.

Chirp. Chirp. Chirp.

Reno slowly looked past the President, to see Elena, chatting to Tseng, completely ignoring him.

"Of course Tseng! I would love to see Titanic with you tonight! And you're treating me to dinner too? Thank you so much!" Elena happily replied while the black haired Turk nodded.

Reno felt that he was falling down into an endless black hole. 'NO WAY!' He thought while trying not to sulk in depression.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Later in the movie

Reno felt like crying as he sipped his soda, watching Tseng and Elena kiss, only two seats in front of him.

"Reno, cheer up, if you speak literally, you did go to the movies with Elena." Rufus said as he ate a chocolate bar, sitting right next to Reno.

Reno just gave his boss a very dry look, "You didn't have to come…."

"I figured why not…I get to bug you…and you did ask me…. Besides, I didn't have to pay for anything." Rufus answered. Reno felt his eye twitch and punched Rufus in the back, making him choke on his chocolate bar.

"That was an accident! It's not like I wanted to go out with you." Reno huffed and continued to sulk in his chair.

"I'm hurt." Rufus replied sarcastically as he threw his wrapper at Reno. Reno sighed as the wrapper hit him, but soon grinned as he looked at the giant tub of popcorn that Rufus was eating out of.

"Hey boss, want to throw popcorn at Tseng?" Reno asked with an evil glint. Rufus shrugged before nodding, "Why not…. This movie bores me…"

Elena sighed happily as she broke her kiss with Tseng. "I can't be any happier than right now," she said to him.

Tseng smiled at her and leaned in again, to kiss the blonde Turk. But before he could, he felt popcorn hit is head from above. The black haired man blinked before looking behind him, seeing Reno and Rufus with popcorn in their hands.

Tseng felt his eye twitch. Elena looked at him, worried, "Tseng, is something wrong?"

"No, it's nothing…Let's just watch the movie." The older Turk replied as he tried to ignore the popcorn that was pelting down on his head.

>>>>>>>>>

After the movie.

Elena blinked as she saw Tseng walk towards the restaurant, with a dark expression on his face. A dark rain cloud seemed to be over his head as he thought about all the popcorn hitting his head.

Elena walked over to him, while plucking a few popcorn pieces from his head. "Tseng, why is there popcorn in your hair?"

Tseng gave Elena a weak smile before answering, "It was just a couple of idiots back there…don't worry about it, let's just go to dinner."

The blonde nodded happily, "Alright, let's go!" Then they both walked into the restaurant.

Reno shoved his hands into his pockets as he glared at Tseng's back from behind a bush. 'This is war, DOT-MAN!' The Turk thought as he climbed out of the bush.

Rufus just sighed next to him, "Reno, let's go to the dinner…."

Reno nodded and grabbed Rufus' arm, "LET'S GO THEN!" And with that he ran through the doors, while dragging Rufus behind him.

>>>>>>>>>>>

Inside the Restaurant

Elena gazed at Tseng as they sat down at their table. 'He's so hansom, professional, polite, and strong…I really admire him…' Elena thought as she looked through the menu. Tseng looked through his menu, not noticing at how the blonde was staring at him with stars in her eyes.

A couple tables away from Tseng, Reno was crushing his menu with his hands as he glared at the black haired Turk from behind.

"Reno, stop crushing your menu and glaring at Tseng…. Everyone is staring at us." Rufus said with annoyance in his voice. Reno blinked and looked around, noticing everyone staring at them.

"Are those two together?"

"They look like it."

"I wonder who is on top when they do IT."

Rufus and Reno then gave everyone a glare, which made them, shut up and go back to their own business. After ordering their meals, Reno just gazed dully at his glass, trying to ignore all of the women staring at them with indecent thoughts in their minds.

Rufus just drank his water, ignoring all of the stares.

After Tseng and Elena ordered for their food, the older Turk held Elena's hand with his and smiled. "Elena…I'm glad that you came with me."

Elena smiled back and nodded. "Thank you for asking me out today."

After the food came, Tseng and Elena started to eat, thoroughly enjoying the food.

Reno just stabbed his steak over and over again with his knife, 'Mr. Slick is starting to really piss me off!'

Rufus calmly took a bite out of his rice, "Reno, just eat your dinner so that I can leave without everyone getting the wrong idea."

The red head sighed and ate his dinner, while glaring at Tseng the whole time.

Tseng: 1 Reno: 0

>>>>>>>>>

The Next Afternoon in the Cafeteria

Reno sighed as he poked his hamburger. Yesterday turned out to be a disaster, not only did he not get to go with Elena, he went with his own boss! Then to top it all off, Elena went with Tseng and they kissed!

The Turk sighed and wondered why all of these bad things happen to him.

"Reno? What happened?" Rude asked as he sat down next to Reno. "Didn't your date with Elena go well?"

"No…Cause she went with Tseng…" Reno muttered.

"Then whom did you go with?" Rude asked as he drank his lemonade.

"I went with Rufus…."

Rude spluttered his lemonade out on his lunch.

"It was an accident…" Reno whined as he sulked on his seat. "I'm not going to try any more dates…I'll get screwed over."

"Hm…. Try giving Elena a box of chocolates and flowers…. All women like that." Rude suggested to his friend.

Reno instantly looked up at Rude. "THAT'S A GREAT IDEA RUDE! THANKS A LOT MAN!" And with that, Reno ran out of the cafeteria.

Rude sighed and hoped for the best.

>>>>>>>>>>

Later on

Reno whistled as he carried his box of chocolates and a rose behind his back. Today is the day when he confesses his love to Elena!

'Nothing can possibly go wrong this time!' Reno thought as he finally found Elena getting a soda from a vending machine.

"Elena!" Reno called out as he stopped by the blonde Turk. Elena blinked before smiling at him, "Good afternoon Reno, is there something you wanted to tell me?"

Reno blushed and looked at his feet, still keeping the gifts behind his back. 'Come on Reno, this is your chance! I'm not going to screw up this time!'

The red head brought his gifts from behind his back and brought them up, still looking at the ground. "For you!" Reno shouted, hoping that Elena will take them

He felt his gifts be taken from his hands and Reno looked at the ground with joy. 'I FINALLY DID IT!' Reno thought as he looked up to smile widely at Elena.

Only it was not Elena, it was Rufus Shinra tossing the rose up and down while eating a piece of chocolate.

Crickets chirp.

Chirp. Chirp. Chirp.

Reno felt the color drain from his face as he slowly looked past Rufus, to see Elena getting a violet and a box of chocolates from Tseng.

"Thank you so much for the gifts Tseng! Violet is my favorite flower." Elena said as she smiled at Tseng.

"It was no trouble Elena…I'm just glad you liked the gifts." Tseng replied, looking pleased with himself

Reno slowly looked back at Rufus, feeling that his age been sucked out. There was a depressed aura around Reno as he slouched. 'WHY!' Reno thought miserably.

Before walking off, Reno saw a box of chocolates being offered in front of his face. The red head looked up, and saw Rufus offering the chocolate to him.

"…Here, it looks like you need it." Rufus said. Reno dully took the chocolate box and placed a piece in his mouth.

"Good chocolate…" Reno mumbled, while sulking. Rufus rolled his eyes and gave Reno his rose back.

"I'm flattered Reno, but I don't swing that way." Rufus teased, fully knowing that Reno meant to give it to Elena.

Reno twitched and hit the President over the head with the box of chocolates. The Turk stomped off, heading towards the roof.

Rufus rubbed his head and sighed, "He didn't have to waste all of that chocolate…." The blonde said as he looked at the wasted chocolate.

Tseng: 2 Reno: 0

>>>>>>>>>

On the Roof

Reno sighed as he started to tear the parts of the rose. "She loves me….She loves me not…. She loves me….She loves me not…. She loves me….She loves me not…."

"Reno, what are you doing?" Rude asked as he stared at his friend who was destroying the rose.

Reno dully looked at Rude, "I bought Elena a rose and a box of chocolate like you said I should.."

"But…" Rude pressed on.

"I accidentally gave them to Rufus!" Reno moaned as he pulled at his hair.

Rude felt his sunglasses fall slightly.

"I was about to give them to her, but she walked off, where Tseng gave her a violet and a box of chocolates…I don't want to give any more gifts…I'll screw up somehow." Reno muttered.

Rude blinked, "Reno…why don't you write a letter to Elena expressing your love?"

Reno's eyes widened, "THAT'S A WONDERFUL IDEA RUDE! THANKS A LOT PAL!" And with that, Reno ran back into the elevator.

Rude looked at the sky and hoped Reno will succeed this time.

>>>>>>>>

At his apartment

Reno hummed as he looked at his two letters that he wrote. One was to Rufus, saying that he was going to quit the Turks if Elena hated him:

I might quit the Turks if Elena hates me…so take this as my resign document…

It was a drastic measure, but Reno really didn't have any intention to quit the Turks, even if she did hate him. It short, it was a bluff that Rufus would probably figure out in two seconds flat.

The other letter was to Elena.

I love you…since the first time I laid my eyes on you…it took a while for me to say this…but I like your personality! Plus, you're really cute!

Love,
Reno

Reno nodded to himself, both letters sound great. He placed each letter into the envelope that was designated to, one to Elena and the other, Rufus.

"Alright! I'm going to send these letters to their offices today and by tomorrow, they will get the letters and Elena will surely know how I feel about her!" Reno said as he walked to the post office. After he dropped the letters off, Reno walked back to the Shin-Ra HQ, hoping that tomorrow will come soon.

>>>>>>>

The Next Afternoon

Reno was walking to the cafeteria when he saw Elena, looking at him with sadness in her eyes.

'Ah crap…that's not a good sign.' Reno thought as he walked to the blonde. Elena gently placed a hand on Reno's shoulder,

"Reno…I don't know what to say…. That was very shocking to me…"

Reno couldn't take the pressure any longer. "…. What do you think Elena? What is your response?"

"I don't agree with you Reno…you should never quit the Turks, you're a great member. Besides, I don't hate you." Elena said as she smiled at him.

Reno blinked rapidly, 'What is going on…' He thought to himself. Elena handed him the letter that she got.

The letter that was his resign document, not the confession that he wrote.

'WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME!' Reno thought as felt himself going down the drain in circles. Elena blinked before smiling at him,

"Reno, I would miss you if you quit…So don't go, okay?" And with that, Elena walked away from the other Turk.

The red head blinked before cheering mentally. 'YES! I DID IT! SHE ADMITTED THAT SHE CARES FOR ME! A POINT TO RENO!'

Before Reno walked off to celebrate, he realized one thing. 'Wait…If Elena got my resign paper…Then that means…Rufus got my love confession!'

Reno's face went pale, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He shouted out and ran towards the elevator, wanting to get that letter before the President reads it.

>>>>>>>>>

At the President's office

Reno panted as he finally reached the office. Rufus was looking at him as if he was an extremely weird person. The blonde apparently snapped out of it and walked over to Reno.

"Reno, this is your mission for today." Rufus said as he handed Reno the papers for the mission. Reno dully nodded before putting the papers away in his jacket.

"And about that letter…" Rufus started to say.

"Shut up or I'll kill you." Reno grumbled, not caring that he just threatened the President. Rufus rolled his eyes and replied,

"Don't worry Reno, I know you meant to give it to Elena…I just put your confession down my shredder."

"Thanks…" Reno mumbled as he slowly walked out of the room.

Tseng: 2 Reno: -1

>>>>>>>>>

At the lounge

Reno was sulking on the couch as he stared at his cup of coffee. Every single time he tried to confess to Elena, something bad happens and all of his confessions go to Rufus.

'I must have the worst luck in the world….' Reno thought.

"Reno, what happened?" Rude asked as he sat next to Reno.

"I wrote a letter that confesses my feelings…but…"

"But?" Rude asked as he took a bite out of his sandwich.

"I accidentally sent it to Rufus…" Reno said.

Rude choked on his sandwich. "Why me…" Reno groaned and laid his head on the table. "I'm not going to send any more letters…"

Rude rubbed his chin, "How about you bring a special lunch to work tomorrow? Then you ask Elena to eat lunch with you on the roof…. I heard she liked sushi a lot."

Reno blinked rapidly, "THAT IS AN AWESOME IDEA RUDE! THANKS!" And with that, the red head ran out of the room.

Rude just took another bite from his sandwich.

>>>>>>>

At the sushi bar

Reno smiled as bought the most expensive plate of sushi from the chefs. It was freshly made with the most rare and expensive type of fish out there. It cost a total of 1000 gil, but Reno didn't mind that much.

'Tomorrow, I'm going to eat this with Elena, and she'll love the sushi I got for her!' Reno thought as he walked towards his apartment.

'Nothing can possibly go wrong this time! I'll just place this sushi platter on her desk, and she will surely see it while I wait around the corner! This will work!' Reno thought to himself.

>>>>>>>>

The next afternoon

Reno grinned as he placed the sushi platter on Elena's desk. He quickly hid behind the couch, waiting for Elena to come in and see the sushi. A few minutes went by before he saw Tseng enter the room with a sushi platter in his hand.

Reno's jaw dropped, 'That dot-man is taking all of my ideas!' he thought furiously in his mind. Tseng waited by Elena's desk, not noticing the other sushi plate already on it. A moment later, Elena walked in, surprised to see Tseng there.

"Tseng! What a pleasant surprise!" Elena said as she saw Tseng walk to her. "I been waiting for you…want to eat lunch together on the roof today? We'll eat the sushi plate together." Tseng responded.

Elena nodded eagerly and the two walked out and towards the roof. Reno felt his jaw drop, the blonde Turk didn't even notice the sushi platter on her desk cause Tseng was blocking the view!

'DARN IT ALL TO HELL!' Reno thought as he slammed his head on the table.

"This sushi is really good…. High class." Reno heard someone say as he slowly looked up to see who was eating the sushi he bought.

Rufus looked back at Reno and blinked, "Is this your lunch, Reno?" Reno just dully nodded, not surprised to see the President there.

"It was for Elena…But she didn't see it…Plus, Tseng got to her before me, and they went to the roof to eat his sushi platter.

Rufus just nodded, not surprised in what happened.

>>>>>>>>

At the roof

Tseng fed Elena the sushi slowly, while gazing down at Midgar. The other Turk smiled after finishing the sushi, it tasted so good!

"Thank you Tseng…" Elena said as she laid her head on Tseng's shoulder. Tseng nodded before taking a bite out of his sushi.

>>>>>>

Back To Reno

Reno and Rufus was lying against the wall with the sushi plate between them.

"You are okay with this, Reno?" Rufus asked as he took another piece.

Reno just dully nodded, "It's okay…it is too late to give this sushi platter to her…and I can't eat it all by myself…"

Rufus just nodded and took another piece. Reno wondered what he did to deserve this kind of punishment.

Tseng: 3 Reno: -1

>>>>>>>>>

At the cafeteria

Reno just stared at his tray emptily; he pretty much has given up on his confession. Rude saw his friend and sat down next to him, worried.

"Reno…What went wrong this time?"

"Tseng gave the sushi before me…so they ate at the roof…. While Rufus and I ate it together." Reno explained while sulking.

Rude just raised an eyebrow. "I have one last advice, Reno."

"What is it?"

"Just confess to her directly, then kiss her." Rude advised. Reno blinked before getting up,

"THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN! I'LL DO IT!" Reno shouted as he ran out of the room, looking for Elena. For the red head, this will be the last attempt in trying his confession.

Rude just took a sip of his soda.

>>>>>>>>>

At the hallway

Reno was walking through the hallway, looking for the blonde Turk. 'She has to be around here somewhere…' he thought as he looked around. Finally, he saw blonde hair disappear into the room just a few yards away from him.

'I'm coming, Elena!' Reno thought as he ran towards the room. He closed his eyes, grabbed the blonde's shoulder, pulled then pushed the body into the wall.

"I love you!" Reno shouted with his eyes closed and kissed the blonde fully on the lips. The mouth tasted like sushi, no surprise since Elena just ate some with Tseng. He felt the body struggle against him, but Reno didn't want the kiss to end. So he pressed harder into the blonde's body while tilting the chin up to let the kiss deepen.

Reno heard a noise from a camera and a small chuckle from his right. The red head Turk blushed before opening his eyes, looking at the person who interrupted his moment, it's not like he wanted to have everyone watch him.

Reno's eyes met the smiling expression of Elena with a camera in her hand. "Reno….I had no idea…But now it make sense…I'm happy for you two."

Wait. A. Second.

If Elena was right there…whom was he kissing just now….?

Pale with sweat rolling down his face, Reno slowly looked back to the person he was kissing, and only met the angry eyes of one Rufus Shinra.

Then everywhere in the world, all noise and movement stopped. After a few seconds, time seemed to resume again.

The President was red in the cheeks, most likely from anger and embarrassment and seemed to be out of breath.

Reno scooted to the opposite wall from his boss, "L-look Rufus, it was an accident! It's not like I wanted to kiss you!"

If looks could kill, Reno would be dead 100 times over and be reborn as a rock. Before Rufus could go over to Reno, the President and the older Turk heard a small squeal from Elena.

"Yaoi! I'm going to copy this picture and give one to Tifa and Yuffie!" Elena said as she hugged her camera. "Then I'm going to post it over the Internet and the Shin-Ra website!"

Reno's and Rufus' faces both went pale at what Elena said. The female Turk ignored them and let her imagination soar.

"Reno…I love you…" Rufus gasped as he looked up at the red head Turk. Reno smiled down and stroked a stay lock of hair from his boss. "Same here…Rufus." Reno responded and leaned down to the president. Rufus grabbed Reno's shoulders down and their lips touched-

Elena's eyes took a daze look as she got a bloody nose from her imagination. Before her imagination could continue, she saw Reno and Rufus walking towards her, intending to destroy the camera.

The young Turk gulped before running off.

"COME BACK HERE!" Reno shouted as he ran towards Elena.

"I'm going to lower your paycheck if you don't destroy that camera!" Rufus yelled, following Reno.

Elena giggled, "No way! You two looked too cute like that!"

Reno just groaned, wondering why Elena paid attention to him only when he was kissing other men.

Tseng: 3 Reno: -100000000000

>>>>>>>>>>

At the cafeteria

"Just confess to her directly, then kiss her." Rude advised as he drank his soda. Tseng nodded, "Thanks Rude, for the advice."

Rude nodded back.

"The advice for giving gifts, going out on dates, and eating lunch with her all worked out well." Tseng said.

"No problem." Rude responded.

END