Hi everyone! Just a quick note to tell you that this is the last chapter of the first part of the story, and therefore I will take a break of a week or two between the two parts. Anyways, enjoy the chapter!

Cassie was awakened by hands touching her very gently, barely brushing her skin. She opened her eyes, confused, to find the face of a woman leaning over her, bandaging her wounds. Another younger girl was cleaning her face with a cloth, wiping away the blood that was staining her. She cringed when she saw her awake, and Cassie caught sight of Lexa, sitting in a chair across from the bed, facing her, her mask of impassiveness on her face.

She was in Anya's room.

Seeing her awake, Lexa sat up slightly.

"Thank you," she said to the two girls. "You can leave us."

In silence, the woman and the girl gathered their things and left the room, closing the door behind them. Cassie tried to sit up, but a severe pain in her ribs prevented her from doing so. She winced, managed to sit up painfully, huffing to ease the pain.

Lexa watched her do it without a word.

Abruptly, Cassie remembered the fight, Magnus' refusal to kill her and the fit of despair that had knocked her out. Eyes wide, she turned to Lexa.

"What am I doing here?"

"You passed out from fatigue from crying," Lexa replied.

Cassie glanced at the bandages that ran over her body, closing the sides of her jacket over her pale body. She glanced around, realizing that a lot was missing. Anya's coat, her bow and arrows, her daggers, all were gone.

"Where- Where is Anya?"

"She left. She went back to our village. "

Cassie gave her a horrified look.

"What's going on?"

"You cost me my best Wormana, Skaigada."

"Why did she leave?"

"What did you expect? That all would be forgotten, that everyone will go on with their lives just like nothing happened? You refused to fight, Skaigada. For yourself, for the people you loved, for her. You let everyone down."

Cassie painfully wiped the tears away from her cheeks.

"I just want to see my daughter again," she moaned.

Lexa frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"I lost my daughter. She died, she was killed in the most horrible way. I have to come back to her. She can't be alone. She's just a baby- "

"Do you think your daughter would be happy to see you destroy yourself?" Lexa replied.

Cassie bit her lip.

"There is no word to call a parent who has lost their child," Lexa continued softly. "And I can't pretend I will ever know you pain, but just know that I've lost loved ones too. We all did. I've seen things you can't even imagine, I have witnessed Death, I have been Death. And yet here I am, fighting everyday to make this world a better place for my people. "

Cassie looked down. Her white hands were smeared with blood and mud, her tangled hair falling in bundles over her shoulders. She would never have accepted such a lax before, but now she didn't care.

The blood on her hands reminded her of her daughter's, and the way her body had been violently torn from her arms, amid the commotion, screaming and horror. Cassie couldn't forgive herself for not being more vigilant, for keeping her away from violence and danger. She should have known. She should have foreseen. After all, her baby had not been his first victim.

She wiped her nose, sniffled. Anya was gone, she had fled while she still could. Cassie couldn't help but let a painful chuckle escape as she thought back to the look she had given her before disappearing into the crowd.

"I bet she wishes she had left me to die in the pod."

"You broke Anya's heart."

"Yeah, sure," Cassie chuckled sarcastically.

As Lexa continued to stare at her in silence, she realized she wasn't joking.

"Oh, you're serious? I don't think that's even possible, sweetie."

"Why? Because she doesn't have a heart?" Lexa growled.

"No, because she doesn't use it. She's not my friend and she hates me even if she says otherwise. Anya just needed an excuse to finally get rid of me. I mean, I would have done the same."

Lexa didn't move, her face closed.

"Her brother died."

Cassie looked up at her in surprise.

"He had the sickness too, after his friend died. The sickness of the soul. He didn't tell anyone, but he was slowly loosing his purpose, his desire to live. Anya suspected something, but he assured her everything was fine, so she let it go. A year after the death of his friend, he killed himself by hanging himself from a tree."

Cassie put her hand to her mouth, horrified.

"Anya found him. He never explained why he would do that or why he decided to give up. When he killed himself, he took a part of her soul with him."

Tears rolled down Cassie's cheeks.

"Her mother blamed her," Lexa continued. "She thinks it was Anya's fault and that if she had pushed him to talk, he wouldn't have died. Anya blames herself even more."

Silence. Lexa was looking at her with her impassive gaze as Cassie cried.

"When she found you, she was just an empty shell, she wasn't herself anymore."

"That's why you decided to team us up," Cassie whispered.

Lexa nodded.

"By healing you, Anya was healing herself. I never imagined you would relapse."

Cassie rubbed her cheeks to wipe away the tears.

"So, what you're saying is that… I broke her heart, and now she's gone, just like she left when her brother died. That I broke her again."

"Yes."

"Oh, God!" Cassie cried before bursting into tears. "I never wanted to come to the Ground! I never wanted my baby to die! I never meant for any of this to happen! "

"Of course you did," Lexa replied. "The day you decided to give up on yourself, you gave up on everyone you've ever loved. You think you are alone in this? Do you think you're the only one who has been through Hell? All our families and friends and everyone will die one day or another, some of them have been murdered in front of us, by our own hand. It's easier to tell yourself that you are weak, because then you have a reason to give up."

Lexa stood up, towering over Cassie who was sobbing without a word.

"I don't choose that. Anya doesn't either. What do you choose, Kassy kom Skaikru? "

She turned on her heel and left the room, closing the door behind her.

And Cassie found herself alone, sobbing.

Alone. And lonely.