Hello Everyone! It's been a while! I took my hand at rewriting this better. I have completely revamped the first chapter and will be adding more installments as time goes on. This was a fan favorite and I am excited to rewrite it with the skills I have improved over the years. Please leave a review so I can continue to grow and learn more about writing! - Auntie Dragneel Out

The sky is an ugly collage of grey as the harsh rain hits the roofs of Paris tonight. Nights like this give you a chill to the bone that you just can't seem to get rid of. It brings my thoughts deep into my mind, into the crevasses of my soul, the earth-shattering pain that I can't seem to erase. The pure perfection that is ruined only moments later by pained eyes covered with a fake grin. A pain that reflects so deeply in those g—The screeching of the kettle brings me out of my head and back into reality.

I pull myself off the couch to stop the offending noise. I'm instantly cold as my blanket falls uselessly, half on the couch and the floor. The cold floor sends waves of shivers as my bare feet bring me to the kitchen. Just as I shut off the kettle I feel the cool air lap at the back of my neck, causing little hairs to tickle my shoulders. I grab a second cup as I catch the sound of the window latching shut.

"It's a Citrus Mint tea, it'll warm you up. I've left a towel for you on the rack to your left." I say in the cheeriest voice I can offer, it's not much today. I finish pouring the cups and turn around to find a soaking wet man, complete with leather suit, bell, and cat ears.

"Thanks." He mutters, clearly shivering. I bring the cups to the coffee table to steep and begin settling back into the couch. "You know, you'll have to tell me when you gained to superpower of knowing everything all the time." He chuckled. I can tell he is trying to maintain his positive demeanor, it's not working, but he's trying. I glance over to him just in time to catch him hanging the now wet towel over the back of a chair. I lift the blankets just in time for cold leather to cause goosebumps all over my practically bare legs.

"It's not really a superpower, you just aren't as stealthy as you think you are."

"I'm wounded." He pretends to pout as he hands me my cup of fully steeped tea from the table. We sit in comfortable silence for a while. I play with his damp blonde locks, remembering to steer clear his ears, as he tries to regain a normal body temperature. The sounds of the radio and the storm are enough to keep the conversation to a minimum, the fake fireplace helps keep the illusion of warmth.

For a minute, just for a moment, I let myself revel in the warmth of his body pressed against my own as we curl up in the softness of the couch. It's much better than the hard steel I am used to. A loud thunder crash ruins our peaceful atmosphere and it seems to remind him of why he is really here.

"I did it again..." He starts to trail, I can hear the tightness in his throat, but I pretend I don't.

"I know, are you okay?"

"No," he chokes on the word, "but it was perfect, until it wasn't."

"You can't keep doing this." I tuck a stray hair behind his ear. I am a hypocrite and I hate the words the second they leave my mouth. Nothing more than vibrations that pass through the air, but they have betrayed me.

"It's everything… It's everything I have ever wanted. I just didn't want it like this." I pretend I don't hear the sniffles, each one sending wave after wave of pain through my chest.

"You need to talk to her. You need to tell her how you feel." I sip my tea to ignore the pain. I love this man, telling him this betrays my heart. I silently pray that he never takes this advice, his friendship means entirely to much to me.

"I will… soon." He coughs and sits up so he can drink his tea. "Enough with my pain, how are things going with Adrien?"

"Ugggggh, can we go back to talking about your problems?"

"Nope! You can't use my issues to ignore yours." He gives me that grin that I love. I know it is fake, I can still see the pain hiding behind his eyes.

"Bleh!" I stick my tongue out at him. "Fine. It's going the same as always. He is seriously as dense as ever. You'd think after all these years he would figure it out, but noooooooo."

"Did you take him to that secret spot in the park off Moutane street that I told you about?"

"Yeah, beautiful spot by the way, you'll have to tell me how you came across that one day. Anyways, we stop for coffee on the way, and he pays like he always does."

"Ever the gentleman." He chuckles as he tugs on the blanket leaving my toes exposed to the cool air.

"Then he starts going on about how I am the best friend he could ever ask for. I'm over here thinking, like holy shit, this could be it? Is he going to ask me out? So, we get to the spot, beautiful view of the water, he pulls me close and tucks my hair behind my ear and tells me that any man would be lucky to have me." I sigh as I remember the events of last week. It truly was a beautiful day. The weather couldn't have been more perfect for this date, or at least that's what I thought it was.

"Well? What happened? Don't leave me hanging!" Chat's voice pulls me from the memories.

"He asked me if I wanted to go on a date," I pause as I hear him giggle. "WITH HIS FRIEND!" I shout as I throw my hands up in defeat. He looks at me stunned, three seconds go by, I can see the wheels turning and as the train enters the station, he lets out a groan that would put any stubborn hinge to shame.

"Princess, are you sure this is the one? If the situation ever arise that you need to repopulate the earth, he seems too stupid to figure out how to do that. I on the other h-umhh!" He doesn't finish his sentence as the pillow to his face made that a bit difficult. He looks at me wounded, then bursts out in laughter. I can't help it; his laugh is so contagious that I just have to join in. It takes a few minutes for us to get rid of a serious case of the giggles.

He stands up from the couch and stretches. He carefully positions the blanket on my lap for maximum warmth, my toes are very thankful. He glances to the window, then the clock, then to the empty mugs. He picks the mugs up from the table and heads into the kitchen. I watch carefully as he cleans up our teatime. The pain is still fresh on his face, he is poorly hiding it today, something is wrong, but what?

"Thanks for the tea, I should probably g-"

"Okay, spill it."

"What? It's nothing… Don't worry about it. I should go, it's late." I can see the pain well up in his eyes. I leave my very warm spot on the couch and head into the kitchen. I use my body as a door and block him in front of the dishwasher.

"No. It's not nothing." I reach to the right and open the fridge. I grab the closest bottle of wine and look him dead in the face. "You're not leaving until this is empty and you've spilled your guts." He sighs and walks over to the cabinet to grab the wine glasses. He opens the cabinet and turns to me with an amused face, grabbing the items that are amusing him.

"Really?" He asks with a chuckle holding the cat-shaped stemless wine glasses.

"What?" I shrug. "They were on sale."

"Whatever loser. Just admit that you love me."

"Shuddup and bring me the damn glasses." I yank a glass from him, filling it to the brim with the clear liquid.

"Why do they call it white wine if it is clear?" He muses as he takes a sip from his glass.

"To make you ask stupid questions." I head back towards the couch with my glass. It is too damn chilly to being trying to have this conversation without a blanket. "Okay, so spill it. Or do I need to get you drunk first?" I nod towards his glass.

"No, I'll tell you, but you better make sure I am drunk by the time I've finished. I don't want to have to remember." The pain is forefront on his face now. He's not hiding it from me anymore, I can feel it beginning to darken my soul. He finishes his glass in a big gulp, I pour him a second.

"It wasn't much different than any other time. She offers a race, and it always ends at our secret spot, and you know how that goes once we get there." He instinctively pulls his arms closer to his chest. Like his arms will protect him from the onslaught of pain that he is about to remember. His left hand trails over the faint trace of a hickey on his neck and I can feel another piece of darkness enter my soul.

I let my mind drift as he recounts the event, making sure to nod and offer quiet okays when necessary. I wonder back to when he first started showing up at my house. It's been what, six, may be seven years now, we were still in high school when his visits started. The little balcony that I had at my parent's house, the secret talks. Oh, how it has evolved to this. How did we even get here? I'm brought out of my memories by his low whisper.

"She said I love you." His voice cracks as he says the words. "She said I love you, and she doesn't even mean it." My blood runs cold, I can feel it thicken. It can't be, she couldn't have said it. I can't think about this right now. I push it out of my mind.

"If she said I love you, why aren't you over the moon?" I glance at his face, tears stream freely.

"Her eyes... they were hollow." He takes the bottle from the table and downs the rest. Suddenly, I am staring at the ceiling with a leather clad man sobbing to my chest. I stroke his back in soothing circles until the sobbing stops. I run my fingers through his hair until his heart rate comes back to a normal pace. I whisper sweet nothings into his ear, it's what he comes here to hear from me. We could have been laying there for hours, but it felt like seconds. I let mind go to the darkness that has been seeping its way into my soul all night while we lie there.

I am startled back to reality by him standing up, I must've fallen asleep. He gives me a sheepish grin.

"Thank you."

"Anytime Buttercup."

"He will notice you one day; he will see how perfect you are. Don't give up, Adrien will notice you." He smiles as he perches in my window.

"She will stop using you, she will realize how amazing you are. Don't give up, Ladybug will stop using you." By the time I make it to the open window, he is long gone. He'll never know how fucked up it really is that he confides in me. I latch the window, turn out the light, and head to bed.

As I lay in bed, I think about how truly twisted our lives have become. I see how you look at me when I am Ladybug. Your eyes greener than the purest of emeralds, so full of love. Your perfect mouth curved into the softest of smiles, just screaming how you adore me. I don't remember how we got here. Mouths clashing, clothes missing, tensions higher than the tightropes we dance across. I want to be able to love you the way you love me, but I can't. The damage has been done, I can't go back now. I've done this to you. I let the man in the black mask with the soft smile and emerald eyes, whoever he may be, fall in love with nothing more than a mask.

If I could turn back time and take back the first time we clashed together, ravenous and new, I wouldn't. I'm too selfish. I can't get attention from Adrien, so I pull it from you. You were too willing, to naïve to see it for what it was when it started. Over time, I watched the light leave your eyes, your soul beginning to break. You willingly let me use you until I was satisfied, just so you could have a taste of what you wanted. I watch your heart shatter on the floor every time I leave you lying there alone.

Every time, you come to me after. Of course, you don't realize who I am. You come in, have tea or wine, pour your pain to me. The woman without the mask. I let it pull at my heart again, I let you snuggle. I let you use me, to hold me. You pretend I am her, the woman with the mask. You use me to pretend she loves you.

If only you knew, the woman who tortures you and the woman you seek comfort in are one in the same. It makes me sick to think about, how can I just drag my beloved partner through the trash like that? Tikki tells me it is a bad idea, that I'll only end up hurt in the end. How can I bring myself to care? I have nothing else to lose, Adrien doesn't look at me the way Chat Noir does. It doesn't matter if I have the mask on or not, Chat still sees me. With the mask, Chat sees me with love and adoration, and without the mask, he sees me with friendship and compassion. With nothing short of loneliness on his face, he sees me as Marinette, but at least he sees me. Adrien looks straight through me, at least when I don't have the mask on.

It is a twisted game we play with each other. I use you and in turn you use me. When you come to me as Marinette, you know of my pain. I tell you of Adrien, I tell you how invisible I am to him. In turn, you tell me of Ladybug and how she pulls at your heart strings. Every time you leave, you tell me Adrien will notice me one day, and I tell you that Ladybug will stop using you. It makes us both smile for a moment, but deep down, I know Ladybug won't stop using you and you can't guarantee that Adrien will notice me. It's time for the darkness to reign in the thrill of it all and I drift off to sleep.

Thanks again for stopping in! Don't forget to leave a review so I can add your suggestion directly into the story! Until next time. -Auntie Dragneel Out