DISCLAIMER: Don't own it. Haven't owned it for the past 137 chapters I've typed, and I still don't own it. So quit asking me, damnit. Yup, that's right, that's how many chapters you've read, friend, at an average of ten pages a chapter.
O-kayyyy…
Ari gay? Hot, or even… 'Okay, we'll bite, yeah'. Fuji gay? BRING ME THE HEAD OF J. LUCY-DAISUKE ON A PLATTER! Ehehehe ; I get it, I get it—It'd be weird seeing Fuji with a girlfriend… Made me start thinking of what other weird possible pairings there are out there. Not like I'd go through with any, but, hey, I thought of some interesting combos. Nothing I'll share, but just think about it… Yeah, some of them made me kinda sick, too. Enjoy!
Fun fact of Boredom: While we're on the subject… Fuji and Ari themselves are basically the way they are (ambiguously playful and straight-up gay) because much like their father, who, in his heyday (the ancient time period known as the Sixties) they're representative to the sexual revolutions occurring in their time periods. Like how Lupin the first was suavely debonair and an all-out ladies' man in his turn of the century novels, or Lupin the Third was open to… Well… Anything with legs and long hair that wasn't Goemon (unless you're into that kinda thing), Fuji and Ari prettymuch represent the openness in this generation to more sexually 'take-charge' types of women and homosexuals… Whew… I'm going to go catch my breath. See ya!
Chapter thirty-eight: Don't Fear the Reaper
"And this is the last production she was in before leaving on maternity leave," Toshiro said as he and Nancy filtered through another pile of memorabilia while Saiyuri slept on in her crib. "You can have one of the playbills… She always saved a ton from anything she did…."
"Really…. This… This is all too much," Nancy said with a shake of the head.
"You're practically family, it's nothing!"
"Hey, what's this?" Nancy tugged on a piece of fabric that lie on the bottom of the trunk, and pulled it out to reveal a Victorian era gown.
"That's where I put that thing…" Toshiro muttered and rose to his feet. "That's from The Sound of Music… She played Maria…"
"And you were Von Trapp, I'm guessing…"
"No, actually… I played a Nazi… And if need be a nun… But that's a different story," Toshiro answered with a sigh, and Nancy gave a chuckle. "Where are you going?" he asked as Nancy rose and walked into the hall.
"I'll be right back!" Nancy reassured him with a smile, and was soon out of sight. Toshiro shook his head and continued to filter through the things he had kept, not realizing that there was so much. He couldn't help but to wonder what Yukiko's reaction would be if she were to see the three large trunks… But he had indeed spent a great amount of time with Julia, so there were bound to be numerous articles of the relationship left over.
"How do I look?" Nancy stood in the doorway now, and quickly drew the samurai out of his deep thoughts. Toshiro nearly fell back as he thought he saw who he first thought to be Julia, and then realized it was only her sister.
"Wow… J-just like her," Toshiro sputtered.
Down the hall, in one of the guest rooms, Max Zenigata-Lupin leaned outside an open window and took another drag of a cigarette as Leo lay in bed, and, as far as Max could tell, dead asleep.
"I could've saved him…" Max grumbled and flicked the butt of the cigarette out onto the concrete below. "Damn it… Why couldn't he have just come to me in the first place?"
"Hey, Dirty Harry, you done with the exposition?" Leo yawned and rolled over. "Max…. There was nothing you could have done for him, er, her… Urm…. Anywhere, you didn't know that there was a guy there who was going to kill him. So just get some sleep, all right, honey? You can't help people who don't want to be helped."
"You didn't want my help," said Max with a wry smirk. He rose and laid down on the bed beside Leo, and looked upward at the slowly rotating fan above him.
"I was different," Leo murmured. "I didn't wear heels, for one."
"I'll bet you'd look nice in them if you tried…"
"Shuddup," Leo grumbled, and huddled down tighter in the comforter. "One thing I won't do is crossdressing… Well, where it doesn't help our case. We've got an early flight tomorrow."
"I'm going to get a glass of water," Max rose suddenly, tossing the covers aside.
"Go to sleep!" Leo moaned and threw the pillow over his own kid. "You're worse than Avery when it comes to being needy!"
"I'll be quick," Max sighed and kissed Leo upon the cheek, and then walked downstairs to the already-lit kitchen.
"I don't get why he doesn't love me anymore! I mean, when you say you love someone, you mean it, right!"
"Er…. Right…." Yukiko answered uneasily.
"Gimme that damn bottle!" Fujiko growled and grabbed the wine bottle from Yukiko's hand, and took another swig.
"….What in the hell did you do to her?" asked Max, drawing his bathrobe closer.
"She was like this when I found her," Yukiko shrugged.
"Maybe I'm not pretty…. Do you think I'm pretty? You wear a suit, you're almost a guy!" Fuji had meant to point to Yukiko, but instead an unsteady hand fell upon Max. "Wait a sec… Well, you and I go back anyway, Zenigata, hahahaHA! Watcha think? I'm pretty?"
"Fuji," Max began warningly.
"Nah… prolly not…" Fuji shook her head and chuckled. "You chose Ari over me, after all…. Over ME! You got any friggin' idea what that's like, huh? Nah, 'course you don't… My dad just screwed your mom… But that's a wholeeeeee different story, ain't it, Maxie?"
"What in the hell is she talking about?" Yukiko asked, looking above her fedora to Max.
"Nothing, she's talking about nothing. She's just drunk," Max answered, giving a glare to Fuji.
"Hehehe…. Nah, nah, it's a great story, really!" Fuji waved her hand and gave a wave of the hand. "You see… This one time, in Cagliostro…"
"Fuji!" Max grabbed her by around the waist and pulled her up from the chair. "Come on, it's bed time!"
"No it's not!" Fuji murmured drunkenly, pushing him roughly.
"Yes, yes it is!" Max growled. "Yukiko, help me pull this dumb bimbo upstairs!"
"Ur, I… I guess… Here, Fuji… Christ, you stink of beer!"
"Well… You stink… 'Cept not like beer!" Fuji gave a long snort of laughter and allowed Yukiko and Max to drag her up the stairway. "Mmm…. Max, you're looking cute tonight…"
"Go to sleep, Fujiko," Max grumbled and kicked open the door for Lupin. He then laid her on the bed, and turned away as Yukiko removed Fuji's jacket and sandals and shut off the light for the drunk woman.
"You wanna talk about it?" Yukiko asked as she looked at Max, who now stood outside the doorway, leaned against the wall of the hallway.
"Only if you want to pour me a drink," Max answered with a smirk, tilting his head downward. Yukiko gave a nod, and pulled out a bottle of Vermouth from the refrigerator and opened the sliding glass doors to the porch.
"What about glasses?" asked Max, closing the door behind them.
"I don't wear 'um," Yukiko answered with a shrug, and seated herself on the wooden porch steps, and pried off the cork from the bottle. "You want the first hit?"
"What the hell?" Max shrugged and took the bottle from Jigen-Ishikawa, and took a swig from the bottle, followed by a shudder.
"So what was all of that crap she was spewing back there?"
"I slept with her in Cagliostro…. That was the most awkward hour of my life."
"An hour? Yeesh, shoulda married you…"
"That included the argument, dinner, a half-bottle of wine and twenty minutes of silent regret," answered Max, passing Yukiko the bottle. "That's when I prettymuch figured out that I was gay."
"Woah! Fuji turned you gay?" Yukiko snorted and threw her head back, laughing.
"Hey, there's more to it! Don't pretend you know me!" Max shouted as Yukiko took her turn with the bottle.
"Did I say I did?" Yukiko asked, wiping her mouth and passing the bottle to Max. "As I recall it, Zenigata, the last civil discussion we had was me trying to get you to climb down from the tree you had shimmied up onto. You were about five, at the time."
"Maybe that's good, then…"
"What?"
"That we don't know one another," Max shrugged. "I haven't bitched to you about everything I have with everyone else, yet…"
"Nah, I just hear," Yukiko shrugged.
"Like what?" Max asked, taking the bottle from Yukiko and sipping the Vermouth and then looking at her with a frown.
"That you think the world owes you everything 'cause you're mixed race, and that you throw tantrums worse than your dad, and you have more insecurities than Woody Allen on a bad day."
"Glad to know I'm loved in the family," Max murmured darkly.
"Hey, you ain't so bad," Yukiko shrugged. "You've got a great family, and you've got a lot going for you… We both do."
"You sound unhappy when you say that…"
"Eh, I'm still getting used to the motherhood thing," Yukiko answered. "Hey, what's that?"
"Hrm?" Max shot his head up and looked about, frowning at the noise of the rustling.
Yukiko reached into her holster, and drew out her magnum, "Hands up!" she shouted, but this did not stop the visitors in the trees from throwing sharp metal throwing stars in the direction of the mobster and the officer. Both ducked out of the way in time, Yukiko pulling Max to the ground and firing while the strangers hopped out of the trees and disappeared into the dark night. The sounds of Saiyuri and Namiko crying from the noises of the gun shots soon broke the silence, and both Max and Yukiko rose from the ground, Yukiko picking up what remained of the unharmed bottle of liquor and downing half of the remaining contents, then passing it to Max to finish up.
She turned about and headed up the stairs, where she was at first alarmed by the fact that it only appeared to be Namiko's screaming. She then inhaled a substance from a white haze that had filled the entire second level of the house, and broke into a wild cough. She pulled the red handkerchief from her jacket pocket, and began to rush through the room. First she found Odori and Jordan knocked out from the fumes, along with Namiko, who lay sleeping in Odori's arms. Then there was Leo, slumped over his desk, and Toshiro, who was passed out on the ground in their room.
Saiyuri's crib was empty.
"Saiyuri?" Yukiko shrieked. "SAIYURI! Come on, baby…. Cry…. Please! Do something!"
"What's going on?" Max coughed, falling into the doorway of the room.
"Open some windows," Yukiko answered, looking through the closets and drawers, and even resorting to knocking down a dresser, while Max ran through the house, ventilating it.
"Wha… Yuki?" Toshiro rose and clutched onto the back of his head. He glanced down at his hand at what he thought to be at first red dye, but upon further grim realization, he recognized as blood. "What's going on?"
Yukiko grabbed Toshiro by the gi collar, and pulled him up from the ground. "Someone stole Saiyuri… Why in the HELL weren't you watching her? You were supposed to be watching her!"
"Yukiko, I—"
SMACK! And Yukiko then turned away from him and hurriedly picked up a red backpack, the one she kept full of her ammunition.
Jordan, Odori and Leo had all been awoken in time to watch Yukiko deck her husband, and Jordan attempted to hold Yukiko back as she stormed out of the room.
"Listen, Fuji's gone, too…. Maybe she's with them. Come on, there's got to be some clues as to where they are!" Jordan suggested, placing his hands on Yukiko's shoulders.
"Get your hands off of me… Unless you want to wind up… Like him…" said Yukiko with gritted teeth. Jordan did promptly, and watched her storm down the stairs and out of the house. Then there was the sound of an engine revving, and then the sound of tires squealing.
"She stole my car!" Max shrieked as he stuck his head out of the window. "That thing can't go at that speed!"
"But it's got a cop siren on it," Leo added. "She probably realized that."
"I didn't mean for them to take her…" Toshiro answered, slowly rising from the ground. "What in the hell have I done?"
"It's all right, man, we all screw up," Jordan said reassuringly. "I'm willing to bet it was your friend who had something to do with this."
"I'm such a moron…" Toshiro growled in his own self-loathing.
"More than likely. But come on, we've got to get organized," Jordan looked over his shoulder to Leo.
"Right," Leo nodded and took a step forward. "We'll take the Vespa… I can drive motorcycles pretty well, and that tracking device Max put on Fuji ought to come in handy, if she hasn't found it, yet."
"That's one thing I love about her when she's drunk," Max said with a smirk, pulling out a small hand-held device. "I'll bet dollars to driedels she's on the heels of whoever took your daughter… We'll get her back."
"Toshiro, grab your swords, and come with me and Jordan," Odori added. "What? What's wrong?" she asked, blinking at her brother's expression after she had finished saying this.
"She took my swords, too," said Toshiro in a low voice.
"Crap…" Jordan covered his face and refrained from saying exactly what he felt in front of the panicked father.
"Then take Zantetsuken," Odori handed him the plain-looking sword and gave a nod. "I hope she will help you out in some way."
"Odori, are you sure?" asked Toshiro and he looked over the sword. "Don't you need this to fight?"
"It isn't the weapon, it's how you use it," Odori answered.
"Come on, I think we can catch up to Yukiko if we leave now," Jordan said, waving to the group. "Max, Ari, we'll follow you two."
"Right," both nodded, and ran down the stairs, Leo climbing onto the Vespa and Max ironically riding bitch on the yellow scooter.
"So you have any idea where she is?" Leo shouted over the engine to Max.
"Here," Max pointed to a small bleep on the radar he carried, and Leo gave a roll of the eyes.
"Yes… Because grids are so easy to read when you're wanting street directions…" Leo sighed. "Can you read it out to me, Max?"
"Urm… A left up here…"
"That's a river!"
"The radar knows no lies…"
"You also buy cheap!" Leo sped over the bridge covering the river, and watched something glint in his rearview. He quickly made a 180-degree turn, nearly knocking Max off of the scooter and causing Jordan to shriek his brakes.
"There's space beneath there," Max explained, driving down the embankment, and finding a familiar red purse, which, held inside it, Fuji's tracking device.
Max sighed and shut off the radar, then placed it in his jacket pocket while Leo slung the purse over his shoulder and began to drive forward, having no idea know where they were going, or where Yukiko, Saiyuri, or Fuji were.
Manhattan:
"Ugh…" Fuji arose with a pounding head to the sound of heavy traffic and a crying baby. She sat up, and noted immediately that her legs and hands were bound. She pushed open a small compartment from a ring she wore, and began to saw away with the tiny blade that emerged. She stopped briefly as she heard footsteps from outside the dark door, and resumed as they faded. She then slid over to Saiyuri after undoing her wrist bindings, and lifting up the baby.
"Shhh…. It's okay," Fuji whispered to the infant. "Come on, it'll be fine… Your mommy and daddy'll be here soon, and until then, Auntie Fuji will take care of you…. How in the hell's Auntie Fuji going to manage, though? She can barely take care of herself, most of the time." She leaned forward, the baby still on her lap, and sawed through the ropes upon her legs, and stood, cradling the baby. "I know, you're hungry, and probably tired," Fuji said apologetically.
"Isn't that sweet?" she heard with a chuckle, and jumped with surprise. She looked upward and saw the woman whom Toshiro had been speaking with earlier, along with a man whom she now knew well.
"You touch this baby…" Fuji said in a warning growl.
"We won't… If anything, this child will be raised to carry out the pact which Goemon the Fourteenth broke…. My only qualm is that it's not male," the woman said with a discontented sigh.
"It's not even an 'it'," Fuji snapped, and turned away from the two. "Listen, I'll work for you guys if you let this baby go. I'll do whatever you want, you have my word as a Lupin. I will work for your clan, if necessary."
"Whoring it out to the end," said the man with a chuckle. "We couldn't care less about you, Lupin, and the only reason you're not dead yet is…. Well, there is no reason, now is there?"
"My own amusement," the woman smirked, and drew out a long sword. Fuji reached for her gun, and gasped as she found it missing from her holster.
"Looking for something?" the man took a step forward, and out of the shadows Fuji could not only see her gun in his hand, but Toshiro's two swords strapped to his back. "Go ahead, try to shoot me." He tossed her the gun, which Fuji caught with her free hand, and she held the baby close to her chest as to block the sound as she took shot. The tall Asian blocked this with one of the swords, which caused the bullet to ricochet.
"Not bad!" he laughed, looking down at the scrunched bullet. "Did a Jigen teach you to shoot like that?"
"No, a Lupin," Fuji blew the smoke from the gun, then attempted to quell the screaming infant.
"Heheheheh…. HAHAHA! You're using that baby as a shield, aren't you!" the man laughed aloud loudly. "You really are pathetic, when it comes down to it. Now why don't you put down the infant, and we can't make it a fair fight? Here, I'll even put away one of the swords, to even the odds.
"No, thanks. I don't trust your creepy wife over there. You know, the flat-chested one?" Fuji admitted with a smirk.
"You BITCH!" the said woman shrieked. "Kill her now! She's just a pest, anyway!"
"Not yet," the man smirked, and pulled Fuji buy the back of the hair. "You're quite pretty, Miss Lupin. Why hasn't some boy stolen you away yet?"
"'Cause I do this!" Fuji answered, and kneed the man in his weakest point. He doubled over, and Fuji began to back away, while the woman lunged forward and grabbed one of Toshiro's swords from her husband.
"I'll show you to mess with the Rat Clan!" she yelled, and lunged for Fuji with the sword. It pinned Lupin by the jacket against a wall, and Fuji quickly slid out of this and ducked away from the blade.
But soon the man recovered, and placed Fuji in a headlock.
"Now kill her, Jirokichi!" shouted the woman frantically.
"Jirokichi?" Fuji blinked, and a smirk grew from her lips. "So, you're the younger brother, huh?"
"I'll take her into a holding area," Jirokichi pulled Fuji out of the room, by the neck, while his wife looked on with contempt for both. Jirokichi led Fuji into a small, windowless room. "So you know my brother, then."
"Well, duh, I work with the guy and he's the only man in my gang I haven't knocked boots with aside from my brother, for obvious reasons."
"Hrm, any reason for that?"
"Redheads freak me out," Fuji answered. "Now why are you keeping me alive? If you've got something in mind, you better do it quick and at least give me a cigarette afterwards."
"The eternal smartass…. No, I saw where Mrs. Ishikawa followed you here, and I'm excited to fight the both of you."
"Yukiko? Hey, now, where's the fun in fighting girls!"
He bent down and grabbed Fuji's chin, and smiled slyly at her. "When they irk me as much as you both have in the past, a great deal. She's here right now, you know, and she's quite angry…. I better go pull out the welcome mat for her. Don't move, now."
"Like I had a freakin' choice," Fuji snapped, and watched as he closed the door behind himself. Fuji gave a small smile, and looked down at Saiyuri, and pulled out from the infant's blanket and small piece of metal wiring. "You're pretty useful for being so small, Saiyuri-kun! I may have to have one of these baby things, myself!"
The baby said nothing in response to this, only squirmed in Fuji's arms.
Yukiko, meanwhile, made no attempts to make her presence unknown to the ninja that surrounded the building. She first shot down the two who attempted to throw shuriken at her, and then shot out a light above one after he made an intricate show of swordsmanship in an attempt to intimidate her. The light fell, and knocked him unconscious, and Yukiko stepped over him nonchalantly.
"Don't get in between me and my kid if you don't wanna end up on my hit list," Yukiko muttered, and stopped as she caught sight of a tall man blocking her path.
"Yukiko Ishikawa…. You know, the last time I saw you, was at your wedding… I sat in the back," said Jirokichi with a smirk. "I sat in the back."
"Did you at least give us a gift for the wedding?"
"I believe a teapot."
"Ah, yeah. I use it as a doorstop," Yukiko admitted. "Now are you gonna give me my kid, or do I have to waste my bullets on you?"
"No need to waste," Jirokichi chuckled, and jumped from the ground, lunging for Yukiko. She quickly pulled out her magnum, and blocked the sword with the weapon.
"How is that possible?" Jirokichi blinked as he saw the magnum unharmed.
"Wedding present from my father-in-law… Made outta the same metal as Izanagi and Izanami, there," smirked Yukiko. "Hey, you wanted fair odds… What's more fair than that?"
"Indeed," muttered Jirokichi. He took a few steps back, and cautiously studied the woman in white, before making another run for her, this time making a cut across Jigen-Ishikawa's shoulder.
"Bastard…" Yukiko murmured with a growl, and glared at Jirokichi.
"Little girl not so tough, now, is she?" Jirokichi laughed. "Well, let's see what else you have, girl."
"Girl? Try giving birth, then call me a girl!" Yukiko growled, and shot at the ninja. He ducked, and Yukiko went to shoot again, but was knocked down with a blow from a long bamboo pole.
"Stupid whore," the woman who had claimed to be Nancy glared, standing over Yukiko with a glare of disgust.
"HONEY…. FLASH!" Fuji called, and tossed out several small bombs that, when contact was made on the ground below, gave off bright flashes of light.
"Damn it!" Jirokichi took his wife in his arm and covered his own eyes with his free hand.
"Cover your eyes, Yukiko-chan!" Fuji whispered as she lifted Jigen onto her shoulder and made off as quickly as possible.
"What in the hell ARE YOU!" Jirokichi snarled after the light and smoke subsided, and Yukiko was nowhere to be found.
"I'm just a small-bottomed girl with small hips and a big bust," Fujiko answered innocently from her hiding spot.
"Thanks, Fuji," Yukiko said hoarsely, sitting up on the roof of the building where she and Fuji had hid out.
"Oh, Yukiko-chan!" Fuji snapped her fingers and smiled. "I've got something for you!" Yukiko only then noticed the squirming backpack. Fuji removed the bag and with a quick flick of the wrist it reverted into a blanket which Saiyuri lie.
"Oh, thank God!" Yukiko embraced her daughter tightly, and looked up to Fuji from beneath her fedora. "I owe you big time for this, Boss."
"Boss?" Fuji jerked her head back in surprise. "Who do we look like, Lupin and Jigen? Go get the others, I'm sure they're on their way now. In a white suit, I don't think you'll have trouble flagging them down."
"What about you?"
"Honey's got a few tricks left," Fuji muttered, and jumped from the roof, onto a metal grating, and began to seek out Jirokichi and his wife. "Now it's my turn to play, Jiro-kun."
Yukiko scampered to the middle of the roof, and knew she was taking a large risk, but still replaced her bullet with a special-made flare, covered her daughter's ears tightly, and shot.
"Hey! I see them!" Max shouted from afar, pointing to the flare off in the distance. Leo signaled to Jordan, who drove closely behind him, and the blond nodded, and hit on the gas, as did his brother, in the Vespa.
"Please be safe…" Toshiro begged beneath his breath as they came closer to the flare.
Fuji was quickly running out of tricks to use against the Rat Clan members while the rest of the group drove to the rescue.
"Heh…. Clever, Lupin," Jirokichi smirked at the obviously tired Fuji. "Will you be all right to stand, or should I grab you a chair, perhaps?"
"I'll be fine," Fuji panted, and rose to her full height. "You have anything else up your sleeve, Jirokichi?"
"No, but she does."
"Wha-Augh… Eh… I…" Fuji's eyes grew wide as the blade entered, and then quickly exited, and stumbled a few feet back to the docks. Leo pulled up just as he watched her fall into the ocean below.
"FUJI! NO!" Leo shrieked and ran from the bike and dove into the waters. Max and Jordan were soon to follow, while Odori and Toshiro searched for Jirokichi and his wife, who were nowhere to be found. Fuji, too, was absent. The only thing that they managed to recover was her choker, which was found bobbing in the water by Max.
France, two days later:
"And… What else can I say? I loved her… I really, loved her," Heiji said with a shrug. "I just…. I wish I could've been there for her."
"Me, too," Ryo said quietly from the church pew. Victor placed his hand over his wife's, and looked away a moment, as if trying to figure the right words to say.
"I… I'm sorry I drug you away from her," Victor said, clearing his throat.
"It's not your fault…" Ryo leaned against him. "It's mine…. I could've stopped it from happening."
"….I…. I'll have to speak to Heiji after this," Toshiro said quietly to Yukiko.
Yukiko turned to him coldly. "As long as it's not me you're going to be talking to, go for it."
"You're acting like I was the one who stabbed her."
"No, but you're the one who let 'Nancy' in… This wouldn't have happened if you'd just done something like check a few facts. A few stupid facts," Yukiko snapped. "When does your plane leave?"
"T-twelve," Toshiro answered, clearing his throat and looking over to his daughter, who slept on, oblivious to anything happening.
"Lupin can't be dead!" Odori shouted suddenly as Heiji exited the podium.
"Dori, this isn't like a wedding, where it's 'speak now or forever hold your peace'," Ally explained, grabbing her by the wrist in an attempt to seat her once again.
"She's Lupin the Fourth, she can't die!" Odori snapped angrily. "She just…. She can't die…. She's Lupin!" Odori yelled, breaking down into tears and falling into her seat, her shoulders bobbing as she cried. Jordan held onto her tightly, and she looked like a child as the tall man spoke to her quietly with small reassuring phrases.
"Jordan, you ready?" Max asked, and Jordan gave a nod. Max then looked to where Leo sat beside his mother, and felt a sense of helplessness which he hated arise in him. First one of his dearest friends, and now a woman he had come to love as a friend, although he would have never admitted it aloud while Fuji were alive. He now regretted that decision. He rose along with Jordan, Leo, Toshiro, Heiji and Ally, and they, acting as the pallbearers, lifted the coffin and led it out of the church, onto into the nearby cemetery. Fuji was buried beside her grandfather as well as he great-grandfather, and the aunts and uncles she had never known.
"H-hey, Dako?" Jared whispered to his 'step-sister' as the coffin was lifted down into the ground. "Urm… W-what do you think happens to her afterward? Do you think she went to a good place?"
"I don't know," Dako answered with a shrug. "Nobody knows, Jared…. You can be the most confident person in the world, and not know," she added as her Uncle Peter read the sermon. "I guess you just have to trust that somethin' good'll come out of it."
"What if it doesn't?"
"Then you just hope you made the most out of what you could, while you could," the little girl answered. She looked at Jared's worried expression, and sighed. "Listen, my mom and dad are with her now, okay? They'll take good care of her."
"You promise?"
"You bet," Dako answered.
After the funeral, there was a reception at Lupin's home, which Odori decided to outrightly avoid. Jordan noted her by the gravesite, and sighed, meeting her by the fresh plot in an attempt to coax her inside.
"Dori, I'd love for her to spring back up, too, but it ain't gonna happen," Jordan sighed.
"Certainly it will!" Odori answered, wiping her eyes. "They never even found the body—"
"That night. A fisherman found it yesterday."
"It's close-casket, though! Perhaps…. Jordan, there still has to be some chance…. If not… What will happen to us?"
"Ryo's second in command in your guys' group, so I'm guessing you'll be taking orders from her, now."
"I only work for Fujiko Lupin the Second!" Odori growled. "I am bushido to no one else!"
"Dori…. Dori, come on…" Jordan sighed, and embraced her. "She's gone, all right? And you'll be fine… It'll all work out, I promise."
A hand then emerged from the fresh dirt, and Jordan Lupin screamed as he had never screamed before while Odori lit up with happiness at the recognition of the hand. "LUPIN!"
"Keep it down!" Fuji shouted from beneath the ground. "And pull me outta here! I can't friggin' stand small spaces!"
"Of course!" Odori dropped her sword at the still reeling Jordan's feet, and pulled out her employer, who was now dressed in a conservative white dress as well as a heavy layer of makeup beneath a heavy layer of dirt.
"Yeesh, if this is how I'm gonna look dead, I better not plan on it anytime soon," Fuji muttered as she examined the dress. "Heya, Jordan," she added, patting her older brother on the shoulder. Jordan, in response, collapsed to the ground.
"….Do I really look that bad?" Fuji asked worriedly, looking down to Jordan and then at Odori. Odori said nothing, but laughed, and embraced her boss tightly around the neck. "Dori! Woah! Choking, choking! Hey, don't tell anyone, all right? And… Get Jordan an ice pack. Looked like a kinda hard fall."
Later that evening:
"Max, you coming downstairs, sweetheart?" Leo knocked upon the door, and gently opened the door to their room and stepped in, quietly closing it behind him and sitting down on the bed where Max lay, his back to the door.
"I'm fine here," Max murmured. "I just need a nap…. Now, if you excuse me…"
"Hey, I'll miss her, too," Leo turned Max's face, and bent down, and kissed him reassuringly. "But we've got to move on, right?"
Max sat up in bed and sighed, his knees touching his chin, "I loved her, Leo…"
"What?" Leo yelped, his voice, reaching an unusual pitch as he did this.
"Sure, I always tried to arrest her… But no one was there for me more than her, other than you," answered Max quietly. "She was one of the first people to give a damn about me, or help me out of a jam. No one had done that before the two of you! Not Noah, not Jake… No one… And for all of that, I should've been able to save her."
"Aw, honey, you're just sad that you won't have a chance to be around someone that great anymore… Guess I'll have to do."
"Even if she was a big mouth, spoiled, and acted like a total brat, I still cared about her."
"Brat!" Leo rose and ripped off the mask, revealing Fuji. Max's eyes went wide, and Fuji quickly jumped atop Zenigata and placed a hand over his mouth to quell the screaming.
"Max! MAX!" Fuji slapped Zenigata-Lupin across the face, and Max continued to stare at her in stunned horror. "It's me…. I faked it…"
"You…. You faked it?" Max reiterated in a mutter.
"I can fake more than one thing, you know," Fuji answered with a smile and a shrug. She was stunned as Max growled and pinned her down by the wrists, and this turned into a laugh. "Woah, down, tiger! I appreciate this, but your hubby's downstairs!"
"I ought to KILL you MYSELF!" Max snarled. "You made everyone worry! Your parents, your siblings—"
"—You—"
"Me! How could you?"
"Listen, Zenigata… Faking deaths is a Lupin tradition. I had to to distract the Rat Clan while I gathered some information and pieced together a plan."
"The… What…. Huh?"
"You're so clueless. That's adorable!" Fuji ruffled his hair and smiled. "I'll explain it to you once I tell everyone."
"You aren't going to go about it the same way, are you?"
"Well, for Heiji, I thought about crashing through a window."
"Always the theatric…"
At the mention of the word 'theatric', a preoccupied Toshiro entered, storming about the room darkly in search of his suitcase. He then stopped, and surveyed the sight before him. Max pinning what looked to be Leo, in a mask that made him look like Fuji, on the bed.
"….That's the last Goddamn thing I needed to see," Toshiro said with a shake of the head.
"Oh, no, Toshiro-chan, it's me!" Fuji chuckled and leaped from the bed. "Here, I can show you something that's real."
"What? No! Fuji… I mean… Is it really?" Toshiro wondered, looking her up and down. "How do we know it's not a trick."
"That hair dye is number 47 red. You dye your hair because not only is it a massive turn-on for Yukiko-chan, but you're gray from all of the coke you did years ago."
"That's common knowledge!"
"Let's see…. Your favorite ice cream's strawberry…. You love Elvis, and your favorite song from him is Blue Hawaii."
"Once again… Common knowledge."
"You wanted to name your daughter Aaron if it was a boy."
"Quit playing with me," Toshiro growled.
Fuji sighed, "Fine… I guess this'll do, then…" she tugged on his hair and brought him down her level, and Toshiro's face matched his red hair by the time Fuji let go of her grip.
"You ARE Fuji!" Toshiro whispered. "B-but how?"
"You know, the fun-factor on shocking everyone's warn off by now… I think I'll just go down and explain myself. Oh, and don't look for that suitcase, Toshiro. You're not going anywhere. None of us are, if I have anything say about it."
And with that, she, along with Toshiro and Max, walked downstairs to face the funeral gatherers, and introduce them to the star of the show.
"Hey, Lupin," Max whispered before they hit the beginning of the stairwell.
"Hrm? What's up, Zenigata?"
Max chuckled, and slapped a set of handcuffs over Fuji's wrist, "You're under arrest. Sorry, had to do that once before you really kicked the bucket."
"Well, did it feel as good as you hoped?"
"That and then some."
"Well, what can I say? Everyone who has their first time always has a blast with me!" Fuji said with a classic Lupin laugh and a carefree shrug, all which hid a plan Fuji had spent numerous hours planning already.