II - Let The Torment Begin
There are many weapons in a woman's arsenal to torture a man, who has somewhat erred in her view. Among the worst of them is a scourge so terrible, so sadistic and machiavelic, that I can only name it with great awe: 'Spring Cleaning'.
The four guys soon realized that Raijin had had the good sense of fleeing when he had the chance. Fujin gave each of them a chore to take care off while she got dressed, prepared strong coffee, and phoned her friends to inform them of their men's whereabouts.
Zell was in charge of vacuuming, but to his confusion the pieces of trash evaded his attempts to capture them. When she stepped back in the living room, Fujin's complexion took an alarming pink coloring at the appalling sight.
"IDIOT!"
"Huh? What?" Inquired the martial artist.
"VACUUM ON BLOW!"
"So what?" Asked Zell innocently.
"PUT ON VACUUM!"
"Oh!" exclaimed our friend, touching a button he shouldn't have touched, and producing a pandemonium of dirt, dust and assorted waste.
Fujin blew a fuse, "OUT! NOW!"
Zell gladly took her advice and dashed though the door. Nothing Cristina Monica Reina Ema Antonia Maria Juanita Dolores Conchita Milagros Renata Francesca Manuela Angelica Veronica Marisol Consuelo could do to him could be worst than Fujin's ire, and in doubt he could always hide at his Mom's place.
Meanwhile Squall was washing windows with Irvine, or at least that was what they were supposed to be doing. Both guys were in the throes of a serious hangover, and it was quite obvious that teamwork wasn't going well.
"Squall! You're using too much soap! You moron!" Complained the sharpshooter.
"Whatever." Was SeeD commander's laconic reply.
Irvine had a headache and was in no mood for niceties, "You know what, Leonhart? You're a real pain in the $$!"
"Whatever."
The cowboy was quickly losing patience, "You've cleaned just ONE windowpane in the last fifteen minutes!"
"Whatever."
"THAT'S FRIGGIN' IT!" shouted Irvine, as he tried to throw the dirty water from his bucket to his friend. Unfortunately Squall ducked and Fujin, who had come to investigate what the ruckus was all about, was drenched from head to toe.
"Oh, Shit!" Exclaimed the two men.
"RAGE!"
That was when both guys valiantly decided to make a strategic retreat, hoping that their own wives would be far more forgiving than the enraged albino. Their longer legs giving them an advantage, they jumped over the yard's fence and disappeared in the distance. Nida, who had managed to remain under the radar so far, took advantage of the diversion to make good his escape.
After considering chasing the deserters, Fujin decided it was not worth the trouble and went to check on Seifer. She had put her husband in charge of picking up and throwing away all the stuff scattered inside the house. After looking all around for him, she finally found her man propped on a chair in the yard, sipping a beer.
"SEIFER!"
"Huh, Fuji, you see, I'm emptying the beer bottles, so I can go and cash them in, hehehe." He explained, not realizing how lame it all sounded.
It was too much. Giving up, Fujin changed her wet clothes then walked out of the house, banging the door. Fighting back tears of rage, bitter and unsure of what to do next, she made her way to The Balamb's Café. There she met Rinoa, Quistis, Selphie, Xu with baby Xujin, and Cristina Monica Reina Ema... (lets call her Christina for the rest of the story or I'll go over the file size limit for sure).