One thing Onya had learned over time was that Natshanagada's silence and absence was usually more frightening and dangerous than her constant muddled chatter.

That was why, when she hadn't seen her anywhere that morning, she had assumed the worst. Tris, who continued to follow her everywhere, seemed to think the same thing as her.

"Have you seen her this morning?"

"No, Wormana," Tris replied. "Do you want me to look for her?"

Onya hesitated. She wasn't going to use her seken for such a futile task, as worried as she was.

"No. Go…"

She realized she had nothing to make her do, as Tris waited for her instructions.

"You are free for this afternoon. I expect to see you tomorrow first thing in the morning."

Delighted, Tris trotted away, disappearing before Onya had a chance to change her mind. Onya heaved a sigh, entered the maze of corridors, nodding her head at the people she passed. Natshanagada's small bedroom, which was barely larger than a maid's, was on the other side of the tower, windowless—Leksa wasn't stupid enough to give her an opening to jump out of. Despite everything, Natshana spoke of it as the best quarters she had ever had, arguing that, in her castle in the sky, everything was gray and sad, and ugly.

Onya walked to the room, knocked on the door. Only a long growl answered her. Thinking Natshana might be injured and dying, Onya hurriedly opened the door, to find Natshana wrapped in her blanket, curled up on her bed. She hesitated between heaving a sigh of relief and raising a contemptuous eyebrow.

"What are you doing?"

Natshana's eyes filled with tears which began to stream down her face, falling onto her mattress. Onya winced uneasily, crossed the room to kneel beside her.

"What is it?"

Natshana sniffled, wiping away her tears as she bravely tried to stop crying.

"It's nothing, really."

"Tell me."

"Don't worry about it."

"I am not worried. I am asking why you are like this."

New tears appeared in the eyes of the Moon's Daughter.

"Fuck if I know. I just… I can't get out of bed, and I'm just a piece of shit, and I just wish everything was better and… And I miss my kid."

Onya was silent as Natshana choked back her sobs, ashamed to cry in front of her.

"I get homesick, sometimes."

Natshana looked up at her with teary eyes as Onya sat down beside the bed, leaning against the edge.

"I was not born in Polis, in a city. I was born in a village, in the forests of the Trikru's territory."

"What was it like?"

Onya gave a hint of a smile. Thinking of her native village always brought balm to her heart.

"Small. And big at the same time. My village was very small, barely a hundred people. But the forest… The forest was our kingdom. And like every kingdom, it was like it did not have any end."

"I had never seen a forest before," whispered Natshana.

"It is always changing, as if it is alive. In the winter, the trees are bare, and covered with white and silver. In the spring, it becomes green and full of colors made by the flowers: pink, yellow, red, purple. It is like everything was made of paint. In the summer, the trees are in a mixture of green and yellow, and the birds sing all the time. Animals run all around and the water of the rivers have never been so good. And in the fall, everything is orange and yellow and red."

Onya smiled again.

"There was a little girl, in my village. Her hair was red, and during the fall, she would up in the trees and stay there for so long we would forget where she was."

Natshana cracked a small smile.

"It sounds beautiful."

"It is."

"What was your life like, in your village?"

Onya hesitated for a few seconds before resuming her story.

"My mother is the healer, one of the best the world has ever had. My father was a warrior, but he died when I was young. I was the oldest daughter, and I had the responsibility of the household, and my brother."

Natshana moved closer, pressing her cheek against Onya's shoulder.

"We used to run around the village, playing with weapons made of wood. When I was not training with the warriors, we would capture frogs and show them to each other. He learned how to swim by watching them, it was ridiculous," she said, a half laugh in her voice.

Silence. Onya fiddled with the laces of her boots.

"When I first met Leksa, I was ten. They took me to a house, in the middle of the village, and put a baby in my arms. They told me she was my seken, my responsibility, and that one day, she would be our Heda. But the first time I met her, she was not Heda, she was not a Natblida. She was just Leksa, a baby with eyes of the same color of the trees and I knew that, just like me, she was a daughter of the forest, and that I would be the one to remind her of that."

Silence. Natshana remained silent, motionless next to her.

"The first night, I didn't say a word."

Onya turned to watch her, gazing at her face lit by the rays of the dying sun, tinting her skin a golden color.

"I just laid in bed, eyes open. Everything was so quiet, I couldn't hear her play in her bed like she used to. Raven came to bed with me, she didn't say anything, she just laid next to me, watching over me. I think she believed I was sad, in grievance."

She wet her lips.

"Grief is something she knows, just like every other kid in the Ark. But I wasn't sad. I wasn't in grievance. I was terrified. Terrified to have to live in a world without my daughter, terrified that she was alone, without me. I was so scared I couldn't move, couldn't say a word. Raven looked at me, in silence, for hours. The only sound was her breathing. And after a while, it became more and more regular and slow. And I knew she had fallen asleep."

Kassy straightened a lock of hair behind her ear.

"I counted. I counted to 1000 and then, I got up. I crossed the room, closed the door behind me, making sure not to wake her up. I almost tripped over of my daughter's toy while getting out of our quarters. I walked in the corridors, like a robot. I wasn't even sure where I was going. I was so scared, so terrified I couldn't think of anything else."

She gave a small laugh.

"I launched myself out of the Ark. And the only thing I could think about is that I had to die. Not that Raven was going to wake up alone, not that they were going to float my daughter's body in front of her murderer. All I could think about was dying."

Onya remained silent, mouth closed.

"But I didn't," Kassy said with a shrug. "I didn't die. I lived. I survived. And then, you found me. And I didn't realize that maybe, maybe, it was because my daughter wanted me to live. And not alone. She wanted me to live, with someone who deserved hope and friendship. And I decided I should give it to you."

She sighed, straightening up, breaking the solemnity of the moment.

"So, now, I'll stay alive. I'll live. With you, if you allow me to. For her."

"What was she like?" Onya whispered.

Natshana cracked a smile.

"Beautiful. And smart. And funny. I've never met anyone funnier in my life. She was the most beautiful thing I've ever had, and sometimes I believe I didn't deserve her."

She licked her lips.

"She dreamed of going to the Ground. She wanted to see the flowers, and the trees, and the animals. She would tell me stories about how she would build a house for just the two of us, by a lake, and we would have a cat, a parrot and a llama."

Onya sketched a smile, even though she had no idea what she was talking about.

"Most parents are annoyed when their kids wake them up because they had a nightmare, or to have to be responsible 24/7 of their kid, or to never have a break, but I loved it. I loved every part of it, the good, the bad, the medium."

Onya watched as the dying rays of the sun colored her hair, reminding her of the little girl in her village.

"Someday, you will be happy, Kassy."

"I know. But sometimes, I think I'll need you to remind me of that."