Venomous Wizardry PG-13
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson

Summary: Being Harry Potter isn't all that easy, especially not when the house you've grown up in is destroyed in a freak disaster and your boxer shorts starts communicating with you!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter, Hogwarts and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine.
If the layout looks screwy or symbols seems to be missing, you're probably reading the quickedit-mangled version of this fic on ff dot net, if it grates on your nerves too much, read it on hawksgalaxy dot com or something. ... Whenever I get around to uploading it there. :)

Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860, MSN Messenger/E-mail as iamhawk at yahoo dot com, though not very frequently as real life lately interferes with my online existance more then I'd like. More stories are available at my nifty lil' site at hawksgalaxy dot com or by clicking on my handle up above.

"speech"
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers
/thoughts/
/telepathy/
translation
+soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV+

Chapter One: Homeless

Harry slowly clambered to his feet, his eyes opened wide as they stared at the incredible amount of destruction before him. The house on Privet Drive number four was completely in shambles, a plume of smoke slowly crawling out of the wreckage. Scattered small fires were fluttering in the faint wind, as the thirteen year old wizard staggered closer to what had until recently been the place he had grown up in.

He refused to label it 'home', even now when it no longer existed as he had once knew it.

Airborne debris had inflicted a multitude of minor wounds upon his body, but he ignored the blood slowly trickling out through a plethora of small cuts, as he wobbled his way onto the wreckage.

He felt strangely disconnected to what was going on around him, barely even flinching as he saw Vernon lying on the ground, unmoving and with his right leg separated from his body, a slew of blood covering the broken pieces of wood beneath his gargantuan body.

Moments later, he found Petunias legs, the rest of her body covered by a piece of the ceiling. Her legs jerked minutely from time to time, but he ignored that as he kept on walking.

He saw no signs of Dudley and cared little for where his whale of a cousin might be located, if he was even around at all. He wasn't sure that the fat bastard had even been in the house when... Whatever happened, happened.

/Come to me.../ he heard a faint whisper on the edges of his mind as he kept on walking, unsure of what it was that made him walk through the wreckage like he was.

He reached a large intention in the ground and absently slid down the slope, coming to a stop facing a large boulder of some sort, still smoking and giving off an incredible amount of heat.

"Meteor..." Harry mumbled to himself as he observed the foreign object that had destroyed this dwelling.

A dark fluid was leaking out of the boulder, trickling down onto the ground.

/Come to me... Touch me.../ the mental voice urged him on, though he still couldn't locate where it was coming from.

"Looks like Snape's robes turned liquid..." Harry muttered as he stared at the puddle of dark fluid on the ground. He put forth his leg and nudged the slow-moving fluid with his shoe, then gasped as the fluid appeared to move on its own, sliding up his shoe.

He jumped back in panic, only to yelp in fear as the fluid stuck to his shoe and crawled further up it, until it made contact with his sock and instantly went through it, making skin-to-weird-fluid-contact. He yelped again at the cold and clammy sensation, then gasped as he suddenly felt something else, something very different.

/Yes! You will do, for now. You will keep me alive, you will provide me with nourishment./ the odd voice announced, suddenly sounding a whole lot more close and powerful then it had before.

Though Harry cared little about that, as the fluid suddenly rushed out of the boulder and rapidly covered his entire body, judging from the weird sensation of something completely alien rapidly moving across his scrawny body.

As soon as his entire body was covered, he screamed as he suddenly felt the weird substance integrating with him. His body jerked and shuddered, before he crumbled to the ground, unconscious.

/I feel an odd strength within this body. An odd source of energy the likes of which I've never before encountered... Yes, this will do just fine. Perhaps I might even stick around this one.../ the alien symbiote reasoned as it siphoned the weird energy from the body of it's host and integrated it with itself, feeling how the odd energy rejuvenated it and swiftly returned it to it's former strength.

It swiftly went through the unconscious mind of its host, learned of the place it had wound up in and the weird creatures that populated this planet. It learned of humans, it learned of wizards and it learned of magic, which was apparently the odd energy source it had felt inside this host.

When the Muggle emergency services arrived on the scene a minute later, the symbiote had drawn upon the hosts memories and assumed a more inconspicuous shape, shrinking and hiding underneath the hosts clothes, disguised as a pair of boxer shorts.

Thus was born, Harry James 'Venom' Potter.

"Ugh." Harry grunted as he returned to awareness, opening his eyes and slowly moving his gaze around without moving his head. "Where am I?" he muttered.

/We were brought to a hospital./ a voice announced, causing Harry to sit upright and look around for the source of the announcement, before he realized that the statement hadn't passed through his ears, but rather had been injected straight into his mind.

"Who... Who are you?" Harry stuttered nervously.

/We are you. You are us. We are one./ the voice announced, a statement which served to confuse more then it clarified.

"You're... You're that freaky fluid from the boulder that fell from the skies?" Harry asked in a very strained tone of voice, feeling as if he was on the verge of fain... Passing out... Again.

Men didn't faint, they passed out. So he couldn't have fainted, no way, he had passed out.

/We were 'that freaky fluid', now we are as one./

"I have to get out of here. This place is making me crazy." Harry muttered to himself, looking around to get a look at his surroundings.

He had apparently gotten a room of his own, his clothes had been removed and he'd been outfitted with a flimsy paper gown to preserve a smidgeon of dignity.

Or so was the theory, at least. He didn't feel as if it had been preserved, considering that someone had to have stripped him out of his clothes.

And given him a pair of black boxer shorts he'd never worn before.

/Do you not like our current appearance? We can correct that./ the voice informed him.

"I'm so going crazy..." Harry muttered and threw the covers off. "Where are my clothes?" he mumbled to himself, then his eyes bulged out of their sockets as he saw the weirdest thing. His boxer shorts liquefied and started crawling out to cover his body, before they turned into clean and mended versions of the clothes he had worn before the meteor, meteorite, comet, whatever, crashed into his relative's house. "Awesome..." Harry whispered, raising his right arm and looking intently at a sweater he hadn't been wearing just moments ago.

/We are shapeshifters, we can assume whatever form we desire./ the voice informed him and Harry blinked. /That weird boxer-fluid turned into this/ he thought to himself. Or so he thought, at least. /Yes, we turned into your current attire./ the voice responded. /You can hear me/ Harry wondered. /Of course, we are as one./

"Freaky..." Harry muttered, figuring that he'd better be careful about what he was thinking. What if a stray thought caused his clothes to turn into something his aunt would wear?

/We would not do that, unless we wanted to./ was the unasked for response. /We need but think how we would want to appear and we will make it so./

Harry looked down at himself. The fluid had copied his old clothes perfectly. Too perfectly, really. Dudley's old clothes were just as ill-fitting when some alien fluid had taken their shape as the original ones were. He willed them to change in size until they fitted his body better and within a blink of an eye, the clothes became form-fitted to him.

"Cool..." Harry whispered, then panicked as he looked around the room. "Where's my wand?" he yelped. This looked like a Muggle hospital!

/It is in the drawer to your right./ the voice informed him. /But that is no longer needed./ the voice continued and Harry suddenly found himself holding a black copy of his wand in his right hand. /We can be your wand./

Harry's eyes bulged out again as he stared at the new wand he was holding, before he willed it away and observed as the wand seemed to melt and slithered across his hand until it joined with the sweater.

He shook his head, this was getting too strange for him and he could feel a headache coming on.

He opened the drawer the voice had indicated and exhaled with relief as he found his wand, a watch he'd inherited from Dudley a couple of years ago, his wallet and his glasses. He blinked and put his fingers to his face, gasping as he realized that while he wasn't wearing his glasses, he could still see.

Perfectly.

/We had no desire to remain bonded to an imperfect host, so we corrected your disability./ the voice informed him.

Harry shook his head to clear his mind, then hastily pocketed his belongings.

"I need to get out of here..." Harry muttered and walked up to the door, listening in an attempt to find out just what was going on on the other side of the door.

/We can do better then this./ the voice revealed and his sweater suddenly sprouted two antennae-looking accessories from his shoulders. The one to his right sprouted two antennae of its own, one of them shooting straight into his ear, the other sliding between the door and the doorway. The other parted as well, two ends shooting off towards his eyes and the third bit sliding between the door and doorway.

Harry blinked as he could suddenly see and hear what was going on on the other side of the door. He could see orderlies, nurses, doctors and whatnot moving around, talking to each other and entering various rooms.

"Can you get us out of here without being seen?" Harry wondered in a low voice.

/We can get out of here./ the voice agreed and Harry found his head turning on it's own, as the sweater returned to normal again along with his vision and hearing. /The window. We can exit through the window./ the voice explained and Harry walked over towards it, opening it and looking out.

"We're on the sixth floor!" he whispered shrilly as he looked out at a small garden located between the various buildings this hospital was made up out of.

/We are not scared of heights./ the voice stated and Harry whimpered as his body moved again, taking him out through the window. He hung from the windowsill as the sweater shifted again, outfitting him with gloves. Then the gloves... Extended.

Harry felt like fain... Passing out again, as one end of the gloves were still attached to the windowsill as he simply walked backwards down the building, the shapeshifting fluid using itself as two ropes connected to the windowsill and his new gloves. Before long, he found himself standing on the ground and the gloves retracted into themselves, before they rejoined with the sweater.

Harry stared up at the building he'd just climbed down, shook his head and shuddered violently.

"I need to get out of here..." he repeated and made his way out onto the streets, vanishing into the crowds.

"Ugh." Nymphadora Tonks grunted as she slowly returned to consciousness. She rubbed her aching forehead and pulled herself into a sitting position, blinking as she tried to recollect what had happened to her.

She had been watching the house and the young boy as she had been asked, when suddenly...

She couldn't quite remember, but she got a mental image of the front door flying at her.

She shook her head and groaned at the headache that threatened to overwhelm her, at the same time as her stomach let her know that if she didn't do something quick, it'd get rid of its current contents, with or without her cooperation.

But as her gaze settled on what used to be a house, any concerns regarding her head or stomach vanished instantly. It was reduced to a pile of rubble, sectioned off with police tape. She stood up and absently adjusted her invisibility cloak, making sure that she was still hidden, as she observed the carnage in front of her.

"Time." she whispered as she held her wand, shuddering as she found out that she'd been unconscious for at least three hours. A hasty search of the ruined building revealed that the boy she was supposed to guard, just wasn't there. She suppressed a desire to curse out loud, then swiftly Apparated away. She needed to let Dumbledore know that The-Boy-Who-Lived, was missing.

"Now what?" Harry sighed as he looked out over the destroyed remains of the house where he had grown up. "No Dursley's, no Hedwig, no place to live and no way to contact anyone else I know."

Hedwig had been out hunting when he was doing yard work. He hoped that she hadn't returned to his room without his knowing about it, but he couldn't be sure of that. He didn't want to turn himself in to the authorities, as they'd most likely send him off to an orphanage or something. But he didn't know what else to do.

/Our memory reveals that we have access to significant funds. We can arrange for our own home./ the voice suggested.

"But that money is at Gringotts." Harry protested.

/We know how to get there. Our current funds should be sufficient to get us if not all of the way, then at least a significant amount of the way. We can walk or run the rest of the way./ the voice argued.

"I guess..." Harry sighed and scratched the back of his head. "I should bring the trunk, however." he reasoned and climbed underneath the police tape, moving around to where his old room had been, then groaned as he saw the amount of rubble. Most troublesome was a large portion of the roof, which he had no chance in hell of moving.

/We can move it./ the voice protested. /Just try it./ it insisted and Harry sighed, then decided to give it a go just to prove the voice wrong. But to his immense surprise, he managed to lift the section with only minor effort.

"How is this possible!" Harry breathed, staring in disbelief at how he held the large piece of rubble over his head. He cautiously removed his left hand and still managed to hold it up, even if he didn't think he could take much more with just one arm.

/We are able to enhance the abilities of ourselves to levels beyond what our bodies were previously capable of./

Harry shrugged it off, telling himself that he would have to sit down and have a long talk with his new... Whateverthehell it was... And find out just what the fuck it was capable of and what else had changed about him due to his new... Whateveritwas.

He threw wreckage aside and soon uncovered his school trunk. It was somewhat battered and beaten, but mostly intact. He picked it up and considered what else he had lying around that he might want to keep, but couldn't really think of anything worth the effort required to uncover.

He had unpacked some of his clothes, but it appeared that that wasn't something he'd have any urgent need of, considering that the weird boxers could turn into any sort of clothes he could imagine, apparently.

The only thing that wasn't in the trunk he considered worth keeping, was the cage for Hedwig, but that had most likely been smashed to pieces.

Besides, he didn't even know if Hedwig had made it or not. Though the lack of blood and feathers gave him reason to hope that the owl hadn't been present as the building collapsed.

"Well, I guess there's nothing left for me here." Harry sighed and got back onto the street, heading for a nearby bus station, absently hoping that he'd have enough Muggle money to make it to The Leaky Cauldron without having to walk or run, as his clothes had suggested.

Though considering the fact how much more strong he was and how much his stamina seemed to have improved, perhaps it wouldn't be so scary a prospect as he'd first thought.

"What... What happened here?" Dumbledore asked as he Apparated on scene, followed by Minerva, Severus and Nymphadora.

"I'm not sure." Tonks admitted. "I was hiding in those bushes, when all of a sudden the front door came flying at me and knocked me out. When I woke up, the building was like this." she explained, indicating where she had been when it happened and nodding at the destroyed building.

"Potter probably messed something up when practising whatever meagre skills he might possess." Snape spat out, though his statement lacked quite a bit of its usual venom.

"Accidental magic or a magical mishap?" Dumbledore mused, then shook his head. "No, I cannot feel any magical residue, other then from our Apparations. Whatever caused this, wasn't magic." he revealed.

"Gas leak?" Tonks suggested as the four of them crossed the police line, under protection from Dumbledore's hastily cast Notice-me-not-charms.

"I think I found the reason." Dumbledore announced and nodded at the hole in the ground and the boulder lying in the centre of it.

"A meteor? Wow, what are the chances of that happening?" Tonks exclaimed.

"Astronomical." McGonagall said with a disbelieving shake of her head. "Where's Harry?" she asked.

"I'm not sure." Dumbledore revealed. "When Tonks reported in, I tried to scry his location, but couldn't get a fix on him. At all."

"He's dead, then?" Snape asked.

"Even if he was, I should still have been able to find his body. But I find it highly unlikely that this managed to kill him." Dumbledore revealed, though he didn't let on the reason why he believed that. None of the others knew of the prophecy. "The Dursley's... Vernon and Petunia died, Dudley was taken to a Muggle hospital." he revealed from what little his temporal abilities were able to tell him after a brief attempt at scrying.

"Good riddance." Tonks snorted. "I've only seen them five times and that was enough to make me want to transform them into dog food and donate them to the nearest animal shelter. They were horrible people." she shuddered.

"Come now, they couldn't have been that bad." Dumbledore mildly protested.

"The male whale insulted and abused Harry every chance he got. The female idiot kept him as a slave, forcing him to do all the household chores. The blob of a kid hit him, insulted him and generally made his life hell." Tonks snapped. "Harry's life here was hell! Whatever moron placed him here seriously fucked up!"

"Was it really that bad?" Dumbledore asked with a pained wince. He'd heard how much Harry disliked staying here, but he'd simply assumed that it was merely a case of a child exaggerating for attention. "He was family, surely they couldn't have treated him that badly?"

"It was probably worse, as I couldn't see all that was going on." Tonks said. "Why he never pressed changes and got them arrested for child abuse, is beyond me."

"Oh..." Dumbledore said, realizing what a horrible mistake he had made.

"Who cares?" Snape snapped. "What we need to find out is where Potter is at now!"

At that particular moment in time, Harry was waiting for a bus to arrive that would take him to London.

Some time later, he found himself standing outside The Leaky Cauldron, having had to walk for nearly thirty minutes after he ran out of Muggle money.

It really hadn't been as bad as he had first thought. Even with the trunk he carried, he didn't feel tired at all. The trunk felt as light as a feather and despite the brisk pace of his thirty-minute walk, he wasn't even winded.

He first thought about greeting Tom, but decided that getting some funds was a priority, so he simply crossed the room and headed for the entrance to Diagon Alley. He was about to reach for his wand, when his oddball clothes sensed the need for a wand and he once again found himself holding the black replica of his real wand.

He shrugged and tapped the correct stones, which made the portal appear just as if he had used his regular wand. He shrugged and the wand melted back into his sweater, just like before.

He didn't know if it could be used to cast real spells, jinx and charms, but he didn't want to try it out either at the moment, just in case the Ministry got wind of it and sent him a notice. Though in case things didn't work out, he guessed that he could use that as a last resort to get hold of the magic authorities.

He rapidly found his way to Gringotts and after flashing his key, soon found himself standing in his vault where he poured a significant amount of coins into his trunk for later use and as much as he could fit into his pockets for instant access.

The amount he could fit into his pockets was rather surprising, but his sentient boxer shorts explained to him how distances and volume could be deceptive at times. Apparently, the insides of his pockets could become larger then they were on the outside, if he so desired. Much larger, apparently.

Harry shrugged it off as inconsequential. There were spells that could do the same, he knew. So he didn't care overly much if his weird boxers could duplicate the effects of that.

/Do you get dirty/ he mentally asked his clothes as he walked out of the bank. /Y'know, should I get some other clothes I can wear when you're being washed or something/

/We are self-maintaining and fully capable of disposing of any foreign substances./ his clothes informed him in what felt like an offended note. /We will never require washing./ it stiffly added as it sensed that Harry hadn't quite understood what it was getting at.

/Guess that's solved then. How much can you change? I mean, can you turn into a winter coat, a robe or things like that/ Harry asked.

/We most certainly can./ his clothes responded. /Though we need not worry about variations in temperature, no matter our form. We are capable of sustaining an optimal living environment none the less./

/Oh. Cool./ Harry thought approvingly. /Well, I guess I need a place to stay, then./ he reasoned and strode off, wondering where he might be able to find a place to stay for the night as the hour was getting late.

Some time later, he found himself standing in front of the Brown Hotel. He had found out after asking a wizard on the street, that The Leaky Cauldron offered rooms for rent, but that the best accommodations in Diagon Alley could be found at the Brown Hotel.

Entering the establishment in question, was another example of distances and appearances being deceiving. The outside looked like a rickety old wooden building, just like most to be found in Diagon Alley. The inside however was resplendent. Gleaming marble walls, polished wooden floor and an inside much larger then the outside of the building.

He signed in at the reception and paid for his room, using the name Neville Longbottom, hoping that Nev wouldn't mind him using his name. It was for a good cause, however. He had no desire whatsoever of dealing with the hassle of being Harry Potter at the moment. He just wanted to get some rest in a soft bed, he could return to being Harry Potter in the morning.

THE END! ( For now... )

The End! ( For now... )