Venomous Wizardry PG-13
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson

Summary: Being Harry Potter isn't all that easy, especially not when the house he's grown up in is destroyed in a freak disaster and a bloodthirsty alien symbiote decides to start moonlighting as his boxer shorts! Harry PotterVenom xover.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter, Hogwarts and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine.
If the layout looks screwy or symbols seems to be missing, you're probably reading the quickedit-mangled version of this fic on ff dot net, if it grates on your nerves too much, read it on hawksgalaxy dot com or something. ... Whenever I get around to uploading it there. :)

Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860, MSN Messenger/E-mail as iamhawk at yahoo dot com, though not very frequently as real life lately interferes with my online existance more then I'd like. More stories are available at my nifty lil' site at hawksgalaxy dot com or by clicking on my handle up above.

"speech"
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers
/thoughts/
/telepathy/
translation
+soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV+

Previously, on 'Venomous Wizardry'

Harry hastily wrote a few letters. Ron and Hermione deserved to hear from him. He even added two notes to Mrs Weasly and Ginny in the letter he would be sending to Ron. McGonagall got another one, seeing as how she was usually the one to sign the letters he got before each term. He also asked her to let Dumbledore and Hagrid know that he was all right. Since no owl had been able to locate him, he didn't know what this years letter had said, if they'd even bothered to send him one, but he figured he should let them know that he was still planning to attend school this year.

He wrote two others, one for The Prophet and one for The Quibbler. Sym assisted him somewhat. While Sym had never written a letter in its entire existence, the formal language that Sym used was useful here. Harry simply told Sym what he wanted to say, then had Sym repeat it in it's own words, which was what Harry wrote down in these two letters.

Once he was finished, he left the hotel disguised as Neville Longbottom and headed for the local Post Owlery, where he had to fork out five galleons for the use of their owls to deliver his letters. He didn't care much about it, he certainly had money enough to do so.

Once he was through, he went down to the hotel restaurant where he ate his supper, before he returned to his room for another bout of training.

Roll credits

Chapter Three:

"Harry's alive!" Ron screamed as he opened the letter the unfamiliar owl had delivered.

"Pffffft!" was the sound Ginny made, which incidentally was the sound a young girl makes when she sprays a mouthful of milk across the kitchen table at one of her older brothers.

"A letter from the ever so elusive..." Fred started.

"And ever so illustrious Harry Potter?" George finished.

"Ginny... Control yourself. Please?" Percy sighed as he reached for a napkin, which he used to wipe milk off his face.

"He's alive!" Molly hollered and would have dropped the frying pan and ruined a perfectly good pancake, if the enchanted pan hadn't floated on it's own over to the stove when she lost her grip on it.

"Merlin's beard." Arthur remarked. "Where has he been all this time?"

"What does it say!" Ginny demanded to know, glaring commandingly at her only slightly older brother.

"'Hello Ron.

Yes, I'm alive. I haven't eloped to Russia, been kidnapped by Voldemort or asked for Asylum in the Goblin Nation. As I'm sure you've already heard, a meteor destroyed Privet Drive number four, leaving me without a place to stay. I thought of heading to the Burrow at first, but I didn't want to impose on you and your family.'" Ron quoted off the letter.

"IMPOSE!" Molly screamed. "When I get my hands on that boy..." she muttered, making weird conflicting motions with her hands and arms, as if she wasn't sure if she'd hug him to bits or strangle him to death when next she saw him.

"'I didn't know where to go, so I've lived on my own for a while. It's been a marvellous summer, I must say. I've had more fun then I've ever had at the Dursley's, may they rest uneasily in hell. It's been great, only having myself to take care of and not having to bother with or be bothered by the three rubbish heaps on legs I'm usually forced to stay with in the summer.

I'm sorry that I haven't contacted you before, but I really needed some time on my own and I didn't want to risk anybody interfering with my glorious summer vacation. If you've tried to owl me since the comet struck, I'm guessing you've had little or no luck. Sorry, but I really needed some privacy, so I've been untouchable for a while.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I'm really looking forward to the new school year and that I'll see you at Kings Cross, if not before. I'll be in Diagon Alley the day before to do some last minute shopping, so perhaps we'll see each other there?

Owls still can't reach me, but you can leave a message for me at The Leaky Cauldron if you want. I'll be passing by there around lunch the day before the train leaves, in case you want to meet up or something.

Your friend
Harry Potter'" Ron finished and fell silent for a few moments, not quite sure if he should be jumping for joy that his best friend was alive or curse Harry out loud for making him worry so. The paper crinkled in his hands and he took a few breaths of air to calm down, before he noted that there were two other pieces of paper in the envelope. He pulled them out and blinked at what was written on them.

"Here. This is for you." Ron suddenly said, handing over a folded piece of paper that had been included with his letter, with 'Ginny' scrawled on it to his little sister. "And this is for you." he added, handing another note with 'Mrs Weasly' scrawled on it to his mother.

"'Hey Gin. I'm having a great summer so far, despite recent events. I can't say much about it now, but I wanted to let you know that if you can go two weeks without stuttering or blushing in my presence, I'll...'" Ginny read off her note, then suddenly stopped talking and blushed furiously.

"He'll what!" Ron demanded, snatching the note from Ginny who responded with a shriek and grabbed the parchment intending to snatch it back. It tore in half and unfortunately for Ginny's blood pressure, Ron was left with the business end of Harry's note. "'I'll give you something really nice. I'll be in Diagon Alley the day before school, but if you can't make it, I'll see you at Kings Cross. Your friend, Harry Potter.'" he quoted, then scratched the back of his head in confusion. "You blushed over this?" he asked with a curious look directed at Ginny as he returned the torn piece of paper to her.

"I think that perhaps..." Fred started.

"Gin-Gin was imagining just..." George kept on going.

"What sort of 'really nice'..." Fred continued.

"Harry might give her." George finished, before the two twins made kissing noises, which caused Ginny to blush even harder.

"Oh, stop it you two." Molly admonished her children, offering a sympathetic look at Ginny. Tomboy she may be after growing up with six older brothers, but she was still a girl with a crush and Molly could sympathise with her. Although she would be making damn sure that Harry and Ginny weren't left on their own for several years to come.

/At least not long enough for them to do anything really inappropriate. Slightly inappropriate is okay though./ she mentally amended with a little smile, as she unfolded her own note and read out loud from it.

"'Hi Mrs Weasly. I know you've probably been worried about me, so I just wanted to assure you that I've been perfectly fine and have had the best summer ever. I have been eating well and I've been responsible, not winding up in bad company or anything of the sort. I'll see you at Kings Cross, or Diagon Alley the day before the train departs if you find your way there. Loving regards, Harry Potter.'" she read off her note. "Oh, how sweet." she approved and wiped a tear from the corner of her eyes. "You could all do well to learn from Harry and send your poor mother a letter once in a while when you're off at school!" she snapped, regarding all her children with a stern look.

"We will, mom." all five of them chorused.

"You'd better!" Molly agreed.

"There's an owl here, Hermione." her mother's voice called from the kitchen, causing Hermione to pause in the midst of washing her hair.

Ron and Ginny had sent her a letter just yesterday and she had yet to send a reply, so it probably wasn't from them. She'd gotten her letter from school and wasn't expecting anything else.

Unless...

/News about Harry/ she wondered.

Hoped.

Prayed.

"Just take the letter and give the owl something to eat and drink if it will accept it. I'll be down in a few minutes!" Hermione yelled and hastily rinsed her hair, before she wrapped her shower up short, scurried outside and towelled herself off. She practically threw on her clothes and ran downstairs to the kitchen, where her mother was staring faintly apprehensively at the grey-brown owl sitting on the kitchen sink, sipping water from a saucer with a half-eaten piece of sausage next to the water it had been given.

While both her parents had gotten somewhat used to the odd world their daughter now belonged to, the owls the Wizarding World employed for communication still made them both a bit nervous. Hermione couldn't really blame them either, she too wasn't all that comfortable around the unfamiliar birds, although she had gotten rather fond of Harry's snow-white owl, Hedwig.

This wasn't Hedwig though and her mood took a dive, having hoped for a message from Harry. Though she did wonder who could have sent her a letter, as she'd never seen this particular owl before.

Her mother pointed at the kitchen table, where Hermione found a letter sporting a very recognizable writing and her mood instantly sky-rocketed.

"It's from Harry!" Hermione yelped gleefully and rushed at the table, tearing the letter open and sealing her eyes to the familiar semi-sloppy handwriting Harry used when he was making an effort to make his writing readable without the use of a translation charm, as opposed to the illegible chicken-scratches he used when taking notes for class or otherwise writing for his own benefit.

Hello Hermione.

Sorry for not contacting you earlier, but I needed some time on my own to consider my life and situation after the Dursley's house was destroyed and I didn't want to chance having my alone-time interrupted if someone managed to track me down.

I've been well, in fact, this has probably been the best summer ever, so you can stop worrying about me now. I'm great, unharmed and I haven't slacked off in my studies. In fact, I've probably been working harder this month then I ever have. In fact, I may even be able to give you some competition in classes this year!

I hope you've had a productive and fun summer as well, hopefully not spending all of it with your nose buried in some dusty books. All work and no play may make Hermione a well educated girl, but you need to let loose and have some fun once in a while as well.

I will be going back to Hogwarts to continue my studies, and no, I haven't eloped with foreign royalty, been kidnapped by Voldemort, decided to live out the rest of my life with snakes in south America or whatever other silly rumour you may have heard or read in the Quibbler. I have some last minute shopping to do in Diagon Alley, which I am going to do on the day before the train leaves, so if you can get away, we can meet up and have a chat in person then. Otherwise, I'll see you at Kings Cross.

Your friend
Harry Potter

"Harry, you moron." Hermione said fondly, shaking her head. She did let out a relieved sigh and relaxed her posture however, now that she knew that he was okay.

"That's from the boy you've been worried about ever since we came back from our vacation?" her mother asked, then grinned. "Is he your boyfriend, 'Mione? You certainly talked enough about him for me to suspect it."

"Mom!" Hermione protested, blushing furiously. "He isn't, I keep telling you! He's just a friend!" she insisted.

"But you wish he were, perhaps?" her mother slyly asked.

"No!" Hermione protested after a few moments of bewildered hesitation.

"Oh well, things can change quickly in your age. I don't need to tell you about the birds and the bees, do I?" she asked.

"No, you don't!" Hermione snapped, crossing her arms and glaring at her smiling mother. "And that wouldn't be an issue in any way whatsoever when it comes to Harry and me anyway!" she added for good measure.

"Whatever you say, 'Mione." she agreed and laughed as she pulled Hermione into her arms for a motherly hug.

"Hagrid. While Auror Tonks did find some of his blood at the scene and discovered that he had been taken to a Muggle Hospital, but later disappeared from it. According to her, the Muggle Healers wasn't overly worried about his condition. He probably left on his own, so the Muggles wouldn't discover anything about the Wizarding World. I'm sure that he's all right and merely in hiding." McGonagall tiredly insisted, rubbing her left temple.

"Ye are?" Hagrid hopefully asked, but only moments later broke down and started sobbing, hugging Fang close to his chest, crying into his fur. "Poor 'arry! I'm sure that some Muggle 'as eaten 'im!"

"Muggles do not eat each other." McGonagall firmly insisted, though she had to admit that she was unsure about that herself. She did recall reading something about Muggles eating other Muggles a long time ago, but wasn't sure if that was a wide-spread dietary preference or not.

"I wouldn't put anything past them! He's been eaten, I'm sure of it!" Hagrid wailed and let out a few pathetic sniffles, as Fang directed a pleading gaze at McGonagall, as if to say 'Please do something about this before I get hugged to death!'.

"Pull yourself together, Rubeus!" McGonagall snapped. "I'm sure that..." she started, only to trail off as an unfamiliar owl flew into the cottage and landed on her left shoulder with a letter addressed to her. She snatched it from the owl and tore it open, her eyes widening as she recognized the hand-writing and realized who it came from. "It's from Harry!" she exclaimed, then found the letter torn out of her hands at the same time as a faint 'thump' from a large dog landing on the ground after having been pushed out of Hagrid's lap could be heard.

"He's alive!" Hagrid enthused as he eagerly started to read the letter. "'Hello Professor McGonagall. I just wanted to let you know that I will be attending Hogwarts this year as well and that I'm all right. I needed some time on my own to consider matters after the Dursley house was destroyed. Part of my arrangements for privacy meant that owls couldn't reach me, so I have not received the start-of-term-letter. I will be shopping in Diagon Alley the day before the express departs, so I would be very grateful if you could leave a message at The Leaky Cauldron for me stating what sort of supplies I need to purchase for the new year. I would also appreciate it if you could let Headmaster Dumbledore and Professor Hagrid know that I'm all right. Respectfully yours, Harry Potter'" Hagrid quoted from the letter, as McGonagall fumed in silence at having missed out on the opportunity to read the letter herself first.

"Give me the letter, Rubeus." McGonagall insisted and Hagrid reluctantly surrendered the letter to Harry's Head of House, who quickly read it through before she offered up a faint smile to the towering half-giant. "See? He's okay. Though I'll certainly have a word with Mister Potter about worrying us all so. Now if you'll excuse me, I'd better go tell the Headmaster about this." she finished, though Hagrid didn't appear to hear her, busying himself by pulling out ingredients for baking as far as she could tell.

She shuddered and hastily left his cottage, well before he could offer her some of whatever rock-hard concoction he was planning to make.

The last time she'd accepted something Hagrid had made, she had to see Poppy Pomfrey to get three of her teeth repaired.

"A letter from Harry Potter?" David Shortneck said with a raised eyebrow, as he pulled the letter out of the envelope and feasted his eyes upon what the Boy-Who-Lived might have to say. "'Greetings Mr Shortneck. I have been following your series of articles regarding my current whereabouts and decided to offer you and your publication some information. I am currently alive and well, the rumours about my disappearance have been greatly exaggerated. I will be returning to Hogwarts for the next term. Respectfully, Harry James Potter.'" he quoted off the letter, turning it over and frowning. "That's it?" he asked himself, before shaking his head.

While he would have liked a better and much longer explanation, not to mention a chance to ask Potter some questions, at least it was some sort of news. He considered the fact that it might be a fraud, but the signature was magic and authentic. If it was a fraud, it was a damned good one. Faking a magical signature wasn't impossible, but it was no mean feat. The list of people that could do such a thing, was a very short one.

"Well, let's get cracking." he murmured and started writing a short article about Potters letter and his supposed state of well-being for the next days issue of the Daily Prophet.

"Father. There's a letter for you." Luna Lovegood cheerfully announced as she strolled into her fathers cluttered office.

"Another howler?" Oedipus Lovegood murmured absently as he tip-tapped along on an old-fashioned typewriter. While he didn't quite share the overwhelming fascination with Muggle-tech that had possessed Arthur Weasley, he did find some of the things the Muggles had developed over the years rather amusing and very useful. The typewriter was one of those.

"Doesn't look like it." Luna replied, turning the white envelope over and glancing curiously at the return address. There wasn't one, but it did say who the sender was, a fact she hadn't noticed earlier. "It's from Harry Potter." she said, before she blinked. "Oh, how nice of him! Perhaps he included photographs from his wedding." she suggested.

"From Potter?" Oedipus exclaimed, looking up and gazing intently at the letter, before he almost flew out of his chair and darted around the desk, grabbing, opening and reading the letter in a practised manner. "'Greetings Mr Lovegood. I have been following your articles about me and would like to set the record straight about my current whereabouts. I have been in seclusion ever since the unfortunate incident that killed my relatives and destroyed the house where I was staying. I have many enemies and many fans, neither of which I wanted to meet and that led to the decision that I would be better off in seclusion while I contemplated my situation. I am physically fine and retained no wounds or injuries from the incident. I am returning to Hogwarts for the new term and will be looking forward to seeing my friends at school again. Respectfully, Harry James Potter. PS, give my best to your daughter who I understand attends Hogwarts in the year after me. DS.'" he quoted off the letter, before scratching his jaw in a thoughtful manner.

"Luna, what do you think about this?" Oedipus asked curiously, gazing at his daughter.

"A cover-up?" Luna suggested. "I think he's trying to hide the fact that he's been hunting Snorkacks. He always did strike me as the kind of person who would want to go out and rediscover hidden wonders for the Wizarding world."

"Ahhh, of course. He's been trying to out scoop us, the little rascal!" Oedipus announced. "What a delightful boy! Do you think he would like to join our little hunt over the winter vacation?"

"I will ask him, father." Luna replied, her smile widening slightly at the thought of having company her own age around when hunting for Snorkacks. Perhaps he'd even be willing to help test her father's theory that Snorkacks were attracted by human pheromones. If they went naked on the next safari and spent a great deal of time snogging with each other, the Snorkacks would no doubt be able to smell them from miles away and come running to investigate!

Though she would ask Ronald Weasley first, while Harry was an attractive boy from what she'd seen of him, her own production of pheromones would likely be far greater if Ronald assisted them in their hunt.

"Where are we going this time?" she asked him.

"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you! My sources indicate that the reason why we haven't been able to find them yet is that we've been looking in the wrong places. Apparently, they've migrated east and north over the last five hundred years. There were some promising sightings in Germany twenty years ago, so we're heading to Schwartzwald forest in Germany over the winter. If that doesn't pan out, we'll try elsewhere for our next trip." Oedipus cheerfully exclaimed.

"Sounds marvellous, father." Luna approved. /Trekking naked through the forest with Ronald... He would be my Satyr and I would be his Wooden Nymph.../ she thought with a dreamy expression on her face.

The End! ( For now... )