A New Kind of Rest
By Headupintheclouds
Stepping over the stone threshold again, Ginny Weasley couldn't help but shiver. Since last year, the castle seemed to have lost its life. Before Dumbledore's passing, the entire place had seemed so explosive; full of life, love, possibilities. Since then, everything that once made it secure and exciting seemed to have seeped through the stone walls, leaving the castle empty and dank.
Ginny was returning to her sixth year, alone. Harry, Hermione, and Ron were off trying to defeat the Dark Lord. Ginny had spent all summer fighting with her parents for permission to do the same, but to no avail.
As the back-to-school feast began, Ginny hurried up the staircases to find some solace in the Library. Stepping in, she could feel from the lack of reverberations or echoes that she was alone. Breathing in the familiar aroma of book glue and dust, she sat at one of the tables. It held memories, of course, as every inch of this old castle did. It was Hermione's favorite table. It was nearest the bookshelves on what Hermione considered the "most important" literature; textbooks and nonfiction. It was also far from the tables near the entrance, where large groups sat to do homework, but moreover, gossip.
She remembered all the times she would walk in to find Hermione alone at this table, hunched over her latest find. Ginny now found herself in much the same predicament, but without the librarian supervision. Without it, Hermione wouldn't have dared to enter. Ginny, on the other hand, had become somewhat reclusive over the summer.
In her heart, she could feel the stirrings of an epiphany, a need for change, a thirst for answers. Where she was; the people she surrounded herself with, they could never provide her with answers. As much as her mother and father and siblings lover her, it could never replace the feelings Ginny lacked.
She'd spent the previous year hopping from man to man, ending with Harry. Harry had showed her all the things she needed desperately, and showed her all the things she could not stand. She knew she needed stability, but not so much as to make her feel trapped, her independence threatened. She needed attention, not so much that she drowned in it, but enough to keep her coming back. She needed the sweet nothings, but not the serious talks of the future. Most of all, she needed a relationship based on now. The past was over; the future would be however it would be. Things would work out as they were meant to, and Ginny needed someone to believe that with.
She sat there dreaming away until she heard the Library doors creaking open, and crack of light appearing on the floor. Crouching down quickly, Ginny peaked around one of the chairs to see a tall physique, his shadow lengthened by the light behind him.
How did she know it was a him? Ginny wasn't sure herself. Something about the way he held himself, she thought.
He looked around the Library suspiciously, before closing the door behind him. He leaned against the door, exhaling a deep sigh. As her eyes adjusted to the light, Ginny could make out a shock of white-blonde hair, falling into shining eyes.
"Shit," she muttered to herself, trying to crawl further behind the table that separated them. Instead, she moved on of her legs, and knocked into a chair. The sound was quiet, but in the exact tranquility of the room, she could practically feel the person tighten. Everything moved slowly for her, as she watched none other than Draco Malfoy approach.
Backing up as he took foreboding steps toward her, she saw as he peered behind each row of tables, looking for the intruder. Finally, he reached her row, and peered into the darkness at her.
She wasn't exactly sure if he recognized her, but he visibly relaxed.
Sitting down in a chair, he gestured grandly to the one opposite him. "Join me?" he asked simply.
Picking herself up from the floor and giving her robes a quick brush, she tersely sat down. What other option did she have?
She drew her knees up, wrapping her arms around the, but never allowed her eyes to leave Draco's. She could tell his eyes were closed, and waited tensely for him to speak.
Finally, after several uncomfortable moments, he seemed to remember himself. Drawing himself up to his tallest height (while sitting in the chair), he looked at her intently.
"What might you be doing in the Library, all alone? The Start-of-Term feast is taking place in the Great Hall," Draco said slowly.
She returned his gaze defiantly, and replied, "I might ask you exactly the same thing, Malfoy."
"Touché," Draco responded absent-mindedly.
Ginny looked at him, waiting for him to prod her a bit more, but he didn't. He merely sat there, staring around at the dusty surroundings, sometimes looking back at her.
The awkwardness slowly dwindled, until Ginny was almost comfortable. Alone in a library. No one but Draco Malfoy for company. The idea, and all that it entailed, was somewhat enthralling to her in a way she knew it shouldn't be.
"Maybe this is what I was waiting for," she thought to herself, keeping her eyes levelly fixed on Draco's. Something about her must have changed, because Draco suddenly opened up his mouth and pierced the silence.
"What are you thinking?" he asked, his eyes shining. It caught Ginny's attention, as something she never would have expected of him. It seemed nearly human.
She gave a little shrug, and challenged him, "Guess."
Letting out a small chuckle, Draco leaned back a little in his chair, crossing his arms across his chest. Ginny arched an eyebrow at him, daring him to guess.
"Classes," he drawled.
Ginny gave him an exasperated look and shook her head.
His persona seemed to change at that point, as though he became more serious and mature all of a sudden. It was a change that Ginny couldn't quite comprehend, but one that she found kept her on her toes.
"Dumbledore," he tried.
A sad look crept upon Ginny's face, and she frowned as she nodded.
He leaned forward to rest his elbows on the table, drawing himself nearer to her. She could tell from his expression that his next guess would be one that challenged her as well.
"Me." He stated. It didn't sound like the question he'd intended it to be. It wasn't accusatory, either. Merely matter-of-fact.
Ginny raised her eyebrows at him. "What about you?" she pressed.
He smirked at her, acting much more stereotypical. "If only he knew of the whisperings among the girls here about that smirk," she thought to herself. "I think I have my answer, actually," he responded.
She shrugged. "For all you know, I'm imagining you forty or fifty years from now, balding and wrinkling." She stated it with an edge in her voice. It was another test.
"I'd still be attractive," he opined. Ginny couldn't hide her snickers; they erupted, filling the Library. As she closed her eyes to laugh all the harder, she imagined him on the outside, looking absolutely furious. Instead, upon opening her eyes, she found quite the opposite. He looked bemused and entertained by her outburst, rather than angry. Her laughing was, after all, at his expense.
Following that, they merely looked at each other. Although they both spent a fair amount of time staring out into the vast surroundings of the library that enclosed them, Draco and Ginny kept locking eyes. It was almost unavoidable.
For hours, they sat there. The silence between them was no longer awkward in the least, but more necessary. Like a witness to the pain and confusion, even if they didn't know the details, was comforting. Glancing down at his watch, Draco looked up to Ginny.
"We've been here for hours," he informed her. "It's very nearly two in the morning." Ginny merely shrugged to this.
"I haven't been sleeping well," she admitted. "If at all," she added in her mind.
"Neither have I," Draco admitted.
"You can go if you want to, but I don't think I'll be able to sleep. I'll just stay here," Ginny informed him politely.
"I won't either," he stated simply. "Would you mind some company?"
"Not at all," she welcomed him.
They sat like that until morning. They talked, sometimes, but the silence was the best. Each was left to sift through their thoughts, without the overwhelming insecurities and fears they would have on their own.
As day broke, streaming through the windows, Ginny had a sudden thought, "Maybe this is what I wanted all along," she considered.
Although it was an unspoken agreement, Ginny and Malfoy would stay up all night together many times in the year to come; all of the time undiscovered, and nearly all of them quiet.
On the fourth or fifth such meeting, Draco had reached over, and taken Ginny's hand in his own. She hadn't moved it, or reclaimed it. It merely sat there, feeling the warmth of his skin against hers.
Sometimes when her insomnia was particularly bad, Ginny would owl him. And he would come. It was, of course, a secret. No one could know of it; it was both unpredictable and condemning from whichever side you looked from.
And although it would have looked fruitless from the outside, it contented them. And so it continued.
A/N: Wow… weird… Some of that stuff (esp. the lastest line) stems from what's going on with me right now, but a lot of it is just… sorta bizarre. The title started out as "This Kind of Broken" but changed after I wrote the fic… Still like that title, though. Love all my fans, leave me reviews :)