6th grade

"So when you're out there performing your hero duties, what really keeps you going when things get tough?"

"Honestly, I don't think about it as much as you might expect. When you're in the moment, you just do what needs to be done. If you really stop and think about what you're doing, any moment of hesitation could leave you dead. If I had to call out one thing, though, it's my family. Knowing that my little brother counts on me to keep the city safe helps get me through the rough days."

Shinso's eyes widened as he eagerly devoured the contents of a monthly hero magazine. He had it carefully hidden behind his math textbook, hoping that this time no one would notice him reading it.

Apart from the comics, the interviews with real heroes were one of his favorite parts. He'd never tell anyone, but sometimes he liked to imagine himself answering the questions, explaining what he was thinking in a fight or how he managed to save some civilian. Telling them with a mysterious smile that he couldn't explain exactly how his Quirk worked, because that would reveal too much, but that they could rely on him for –

"Ha, what's that?"

Before Shinso could react, the magazine was ripped from his hands, and he was looking at the smug face of one of his classmates. Sato was about half a foot taller than him and had a minor strength-increasing Quirk. Judging by his ego, though, you'd think he was the second coming of All Might.

"A hero magazine? Seriously?"

"Just shut up and give it back," Shinso said, trying to act like he didn't actually care.

"Make me," Sato sneered. "Oh right, you can't, because you're not allowed to use your Quirk ever."

"Whatever. None of us are supposed to be using our Quirks anyway." Shinso crossed his arms and looked at the ground.

"I should tell the teacher you did." Sato grinned. "I'll tell her you used your Quirk. No one would believe you and you'd never be able to prove you didn't."

"No – you wouldn't –" Shinso's composure slipped.

Sato laughed. "Like you're worth the time." He tossed the magazine onto Shinso's head, forcing him to scramble to pick it up off the floor. "They should probably just lock up people with Quirks like yours before they can become villains, anyway. Maybe when I go to UA and become a hero, I'll get to catch you."

"You're not going to get into–"

Shinso was cut short as Sato kicked at the legs of his chair, causing him to tumble to the floor in a tangle of limbs and hoodie. By the time Shinso righted himself, Sato had already moved on, picking on a Quirkless boy.

He buried his face back in his magazine, hoping his embarrassment didn't show too much. Turbo Hero: Ingenium looked out at him from the cover of the magazine, smiling confidently. If a guy like that were stuck with a Quirk like mine, I wonder if he'd still be a hero, he thought, burning with jealousy.

He stood up and threw the magazine into the trash.

now

Shinso barely cracked his eyes open before immediately regretting it.

It was bright, far too bright. His limbs felt weak and useless, and he was sick to his stomach. He closed his eyes again and tried to remember what had happened. He had been training in the gym, hadn't he? He had lost to Midoriya again. Yaoyorozu had challenged him, and –

This time, his eyes flew open. For just a moment he thought he saw the ceiling of the gym where he had collapsed, before the scene coalesced into the nurse's office. Recovery Girl turned to look at him as he sat up and groaned. Everything seemed faintly blurry, especially the books on her desk, their titles unreadable. His gym bag was sitting on the table next to him.

"Oh, you're awake." Recovery Girl pushed her chair closer to the bed to take a good look at him. "A villain got into the gymnasium. Her Quirk was Poison Quill, and she attacked both you and young Yaoyorozu. Midoriya was able to catch her."

Of course he was, Shinso thought, as Recovery Girl grasped his wrist and listened to his pulse.

"The poison seemed to be potent and fast-acting, but thankfully not one that causes permanent damage. You should be free to go, but I wouldn't do anything too strenuous for at least a day. Your teachers should already know."

Shinso dropped his hand into his lap when Recovery Girl released it. The room spun slowly around him. He didn't exactly feel in great condition to do anything, but he didn't want to admit it. "What happened to Yaoyorozu? Is she okay?"

"Yes, she's already left," said Recovery Girl, grasping his face and examining his eyes. "Hmm, are you getting enough sleep, young man?"

"Uhhh…" said Shinso, unsure of how he should answer. Eight hours was "enough" sleep, right? She probably wouldn't believe it if he said he got eight hours. The honest answer, that he was usually being propelled by less than four hours of sleep and a lot of canned coffee, would probably not be a good idea.

He was saved from the awkward moment by an even more awkward moment, as Aizawa entered the room, not looking especially pleased. "Good. You're awake. I had something I wanted to discuss with you."

Aizawa was never exactly a bundle of sunshine, but he seemed much angrier than usual, somehow, as though Shinso's existence was interrupting something more important he could be doing. "Sensei…?"

"Your performance at the gymnasium was substandard," he said, bluntly. It wasn't just general irritation, there was something off about Aizawa that Shinso just couldn't place. "Both you and Yaoyorozu failed to detect a threat and were immediately incapacitated. Showings like that will not be tolerated in the future."

"Yes, Sensei," said Shinso, voice quaking. He had just arrived in the Hero Course, and his position was already in danger.

Aizawa reached into the gym bag, pulling out Shinso's artificial vocal cords and capturing weapon. "I think it'd be for the best if I held onto these for now. They'll be provided back to you for training exercises."

Shinso's blood ran cold. "But…!"

Then he realized what was off about Aizawa.

Aizawa hadn't been blinking for the entire conversation.

"Is there a problem, Shinso?" Aizawa said, staring directly at him.

Shinso could feel it now that he was looking for it. Aizawa had responded directly to his face, and yet Shinso's Quirk simply wasn't there. To his knowledge, Aizawa had never erased his Quirk before, or shown even the slightest apprehension to talk to him. Stern as he was, he was one of the only adults Shinso had ever met that actually seemed to trust him and believe that he could be a hero.

Something had happened to break that trust. Was it really just the mistake in the gymnasium? His head was spinning. None of this made any sense.

No one trusts you.

"I want you to reflect on what went wrong," said Aizawa, walking out of the room before Shinso could process that last thought. "I expect to see you in class tomorrow."

Shinso grabbed his gym bag off the table in a daze, slipping on the shoes that had been neatly placed next to the bed. "Make sure you're getting at least eight hours of sleep a night!" Recovery Girl called after him as he left.

He felt unsteady on his feet, and he wasn't sure if it was the aftereffects of the poison or of the talk with Aizawa. The thought that he might fail out of the Hero Course as soon as he had finally gotten his chance was too much to bear. Perhaps naively, he had assumed that all of his hard work proving himself would have given him a more secure place, but he also wasn't incredibly surprised that it didn't. It was the most prestigious hero course in the entire country, and he had already somehow gotten special treatment. Asking for more would be ridiculous.

This was exactly why he felt like he shouldn't get attached. This was exactly why he felt like he shouldn't make friends. It was easier if no one even wanted to talk to him. Getting something you wanted and having it ripped away was so much worse than simply dealing with never having it.

It was after school – he wasn't entirely sure how he knew that, since he didn't remember checking his phone for the time – but the sun was somehow much too bright, streaming in through the windows. His feet were propelling him in the direction of the 1-A dorms out of lack of other ideas, even though he didn't really want to see any of his new classmates at the moment.

As if right on cue, he spotted Midoriya and Todoroki chatting in the hallway. Midoriya looked fired up about something, gesturing with both hands, as Todoroki smiled and nodded appreciatively. With their Quirks, and Todoroki's family pedigree, Shinso imagined that they'd practically been guaranteed spots as top heroes from birth, if they wanted them.

"Shinso!" Midoriya smiled and waved. "I'm glad you're okay! I was worried about you after I saw you had passed out."

So easy to make friends when your place in the world is so secure.

"I'm fine," said Shinso, trying to head off a conversation.

"You don't… look fine," said Midoriya, as Shinso walked past. "Okay… bye."

"What was that about?" said Todoroki.

No one is your friend.

The ground was spinning under Shinso's feet, but he had to get out of range of his classmates. Midoriya was perhaps one of the last people in the world Shinso wanted to explain his problem to, although he wasn't entirely sure why.

He tried to remember his Plan B for not getting into the Hero Course. His mom had encouraged him to go into a safe, office career like accounting – well, as much as she bothered to encourage him to do anything. He knew very well that even his non-hero career options would be restricted. Every job application required you to disclose your Quirk, and while Quirk discrimination was officially illegal, he knew better than to think he would be welcomed with open arms.

As he was walking past one of the faculty offices, he heard talking in low voices inside. He would have ignored it, except –

"So you took his equipment?"

"Well, what else was I supposed to do?" It was Aizawa. "If we kick him out of the Hero Course, we're back to square one."

Shinso, shocked, flattened himself against the wall to listen.

"We shouldn't have let him in the Hero Course at all." It sounded like Vlad King, Class B's instructor.

"You've seen how badly he wants to be a hero. If we didn't indulge him, who knows what he might try to do? Maybe trying and failing to be a hero will at least knock some sense into him."

Shinso couldn't believe what he just heard. He felt as if the ground were crumbling underneath him, like none of this could be happening, his worst nightmares all coming true.

They don't trust you. They don't like you.

He sank to the ground and buried his head in his knees.

Don't you want revenge?

His head snapped up. That…

They wouldn't see it coming. Don't you want revenge on all of them?

Those weren't his thoughts. He had been frustrated, and he had been jealous, and he had been angry, but he had never once considered that kind of revenge.

Becoming a great hero, showing everyone that they could trust and rely on him after all – that was always meant to be his revenge.

The way he couldn't keep focused on anything, the voice that wasn't his own. He was a specialist in brainwashing and manipulating people, and now he had zero doubt in his mind that that was what was happening to him right now.

The school hallway with its spinning floor and too-bright windows fell away. His feet were firmly planted on the concrete of the school gymnasium, almost exactly where he had fallen. In front of him was Yaoyorozu, unconscious on the floor, face screwed up in distress.

In his hand was a knife.

He let out a startled yelp and dropped it. Yaoyorozu began to stir.

"Damn it," cursed the voice that had been in his head, from somewhere behind him.

Shinso whipped around just in time to see a figure dashing behind a concrete pillar.

The realization of exactly what the villain had been trying to make him do hit him like a punch to the face. He dropped to his knees, feeling sick, even knowing that he had to get up and fight.

"What's happening?" said Yaoyorozu, sitting up. "I thought – it was horrible. My worst nightmare."

He nodded, unable to find his voice.