The Many Loves and Rivals of Ranma Saotome: Shampoo
by
triviatrap1982
(You all should know what I don't own by now, if you don't it's Ranma 1/2, Inuyasha, and Yu-Gi-Oh!...oh and thanks to the reviewers who caught my name screw up with Ranma's Mama)
Well, Ranma had three agonizing weeks to go for his dates and his choice of his fiancee...and possibly his wife. His next date was going to be technical to say the least. His latest date, Shampoo, is a very, very how should we say...determined Chinese Amazon. Though, he'd have to plan this one out very carefully. Ranma has had some bad experiences with Shampoo. One of which was going to repeat itself.
"Yes, yes!" Shampoo said as she waited for the timer to go off. She had gotten those mind-controll mushrooms to try to influence Ranma.
"Well, what are you cooking?" Cologne asked.
"A little suprise for Ranma," Shampoo said with a smile on her face.
"I see...you're screwing around with those mind control mushrooms again," Cologne said.
"What you talking about?" Shampoo said of false suprise.
"The same mushrooms that ended up having people sneezing for Ranma to hug them," Cologne said.
"You want to try?" Shampoo said...though the result was the same as the last time.
"No way! You try it!" Cologne countered...she knew what would happen.
"What you crazy!" Shampoo snapped.
The oven bell rang very, fucking loudly. This definately got Shampoo's attention, as she went to the oven and got the tainted pork rolls. She still needed a test subject to see if they would work. She decided that she'd go and bother, Tristan with it. So, after she had to clean up Cologne's stainless steel kitchen, she headed out in the busy city streets. She ended up finding Tristan thanks to Joey who was on his way there to collect money...wait, Joey would do, since he had an appetite the size of a starving Blue-Eyes Shining Dragon.
"Hey, Shampoo, what's in the picnic basket?" Joey asked...starving after a hard day of School...it was Thursday afterall.
"NIhao, Joey," Shampoo said. "These special pork rolls I make for Ranma."
"Hey may I have a taste?" Joey asked as Tristan came out.
"Man you're desparate for food, you know that," Tristan Said.
"Watch it monkey breath!" Joey said. "I seem to recall that you used to eat white school paste when we were in Kindergarden."
"Shut the fuck up, Joseph!" Tristan snapped.
Well, this was going to get interesting...so Shampoo picked up and took advantage of the situation. She offered the both of them a taste they took a taste of the tainted rolls. They both ate it, and with the snap of her finger, they were...making out in front of the brown brick appartment building, and people were watching. After she snapped her fingers again...Joey was about to pound Tristan.
"You ignorant...now I need to wash my mouth out with soap!" Joey snapped.
"Me ignorant!" Tristan snapped. "You need to brush and floss your teeth!"
"Says you monkey breath!" Joey said...recalling Tristan's short stint in a mechnical monkey.
"That's it, you're dead you ugly blonde goblin!" Tristan said.
"Bring it, cow-lick!" Joey yelled, just as he got Tristan in a crossface...on solid concrete...in front of hundreds of people.
"UNCLE!" Tristan yelled.
"That'll teach you!" Joey said as he popped Tristan upside his head and ran upstairs.
"You're so dead!" Tristan said as he chased after him.
"It's set," Shampoo said to herself as she headed home and she got the evidence she had that she did the mind-control food right.
She went home and she made sure that she had her receipe for disaster handy. Cologne, however, knew where this was going so she dropped a call to her potential son-in-law. She explained that her purple-haired devil of a great-granddaughter was going to make a very tragic mistake. Ranma, however, decided that it would be time to play a trick on Shampoo...and let Colonge and Mousse in on it.
"Well," Ranma said. "Why don't you make a un-tainted batch of pork rolls, and switch them?"
"Good idea," Cologne said. "You're not half-bad, Ranma."
"Thanks," Ranma said. "As for mousse, you save the tainted ones for him, and you control him."
"Good Idea...would get him to do some work around here!" Cologne snapped.
"See you tomorrow," Ranma said.
"See you then," Cologne said as she hung up the phone.
'Well, Shampoo, your plan has backfired already,' Cologne thought to herself as she got cracking with the replacements.
The grey-haired Amazon elder had worked tirelessly through the night to make the safe rolls. Then, when the morning came, she was finished...and she was dead tired. She didn't even sleep in. She swtiched the pork rolls and she hid the tainted ones from Shampoo. Shampoo came down, and she was smiling.
"Morning!" She said happily.
"A good morning child," Cologne said as she hopped about on her giant wooden cane. "What are you doing up so early?"
"I have date with Ranma," Shampoo said. "I go get ready now."
"You do that...and while you're up there, tell Mousse he has to come in today for delivery." Cologne said.
"Sure thing!" She said as she bounded upstairs and she went to take her shower.
However, meanwhile, Kaiba saw Joey and Tristan in their green Furinkan jumpsuits, still pissed with each other about yesterday. Joey was ready to drive somebody into the brittle concrete walkway as he needed an excuse to fight. Tristan wanted the same thing, and Kaiba just had to ask. Though, neither of them could take Kaiba on, even if they jumped him.
"What happened?" Kaiba asked.
"Well, this nasty fucker decided that he wanted to kiss me!" Joey snapped.
"It was your Idea dumbass!" Tristan snapped.
"You know, I will drive you six feet under if you say one more thing," Joey promised...and he always followed through.
"Bring it!" Tristan said as he charged Joey...and got driven six feet through the concrete they just replaced.
"Damn!" Kaiba said backing off. "Joey...how about we go find ourselves some chics?"
"Kaiba, that's cool," Joey said as tristan was driven down to the ground...knocked out.
"Let's go," Kaiba said.
Later on, it was a tense day...Ranma was scared, because he knew that Shampoo would try to do something very, very stupid. Tristan and Joey were ready to have a brawl, that would make Japanese pro wrestling seem tame. Though, when the end of the day came, Ranma booked it back home, and he didn't look back. Once home, he saw that Shampoo was already waiting for him...and she was Ready.
"Nihao," Shampoo greeted with a sly smile across her face, as she had the pure pork rolls in her picnic basket.
"Nihao," Ranma greeted back.
"Airen ready for date?" Shampoo asked.
"Yeah," Ranma said. He didn't have to change or shower, since his gym teacher was out with a cold today.
"Let's go!" She said, and she snatched Ranma up and took him to the park.
"Wow, she's in a hurry," Ryoga said.
"Um-hum," Mousse said. "I was supposed to be in, but I know what that old ghoul is up too, and It ain't going to work!"
"Wow, so you knew she was going to use the tainted rolls on you, eh?"
"Would help if I wasn't right by Ranma when he got the call."
"Harsh, but I like it."
"Yep,"
At the park, Shampoo thought she had everything planned. She had some soda ready, since they both were underage to drink sake. She also had the food spread out. Then she whipped out the pork rolls, rice balls with tuna in it, and of course, some raw vegitables that she packed at the last minute. She gave Ranma his meal as they sat on the traditional red and white checkered blanket, on the green hillside.
"Wow," Ranma said. "You picked the best day to do this."
"Happy, yes?" Shampoo
"Very happy," Ranma said.
Shampoo decided to snap her fingers, but it didn't have an effect on Ranma.
"Shampoo, you're cute, but you ain't that cute," He said.
"What you mean?" Shampoo asked.
"I had your great-grandma switch your pork rolls," Ranma answered
"Why you do that?"
"As sure as this sky is blue, I've went through that once already," Ranma said.
"Oh," Shampoo said simply as the wind was blowing her very short, red Chinese silk dress, with the orchid patterens on it.
"Sorry," Ranma said. "Also, Mousse ain't going near your place now, he knew."
Shampoo was getting pissed, so she whipped out her maces and was ready to kill boy-type Ranma instead. Though, she got shot a look that if he dies then everbody including her is out of the running. She put them away, but she cut the date short on her own accord. Simply because of the heads up that gave it away to both Ranma and Mousse. She packed everything up, and went home...she even rudely took the blanet from under Ranma. As he went home, he went to Mousse and said this.
"She's all yours, Mousse," Ranma said.
"It didn't go well?" Mousee asked..
"Nope, she's pissed and she's ready to kill somebody," He answered.
"I hope your next one goes...better than that." Mousse said.
"I hope so too."
So, this was the first time that happened to Ranma in seven weeks, the girl broke off the date. Cologne destroyed the original pork rolls since they weren't going to do her any good. Mousse never showed up for his job and he gave himself an excuse not to show up to work. As for Saotome...he had two more dates to go, Mai Valentine, and Akane Tendo...hopefully they'll go well.