Author's Note: You know what? I love you all. Your reviews made me feel so good (no bad ones this time!). I think this chapter should be dedicated to all of you, so, in no particular order (actually, it's just the order in which you reviewed), this one's for fille mauvais, NickGilGreggonumber1fan, bauerfreak, Grace124, Transgenic-girl, BeTrAyEd DaUgHtErS (wow, that was hard to type), KittyDoggyLover, jd, nickysbabygirl, 6friends6, Tina, Opal Ocean, CSI-wanna-be23, Little Tussi, csicrazii, Your Spell-Binding Lover, Jayme Beth, Amanda, Nikky's Girl, forgivenunderoath, MollyMKS, Space-Case7029, simone, Trinitystargazer3, and sportnitz. A million thank yous to you all!
To jd: I'm very glad that you liked it. Yes, they watched Men In Black. I know I said in Chapter Two that they got it, but I'm not sure if I did in Chapter Three. Anyway, yes, they did. Soon, Nick will work up the courage to tell her properly…but you'll just have to wait and see! Thanks for reviewing!
To Tina: Haha, I know I'm evil. But it's so much fun, truly. Thanks for the review!
To Opal Ocean: I know, Grissom is really OOC, but I agree with you. I don't think you can ever know how someone's going to react until you put them in that situation. And yes, Long Live Snickers! Thanks for reviewing!
To CSI-wanna-be23: I'll do my best to update this and my other stories as soon and as frequently as I can. Lately my life has been a little hectic and I haven't really had any time to just sit down and write. Anyhoo, thanks for reviewing! (And I quote The Princess Bride – I can actually quote every single line, with or without the movie actually going…cough)
To Your Spell-Binding Lover: No, it was like a month and a half :P YOU'RE gay! I think I shall have to use that joke later in my story. What do you think? Muahaha. The second movie was MIB. Probably one of the best movies ever. Will Smith rocks. But not as much as George. Thanks for reviewing!
To Amanda: I have written a few others (eight to be precise). If you're going to go read them, don't waste your time on Head Over High Heels or Venus Fly Traps and Chalk Dust. They are both quite dumb. Anyway, I'm really glad you like this story, and thank you for reviewing!
To MollyMKS: No worries. I'm glad you still reviewed! I hope you had a nice vacation. Thanks very much for your review!
To simone: Thank you thank you!
SPOILER WARNING – 'NESTING DOLLS'At home, Sara sat on the couch. What I wouldn't give for a good stiff drink, she thought. But she wasn't about to let her little craving jeopardize the baby's health.
She milled over in her mind what Nick had said. Did he really think she was a robot incapable of emotion? I'm not a robot. I just don't like having people see me cry and stuff. I know it's okay to have feelings, and I do have them, I just would rather that other people don't see that, she explained to herself. I have to prove to him that I have feelings and that I know it's okay to have feelings. She didn't really know why, but she resolved herself to let herself show her emotions to Nick, and maybe eventually other people. What did that mean, though? It meant that she cared enough about Nick to change for him, didn't it? As she thought more and more about Nick himself instead of just what he'd said, the more she realized that she didn't just care about him. It was something more than that. Sara was hesitant to call it love, but there was definitely something more between them than friendship.
Nick was mad at himself.
Although what he'd said wasn't meant to be filled with anger, it had come across that way, and now he thought he'd messed it up with Sara. That thought was disconcerting to him because he really liked what they had there for a minute. And as much as he liked that, he also valued their friendship and now he was worried that he'd screwed it up.
Nick had made up his mind. He had to go over and apologize to her, maybe explain himself a little more.
He got into his Denali and started it up, as he began to formulate the words in his mind.
Sara heard a knock at her door. Probably Grissom, she thought to herself disdainfully. She pulled herself off the couch and looked through the peephole. She was surprised to see Nick standing there. Should I let him in? she wondered. I don't really know what to say, but he wouldn't be here unless he had something important to say. After a brief debate with herself, she slid the chain off and opened the door.
"Sara," Nick said, but offered no more than that.
After a minute, Sara deadpanned, "You're surprised?"
"No, no, it's not that…never mind. I came over her because I have to tell you something. Can I come in?"
She sighed, "Sure," and moved to the side to allow him entry, closing the door behind him.
"Look, what I said earlier…it came out wrong. I didn't mean that you don't have feelings, what I meant was that it's okay for you to show your feelings," he tried to explain.
Sara had suspected that's what he meant, and now her thoughts were confirmed. After a minute, she said timidly, "I can't show my feelings."
"Why not?" Nick asked, undemandingly.
"It's a long story," Sara said, unwilling to tell him about her past. Only Grissom knew about that, and that was one more person than she wanted to know.
"I've got time," Nick said, "unless, of course, you want me to leave."
"No, no, stay," Sara implored. She sighed. "I'll tell you. But I have to warn you, this will be hard for me. I only ever told one person before."
Nick made himself comfortable on the couch, and Sara sat down in the big overstuffed armchair next to it, hugging her knees to her chest and taking a deep breath.
"When I was growing up," she started, " there were three unwritten rules in my house. Rule Number One: Don't talk. Rule Number Two: Don't trust. Rule Number Three: Don't feel. My father…well, he was fine up until I was about six. You know, he was a typical dad, we did typical things, I got into typical trouble, and he dealt with it typically. But when I turned six, his punishment started changing. Before, he'd just give me a time-out, or take away a toy for a week or something like that. But eventually he started to spank me, and sometimes even hit me. At first, it was just as a punishment. I learned to deal with it. But soon, he started to find fault in just about everything I did, and punish me for all of it. Even the little things, like missing a dish when I was supposed to load the dishwasher, or leaving my shoes out when I got home from school. I was beaten nearly every day by the time I was eight. My mother…" Sara stopped for a minute, and her eyes brightened briefly as if a sad but pleasant memory had crossed her mind. "Mom was never like that. She tried to keep my dad away from my brother and me, but she usually ended up getting beaten too. She was always afraid to leave him. She thought he'd come after us and kill us all. All my mom ever wanted to do was protect us." Sara had to stop for a minute to wipe a tear from her eye.
Nick said nothing, not wanting to interrupt her or discourage her from going on. Once she had regained her composure, she continued. "When I was eleven…I remember. I'd just gotten home from school. Dad came after me the moment I walked in the door, yelling something about my bed not being made that day. Mom stepped in front of him and tried to keep him off me. Then he hit her on the face, and then a few punches, more and more aggressively, and I could tell that this one was worse than the rest. I can remember it all: the shouting, the sound of him punching her, her screams…and worst of all, the awful feeling of being rooted to the spot and not being able to do anything." Sara had long ago stopped trying to wipe her tears away. They were falling freely now, and for the first time in her life, she didn't care that somebody else was seeing her cry. "We were in the kitchen. The back door led right into it, and that's the way I came in from school. There was a big knife on the counter, and my dad was forcing Mom towards it. She grabbed it off the counter and just slashed. One stroke; that was it. Right across his neck, and he just dropped to the floor. There was arterial spray everywhere. It was the first time in my life I'd ever seen so much blood. He was dead right away, I know it. But my mom…she's the one who called 911, not me, not my brother. You see, she didn't mean to kill him. She wanted to get him away from her. I could tell that if she hadn't done that, he would have beaten her to death, and he would've come after me next. And then she didn't want him to be dead. She wanted the paramedics to come and save his life. Then the ambulance came, and so did the police." Quietly, Sara finished with, "Mom was taken away in handcuffs."
She didn't sound like she was going to go on, so Nick spoke up. "Why didn't she just claim self-defence?" he asked.
"She tried," Sara said. "But I was the only eyewitness, and nobody's going to believe an eleven-year-old girl. It was so obviously self-defence, though. It was only one stroke, and he was beating her. The prosecutor said that I would say whatever it took in order to keep my mother out of prison, and that you don't know for sure that he would have killed her, and that maybe he would have stopped, and… maybe, maybe, maybe. That's all I remember about the trial. 'Maybe'." She spat the word out. "Mom's been in prison ever since. For a murder that wasn't a murder."
Nick's heart had long since melted, and he reached out a hand to cover hers. "Oh, Sara…I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry," she said. "It's not your fault."
"It's not yours either, Sara."
Author's Note: Whew. That took a long time to come up with, and not very much even happened. Personally, I'm quite proud of that recounting of Sara's father's murder. It's my favourite that I've written. (I mean, I've only written two, including this one, but I still like it better than the other one.) I love reviews!