Onya couldn't sleep.

She kept tossing and turning in her bed, huffing in annoyance and sending dark looks to the round moon that seemed determined to keep her awake. Onya didn't believe in any god, but lately she was starting to wonder if someone, somewhere, wasn't messing with her life. Maybe Titus wasn't wrong, maybe Kassi really was the Moon's Daughter. Maybe her mother was up there, looking at her and fucking up with her mind. Maybe she was the one responsible for all of this madness, maybe all of this was just a game or a vengeance for Kassi's daughter.

The possibilities were endless.

Just like the possible outcomes of tomorrow's fight. Kassi was way too confident in her own victory, Onya had never seen her like that. Yes, she was halfway crazy and delusional, but Onya knew it was just a show, a way to make everyone laugh and relax, but right now, she knew she was completely serious.

And it was terrifying. Because Onya knew it: Kassi would never beat someone as experienced as Erik. Maybe Onya herself could take him in a fight and win, but Kassi, scrawny, small Kassi with just a too-heavy sword in her hands and absolutely no fear of God in her heart would never.

Tonight was her last night on this earth, and Onya didn't know if she should be relieved that at least the next one wouldn't be her first in the sky.

She let out a groan of mixed annoyance and frustration, ready to grab her bow and arrow just to shoot a few at the moon, to annoy it.

The door to Onya's room swung open and she immediately sat up, her hand on her dagger. Kassi barged into her bedroom, half slamming the door behind her, didn't even look at her as she crossed the room, throwing herself on the side of the bed Onya wasn't occupying, dragging the furs up to her chin.

Onya remained motionless, rendered speechless by surprise and amazement. Kassi had refused to be in the same room as her for weeks, and now she was within reach, Onya could even smell the lavender oil in her hair.

"Skaifaya-"

"Shut up," Kassi retorted harshly, her voice cold. "Shut up and let me talk."

Onya didn't even think of scolding her for her insolence.

"I am not going to die tomorrow, even if you don't believe me, but I owe you a story, the whole story."

Silence.

"Actually, scratch that, I don't owe you shit. You saved my life, now you're stuck with me. As people say, God wanted me dead, now you get to find out why."

Onya, sitting stupidly on her bed, still dared not move. After a long moment of silence, Kassi's voice continued firmly:

"My mom was beautiful, wild curly hair, gorgeous dark eyes. My dad liked her, I think, but not enough to imagine having a family with her. When she found out she was pregnant, he literally threw a tantrum."

Onya could literally feel her rolling her eyes.

"Before the end of the world, he would have just walked away and disappeared across the country, but we were stuck in a space station, and he had no other choice but to claim the baby, or he would get ridiculed, loose his position in the Council and so on. The only thing that could have made it better for was if the baby was a boy."

She still had her back to him, but Onya could hear the sarcasm in her voice perfectly.

"As you can see, he was very disappointed. And when I was born, he started to see a way out."

She thoughtfully fidgeted a lock of white hair.

"You see, my father's skin is dark, much darker than yours and even darker than Lincoln's. When I came out as white as the moon, he claimed that my mother had cheated on him, that I wasn't his. No matter what the doctors said, no matter how many times they explained albinism to him, he didn't want to listen. He didn't want a kid, and he wanted to get rid of me."

She turned around suddenly, cracked a smile.

"My mom, she had the Sickness of the Soul, too. From a very young age. And when you are being manipulated and constantly belittled by the man you love despite yourself, you can't get better. And when you can't get better, this sickness turns into another one, that we call 'psychosis', on the Ark. It makes you see, hear, sense and believe things that aren't there. And my father took advantage of this. He kept convincing her that I wasn't his daughter, that I was responsible for her pain. She was vulnerable, and she ended up hating me."

She winces.

"I believe that, deep down, she still loved me more than anything, and that's why she aimed badly."

Onya didn't know what to answer and kept silent.

"She tried to kill a guy, on her way home, when he asked her if she was okay. Abby, the chief of the healers, as you may say, pledged that she was mentally unstable, that she hadn't wanted this, but they found countless proofs that I was her original target."

Onya did not move.

"They floated her one morning, and she didn't even recognize me as they put her in the execution cell."

She smiled.

"Now, that's where the story gets dirty. I had a kid, as you already know, a little girl I had adopted from the moment she was born. The thing about the Ark, is that there isn't much space. We all live on top of each other. If we were on the Ground, I would have taken her, moved across the ocean, so that she would never have to see my father."

A big tear rolled down her nose.

"The Ark is dying, Anya. The Ark is malfunctioning and it's all my father's fault. I don't know what he did or how he did it, or even if it was an accident, all I know is that he messed up the system, he released oxygen, he condemned us. He had planned to keep it a secret, but, unfortunately for him, his granddaughter surprised him talking to someone about this."

She hiccupped a sob.

"She was a kid. She was just a kid, Anya. She was going to tell someone, anyone, just like kids do. And I mean, she did. She told me. Little words there, sentences here, I only pieced it together when she died. I should have realized sooner. Maybe if I had, I could have saved her."

She tried in vain to wipe away the tears that continued to roll down her cheeks.

"He killed her. I found her one night, bleeding, with a shattered plate next to her. To make it look like an accident. I screamed so loud I'm pretty sure you heard me from the Ground. Rushed to the hospital, and there, they took her from my arms. Didn't even have time to say goodbye."

She swallowed hard.

"What happened next, you know it. Snuck out, stole a suit, went to the fucking pod and yeeted myself into space. And I still managed to fail my own death."

Onya squeezed her hand in hers.

"I'm sorry, Kassi."

"I am too."

Silence. Onya still didn't know what to do, so she didn't do anything, keeping quiet and immobile.

Kassi put an arm around her waist, guiding Onya until she lay back in bed, then scooched closer to her until she could rest her forehead against her shoulder.

"Now shut up. Shut up and let me sleep. I got a guy to kill tomorrow."