A/N: I would have had this up yesterday, only the document manager is acting completely screwy. Thanks to user "imloopy" for showing me the way around the problem! Thank you all for the wonderful reviews, and I'm sorry I made some of you cry, lol. I love angst!

There's still one more chapter coming after this one, so don't let the ending convince you otherwise. This is my longest chapter yet, going well over 2,000 words! Read, review and enjoy!

Ch 16 - Home

I've been practicing medicine well over thirty years.

During those thirty years I've been the hand that reaches in and stops death. I've witnessed miraculous recoveries...and a lot of death. I survived a life changing operation and came out more of a jackass than I went in with. I pushed people away, treated them harshly and told myself I'd never let a person break the carefully constructed barrier I'd spent years building - it worked for me. I made a career out of being unhappy.

Then she came along.

"Hello Dr. House, it's wonderful to meet you - my name is Dr. Allison Cameron," were the first words she ever spoke to me - hand extended.

I remember looking at Wilson, that eager puppy dog look in his eyes - silently pleading at me to hire this girl. I remember looking at him and making some wise ass joke about what his current wife would think if she were here right now - Dr. Cameron watching intently the whole time, a look of amusement in her eyes. I remember looking at her and thinking, "Why not? She'll be fun to look at!" What I didn't tell anybody at the time, and wouldn't admit had my life depended on it...was that I was attracted to her the moment I laid eyes on her.

The look in her eyes as I told her she was hired, was one that would haunt me for the rest of my life. She looked directly into my eyes and smiled - I believe she knew from that moment on… we would have a long history together.

"I'm uh. Do you like monster trucks?"

"I don't know what they are."

"Right, I got two tickets...Friday night."

"You asking me to go with you?"

"Sure, sounds good."

"Like a date?"

"Exactly...except for the date part."

She was the only person to break down the barriers and bring me back to the world of the living...the world of the feeling. It was a world I thought I'd lost so many years ago, as I laid in a hospital bed, facing a life filled with pain.

I sat at her desk, holding the photo - the photo that signaled the starting point to a life changed. I ran my fingers over the image of the two of us, remembering every detail from that night...

"What is that?"

"Don't tell me you've never seen a digital camera before?"

"I know what it IS...what you have it OUT for is what I'm wondering?"

"We have to have a photo House, this is my first monster truck rally!"

"Might be your last if you don't put that thing away..."

She'd pulled me over to a spot in front of Gravedigger and told me to wait right there. Snagging down the first person that walked by, she asked if he'd mind taking a photo of us. Happily agreeing, the man grabbed her digital camera and Allison walked back over to me. I remember the complete shock as she threw her arms around my shoulders, her leg popping up backwards - a big comical smile upon her face.

I ran my fingers over the glass again and smiled to myself, spying the annoyance I'd faked as she posed for the photo. It had been a perfect night...I'm glad she thought to document it in some way. We'd gone back to her place after the truck rally...she invited me up for coffee and we spent two hours talking about work. She never once pressured me to talk about anything not pertaining to work - so unlike the woman she was at the hospital. Allison outside of work was a whole new experience.

I placed the photo back onto the desk and picked up another. With hollow emotion, I stared at the picture of myself asleep on my office lounge chair. My little girl, only four years old at the time, was asleep in my arms. A huge medical text lay open on my lap - Alexandra had come to me that day, begging to learn about some disease in particular...I can't remember which one, but she wouldn't leave me alone till I'd pulled out a book to show her. Two pages into it, she'd fallen asleep - clutching the ridiculous stuffed brain with eyes Foreman had given her on her last birthday. I don't even remember Allison taking this photo. I just remember...

I dropped the photo back onto the desk and pushed it away before my thoughts ran away with me. I needed to stop doing this to myself.

I was going to get up and leave when I spotted another photo, perched atop Allison's bookshelf. I pulled it down and sat forcefully into her desk chair.

It was a picture from our wedding day - the both of us standing together upon a bridge...a beautiful waterfall in the background, cascading into a pond filled with lazily swimming fish.

I hardly recognized myself…I was actually smiling. Allison looked absolutely beautiful - I remember how my breathing faltered when she appeared at the end of the aisle, 'Greensleeves' playing softly in the background. I remember standing next to Wilson at the front of the aisle, thinking from this point on...my past was history. She'd chosen me - brought me out of the darkness and into the light. I had begun to change, and according to Wilson - they'd all noticed it. The kicker? I hadn't cared at all.

That light had since disappeared. The darkness was once again overpowering...

I looked at the photo again, anger brewing and running quickly through my veins.

Ipitched the heavy metal frame with the photo across the room with all of my strength, watching as it flew through the air. I barely cared as it smacked the glass wall in front of me, shattering it. I barely cared as a crowd grew outside the office door, or as Cuddy walked over the glass and into the office. I kept my head in my hands and barely flinched as Cuddy walked over to me and put a hand on my shoulder.

Jumpingup out of the seat andleaving the office, I couldn't have cared less about the broken glass on the floor.

As far as I was concerned, those broken shards lying all over the hallway floor - resembled my life.

I went up to the roof and stood at the edge, watching as the moon rose over Princeton.

It was only three hours ago that I stood in the operating room observation lounge, watching as they repaired the massive damage to my wife's frail body. Two gunshots to the lower abdomen, two to the right upper quadrant...and one to the back of her neck.

I stood at that window, watching - only pausing as a nurse from the downstairs emergency room entered.

My thoughts ran a mile a minute as she updated me on the condition of my daughter. Various cuts and bruises, a mild concussion...those would all heal in time. The real kicker was when the nurse told me about the most serious of her injuries.

Sepsis had set in, resulting from Vogler's gunshot wound to her leg and no immediate medical attention. Massive tissue death - they could try and remove the dead tissue and let her keep her leg, or remove it at the knee...which was her best chance for survival without a life full of pain. Cruel irony - as if I didn't have enough to deal with at the moment, I found myself making a decision I found scarily familiar.

I asked the nurse to give me a few moments alone to think (okay, I ordered her out).

Was this what Stacy had gone through? What would Allie want? Could I trust a fourteen year old to make a decision like this? If I didn't give them permission, would she turn into a miserable cripple like me? I took a quick look at my life, and realized I didn't want that for Allie. I wanted her to have the best chance at life possible...not to be in pain the rest of it - I wanted her to really LIVE.

The nurse came back a moment later, and handed me the clipboard. I looked out the observation lounge window and back at the clipboard. I scrawled my name on the signature line, and handed it back to the nurse. I didn't want to admit it to myself at the time...but looking down at my own leg, I now realized why Stacy did what she did. Maybe some day I'd even thank her for it.

Monitors whining and the frenzied scurry of surgeons and nurses brought me back from my thoughts.

I watched as surgeons frantically tried to control the bleeding that was now overpowering them. I watched as they brought the paddles to Allison's heart, trying desperately to restart it. I watched for forty-five minutes exactly, as they repeated this routine, trying to bring her back. I watched as Cuddy entered the room and stood next to me, just in time to see the surgeons pull the white sheet over Allison and call her time of death.

Bringing myself back into the present once more, I stared up into the night sky...silently pleading for some sign that everything was going to be alright.

Dark clouds chose that very moment to move in front of the moon…bringing everything into a cloud of darkness.

It was well after three in the morning when I stepped out of the elevators with Wilson, headed up to the Intensive Care Unit.

It was only months ago that I'd taken this same walk, headed to see the daughter I'd lost so many years ago. Things fell eerily silent as I walked down the hospital hallway, walking towards Chase, who was standing in the doorway to Alexandra's room. He'd been up here with Wilson and Foreman all night long, waiting for Allie to get out of surgery. I lightly placed my hand on Chase's shoulder as I approached the room - he nodded, surprised, but realizing it was my own way of thanking him for everything he'd done. I left them all at the doorway and moved into the room, shutting the glass door behind me as I did so.

I stood with my back to her, trying to brace myself. How was I going to turn around and face a child who looked so much like Allison, and tell her that her mother was dead? I closed my eyes, ready to turn around and wake her up.

"She's gone, isn't she?"

I turned around to face the weak voice that had come from the bed.

I tried to remain expressionless as I stared at my battered and bruised little girl, now missing a leg - but found her staring directly at me with much more bravado than I have ever been able to muster, all the years of my life.

I walked closer and sat down on the edge of the bed, and listened as she repeated the same question.

I nodded, watching as tears slowly found their way down her cheeks.

"I acted like a jerk and pushed her away...the entire time she never stopped caring about me. I treated her so badly - yet she gave her life for me. No...she gave her life for US."

All it took were those words to bring down the walls. Not caring if the entire ICU staff, Foreman, Chase or Wilson witnessed it - I broke down. I cried openly with my daughter right there in her hospital room for the very first time.

Allie cried for the mother she'd pushed away, and I cried for the person who'd given me the most happiness I'd ever known. We both cried for the one we'd never see again.

One month later we gathered to bury Allison's ashes and say goodbye to the woman we'd all loved.

Hundreds of people had shown up to the church for the service. It was the same church Allison and I had joined hands in marriage, and it would now become the church I said goodbye to her in. Former patients, friends, family and almost the entire hospital staff had shown up this morning - all here to pay respects to a woman who'd never faltered in her kindness. I glanced to the back of the church and felt a small surge of happiness, knowing Allison was loved by so many - people packed the pews and congregated through the door, out the entryway and down the steps to the church entrance.

In front of us all, lay a white casket bearing the ashes of Allison Cameron-House. A beautiful arrangement of pale pink and white roses adorned the top, blossoming around a single framed photograph. A photo of Allison in her lab coat, leaning against the office door - smiling.

xxx

An hour later, a much smaller group gathered at the grave sight, before the casket. Allison's parents had chosen to go ahead to the reception, their aging bodies not permitting a walk through the hilly cemetery to their daughter's final resting place.

Foreman, Chase, Cuddy and Wilson stood back a short distance, leaving myself and Alexandra to stand before Allison.

Allie remained dry eyed, now standing tall upon the prosthetic leg she'd just started using - completely silent. At fourteen she'd already gone through more than I'd wish for anybody to experience in life. A kidnapping, traumatic return to us, another kidnapping, losing her leg...losing her mother. Her road was not over either. The kidney damage she'd acquired from the sepsis had been quite significant. She had a future full of dialysis ahead of her, ultimately leading up to a kidney transplant...considering a donor was found. She'd remained quite unspoken about everything - not mentioning that night in the hospital, not caring to discuss anything pertaining to her health. She spent the days in a sickening silence…she had changed, and it scared everyone.

We waited to bury Allison till Allie was upright and on her feet ... so she could say goodbye. I looked again at my daughter,a melancholy look upon her face as she looked everywhere,taking interest in everything but the coffin lyingdirectly in front of her- she was a stronger person than I'd ever be...I hope she'd one day be able to find peace with her past.

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust," spoke the minister Allison's very religious parents had insisted on having present.

Cuddy started crying and walked away from the gravesight. Wilson nodded at me and went off to console her, Chase and Foreman following right behind.

As the minister left to give us a few moments alone, my daughter took a few unsteady steps towards her mother. Shepulled two roses off the top of the casket arrangement and stuck them into her purse...carefully moving a few feet back from me, starting to walk away.

I moved closer to the casket and ran my hand along the shiny white surface.

"I was wrong. You just couldn't love me…"

"Everybody lies, Allison. I hope you realized that," I said quietly to the casket, "I've always loved you... I always will."

I was going to run my hand once more along the surface, when a small hand caught mine. I turned and looked directly in the bright blue eyes of my daughter. She tightened her hand around mine and gave me a sad smile.

"Come on dad...let's go home."

THE END

Epilogue to follow!