The Baby Diaries Part II
Chapter 4: Mistakes and Mixed-Matched Feelings
~Baby~
It's never not complicated.
…
"Ginger Girls…how classy." Faye drew out the comment as she popped an almond into her mouth.
"Tell me about it."
Spike and Faye were seated in a corner of the Ginger Girls nightclub, located on the lower south side of Alba City. It wasn't the nicest of places, but also wasn't the foulest. Paul was due to meet Adams there an hour prior. He was late and Faye could tell that Spike was on edge about it. It was unlike him to be nervous about things like that. They suspected Juarez had caught word of his bounty and was trying to be discreet or planning to stand them up. It was decided they would wait another hour, if he didn't show by then, they would have to call it a night.
Faye followed his line of vision to the various half naked women in the distance.
"What a sacrifice you have to make."
67u8i
He brushed off her sarcasm while he chugged down the rest of his whiskey. It probably wasn't the best thing to be doing on the job, but if she could, Faye knew she would join right in. She briefly pondered over the actual effects a small amount of alcohol would have on her breast milk. There wasn't much to do while waiting around in a club and Spike certainly wasn't the dancer type.
"Just keeping myself entertained," he answered.
Faye slumped against the booth, "I hate all this waiting around. Well, I guess it's just nice to be out…" Her words were actually half there, and she knew it. As much as she had wanted to get out, her mind kept wandering to the baby.
"That's the name of the game," Spike answered.
"Which game? Bounty hunting or new parenthood?"
"Both I guess."
"You get out all the time."
"It's not like I'm out enjoying myself."
"No? I thought you loved getting stuff blown up and being shot at."
He grinned, "not particularly." Faye felt some relief at getting a different reaction from him. He had been so static the entire night. Sometimes it felt like she really knew him and other times it was like conversating with a stranger.
She popped in another almond. It grew quiet between the two.
"What's with you?" she finally asked. "If he shows up- if he doesn't, then that's that."
"We need the money." He answered simply enough.
She leaned forward with interest, "That's funny. Not like you to worry about things like money." She chuckled, "you sound like Jet."
He glared at her. "I think that's an exaggeration."
"Well, a very mild version of him."
With a sigh he moved to take another sip from his whiskey, but it was already empty. He placed it back down with disappointment.
Faye pursed her lips, concerned that she was missing something. Money was certainly more necessary than it ever had been, but she was so accustomed to ignoring her money troubles and she hadn't paid too much mind to it. Perhaps this was one of the rare moments Faye should follow Spike's lead. This was work of course, not a night out. She shook her head. She was relieved to be doing something outside of the ship. It was a breath of fresh air regardless of what it was.
Then every time she thought that way, the image of Ray's distressed and crying face popped into her mind.
Was it wrong to enjoy some time away?
Was this a genuine feeling of…guilt?
The idea of him crying made her wonder if he had gotten to bed just yet.
She checked the time.
"He's probably up…" she spoke quietly, mostly to herself. For a moment she felt a soar of panic at the thought that she didn't leave enough food for him, but then she recalled she had left plenty extra just in case.
"Do you think we should call?" she questioned, a little louder.
"Call who?" he was focused on the bar entrance.
"Jet."
"Why? Nothing's happened yet."
"No. To make sure he went to sleep."
"Who Jet?"
"No, why would I want to know if Jet is asleep?"
"Who?"
"Ray, Spike!"
He flinched, just slightly, at her sudden booming voice and looked her way. For the first time in an hour, she was sure.
Faye rolled her eyes and decided not to fight for once.
"Forget it. Do you think I should call or not?"
"What for?"
"Well…I usually put him to sleep, what if he can't sleep cause I'm not there?"
His brows furrowed with confusion.
"I'm sure he can manage one night."
"I don't know. He doesn't tire easy. What if he's screaming his head off? What if he's been like that the whole night? Or what if something happened? Isn't it weird that Jet hasn't called yet?"
Faye's mind began to whirl into a series of worst-case scenarios. She glanced at her comm to check for any missed calls or messages.
"Take it easy, would you? I'm sure he's fine. Jet would have called if something was wrong."
"Not if he can't get to his comm," she muttered, typing in Jet's call code.
"Hey-"
"Give it a rest, I'm just gonna call alright?"
He placed a hand over her communicator which caught her attention. She looked up to find him starring off towards the entrance, where a man had just entered in a gold coat. The giveaway for their meeting.
"That's him."
Spike nodded with confirmation.
Time for work.
…
Hours Earlier…
"Alright Ed. It's just you, me and Ray."
Ein barked from his place at Jet's feet, the man gave a nod to the dog, "and you Ein."
"The four musky tears," Edward chanted.
"Sure. Something like that."
The four of them were in the common room ready to eat dinner. Instead of bringing out Ray's entire crib, Jet fashioned a fort like entity around the main room table for him. It was cushioned by blankets and Ray laid there with Faye's bracelet gripped tightly in his hand and occasionally in his mouth.
"Ed's hungry," she cried.
"I know, I know. Don't get bratty on me. Watch him like a hawk." Jet instructed sternly.
Edward took a strong, military like, stance over the baby.
"Aye, aye captain!"
With that, he left to the kitchen to prepare their food. It wasn't anything special, as usual, they were splitting the last two cups of noodles. He prayed to someone that Spike and Faye would be successful in their hunt tonight, but his intuition told him otherwise. With a grunt, he tried to stay positive as he poured the noodles into the bowls. After retrieving the baby's bottle from the fridge, Jet stepped back into the room to find Edward still on high alert over the cooing infant. He smiled and shook his head, she was still charming in the oddest ways.
"Alright, at ease soldier. Get your chow."
Edward instantly shed her persona and jumped up with excitement, "yay!" she sat down as Jet handed her a bowl of noodles. "That's all there is, eat slowly!"
"Mmhmm!" she said, mouth already occupied by a forkful.
"Ein." Ein barked and jumped around with excitement as Jet poured a little bit from his own bowl into the dog dish.
"Alright. You should both be happy now." He smiled down at Ray who was temporarily satisfied in his own world. "And you don't worry, you're next." Jet set the bottle down in the corner of Ray's makeshift crib.
He sat down and the three of them ate in silence, no need for words or annoying television, just sweet appreciation for the food they were given. In moments it was broken by Ray's agitated complaints. Jet paused mid slurp to find him gazing at his bottle.
"Oh, you're hungry now?" he checked the time, "it's not time yet little bud…look just gimmie a second I promise you'll get it." Jet quickly finished off the rest of the noodles from his chopsticks, but just as he went in for another bite, Ray's whines turned into cries of anger.
"Oh come on, if you hadn't seen the bottle you wouldn't even care!"
"That was Jet-person's big mistake," Edward chimed with a laugh.
"Yeah. Thanks for pointing it out Ed."
Ray's cries persisted as he tossed away the bracelet. Jet considered letting him cry it out for a while longer, but a part of him felt like that would be too cruel. He couldn't eat while the poor kid was just hungry.
"Alright, alright." Jet set his bowl aside and quickly pointed a finger at Edward, "don't even think about touching this."
Edward chuckled again and replied to him with a mouthful "aye, aye!" she repeated.
Jet picked Ray up from the table and nestled him into his fleshed arm then picked up the bottle with his free hand. "Ed, get that pillow and put it under my elbow."
"Okay!" Edward had already finished her food, despite Jet's warning to eat slowly, and did as he asked. Jet settled on the sofa with Ray and watched as he calmed when the bottle was finally obtained.
"There we go."
Ray's contentment lasted about a split second before his face screwed up and he burst out crying again.
"Wha- what is it?!" Jet called as he pulled the bottle away from him. Within a moment he realized he bottle in his hand was cold.
"Damn it, I forgot to heat it up."
"Uh-oh! Cold milk-milk is a no-no." Edward stated, though Jet didn't pay her much mind as he set the baby back onto the table.
"Watch him!"
Ray's crying continued while Jet waited for the water in the sink to turn warm. "I'll just run it under the warm water. That should work." Suddenly it grew silent, Jet sent his focus in the direction of the common room, "Ed?" It didn't last long before the cries started up again.
"Ed tried to give him the sucky toy, but he spit it out!"
Jet groaned and checked the water again, but it was still cold. "Great. No hot water. Just what I need." Another idea came to mind, so he reached for a pot and filled it with water to boil on the stove. Just as he turned the burner on, it popped and went out. "Shit! Are you kidding me?!" Taking a deep breath, he went through solutions in his head. "Alright, that's how we'll do it."
He stepped back out to find Edward jumping around hysterically, "what are you doing?"
"What if he cries all night again?!" She pulled at her puffy locks with worry. Ein whimpered and hid his face with his paws.
"Calm down! You're probably making it worse." Jet reached in for a spare blanket and wrapped the bottle in it snuggly.
"If you're gonna be whiney about it," he directed to Ray, "you're gonna have to wait. Here's what we'll do Ed. We'll find a way to distract him while the bottle gets to room temperature. Can you help me?"
"Mmmm, okay!" she sat down on the yellow sofa and Jet joined her with the baby in arms. His face was red from his frustration.
"Now I don't appreciate this behavior of yours Ray," he reprimanded through his screams, "but it is what it is, so we'll get through this together."
Edward watched with interest.
"That's right. Okay hey, hey look at me!" Jet gave Ray a little wiggle to get his attention, but he stayed aggravated. "Oh, come on kid, you gotta get tired sometime. Ed give me Faye's bracelet."
Edward moved to retrieve Faye's bracelet and handed it to Ray, but he didn't accept it. "It's not working Jet-person!"
Jet tried to keep his patience, so he took a deep breath. "I know Ed. It's alright, we just gotta keep our heads on."
He positioned Ray in the nook of his arm again and began to rock him, however Ray continued to trash and cry as if life depended on it. Jet groaned through the frustration, but he continued different baby calming maneuvers.
"What's that?" Edward asked as Jet held Ray up and wove him around like he was flying.
"No clue, I saw it in a movie once."
Edward giggled and muttered something about Papa Jet.
"Damn it," he grumbled, "Ed, you try something."
He sat Ray up on his knee then Edward was suddenly frozen. He'd learned, over time, that it was one of Ed's thinking mannerisms, so he didn't question it. After a moment she moved with excitement and he knew an idea came to mind.
"Ed's got it!" Then she began to twist around and make silly faces. Jet stared at her with disbelief, wondering if that was truly the best thing she could come up with. Her tongue hung out, her eyes posed wide and her arms formed odd shapes. Then she started to make funny noises. He sighed with defeat.
Yet, after a few moments of that, Ray's crying slowed until it stopped completely. Jet looked down at him with total shock. Then the craziest of the craziest, Ray started laughing. Laughing at Edward as she continued her antics. Then it hit him, of course it was the best thing Ed could come up with and it was perfect.
He smiled.
…
Spike didn't know how it could have gone so horribly wrong.
It was simple enough. Juarez showed up with only two men at his side. Spike suspected a guy like that would have a larger gang waiting in the outskirts, but no one else ever showed.
When they moved outside for the deal to take place, ridding themselves of the extra men was almost too easy.
They had Juarez in custody, Faye checked him for weapons, but one simple misstep could change the course of the entire game.
It was too easy.
He removed his eyes for one moment before Faye's grunt of pain brought him back. He turned just in time to see Juarez turn a corner, but his instinct to run after him never came. He focused in on the bleeding woman before him.
Just like that.
Shit.
…
"How could you miss something like that?!"
"For the millionth time, I thought I checked everything Spike!"
The two of them entered the dark common room of the ship, well into their heated argument as Spike physically helped Faye towards the sofa. He knew her side had to be aching and a shouting match was probably not the best thing for her to be doing, but he stubbornly let his anger take over.
"You should have checked again!"
"Would you ease the hell up and let go of me!"
They both stood before the sofa. Spike let go and watched as she struggled to settle down by herself.
"You didn't even have a first aid kit in your ship." He jabbed.
Faye scoffed. "Neither did you. Don't act like you've never screwed up a bounty before Spike! Where do you get off lecturing me?"
Jet attempted not to stomp down the hallway as he came through with his harsh whispers, "don't you two know there is a sleeping baby on board, what the hell is going on?"
It seemed to Spike that almost everyday Jet only entered the room to calm a fight.
Faye's mood suddenly lifted with interest, "How was he? Is he asleep? Did he eat okay?"
Jet beamed with pride, "he's been asleep for four hours straight, I think he might sleep through the night!"
Spike grunted as he moved to get the first aid kit.
It was then that Jet noticed Faye holding her side. There was blood seeping through her top and onto her hand. His joy quickly morphed into worry. "What happened to you?"
"She let herself get shanked, that's what." Spike claimed this as he shuffled through the nearby closet for the supplies.
"What?!"
"I did not! It's not like I saw him with a knife and waited patiently for the blow." Spike found the kit. "And it's not a shank, it's a slice! A minor slice." Faye shaped her fingers for emphasis.
He wasn't sure of how bad the wound was, clearly not bad enough for her to pass out from, but she was still bleeding and sounded slightly winded when she spoke.
"Maybe you should stop talking Faye," Jet suggested as he turned on the main light.
She continued anyway.
"How was I supposed to know the guy had another knife on him?"
"You should have been more thorough," Spike muttered with frustration as he dug for the sanitizing supplies. Jet's muffled groan could be heard behind him as he took out the bandages.
"Oh. Well thanks for informing me on that Mr. Perfectly Thorough. Since when are you so good at your job?!"
He stopped.
"Excuse me for taking the job seriously for once!"
"I take it seriously! That's-" her winded words were interrupted with a sharp groan. Spike stiffened as she hunched in pain and appeared to press tighter into her side.
"Shit that hurts…" she muttered.
He sighed, feeling somewhat guilty for continuing the argument. He poured the anti-bacterial medicine onto a cotton towel. When it was soaked enough, he sat on the table in front of her and leaned forward to raise her shirt up, but she swatted his hand away, "I got it." She took the cloth from him and gently pressed it against the small gash with a hiss from sting.
Jet muttered something else, inaudible to him.
Ray's muffled cry in the distance caught all of their attention. Jet spoke up, "awe...Damn it! I knew you were gonna wake him up." He raised his hands up before they could do anything about it. "I got it. Just…" he handed the bandages to Spike and gestured to Faye as an indication for him to stay and help her. Then he walked away.
Spike silently wished Jet had let him go instead. He clearly wouldn't be of any help to her, given the air. He watched as she tried to tend to her wound, she was having trouble seeing it properly and was mumbling things to herself with a peeved attitude. Perhaps he was being overdramatic, he thought. It wasn't really her fault; it was a mistake he could have easily made himself. He never once thought of himself as dramatic in any sense of the word. Showing off was one thing, but never drama. Of course, ever since Faye came along, he discovered a vehemence he didn't know he was capable of before. He did have to give her credit for that.
Faye fumbled with the bloody cloth. It was a lot of blood. She needed a new one.
His hand clenched on his knee.
Is she going to ask me?
Probably not, if he guessed it right, she would try to get up for another one herself.
Just as expected, she strained in attempt to stand.
Stubborn woman.
"Sit down."
She glared at him, but without another word, he took the bloody towel from her hands. Instead of giving him the biting reply he expected, she sat back without complaint. He wondered if she was feeling weak.
"Are you lightheaded?"
"No."
He looked back at her, "do you feel tired?"
"Stop talking to me like you're a nurse. Give me that." She reached for the new towel, but he held it away from her.
"Let me see. You can't bend that way."
Faye glared again, but she knew he was right. He held back a natural smug grin. With a huff, she carefully twisted herself over so he would have access to the gash.
Spike sat next to her with the towel, but before he continued the cleaning, he took a good look at the injury. The pierce wasn't very deep, but it was deep enough to cause plenty of bleeding and would likely need stitches. He felt an unexpected sense of relief wash over him, as if a stiff tension had been released. He didn't realize he was that worried about how bad it actually was. His line of vision trailed over her exposed stomach. He had gotten used to her roundness; it was strange to see her somewhat normal. She was plumper than he remembered from months past, but more like herself. An odd sense of endearment came upon him next.
Faye leaned against the back of the sofa with her forehead nestled in her hand. "I'm not gonna need stitches, am I?"
He paused, then finally began to clean the wound "yeah."
She fidgeted at the contact. "Damn it."
"It's not that big of a deal. I've had plenty of them."
"I'm aware. Just let Jet do it, alright? I don't want you messing me up."
He chuckled loosely, "I've done stitches before you know?"
"Oh, I'm sure you've received more than you've given."
He thought about it and shrugged, "you got me." He knew on the ship called Bebop, that was the truth. Jet had only been injured a handful of times and Faye, hardly ever. Not the way she was now. They had all faced a great share of danger at some point, but somehow Faye always managed to come out scot-free. He pondered on that for a moment, wondering if that's what set him off to begin with.
That jolt of fear.
Was that it?
They were quiet a few moments longer. Faye's wound was finally clean, and the bleeding had slowed. He moved to reach for a piece of gauze, something to cover her with until Jet returned for stiches.
It came to mind that Ray's crying had stopped too.
"Why didn't you chase after the bounty?" Faye suddenly asked.
Spike turned her way, fresh gauze in hand.
"What do you mean?"
"You could have caught up to him."
He sighed, not understanding why it mattered.
"Why does it matter?" He gently placed the gauze over the tender wound.
"Like you said, we need the money." She was looking at him, but he was focused on covering the wound and avoiding her eyes. "You know how many times my ship has nearly blown to bits with me in it? Or how many times I've had a gun or knife pointed at me? You always put the bounty first and that's fine. I can take care of myself. You can take care of yourself. Whatever the outcome, deal with it later."
Spike finished.
He knew that's how it was, simply because that's how it had to be.
He wondered if she realized how ridiculous it sounded that things would be the same after everything that's happened.
"Yeah. And?"
He moved to sterilize the needle.
"So why didn't you chase him down? No one was there, we had him isolated."
Spike sighed again, and after a moment, "would you have gone after him? If it were the other way around."
Faye stalled.
"No."
"There you have it."
Faye was never discreet about wanting to back him up, he could reciprocate that as well.
"Since when do you care?"
That question caught him off guard.
What was it supposed to mean?
He cared.
Of course, he cared.
"What?"
She didn't answer him, so he finally looked at her.
"Things are different now Faye."
Maybe that wasn't the right way to say it, he thought. Somewhere in the back of his mind the thought of Faye no longer being around downright frightened him.
Had it always frightened him? He had to wonder.
Ray undoubtedly added to it. It all intertwined, and it was all a part of the web he now found himself in.
"Don't I know it," she answered.
He tried to catch the tone of her voice but missed it.
"Well, It's the truth."
"Well, I'm still me."
"No, you're not. You're not you."
They stared at one another until Faye decided to break the silence that engulfed the room.
"I'm not?"
He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "Nothing. Alright, can we just finish this?"
Spike gestured to her wound to clarify, but he really didn't want to think about things like that anymore.
He was tired and a little hungry and ready to sleep it all away.
Faye was looking away now. "You're not touching me with that needle."
At that moment, Jet's steps could be heard from down the hall. He stepped into the room with Ray, who was wide awake, in his arms.
"He doesn't want to go back to sleep." He looked down at the baby, "you want mama or dada?"
"Please never say dada again," Spike quickly quipped.
"Let me see him." Faye held up her hands and Jet carefully passed him over. Her mood quickly lifted once her attention was taken by him.
"Faye needs stitches," Spike instructed.
Jet looked over her lose gauze. "Oh. I see, alright, let's get it done."
He sat beside her with the clean needles and numbing spray in hand, then removed the gauze. "I'm glad you're okay."
She smiled briefly to Jet, who wasn't looking her way. "Thanks."
"Now don't let it happen again."
Faye chuckled.
"Everyone is so dramatic today."
Ray cooed in her arms, so her attention drew back to him. Spike sat there a while longer in the silence as Jet maneuvered the procedure. After a while he stood up, gave a solid look to Ray then walked into the dark hallway.
…
Authors Note:
Happy New Year! Okay- sorry for the delay on this chapter. I ended up working a lot during Oct. & Nov. and then I lost my vision a bit lol...I think I was able to salvage it so we will just move from here haha. Hope you enjoyed it! I was also wanting it to be a bigger update too, but holidays got busier than I expected. So anyway, here is the late gift!
Special thanks to Moira_Lathal (Read THE STARLIGHT SYMPHONY SERIES)
and my sister for helping me with the slumpiness... (:
See ya space readers!