Title: Because You Loved me (4/4)

Author: Cheryl A

Rating: TEEN (Adult themes)

Category: post episode for Transition

Spoiler Info: Everything up to Transition

Disclaimer: WB, NBC, John Wells, Aaron Sorkin etc and Celine Dion for use of her song title.I have no money and get no profit out of this.

E-mail address for feedback: permission: Sure

Notes: This is my very first fan fic. Any and all feedback would be great. Thanks for all the great feedback and thanks for all of those people who urged me to write the last chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it.

"Donna, wait up" Helen shouted trying desperately to catch up with Donna as they re-entered the East Wing.

Donna ignored her and continued to run down the office halls as she was eager to lock herself into her office and crawl on the floor in the corner so she fully process everything that just happened that just happened.

It wasn't until she tripped over the uneven carpeting and lost her footing that Helen was able to catch her.

"Are you ok?" Helen asked as she bent down on the floor to meet Donna, concerned that she might have twisted her ankle in the fall.

"Do I look ok?" Donna shouted back as she struggled to wipe the tears and mascara from her eyes.

Helen bit her lip, "I'm sorry, I just thought you might have injured yourself when you tripped, as it was a nasty fall."

Donna struggled to compose herself. "No Ma'm I'm sorry. I had no right to snap at you right now. I was out of line and I apologize. If I'm being completely honest I don't quite feel anything right now, I just feel numb all over."

"There's no need to apologize, you have been through a lot today, and right now I am not the First Lady and you are not my chief of staff but rather we are Helen and Donna, good friends who can share anything with each other." Helen replied and offered a reassuring smile.

"Thank you Helen, I could really use a friend right now."

"Well one is standing right here, let me help you up" Helen said as she offered her hand to help Donna off the ground and they walked into Helen's office and closed the door.

Josh's Office

"DAMN IT!" Josh screamed as she slammed his fist against his wall.

"Josh, what the hell happened just now?" President Santos continued to ask.

Josh was grimacing in pain, his wrist was throbbing upon realizing what he had done. He didn't even turn around to face the president but rather leaned his head against his office wall as he spoke softly and informed the president of the earlier events.

"It was Amy sir. She came over her for a brief meeting and she found out about my relationship with Donna and she flipped out. So when Donna came over to meet us for lunch as we had planned and Amy said some very rude and hurtful things about Donna to her face. Then your wife came in during the middle of it and she got into it with Amy as well before she finally got the hint that she was un-welcomed and left.

"Where is Donna now, Josh?" President-Elect Santos asked.

Josh finally turned around to face the president and threw his hands in the air in frustration.

"That's just it, I don't know. During Amy's tirade Donna remained quiet and calm; she did not say anything at all, which was so unlike her. Even after Amy left, Donna just shutdown completely and began to second guess all the progress and growth she has made in past 2 years and seemed to lose all confidence her abilities. It was like she believed all the lies that Amy was spewing at her, as Amy knew which insecurities of Donna's to play on. Sir, it broke my heart to see her in such pain, as she left my office in tears. But the worse part was right before she left she gave me back this." Josh voice started to crack as he opened up his fist to show him the engagement ring that she returned before running out of his office.

"I'm sorry Josh, I know this was supposed to be a happy day for you and sorry that Amy Gardner had to ruin it. Did Helen leave to look for Donna?"

Josh nodded, "I wanted to go after her myself, but Helen insisted she go instead."

"My wife is a wise woman and I'm sure she'll be able to talk some sense into to Donna."

"I hope so, because after all we have been through there is no way I'm losing her now" Josh said as he grasped the ring tightly in his hand and placed it closely to his heart.

Helen's Office

Donna tried to make herself comfortable on the couch as Helen asked her assistant to bring in a glass of cold water for Donna and to hold all calls and meetings for both of them for the meantime.

Donna drank the entire cup of water in one sitting. She placed the empty glass back on the table before turning to Helen.

"Thanks" she spoke softly.

"Donna, I just wanted to remind you again that everything that bitch Amy said back in Josh's office was a complete lie. She is just jealous of your relationship with Josh and her ego was hurt so she took her anger out in the only way she knows how by belittling you."

"I know, but there has always been something about Amy that allows her to get to me so easy. I don't know why, perhaps it's because she was able to trap Josh in her web twice while I was secretly begging him to notice me as more than his assistant. Plus I'm pretty sure that what she's thinking and her opinion of me and my qualifications for this position are not far from what many other D.C people are thinking. As I told you before, I hardly have the relevant experience on paper to have this position; after all I never even received my college degree." Donna looked down at the ground still embarrassed about her insecurities.

Helen took her hand and gently lifted Donna's chin so that she would be looking at her eye-to eye. "Listen to me Donna, as I told you before both the president and I have the utmost confidence that you will excel in position regardless of whether or not you graduated from college. You are a bright, strong, well-respected and valued woman in this administration and I learned a long time ago to stop caring what others think. Let me tell you that being a beautiful blonde, like us, definitely has its disadvantages in the political world."

Donna slightly smiled in response as Mrs. Santos continued.

"When I first met Matt, I was a bartender at a local bar in Dallas. I was involved in a abusive, controlling relationship with this crooked lawyer named Mike who never allowed me to go back to school and constantly reminded me that without him I was just another worthless Texas Blonde. For two years I let him control me and let his hurtful words overrule what I knew in my heart to be true, that I was capable for a lot more than just being some bartender and that I deserved better than him. It wasn't until Matt entered my life did I begin to realize this. You see, Matt's brother Enrique used to come into the bar a lot and get really hammered. Since he had nobody else, Matt was always the one to come get him to take him home and fix up his mess. We had a few conversations here and there while he waited for his brother to sober up a bit before he drove him home and surprisingly one night he asked me to dinner. I knew he was a prominent politician so I was surprise that he would associate himself with me, a blonde bartender with no future. I turned him down because I didn't think I was worthy. He stopped back every night for two weeks asking me to reconsider, and finally I caved.

It was not long after that night that I finally got the courage to leave Mike for a future with Matt. I gave up bartending and instead worked closely on Matt's campaign to be elected Governor. During that time I kept asking myself whether I truly belonged in this world of politics or if my place was back behind the bar with men like Mike. Shortly after winning the election he asked me to marry him and shortly after that I found myself pregnant. I was scared and didn't know what to do, I questioned whether I could be the woman everybody wanted me to be and live up to expectations. The press not surprisingly had a field day with our relationship, the first event we showed up together they were insinuating that I was a blonde gold-digger unfit to be a governor's wife. But Matt stood up for me and assured them we loved each other immensely and that if they couldn't accept me as his future wife and mother of his child then he didn't want or need their votes when it came time for re-election. His faith in my abilities and confidence in our relationship eased my insecurities. It was then that I said I would not care about what others thought and that I was going to do my best to shield my children from the press vultures. But who knew then, that my husband was going to someday run for the presidency and it was going to a whole different ballgame?" Helen finished as she started to get emotional as she has never shared this part of herself with anybody before.

Donna was stunned, it really meant a lot to her that the First Lady was opening up to her on such a personal level and could relate to some of the fears that Donna was experiencing being part of new political power couple. She leaned over and gave Helen a hug as she had no words to express how touched she was that she chose to share such intimate details of her life with her.

"Donna, do you think I'm not worried about being compared either? Abby Barlett was a thoracic surgeon with a PHD from Harvard Medical School while I'm just a Texas stay-at-home mom with nothing more than a high school diploma. Do you think I believe anybody is going to take what I have to say seriously?"

"I think you will make a remarkable First Lady" Donna replied confidently.

"I thank you for your confidence Donna. Why don't we make a promise right here and right now to stand by each other's side, to help each other out whenever we are in need, to learn from our mistakes so we can grow in our new positions together. We will take on D.C as two strong, blonde determined women who know exactly what they want and how to get it and will not let the press or people like Amy Gardner bring us down."

Donna genuinely smiled for the first time, "That sounds like a plan Mrs. Santos" as she shook her hand to seal the deal.

"Thanks so much for the talk, it really helped me put things in perspective." Donna said as she gave Helen another hug. "Now if you can excuse me I have to find Josh who is probably very worried and confused by my behavior"

"Your very welcome Donna, anytime you need to talk I'm here for you, remember we are partners in this journey and we will weather through the political storm together."

"Thanks" Donna replied as she walked out of the First Lady's office and headed back to the West Wing to find her fiancée who she hoped could forgive her for her earlier outburst.

Josh's Apartment

Donna was surprised not to find Josh in his office, and even more surprised when she heard from Sam that Josh already went home and that he wanted to let her know that when she was ready she could take a taxi home to meet him if she wants. Since it was their first day back Donna expected them both to be in the office until well into the evening trying to catch up on all they had missed on their vacation. As she unlocked her key to Josh's apartment she could smell something tasty cooking in the kitchen and could hear the sound of the stereo playing a love song.

For all those times you stood by me,
For all the truth that you made me see,
For all the joy you brought to my life,
For all the wrong that you made right,
For every dream you made come true,
For all the love I found in you, I'll be forever thankful baby,
You're the one who held me up, never let me fall.
You're the one who saw me through, through it all

"I'm so sorry that you had to endure that crap with Amy today, she was totally out of line and it was completely uncalled for" Josh whispered softly in her ear as he ran to the door to welcome her back with a large hug as the music continued.

You were my strength when I was weak,
You were my voice when I couldn't speak,
You were my eyes when I couldn't see, you saw the best there was in me,
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach, you gave me faith 'coz you believed,
I'm everything I am, because you loved me.

"No it's ok, I'm fine now, Mrs. Santos and I talked and I'm ready to move on and embrace my position as her chief of staff and I'm determined not to let Amy ever get to me again." Donna said as she laid her head on his shoulders and together they began to sway along to the slow rhythm of the song.

You gave me wings and made me fly,
You touched my hand I could touch the sky,
I lost my faith you gave it back to me,
You said no star was out of reach,
You stood by me and I stood tall, I had your love I had it all.
I'm grateful for each day, you gave me,
Maybe I don't know that much, but I know this much is true.
I was blessed because I was, loved by you.

"I don't think you will have to worry about her anymore, I went over to Amy's office to give her a piece of my mind after you left and we got into a pretty intense argument where she proceeded to call both you and Mrs. Santos some choice names. I swear I was about to slap her upside the head when the President Santos walked in and needlessly to say he was displeased with the way she was talking about two women he cared deeply about. So I'm pleased to tell you that Amy Gardner is now the first person fired from this administration and I don't think she will be seeking further employment within the White House Walls considering she's failed twice at it." Josh said triumphantly, pleased on how things turned out with Amy.

Donna smiled in return, thinking that Amy got exactly what she deserved and she would have loved to seen her face when the president-elect fired her. She ran her fingers up and down Josh's back as they continued to dance.

You were my strength when I was weak
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach, you gave me faith 'coz you believed,
I'm everything I am, because you loved me.

"I'm sorry for the way I left your office, I'm sure you must have been hurt and that's the last thing I wanted to do. I want you know that I do want to marry you Josh, that's if you will still have me as your future wife."

Josh pulled Donna closer and whispered, "It's ok Donna, it broke my heart to see you in such pain and I wished there was something I could do to take it all away. When you gave me back my ring and said that this was all a mistake, my heart stopped. Donna, I love you so much and I can't imagine my life without you in it, after all these years I know now that it was you that kept me grounded and sane and that the man I am today is because of your love and support. As far as whether or not I will still have you as my life, let me remind you that I told you this morning how you are stuck with me for life, as there are no return or exchange policy when it comes to Josh Lyman engagements, all sales are final. Everything I said in Hawaii I meant, and one bad day is not going to change it."

Donna smiled as Josh placed his ring back on her left finger and kissed her hand. She wrapped her arms again around him again as song continued.

You were always there for me, the tender wind that carried me,
A light in the dark, shining your love in-to my life,
You've been my inspiration, through the lies you were the truth,
My world is a better place, because of you.

"I love you too Josh, I'm sorry again for doubting us. You were the one who believed in me, made me feel I was capable of more. When I went back to Wisconsin during the first Bartlett campaign, I realized that I was so much better than Dr. Freeride and that my place in life was not back in with him in Wisconsin but rather with you in DC. Even if he hadn't stopped for a beer that night I still was going to leave him, because you gave me the strength to stand up for myself and see that I had value and didn't need to be used and abused by him. I may not have always showed it, but I appreciate everything you have done for me. The woman I have become and that I was able to rise to one of the most powerful female positions in the government is because of you Josh, truly I am everything I am because you loved me."

No further exchange of words were necessary, Josh sealed her lips with a kiss that grew with passion as they made their way clumsily into the bedroom. He lowered her into bed and kissed her softly as he brushed a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear. He wanted to erase all the pain she had endured today and replace it soft kisses and loving looks as he made sweet, tender love to her as the music faded in the background.

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see, you saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach, you gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am, because you loved me

Credit to Celine Dion for the Song lyrics used, "Because you loved me."

The End!