Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½™ in any way, shape or form, nor do I own the concept of Red Dwarf™.
Author's Notes: wow, this story got almost as many reviews for its first chapter as Sacrifice ½ did! I'm glad people want this to continue and I'll try to continue it, but if you have any ideas for scenarios you'd like to see happen (radiation from a nearby planetoid makes Jusenkyo curses act up, group trip to a dream-world via a V.R. game goes sour, touchdown on a planet goes haywire due to hostile natives…) then please submit them in your reviews!
This particular strain of writer's block I've contracted prevents the conception of scenarios to work into chapters, so your suggestions are vital to the continuation of this story. I do request that you keep requests for anime crossovers to a minimum; I don't actually know any anime other than Ranma ½ and besides which there's already an immense number of Ranma ½/Sailor Moon and Ranma ½/Tenchi Muyo crossovers.
Chapter 2: Rude Awakenings
Three months had now passed since the Nerima Wrecking Crew had started their one-way vacation cruise, and only now were the folks of Nerima who actually cared about their presence starting to notice the fact. Well, to be honest, Soun and Genma had noticed Ranma and Akane's absence after one month, but had stubbornly clung to the belief that the two of them had simply eloped. Nabiki, on the other hand, was nowhere near so stupid.
'This has to have been planned by someone. And how dare they involve me in it! I should have known that getting paid two million yen just to deliver some packages to the Kunos was suspicious…'
Truth be told, such a deal had been very suspicious. But a combination of Nabiki's innate greed and the normal abnormality of Nerima had pushed aside her concerns for the sake of the yen. Now, she resolved to try and solve this mystery- if only to ensure no one tried blaming her for this. Unfortunately, three months of investigation later and she still had no idea who could have possibly eliminated every super martial artist from Nerima.
The officials had been no help at all –far too many held grudges against Nerima's martial artist population to even care about their absence- and any leads she did manage to find inevitably led to dead ends. She had to admit a grudging respect for whoever was responsible; they'd certainly covered their tracks well. Unfortunately, that meant that six months with no leads of any kind, which had really shaken the non-combatants remaining.
Her father and Genma had both withdrawn in on themselves, often breaking out into bouts of weeping over the fact that the schools wouldn't be joined. The furious Cologne had, reluctantly, left Nerima; there had been nothing she could do to find her great-granddaughter and with both Shampoo and Ranma gone she had no reason to stay in Nerima. She had made Nabiki swear to inform her of anything she found regarding the disappearances and Nabiki had eagerly agreed; the look in the ancient martial artist's eyes had been enough to send a shiver of fear down even Nabiki's spine and a part of her shuddered at the thought about what Cologne might do to the people responsible for her great-granddaughter's disappearance.
Happosai was still causing trouble and making a nuisance of himself but he'd decreased his normal enthusiasm, a mixture of lack of interest with Ranma and Akane no longer around to try and stop him and fear of disappearing in much the same manner the cause. Even Kasumi seemed to have been affected by the malaise; her smiles and manner now bore a faint hint of artificiality, as though she was starting to more go through the routines than truly feel it. Of all the parents, it was Principal Kuno who was the least affected. If anything he'd gotten worse without Ranma, Akane, Ukyo and even Tatewaki to try and stop him.
Of course, what none of those left knew was that these six months of absence held another meaning. Somewhere in deep space, it was time for the Nerima Wrecking Crew to wake up again…
Pain. That was the first thing that registered on Ranma's inhumanly acute senses the moment consciousness flared into being. Not exactly the excruciating agony where it seemed like every single nerve in his body as being tested for their suitability as musical instrument strings by some unholy minstrel, but a different kind of pain. A sort of dull, throbbing ache that by itself wouldn't be too bad but somehow managed to hijack the senses so that it overshadowed everything else and seemed to encompass the entire universe. Ranma, unfortunately, was experienced with this sort of pain –more so than any sane person would wish to be- and knew that the only way to ignore it was to concentrate on it; basically to try and stare it down.
It was this that prevented Ranma from initially realising exactly where he was, but after several minutes he managed to stare down the pain and found himself gawking at the strange room he was in. A sudden sound like a throat being cleared was sufficient to throw him into a battle-stance out of instinct, though he cautiously exited the stance as he listened to what the voice was saying.
"Greetings and welcome. I know you all have questions and I assure you they will be answered if you will simply follow the indicating signs to the pre-approved meeting place."
As Ranma watched an arrow of bright red light appeared on the wall, pointing to the doorway. Out of curiosity he existed the room, discovering himself in a passageway with another arrow flashing on the wall in front of him. After about five to ten minutes of following arrows, by which time he was feeling very lost, he finally found himself in a large room, filled with technical-looking equipment, with his fiancées, his rivals and the Kunos. Akane turned to him as he entered, staring at the high-tech surroundings.
"So there you are Ranma. Come to that, where are we?"
"You are aboard the spaceship Blue Giant. I am the ship's computer. I am pleased to see that you are suffering no ill-effects from your six months in cryogenic stasis."
The voice came from everywhere and nowhere at once, startling the Nerimites. Turning to face the central mass of computing, for lack of anywhere else to address, Ranma spoke up.
"Why are we here?"
"The exact details are not within my memory banks, but suffice to say that each and every one of you has been deemed an undesirable social element and thus all of you have been officially banished from Earth."
The Nerimites reaction to this, needless to say, is unprintable. The computer waited for the furious furore to die down before resuming speaking.
"This is not of my choice and there is nothing I can do about it. Whilst I am in overall charge of the ship, and by extension yourselves, specific sections of responsibility are under the authority of lesser 'sub-A.I's'. I can only override them in specific circumstances, primarily where their current choice of actions would endanger this ship and your lives. However, the sole A.I I cannot override is the navigation A.I, which was constructed from cerebral scans of one Hibiki Ryoga."
"The navigator was patterned after who?" was the outburst that erupted from every individual present.
"Yes, unfortunately, which means there is essentially no way of knowing where we will end up. That means you are stuck here with me for… whatever the average lifespan of a martial artist is. If you follow the scuzz-bots, they will direct you to your own personal quarters; cryogenic stasis is quite taxing on the body's systems and you will need time to recuperate. Hibiki Ryoga; your scuzz-bot has been personally assigned to you and it will assist you in the location of any and all desired locations. When you are strong enough to partake in such things, there are a variety of diversionary occupations scattered throughout the ship."
"Such as?" Ranma asked sarcastically. The computer replied in the same calm, patient tone it had been using until then; evidentially unaffected by human emotions.
"For one, there are several Virtual Reality stations, where you can literally 'plug yourself in' to a program and play through the scenario as though you were actually there. There is a relatively extensive library of pre-existing game programs, and there also exists software that enables you to 'write' new programs should you desire. There are several gyms, outfitted to enable the production any sort of sport or exercise you should desire– especially martial arts. And there also is an extensive library and a well-stocked cinema. In addition, each set of quarters –which are outfitted for single persons, though they can be modified to house two individuals- comes with a universal monitor that allows the inhabitant to engage recreational software, watch television programs and listen to music of their choice."
Ranma couldn't help the whistle of admiration that slipped between his teeth; that was more stuff then he'd ever dreamed of in his life. The others were also silent for several seconds, seemingly taking in the information, until Mousse broke the silence.
"What about food? How do we eat?"
"Each set of quarters comes with a universal vending machine that will produce any form of food or drink you request in the proportions you request. There are also several 'bars', as my data files tell me they are called, where you may go to engage in public eating, mutual enjoyment of music and dancing, and the imbuement of fermented vegetable fluids."
"What?"
"He means a pub. Though rather classy pubs by the sound of it." Remarked Ranma in reply to Ukyo's question. He blinked when he noticed the others were staring at him- the atmosphere indicated that even the computer was staring.
"What? My old man brought me up on the road. I've probably been in more pubs, bars and seedy dives then you've ever dreamed of visiting."
The computer, making use of the digital reconstruction of a throat-clearing cough, broke the awkward silence that followed.
"Yes, that is correct. In a final note, the ship also houses several electronic learning facilities, where you will be able to study virtually any subject, up to and including operating my own systems. Please note that any tampering with my circuitry without the approval of the safety A.I. will result in the activation of the ship's auto-destruct mechanism. Activation will result in the detonation of the ship's power core, producing an explosion of approximately seven point seven gigatons."
Seeming to sense the atmosphere in reaction that statement, the computer spoke again.
"But do not concern yourselves with it. A far better subject to study would be the operation of the various 'mini-ships'; small transport vessels docked within the hold. Once you have studied sufficiently, you will be capable of leaving this vessel to make external explorations. Now, you have been ambulatory long enough. Here are the scuzz-bots; please follow them to your designated quarters."
The "scuzz-bots" turned out to be small, essentially spherical lumps of metal. In the exact center of the sphere was a large, faintly glowing red lens, clearly the robots' eye. At equal positions around the rim of the circle emerged long, spindly arms, which ended in a strange manipulator –two fingers emerging from the back of the palm and opposed by three from the front- which clearly served equally well as hand or foot. Each scuzz-bot walked or scurried over to its chosen Nerimite and began gently tugging at their clothing, clearly trying to persuade them to follow the scuzz-bots.
Rather then turning around though, the scuzz-bots simply walked backwards, their strangely shaped limbs enabling them to do so with ease. Curiosity persuaded Ranma to grab his scuzz-bot and turn it around, revealing a second lens implanted in its "back" in the exact same position as the one on its "front". Curiosity sated Ranma gently put it down and followed it as it continued its path, seemingly undisturbed. He, and the other Nerimites, were indeed beginning to feel hungry and woozy, but once they purged the toxins of cryogenic stasis from their bodies they would begin exploring their new home.
Okay, second chapter done in record time; see what happens when you provide lots of reviews? I already asked for you to submit scenarios you'd like to see in the Author's Notes at the start of this chapter, so I won't repeat myself. However, I do have a few potential scenarios of my own- please tell me in your reviews which scenario you want me to write next. I'll most likely write them all up, but I'll do so in order related to the number of reviews received in favour of it- aka the one with the most reviews asking for it will be the first to come online.
-The Blue Giant passes through a strange asteroid belt, the minerals of which react bizarrely to the mystical energies clinging to the Nerima Wrecking Crew. Basically, the Jusenkyo curses go berserk!
If you want this chapter, then please suggest possible ways in which the curses could freak out (Shampoo becomes a cat-girl, Tatewaki & Kodachi receive Spring of Drowned Girl/Boy curses respectively, Ranma & Ryoga switch curses/bodies etc) and also if you want these "mutated" curses (or just specific ones) to be permanent.
-The Nerima Wrecking Crew are finished taking the tests that will let them fly the Blue Giant's mini-ships. Unfortunately, their first independent voyage goes badly when they go to explore an ancient alien spaceship. Within its depths they encounter an ancient but still functioning robot, who explains that the ship they're in was the property of a now-extinct alien race who made their living as "war merchants", selling mercenaries, warrior-slaves and weapons technology to customers. Unfortunately for the NWC, some of the technology is still active- a fact that is violently made clear when Ranma gets "infected" by a cerebral symbiont, designed to bond with a host and grant them psionic powers. With their best warrior unconscious, can the NWC survive when an insane biomechanical killing machine breaks free and starts hunting them?
If you want this scenario, then I need you to tell me whether you want the symbiont's attempt to bond with Ranma to be a failure or a success. If the latter, I need you to tell me which of these power sets you want to see Ranma gain:
Combo Telepathy (thought reading) and Empathy (emotion reading)
Thermokinesis (equal powers in Pyrokinesis and Cryokinesis)
Vitakinesis (psionic healing)
Combo Photokinesis (psionic generation/control of light) and Umbrakinesis (psionic generation/control of darkness)
Chronokinesis (psionic control/manipulation of time)
Telekinesis
-While flicking idly through the VR suite's game library, Akane finds an experimental game called "Better than Life". She boots it up to find herself in a world that runs on her rules, where she is in absolute control of everything. In other words, in this game she can literally live out her "perfect life". Things get out of hand when the other Nerimites start fighting over it, which results in the game going haywire. Can Ranma, the only one who hasn't gotten caught up in this, save the other Nerimites before their conflicting desires and mental struggles for dominance cause the VR suite to burn out, trapping them in Better than Life for eternity?