(don't worry I'm still going strong! I moved into my new place, I'll be starting a new job soon, it's a fresh start! That fossilshipping story is also in the works and the Tomb Raider au! I hope you all are still interested)
It was a beautiful sunny day, the warm breeze rustled Jaden's two-toned brown hair. Brown eyes scanned the small park as kids squealed and chased each other on the playground. The star felt a smile tug at his lips as his mind went back to his childhood.
Jaden rushed up the playground stairs as a determined Haou chased him, his small hands reached out for the monkey bars and he swung himself to the ground. Haou whined not being able to keep up with his twin but still trying to tag him. Jaden just laughed and ran around to the other end of the playground; he wasn't fast but Haou was smart. Cutting through the jungle gym he cut his twin off and tackled him to the ground. Both kids burst into laughter as Jaden admitted defeat.
"I got you an ice coffee" Jesse stood in front of the male and smiled "I hope that's good."
Jaden nodded and took the drink taking a quick sip "Whoa that's sweet."
"In one of your interviews you said you don't drink coffee because it's to bitter." Jesse gave nervous smile.
"Wow you really are a fan" The chuckle slipped from his throat.
The blunette felt his cheeks flush pink a little from embarrassment, he quickly took a sip of his own coffee. Jesse joined his friend on the bench and watched the kids for a bit. Green eyes glanced at the brunette's face curios of the dream like emotion in his brown orbs.
"What's on your mind?"
Jaden jumped slightly forgetting he wasn't alone "uh well me and Haou went to the park a lot as kids."
Jesse just gave a small nod as the faded back into silence and watching, the blunette couldn't complain they were at least comfortable. Normally to much silence with a stranger would not only freak him out but it would drive anyone nuts. With Jaden it was different, like they didn't need words to communicate their thoughts.
"Why were you and your brother on bad terms?"
"It started with my career choice" Jaden sighed, the light in his eyes dulling a bit "then we just kept fighting about everything, he treated me like a joke."
Jesse went quite thinking for a bit, it's not odd that siblings fight and put distance between each other. The lack of closure is probably what's taking its toll the most, as well as the brunette thinking he's in love with Mamoru. That's what he's here to help fix though, the blunette wraps an arm around Jaden's neck and grins. The brunette looks at his new friend questioningly with a smile growing on his face.
"Let's write some songs."
"Why is that you and your brothers answer to everything?" Jaden scoffed.
"Because your manager says you need to make a new album and it's therapeutic." Jesse jumped up from the bench and pulled Jaden up with him.
"So working while healing?" he allowed himself to be pulled to his feet slightly amused by the others energy.
"Exactly!"
"I normally don't write without the other members."
"We are doing some personal healing during this so it might be best not to have them till it's done."
Jaden nodded thinking about it and he realized he wouldn't want his friends around as he tried to pull apart his thoughts and emotions as he wrote. Not that he didn't trust them he just didn't feel comfortable getting so personal with them. At least not when he had a clear understanding of his own feelings, so he agreed with Jesse.
Jaden then thought of a bigger issue, Mamoru, he still felt an attraction bordering obsession with the male. As if reading his mind Jesse grabbed the males' shoulders making the brunette focus on him.
"My brother is taking an out-of-town client for a couple days so the apartment is all ours."
"When he comes back?" Jaden voice was strained and came out closer to a whisper.
"Depending on how your doing, we will get you a nearby hotel."
"that's fair" Jaden knew he couldn't stay at the apartment forever.
With a plan in place the two started a walk back to the place they were staying. Jesse calculated their day out perfectly; His brother should be at the airport when they get back to the apartment. Ever since last night he has been putting space between the two, never leaving them alone together. He wouldn't allow his brother to lay a hand on the superstar anymore, not because he was jealous or anything but because he wanted them both to be happy.
Emerald eyes glanced at the brunette next to him animatedly talking about song ideas. He inwardly sighed, maybe he was a bit jealous, the singer was just to cute for words. Especially when he was speaking so passionate, the Norwegian shook his head trying to regain focus.
"What do you think?" Jaden grinned.
"T-that sounds like a great idea" he tried not to sound guilty when he realized he wasn't listening.
"Good, it will be therapeutic and a great comeback."
Now the Norwegian was lost but that was his fault he should have been listening and now he couldn't ask the other to explain without giving that away.
"I'll have to ask Zane to prepare the concert dates" Jaden mumbled a bit to himself.
Jesse silently thanked Odin for now he knew what was going on and he guessed it made sense that he would want to put on a show with the new songs he'll write. He guessed that was ok and he wasn't about to double back and say no plus he did think it was a good idea.
Reaching the apartment the brunette rushed inside to get his notebook and guitar. Jesse laughed it was like watching an excited puppy go fetch their favorite toy. The blunette sat on the couch, relaxing into it as the brunette came back out grinning.
"Nice to see you all chipper again" Jesse chuckled.
"It doesn't matter how bad things get" Jaden sat on the floor "Music can make it better."
"That is your life motto, also said in one of your interviews."
"Alright fan boy help a rock star out" Jaden chuckled "Where should we start?"
"Well what do you wanna tackle first?"
Jaden looked down and put some thought into it, Haou came to his mind and he felt his heart clench. They used to be inseparable, he figured that would be a good place to start, he wanted some kind of closure with Haou. Who knows maybe his spirit would be able to hear the song about him? That brought some peace to the brunette's mind.
"Haou, I wanna write a song for him."
"Sounds like a good place to start" Jesse's tone was soft and comforting to the male.
The Norwegian joined him on the ground, grabbing the pen and notebook he opened it up. Jaden rested his guitar in his lap and placed his hands so he was ready to strum at any time.
"Alright now what was your relationship like with Haou? When you guys were young."
"Haou was always quite but strong, if I had a nightmare or being bullied he'd jump to my rescue" Jaden's eyes went to the floor.
"He was protective."
"He was cold towards others though, when it came to handling people I'd let him stick to me as I did all the talking" A smile graced the brunettes features, almost dream like.
"You guys sound like opposites."
"That was the best part, were one was weak the other was strong" Jaden's voice broke a little.
"How do feel now that he's gone?"
"Like I'm half of a whole….." his throat was getting tighter, like he was going to choke.
Jesse had his head down, writing notes to keep track of everything said. He almost missed the quite strum of the guitar. He looked up to see a dull look in Jaden's eyes, almost unnerving in a way. The brunette played around with different tones until he found one he liked. The melody that played made the Norwegian's throat clench tight. It was deep and the melody rang sad in his ears, Jaden started to hum.
The brunette lost focus on reality, the only things existing being him and his guitar. Words flowed in his head and he slowly picked out the best to express what he was feeling. Longing for childhood when everything was simple and pain for the half of him he lost. on top of all of that though, he felt as if his brother watching him ever since the first night. It should have been comforting but in was just making him uneasy. He felt alone in his own world and didn't even notice as lyrics started slipping past his lips.
"I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears."
Jesse sat up giving the brunette all of his attention, he was ready to write down all the lyrics that came from his friend.
"And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave."
The brunette's eyes drifted over to a picture on the far wall to their left, it was of Haou and Mamoru.
"Cause your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone."
The blunette could hear the pain and sorrow starting to drip from the brunette's voice. Said male was keeping his voice low to make sure the emotion fully flowed through the song.
"These wounds won't seem to heal; this pain is just too real.
There's just to much that time cannot erase!"
More energy into the tone but still keeping the sorrowful tone in the melody. Jaden glued his eyes to his guitar and his hands, watching as they moved without a thought.
"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears.
When I screamed, you'd fight away all of my fears.
And I held your hand through all of these years.
But you still have all of me."
That last line rang through the brunettes' ears, he couldn't place why he said it but for some reason it felt right to him.
"You use to captivate me by your resonating light."
Jesse could have sworn that Jaden's eyes were shining gold for a second there, and his voice sounded a bit off. He shook his head figuring he must be tired and was just seeing things now.
"Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind.
Your face it haunts, my once pleasant dreams.
And your voice it chased away all the sanity in me."
It was true to a point, Haou had been in most of his dreams; from good to bad. The worst was when Jaden dreamed of the crash, he didn't know how it could be so accurate or vivid but it was.
"These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just to real.
There's just to much that time can not erase!"
Maybe it was wrong of him to think he could heal in a year but he originally had! After finding out how Haou truly felt everything was harder and more complicated. It had been a year! He just wanted to feel alive and well, like he used to.
"When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears.
When I screamed, you'd fight away all of my fears.
And I held your hand through all of these years.
But you still have all of me."
Closing his eyes he could almost imagine his brother sitting next to him, nose in a book as he swayed and hummed along with his twin. It was the best part of when they were on peaceful terms, just being in Haou's presence always made things feel better in the long run.
"I tried so hard to tell myself that your gone.
But though your still with me, I've been alone all along!"
His hand felt light and foreign to him now as the tune picked up, with other instruments it would be close to a hard rock or metal tune. It went on for a bit and he couldn't seem to control or stop his hands as they played. A chill ran up his spine and there was mild panic in his eyes then a warm calm washed over his nerves. Only one person could manage to affect him like this, Haou.
"When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears.
When I screamed, you'd fight away all of my fears.
And I held your hand through all of these years.
You still have all of me!"
Panting and confused Jaden looked up to check on his companion only to be met with a pale expression. Jesse's face had paled greatly and his green eyes filled with happiness were replaced with fear and shock. It made the rock star a little unnerved as silence held control of the room.
"Jess you ok?" Jaden leaned forward and lightly tapped his shoulder.
The Blunette quickly shook his head to snap himself out of his terrified state "Jay."
The man's voice was shaky, another chill fell over the brunette, he almost didn't respond "You weren't alone."
"Did you see something?" Jaden knew something was off.
"it was suttle at first, your eyes were golden and your voice changed" Jesse took a deep breath "then I saw something holding your hand, there was a shadow kind of holding you."
Jaden didn't have to ask anymore questions' somehow he just knew that it was Haou. Maybe there was hope for him after all, a small smile graced his lips as the thought comforted him. Acting as if the bluenette hadn't said anything he stood up to look at the notebook.
"Did you write everything down?"
"Oh! Uh yeah" He held out the book for the rock star.
"Awesome, that's one song down."