Chapter 4

And you squeeze my hands two times, three times
And believe me I love you always, always

All I do, the whole day through, is dream of you
All I do, since I met you, is dream of you —Dream of You, Camila Cabello

Bella

Gawking at myself in the full-length mirror, I struggled with my hair as I got ready to go to the movies with Leah.

It seemed like I blinked, then opened my eyes to my third summer in Forks. Well, more like the end of my third summer now. When school resumed, I'd be a freshman in high school. Easier childhood days had gone away with my flat chest, and everything was changing.

Everything, but how I felt about Jacob.

He blinded me. Meaning, every other guy near him remained nameless, faceless, blurs in my mind. Leah couldn't understand it. She was constantly trying to convince me to find somebody else, especially because Jacob went out with other girls. She used that argument on me all the time.

I heard about different girls he liked or who liked him. Emmett made sure of that. I was forever pretending not to care, which wasn't always easy. Sometimes, I found myself disgusted with Jacob about a story I'd heard, especially when it involved someone I knew.

But his sunny smile permeated through me every time he flared it in my direction, so I never stayed mad at him for long. Besides, he had no clue about my feelings for him, so why wouldn't he date another girl?

Brushing through my disobedient hair, I was spiritless, and having another bad hair day wasn't helping. You would think I'd have gotten used to them. Bad hair days happened a lot in one of the rainiest places in the continental US.

Time flew by too fast this summer. And all season long, I dreaded fall, September, and the turning of the leaves, just because of Jacob. When school resumed, he'd go away. He would go away next week, to be precise. He was set to attend Chemawa Indian School in Oregon. Chemawa was a boarding school ranging from ninth to twelfth grade, made up of Native American kids from all over the country. They lived there all year, coming home only on Christmas and summer vacations.

After giving La Push High School a chance, he decided it wasn't for him and chose Chemawa for the boxing opportunities it provided. Everyone acted as if it was nothing. Lots of kids from La Push attended Chemawa, including Jacob's older sisters who were going into their senior years, which I'm sure was another of his deciding factors.

Jacob hardly came around anymore, a result of Emmett's love life. One day at the beach, Emmett met a girl named Rosalie from Olympia, Washington. She was staying with her grandparents for the summer. He ended up spending all his time with her. You could say she was his first "serious" girlfriend.

Every new sunrise burned a little more, and I was becoming more sorrowful by the day. I already ached for Jacob, and he didn't even leave yet.

"Bella, I'm here!" Leah's voice echoed from the living room.

"I'll be right down!" I gave up on my hair, clasped my lucky anklet on, and dashed down the stairs.

We were just about to leave when Jacob stopped by for Emmett. As usual this summer, Emmett was somewhere with Rosalie.

"Must be love," Jacob grumbled. "Tell him I stopped by again." He looked bummed, too. "How about Jasper and Seth? Where are they?"

"I think they're at the pool," Leah said.

"Maybe I'll go look for 'em."

When he walked out the door, I grabbed Leah's shoulder and pleaded with her. "Ask him to come with us."

She squinted in aggravation. "No, you do it if you want him to come."

"You know I can't do that." I peeped out the window. Jake reached the driveway on the way to his car across the street. "Come on, Leah. He's leaving next week. I won't see him for four months." I joined my palms in prayer position. "I'll do anything for you. Hurry! Before it's too late."

Leah didn't mind I liked Jacob as long as I kept her completely out of it, a principle of hers I never understood. "You're just lucky I'll miss him, too." She groaned, running out the door after him. As the door closed, I thought she said, "He's going to kill me."

Unsure of what she meant, I made a mental note to ask her about it later. I gave her some time before I followed her outside. The second I stepped on the porch, my eyes bumped into Jacob's eyes. I stopped short for the moment that my heart stalled and my tummy tumbled. The peculiar expression he wore enveloped me. "What?" I asked him, throwing a questioning glance toward Leah, hoping she didn't say something she shouldn't have said.

"Are you sure you don't know where Emmett is?"

I nodded. "No idea. Sorry."

His face brightened. "I guess I'm driving then."

Going to the movies together wasn't anything unusual. Some variation of the six of us always did it. This was something different, though. I sensed an antsy tension from Jacob during the drive, and his quietness made it difficult to open a conversation with him. If he was regretting coming, I'd have just as terrible a time.

Oddly, Leah was doing enough talking for both of us. "It's crowded today. Hopefully, they're sold out. I mean not sold out. Is this movie supposed to be any good? We should just do something else. It's hot, and I bet Seth and Jasper are having fun. We should go find them."

"I didn't drive over here for nothing, Leah," Jacob said.

"We're already here. We might as well go inside," I said. She pretended not to notice my glare.

After we got our tickets, we followed Jacob into the dim-lit theater, and when we found seats, he stepped aside and guided Leah to go before him. I glanced up at him, my eyes rounding at the way he rolled his gaze across my face. He smiled, and it felt as if he was smiling directly into my heart.

I sat down beside Leah, a burst of excitement coming over me as Jacob took the seat on my other side, making it difficult to continue talking to Leah. Butterflies bloomed in the center of my stomach as the theater darkened, because, for the first time since I met him, he actually seemed to like me.

Then his hand touched mine, and I shivered at the wispy but wonderful skin contact that caused me to slip into a surreal, ecstatic fog.