Chapter 11

You pull back the curtains
And the sun burns into your eyes
You watch a plane flying
Across a clear blue sky
This is the day, your life will surely change
This is the day, when things fall into place —This is the Day, The, The

Jacob

From the moment I stepped off the bus, thoughts of Bella invigorated me. I was dying to see her.

Aunt Sue made me eat a home-cooked meal while Seth and Leah clued me in on all I missed while away. It didn't sound like I missed much. There was never any excitement around Forks and La Push. All that ever changed were people's ages.

Leah and Sue left the kitchen as soon as Seth and I started talking about boxing. After they were gone, the conversation quickly turned to girls. Seth told me of some girls he'd gone out with, and it was music to my ears. Especially when he chatted about this girl named Lauren, he was dating and liked a lot. But it was too bad it didn't work out; I was proud to hear he dumped her as soon as she tried to play him. I wouldn't have put up with crap like that. As I listened to him, I got the impression his crush on Bella became a thing of the past and ended up wondering about it out loud. "I take it you don't like Bella anymore?"

He cocked his head and stared at me with a puzzled look. "What makes you say that?"

Surprised, I stepped away from our conversation with a shrug. It offended me he was going out with other girls, and yet, right there across from me, he was implying he still liked Bella.

Until I remembered, I did it too.

How wrong was that?

Sure, I hooked up with girl occasionally if I thought I liked her. All I kept finding out was that she wasn't the girl for me. Nothing ever lasted. No matter how cool a girl was to hangout with or how hot she was to look at, it always got old fast. Trying to date another girl left me thinking about Bella. It made me notice how I never stopped feeling about her. I never stopped wondering about her or wishing for her, no matter her proximity to me.

It didn't seem wrong because Bella and I weren't a couple. It didn't sound good when I heard it coming from Seth, though. I was considering this when Seth said something that sounded a lot like he went out with Bella. I tensed, tapping at my ear with my fingertips, wondering if I heard him correctly. "Hold on. Say that again."

"I said, the best part about the whole Lauren mess is that it led to me going out with Bella. We went to the Holiday dance together." A prideful glimmer showed in his eyes. "That's what I've been getting to."

"Oh, yeah?" I swallowed hard and took in a lung full of air. I let my breath out when he said they only went as friends. But to him, it was more than that. Excitement buzzed in his voice as he re-capped the evening.

"She said it was the most fun she's had in months. She told me she was glad she went with me. Then we..." He stopped talking with a mysterious grin.

"You what?" I slanted an eyebrow, waiting for him to finish.

"We had fun, that's all. It's a start, though, don't you think?"

"Yep, it's a start." In actuality, it was a start. A pang of anger and jealousy toward him bubbled up in me. I cleared my throat and managed to say, "Good deal."

I thought if I left things alone, the situation would fix itself. Seth's crush on Bella would disappear, or he'd put Bella in a position where she'd have to tell him she wasn't interested, hinging on the very idea she wasn't.

If it were another guy, I would have been insanely selfish over Bella. But this was Seth. He looked up to me. What was I supposed to do now? I was to the point where I didn't want to step aside, cousin or no cousin.

The more he talked, the more he got on my nerves. It relieved me when Sue made him chop firewood before we could go over to the Swans'. That gave me time to find out what was happening between Seth and Bella.

"Leah, can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked, interrupting her game of Halo.

"As soon as I'm done here. I'm on a roll."

"Pause it!" I snatched the controller from her hands and lifted her from the sofa, dragging her into the guest room, more commonly known as my room.

"What are you doing?" She scowled with a raised voice. "That was the furthest I've ever been!"

"I just want to ask you something." I closed the door and contemplated how to begin. Leah knew Seth liked Bella. After the movie that day, she told me not to talk to her about Bella until I talked to Seth about Bella. She was my only source of information, though. I had to ask her. "Did Bella mention me while I was away?"

"Ah, Jake! It's called plausible deniability, remember? I'm not getting involved in any way, shape, or form, so don't even ask."

"I'm just trying to figure out where I stand." I stared at her, hoping she'd tell me something, but she just kept shaking her head.

"Come on, Leah! This isn't just about me. It's about Seth and Bella, too. If I knew for a fact Bella was interested in him and not me, I wouldn't interfere." I stopped short of saying, I think.

She eyed me with skepticism. "Really?"

She was going to make our talk way more difficult than it needed to be. "I wouldn't. Seth's the main reason I stayed away from Bella all this time. You already know that. So is she into him now or what?"

"She didn't say that if that's what you're asking." She took a harsh breath. "Jacob, you know how I feel about this. You're not being fair to me by putting me in the middle. I wouldn't talk to Seth about you and Bella if he were the one asking."

"Why can't you just tell me, Leah? It'll be easier on all of us. I promise."

She grimaced, cutting her eyes away from me, then huffed. "All right, I'll tell you what I think. If you asked me that question two days ago? I would have told you no. He doesn't have a chance. But now… I'm not sure. He might. You need to ask Bella."

"No. I'm not doing that. Has she said anything specifically about me?"

"Just that she was hoping you would have called her or something."

"I was hoping she'd answer the phone at least once when I called over there. I didn't want to start trouble if I asked Emmett to let me talk to her. I bet he would have hung up on me. Is that all she said?"

"The last time we talked about you, which was before the dance. She was looking forward to you coming home." Relief ran through me despite her emphasis on the word before. "She openly said she likes you, Jake." She frowned and added with bitterness. "So, you've got that over on my brother."

She just as well kicked me in the shin. Her tone made me see how I upset her. Seth was her twin, and I put her on the spot; she probably felt like she was betraying him. I suddenly felt rotten about asking her anything. "I'm sorry, Leah. You're right. I shouldn't be talking to you about this. You know I'd never purposely hurt Seth. I'm trying not to here."

"I know, Jake. It's just... It broke Seth when things didn't work out with him and Lauren. He won't admit it, but it did. You should have seen him, Jake. And I felt it. Even though I'm not sure how Bella feels about him, I know how she feels about you. I don't want to see him hurt again. I'm afraid that'll happen if you go over there and try to pick up with Bella where you left off."

"I don't want to see him hurt! I don't want him pissed off at me, either. But how is it fair to Bella if she's waiting for me to come home? Or what about me?"

"It's not fair. That's why I can't get involved in whatever you all do. That's why I can't know anything about it."

"So… do you think I should wait until Seth's over this Lauren girl?"

She rolled her eyes and snapped at me. "I didn't say that! I said, do what you want, Jake. Just leave me out of it!"

"Okay, Leah. Jeez!" I sighed. "Can I at least ask you this? If I waited until... summer, because I'll only be here for ten days. Do you think Seth will give me the same courtesy and not interfere?"

She gave me a look of disbelief. "You'd risk the possibility she could fall for Seth or some other guy in the meantime? May is months away."

I took the liberty to ask, "Is it an enormous risk?"

"It's a risk. A tiny one as far as I know, but it still exists."

The possibility of Bella falling for Seth, or some other guy, existed if she and I got together now or not. May was a long time away. "I might. Like I said, I don't want to see Seth hurt. I really missed Bella, though. More than anyone."

"If you waited, I'd talk to Seth for you. I'd do my best to get him to understand. Bella. She'll hate me if she even thinks I talked you into anything. The decision must be all yours, Jake. Either way, I'll respect whatever you decide, and I won't be mad at you."

"Thanks," I said, grateful for her honesty.

As soon as we could get away from Sue, Harry, and Billy, we went to the Swan house. We didn't call to tell anyone we were coming. I wanted to surprise them. Renee answered the door.

"Jacob!" She reached up and hugged me, then stepped back, looking me over. "You're getting... so tall. Now don't get too much taller. Remember, I'm saving Bella for you." She winked.

"I'll try not to." I chuckled, glancing over at Seth and catching his aggravated eye roll.

I had heard similar remarks from her over the years. I never knew why she made them. I used to think it was just to irritate Emmett or to embarrass Bella. Whatever the reason, I sort of enjoyed hearing that from her.

Jasper and Emmett weren't home, and Bella was up in her bedroom. Renee said Bella wasn't feeling well, whispering she didn't think Bella was sick, only feeling down. She had me go up by myself to surprise her. Because I didn't call her, I was nervous about seeing her again. I wished I realized it earlier, but Renee wouldn't have thought twice about me asking to speak with Bella.

Creaks echoed with every step I pressed into on my way up. Good luck sneaking in or out of the house using these stairs!

The quietness of the hallway filled me with anxiousness. I took a deep breath, hoping she'd be excited to see me, then knocked on the door.