Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass and I'm homebound
That's how things started. How things began, and came to pass. A lone soul wandering the streets that forever slept in the darkness of night, unaware of his current position. He was no more than an empty shell – a form lacking emotion. Or, so they say. His self, being one of the more stubborn ones, insisted that they had emotions, feelings, hearts – that they weren't just Nobodies. They weren't just things that weren't meant to exist. They were somebody. They had a place in the world. They were important. They…
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making my way
Through the crowd
So he walked – through the masses of Nobodies and Heartless, down the deserted streets, drenched by a steady downpour of rain with each step he took. How did all of this come to be? Him…the Organization… Axel.
Axel.
Nothing could describe the spiky red head. Even through years of building his vocabulary with adjectives that could melt the soul, no words could come close to telling how he felt for him. He was the first to extend a hand – the first to call his name – the first to make him feel whole. And for that, he respected him.
Though, at the same time, he loved him.
He loved him for the way he took him in. The way he shouted his name, even if it was in annoyance. For the way he held his hand…and for the way they embraced in the dead of night.
But…being a Nobody, he wasn't allowed these feelings, right? His mind begged to differ.
And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder
The aforementioned young man was only a few years his senior…and yet, he had fallen for someone several years his junior. The new kid in the Organization – number XIII. Roxas. He had seen the two together day after day since he arrived…and because of that, their partnership was broken up to make way for the newbie.
Saying that he missed Axel would be an understatement. With someone else to amuse him, the man no longer spared any attention to him. And it annoyed him. Loneliness, jealousy, envy, annoyance…that, and everything in between all rolled up into one heck of an emotion.
His black hole of a heart had been ripped, torn into shreds, then brushed away like it was nothing.
If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
Without a partner to guide him, what was he to do now? Of course, he still had his aqua summons…but other than that, who?
If he could just fall away…melt into the darkness…escape from their happiness…would it make things better for him? After all – no one really seemed to care about his wellbeing anymore. He cared for them, though his feelings remained unheard. Try as he might, VIII never looked at him like he did XIII…Despite the time they spent together…despite everything…he had never felt his passion returned.
He was jealous. And he hated himself for that.
Cause you know I'd
Walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you tonight
No. Axel didn't know that he'd do anything in creation to have him smile. He didn't know that he would die for him – which, of course, was somewhat impossible…seeing as they weren't really meant to exist anyway, despite the words he continually fed himself.
Axel had no clue of the feelings he felt for him. Once, he said that Roxas was the only one who made him feel like he had a heart – like he was whole. He would ramble on about how he loved spending time with the boy before running off to find him…and it was almost sickening. Why the new kid? Why not the person who always listened to any and all rants, and didn't receive anything in return?
Little did Axel know, he was the one who made him feel complete. Axel was his Roxas.
It's always times like these
When I think of you
And wonder if you ever think of me
Times like these…rainy nights. His own element blocking out Axel's - the fire that lit up his life…or, at least, used to. Walking down the empty streets occasionally filled with Nobodies – shadows flickering from corner to corner – exactly how it was when the other first found him.
Why couldn't things just go back to the way they were? Before Roxas…or, perhaps, before any of them were turned into Nobodies: back to the times before the Heartless, before the pain, before the trial, before the suffering.
Back to the times before he had broken his heart.
'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Living in your precious memory
It would be best if Axel just forgot about him. Or, rather, if the memories of the times they spent together would just vanish with the breeze. Would things be better that way? Then, VIII could flirt and do whatever he pleased with XIII…and he, IX, wouldn't need to fight over this sin of envy.
He didn't belong here. None of them belonged in this world, or any world for that matter. They were just fragments of others, left behind as their heart turned to darkness. All of them, the Nobodies…they didn't exist. They simply were.
It would be best for everyone if a Nobody like him just…died. After all – no feelings, no heart, no hope, no friends – no one would miss him. No one cared for him. He didn't matter. No reason to bid adieu…but…for some reason or another, the time he spent with his partner…he had worn off on him. His habits, speech, style – it was all there, fresh in his mind. Images of the two of them fighting beside each other, creating a dazzling duet – it was all there. All…there…all he could do…
Good-bye to you, Axel – farewell to the memories, wishes, hopes, and dreams. And to others…name's Demyx. Got it memorized?
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AN: Well…first shot at doing a Kingdom Hearts fanfic, and I think I did pretty well at a oneshot. Comments, reviews, and crits will be loved. Got it memorized? XD
Song: "1000 Miles" by Vanessa Carlton