A/N: I know I said this was going to be the last part, but! ! As I wrote this, I realized it was getting too long and too crowded. So I'm splitting it up (again) because I think the reading experience will be better.
The last part (I promise this time) will be up either on the 9th late or on the 10th.
Technically, this is the chapter for the free day, but I think I can cheat and say it's for the 'favourite relationship' prompt, hehe.
—
—
Maybe we're from the same star
—
part three
—
Tifa spends her seventeenth year away from her soulmate.
On the morning Cloud leaves to attend university in Midgar, Tifa can't find the energy to go on with her day. She tried when she woke up—she dressed, went to the bathroom, brushed her teeth. But then she walked back into her room to get her phone and saw the notification for a message from Cloud. All at once, the reality of his departure, the one she'd suppressed since waking up, overwhelmed her, and she collapsed on her bed.
It's warm in her room, and she kicks the covers at the end of the bed. She looks at the star stickers on the ceiling, the ones she never found the will to remove—they remind her too much of starry nights and promises. And yet right now she wishes they were gone; she can't envisage looking at them every night for the next year. Her eyes close when she hears the front door open and voices rise; despite being muffled by her door, she knows who the second voice belongs to. The sound of footsteps grows louder; he knocks on her door. Tifa doesn't answer.
"Tifa?" Cloud's voice is soft as if afraid to wake her up, but her father must have told him she was up earlier.
It hurts to hear him while knowing he'll be gone in a few hours. Tifa can't imagine living a year with him away. The prospect is suddenly real, too real, and it coaxes her sadness out of hiding; short, muted sobs escape her. It doesn't feel like crying, not exactly; there are barely any tears. It feels like something is scratching at her insides to get out, and she needs to expel it before it shreds her to pieces. Tifa brings her hands up to cover her face as if to mask her pain. The logical part of her is aware she'll be able to talk with him, to see him through video calls—but that is so different, so scary when she is used to seeing him every day. When she is able to grab his hand whenever she needs that reassuring feeling his touch brings.
She hears her door open and Cloud coming closer; Tifa twists on her side in the vain hope to conceal her state from him. The bed dips as he sits on the edge, and when he strokes her arm, the tears fall at last. Cloud says nothing, and she doesn't want words of comfort, anyway. She just wants him to stay. Him leaving—no matter how temporary it is—feels like losing parts of her. Cloud is too many things—the guy she loves, her best friend, her soulmate. Their lives have been intrinsically linked for so long that his presence fills countless fissures in her soul, and she fears that with him gone, she won't be whole again.
Her breathing evens out after a few minutes. Cloud's hand drifts to her hair, and he runs his fingers through the strands; the movements are gentle and careful so he doesn't hit any knots. It soothes Tifa enough for her to finally face him. His hand moves away to avoid tangling her hair.
"Hi." There are dark circles under his eyes and his smile is slight, strained.
"Hey," she whispers.
Silence falls, and for the first time in years, Tifa doesn't know what to say. The apprehension surrounding his departure has sapped the familiarity out of their interactions. It's Cloud who recovers first; he pulls at her arms until she sits up. Though she doesn't want to move, she complies. There's no point in staying hidden in her room all day—she knows that. But stepping outside feels like allowing time to keep on ticking; in the cocoon of her room, with Cloud at her side, she can pretend they never have to abandon their slice of the universe. Cloud leans forward, grabbing tissues from her night table, and hands them to her. She dabs her tears away, then gets up to throw out the tissues; he doesn't stop her when she exits her bedroom.
Once inside the bathroom, Tifa splashes cold water on her face, hoping it will snap her out of this miserable state. When she looks up at the mirror, she sees Cloud leaning against the doorway, arms crossed. Her eyes find the bracelets she gave him years ago—only this time, he wears them on his right wrist. The sight chokes her up again, but she takes a deep breath and swallows down the rising melancholy.
"I didn't think you still had those," she says, not turning around. She needs to distract herself, needs to busy her hands. The makeup bag on the counter catches her attention, and she pulls out the tube of mascara.
"Of course, I still had them." Cloud doesn't move from his spot, but he keeps his eyes on hers through the mirror.
Tifa applies the mascara mechanically. "They're supposed to be on the other wrist." She's not sure why she says that; it sounds bitter and childish, like she's itching for a fight when it's not the case. It's anger she needs to evacuate, she realizes, even if it's not directed at him. But before she can soften her statement, Cloud speaks up.
"I'm not hiding my mark again," he says.
She shoves the mascara back into the makeup bag, deflating at his blank tone. "I'm sorry." She lets out a breath. "I didn't mean that."
"I know."
Of course he does. There isn't much they don't know about the other, and in the moment, it's just another painful reminder of what she's losing for a time. Tifa drops her hands on the counter to support herself. For the last six months, this day never appeared that momentous, and she never thought her reaction to it would be so intense.
"It's only a year," she says, loud and clear as if to convince herself. When she repeats the words, she understands that is what she is trying to do.
"Tifa." Cloud comes behind her, his hands on her shoulders pressing down in a wordless indication to relax. She hadn't even been aware of how tense her body had become. "It is only a year, and then you'll come to Midgar as planned."
Because that is what they decided. Once Tifa graduates, she'll attend university in Midgar and come to live with him. When they had spoken of this to their parents, Cloud had said it was the best option for everyone—she wanted to go to Midgar, he'd need a roommate, and her father wouldn't want Tifa to be all alone in such a big, faraway city, wouldn't he? Tifa had been surprised her father hadn't protested; she had never expected him to say no, but she had figured they'd have to fight more for this. But her Dad had shrugged after a moment of silence and said that it indeed sounded like the best solution.
They've never discussed the exact nature of their relationship with their parents. In a way, they don't even know. To them, they just are. Putting labels has never seemed like a necessity. Things changed ever since her sixteenth birthday, ever since that night she kissed Cloud and the world flared up with colors, but they've kept this mostly secret. Not wanting to share what they have is a habit from their childhood they couldn't leave behind. So when Cloud had said they could be roommates, nothing had seemed out of the ordinary. But Tifa hadn't missed the amused glint in her Dad's eyes; he had understood what they were doing. She'd kept silent about this once Cloud and Claudia had gone, and so had her father.
"It just seems…so far away," she admits after a stretched out silence. "Even when I rationalize it, I can't accept it."
"It's hard for me, too." He wraps his arms around her waist and kisses the back of her neck, nothing more than a feather-light brush of his lips. "You know I'm gonna miss you."
"I know," she whispers, finally releasing her grip on the counter. Tifa glimpses their reflection, and for some reason, it's too much to take in—the way she folds against his body, the way he rests his head against hers. She twists around to hug him, hiding her face in his shoulder. All morning, she focused on how difficult this would be for her, but now she realizes Cloud won't have it any easier, half a world away in a city he barely remembers, surrounded by so many unknowns.
"I'll miss you, too." His shirt muffles her words, but the way his arms tighten around her tells her he heard.
"Come on, you need to eat," he says though he makes no move to pull away.
"I'm not hungry." It's true; the anxiety turned her stomach upside down.
Cloud sighs into her hair but doesn't push it. "Are you sure you don't want to come to the airport?"
Tifa stiffens. "We've already talked about that."
"Kind of." There's no annoyance in Cloud's voice, only a mild sadness like he tried to hide it, but it seeped through.
That she wouldn't accompany him and his mother to the airport is something she decided two days ago. It wasn't planned that she would, but Tifa was aware it was expected. The night before she had told him of her decision, she had twisted and turned in her bed, picturing them saying goodbye in such a public place; pictured him walking away to get through security. Anxiety had assailed her violently, then—the first sign that she wasn't handling this as well as she thought. In the morning, she had let him know she'd stay in Nibelheim. Cloud's hurt had been visible, and the tension had thickened enough to be palpable. Neither of them had urged their point, and the conversation had come to a standstill. Tifa doesn't want to discuss this again.
"Do we have time to go to the field?" Even though she knows what he'll say, she can't help but ask.
Cloud hesitates, then steps back. "We'll have to take the car."
Tifa's head snaps up at his answer. This isn't what she had expected. "Really?"
"We won't have long. C'mon," he says as he grabs her hand and leads her downstairs.
They only stop so she can say 'good morning' to her father before climbing into Claudia's car and taking off.
"You already had the keys," Tifa says. She glances at him, noting a smirk on his lips. "You knew I would ask."
"Had a hunch," he replies smoothly, keeping his eyes on the road. "I didn't want to lose time."
Her heart hurts at this; she'd rather forget they have less than one hour left. The drive to their usual spot is less than ten minutes. Once they get to their favorite tree, Tifa sprawls out in the grass, staying under the shade of the tree. Cloud sits next to her, resting back on his hands.
"I wonder if I'll like Midgar," Tifa says after a few minutes of comfortable silence.
"Why wouldn't you?"
"It's just so different."
Cloud laughs. "Understatement."
"I'm sure it'll be fine." She turns her head to look at him, finding his eyes already on her. "I'll be with you."
His features soften, losing the edginess from earlier. Cloud shifts so he's leaning over her. "Everything will be fine, Tifa. I pro—"
She puts a finger over his lips to keep him from continuing. Hearing this kind of promise will only make her sad. Though she says nothing, Cloud gets it—he understands she doesn't care for words right now. He dips down to kiss her; his hand slides in her hair, tilting her head back a little. Tifa wraps her arms around his neck to bring him closer and closer—she wants him to melt into her because then he wouldn't be gone, not really. Cloud drops kisses along her cheek, making his way to her neck, her collarbone, down the skin exposed by the V-cut of her blouse. Tifa runs her fingers through his hair, tugging at the strands to bring him back up so she can kiss him again and again.
Time stops and everything is good—Cloud is here and so is she. The sun heats her skin and the grass brushes against her; it's a dreamlike state, like she found the place she wants to stay for ever and ever. But the illusion splinters when Cloud breaks away from her and checks the time on his phone. When his eyes widen, and he jumps to his feet, Tifa curses herself for believing in that idyll for even a second; it made the nightmare of her reality so absolute.
They hurry back to the car, and Cloud drives them back to his house. Claudia is already on the porch, looking more than pissed off. Tifa slowly gets out of the car, ignoring Claudia scolding her son. She takes in the scene with an absent mind—Cloud runs into the house to get the last of his things, Claudia on his heels; they come back and load his luggage in the car; her father saying goodbye before throwing her a worried glance and walking back into their house. Tifa can't believe what she's seeing because—
This can't be it, can it? This can't be how they part.
"I'm coming with you," she says, the words bursting out before she can think over her decision. "I'm coming to the airport."
Cloud freezes, hands on the trunk to close it. Claudia falls silent as well; she pushes Cloud out of the way and shuts the trunk.
"Are you sure?" Cloud asks as he comes around the car to Tifa's side.
She nods, and the relief in his eyes is apparent.
"Then, let's go, you two!"
Claudia's voice has them scramble to get inside the car. Cloud sits in the backseat, and Tifa is glad she didn't have to ask him. The drive to the airport in Rocket Town goes by too fast—the three of them chat, then let the silence grow, only to talk again. Once more, Tifa is struck by how ordinary everything seems even though this is the last day of what she knows as 'normal'. The bustle of the airport makes Tifa anxious; Cloud's departure is now very, very real to her. She makes efforts to control her breathing, but she can tell Claudia notices as they wait for Cloud to check in his luggage. Because they left late, there's no time for Cloud to hang around with them, and they walk towards the line for security. Tifa's heart beats so hard, so fast that she can't imagine it not splitting open.
Cloud says goodbye to his mother first; Tifa glances away not only to give them privacy but also because it means her goodbye grows near. When she feels his hands cradling her face and raising her head, Tifa inhales deeply to keep calm. As much as this is tearing her apart, as much as this is scaring her, she'd rather not show it to the world. Cloud gives her a small smile, but she sees the disquiet in his eyes. Tifa grabs his left wrist, encircling his mark, pressing her thumb against his pulse—feeling it always soothes her, but today it does the opposite.
His voice is so low she has to strain to hear him. "I love you, okay? It'll be fine."
"I know," she lies, gulping down the panic. "I love you, too."
Cloud lets out a long breath and moves suddenly, crushing her against him; the strength of his hug almost hurts, but Tifa doesn't mind. She doesn't want him to go. And yet—
"Cloud, you have to go," she whispers into his neck.
"I don't want to." His mumble is nearly lost into the noise of the airport. Still, he breaks away a little, just enough so he can kiss her.
Tifa closes her eyes at the wildness of his lips on hers. They never display affection like this in public, an unspoken understanding between them, but at the moment, she couldn't care less. When he pulls back, it takes a lot out of her to let go.
"I'll see you soon," he says.
Though Tifa wants to close her eyes, she watches him walk through the gate leading to security. She feels a hand on her arm, knows it's Claudia, and yet she can't bring herself to move. Tifa holds her breath as Cloud disappears from sight.
"Tifa," Claudia says kindly, "we have a long drive ahead of us. Let's go."
Tifa nods, the gesture reflexive more than anything. They exit the airport and walk to the car. The whole time, Tifa feels weird—stunned, maybe, like what happened hasn't hit her yet. It's when they drive away from Rocket Town that she realizes Cloud has left, and the tears fall in silence. Claudia notices, but she gives Tifa time before speaking.
"It hurts when they leave, doesn't it?"
Tifa keeps quiet; the pain in her chest—that pain she hasn't felt in such a long, long time—is horrible, almost unbearable. She's not even sure she can speak, or she'll vomit. But Claudia seems to get it.
"The pain was terrible when my soulmate left," she adds. The way she says it is almost casual, but there's no hiding the undercurrent of grief. "Mind you, our situation was different from yours and Cloud's. Still, the pain is the same."
It takes Tifa a few minutes to get herself composed enough to talk. "Was it Cloud's father?" She knows he left them the year before they moved to Nibelheim.
"No," Claudia replies with a snort. "It was someone else. It doesn't matter now, of course. That was years ago."
A vague memory from when Tifa was a child surfaces, and she asks, "Was this why you didn't want Cloud to have a soulmate?" This is a question she's never dared to ask, but she can't see the opportunity presenting itself again.
"Oh, dear. It's a little more complex than that." Claudia sighs. "I didn't want him to get hurt the way I did, yes. I figured growing up together would create a strong bond between the two of you, and I was afraid it would hurt Cloud if something happened to you." She chuckles. "But that boy has never listened to me, so I gave up a long time ago. It had nothing to do with you, Tifa."
"I never thought that," Tifa says because it's true. She never got that impression from Claudia. With jerky movements, she wipes the tears off her cheeks, holding in the next wave.
"It's okay to cry, Tifa." Claudia smiles and, eyes still on the road, turns the radio on.
Grateful for Claudia's understanding and for the noise drowning out her soft sobs, Tifa lets the tears fall.
—
[08/29 - 18:31] C: just landed in midgar.
[08/29 - 18:33] T: did it go well?
[08/29 - 18:34] C: second flight was delayed but yeah it was fine.
[08/29 - 18:34] T: can you call me once you get to your apartment? i want to hear your voice.
[08/29 - 18:37] C: yeah. me too.
[08/29 - 18:40] C: i already miss you.
[08/29 - 18:41] T: i miss you too.
[08/29 - 18:41] C: will you still be up in two hours?
[08/29 - 18:43] C: never mind, forgot about the time difference for a second. it's almost midnight here.
[08/29 - 18:43] T: i forgot too! call tomorrow if you're too tired.
[08/29 - 18:44] C: no. i want to hear you.
—
[09/04 - 12:13] T: school sucks without you.
[09/04 - 12:20] C: obviously.
[09/04 - 12:21] T: i'm serious.
[09/04 - 12:23] C: so am i.
[09/04 - 12:23] T: i really wish you were here. i hate that I'm spending my last year without you.
[09/04 - 12:25] T: i wish you could be here for my birthday.
[09/04 - 12:36] T: i'm sorry, i know that was selfish.
[09/04 - 12:37] INCOMING CALL - CLOUD
—
[10/31 - 20:23] T: are you up?
[10/31 - 20:30] C: yeah, what's up?
[10/31 - 20:32] T: i wanted to show you my dress for tonight.
[10/31 - 20:34] C: the kimono one you talked about?
[10/31 - 20:40] T: yes.
[10/31 - 20:40] T: You sent a photo
[10/31 - 20:41] T: do you like it?
[10/31 - 20:48] T: hellooo?
[10/31 - 20:52] C: that was mean. really mean.
[10/31 - 20:53] T: but do you LIKE it.
[10/31 - 20:55] C: you knew i would like it.
[10/31 - 20:56] C: you look amazing.
[10/31 - 21:00] T: i don't even feel like going.
[10/31 - 21:03] T: honestly i just wanted to wear this for you.
[10/31 - 21:07] C: i wish i was there right now. you're bringing that to midgar.
[10/31 - 21:08] C: and you know you'll have fun if you go.
[10/31 - 21:10] T: i know. but i'd rather have fun with you.
[10/31 - 21:14] T: You sent a photo
[10/31 - 21:16] C: fuck you don't play fair.
—
[11/20 - 03:06] C: i'm sorry, i know it's the middle of the night for you.
[11/20 - 03:08] C: but i just…i miss you a lot.
[11/20 - 03:09] C: i woke up two hours ago and i've been feeling like shit. i wish i could hold you right now, you know that always calms me down.
[11/20 - 03:20] C: i wish i'd stayed home for the year.
[11/20 - 03:51] C: forget that please, i don't want to make you feel worse about this situation.
[11/20 - 07:42] CALLING - CLOUD
[11/20 - 07:42] CALL DECLINED
[11/20 - 07:43] T: please pick up. i need to talk to you.
[11/20 - 07:59] T: i know you're ignoring me. don't do that.
[11/20 - 08:14] CALLING - CLOUD
[11/20 - 08:15] CALL DECLINED
[11/20 - 08:15] C: i'm in class.
[11/20 - 08:16] T: call me when you're done. please.
[11/20 - 16:32] CALLING - CLOUD
[11/20 - 16:32] CALL DECLINED
[11/20 - 16:37] T: fine.
—
[11/22 - 19:45] INCOMING CALL - CLOUD
[11/22 - 19:45] YOU DECLINED THE CALL
[11/22 - 19:52] C: i'm sorry, i was feeling really bad about all this and i needed a moment to myself. it's really hard to be here, i'm trying my best but i get days where i regret it. i know you'll tell me i shouldn't regret it even if you also wish i was home. i don't want to be unfair to you but at the same time i don't want to lie.
[11/22 - 19:56] C: i want to talk to you, please.
[11/22 - 20:11] T: you could have just said you weren't up to talking to me instead of refusing my calls.
[11/22 - 20:14] C: i know. i'm sorry.
[11/22 - 20:30] CALLING - CLOUD
—
[12/31 - 19:00] C: it's already the new year here so…happy new year. i can't wait to see you. sorry I couldn't go home for christmas.
[01/01 - 00:00] T: happy new year! i'm sorry i didn't reply earlier, i didn't see the message. you'll see this in the morning but i love you and i wish i was with you. it's ok about christmas, we all understood.
[01/01 - 00:02] C: still awake. love you too.
[01/01 - 00:05] T: why aren't you sleeping, it's like 5am for you!
[01/01 - 00:10] C: insomnia.
[01/01 - 00:13] T: again?
[01/01 - 00:14] C: it's been bad recently. i didn't say anything since it usually goes away after a few days.
[01/01 - 00:16] T: how long?
[01/01 - 00:20] C: two weeks.
[01/01 - 00:21] T: give me a minute.
[01/01 - 00:22] C: sure.
It takes Tifa a while to find a room that's empty in her friend's house. The door muffles the music well enough, and she's glad to find it has a lock. Once she's sure she won't be bothered, she plops down on one couch; the room is an office with floor-to-ceiling bookcases and an enormous wood desk. She doesn't care where she is as long as she can be alone.
[01/01 - 00:34] T: still up?
[01/01 - 00:35] C: yeah.
She presses the button for a video call, excitement making her pulse drum faster. It takes seconds for Cloud to pick up, and when the camera turns on, her breath hitches. It's not the first time they've done this kind of call, but it's always a slight shock when she sees him, like pieces just fall into place. Cloud reclines on his bed, his lamp on the night table the only source of light. He gives her a warm but tired smile once he sees her.
"Happy new year," he says.
"Happy new year." She smiles as she burrows deeper into the couch and sits cross-legged, getting comfortable. "What did you do?"
He rubs his cheek with the hand not holding the phone. "Not much. My roommate dragged me to a party, but we didn't stay long. We were back half an hour after midnight hit."
"It wasn't fun?"
"We both weren't feeling it." Cloud shrugs.
"That sucks."
"It's fine. I wasn't in the mood to party, anyway."
Tifa bites her lip. "I'm not either. I went because I needed the distraction."
"Yeah…" Cloud sighs. "This sucks."
"It does," she says softly. "So why can't you sleep?"
He stays quiet for a minute, then says, "I think it's stress. While everything is happening, I can keep calm under pressure, but once I have nothing to do, it catches up to me. I was stressed about the end of the semester, not going home for Christmas." He pauses. "I also really wanted to see you, and I know you did, too."
She knows him well enough to guess he feels guilty. "Don't feel bad about that."
"I'm trying." Frustration enters his voice, and his face mars in a frown. Tifa can't say if he feels this way before he's tired or because he's fed up—probably both. "I'm trying, but sometimes it's hard. I keep thinking I'm letting you down," he says with a loud sigh.
"Did you drink by any chance?" she asks, her tone dry.
Cloud opens his mouth, and she knows he's about to deny it when he closes it—only to reopen it and say, "Yeah. It's New Year," he adds, almost defensively. "It's New Year, and I miss you, and I feel like shit. I might have drank a little."
"It's fine," she says gently. "You're usually less open, that's why I asked."
He shakes his head. "I'm open with you."
"I know." She's seen Cloud in this state before, when he's drunk just enough to let down some walls while keeping his head. It's a different kind of candor than his usual one. "I really miss you, too," she says instead of arguing.
"Fuck, I hate this." His words are nothing more than a mumble, but she hears them. His voice gets clearer as he carries on, "I want to kiss you, to feel you, just be with you." Cloud ruffles his hair to let out his irritation. "I hate this," he says again.
"I'll be there in summer, you know that."
"Summer is too far." He sounds like a petulant child, but Tifa reins in her laugh.
"I think it's far, too. But you're having fun, right? Didn't you say your roommate is a funny guy?"
Cloud grunts a wordless answer.
"What will he say when I come take his place?" Tifa asks with a playful smile.
"I don't care what he says," Cloud says, too seriously. "He's leaving the second you get here."
This time, she lets out a laugh. "Why, do you want me all to yourself?"
His smile is slow and lazy. "You know I do." A yawn escapes him, and he covers his mouth with his hand.
"I think you should go sleep," Tifa says even if the idea disappoints her a little. "I'll talk to you later, alright?"
Though he looks like he wants to protest, a second yawn decides for him. "Okay. Good night."
"Good night."
As she goes to hang up, Cloud speaks again. "That dress looks amazing on you. You should bring it with you."
Tifa ducks her head to hide her satisfied smile. "Will do."
"With that kimono from Halloween."
"Good night, Cloud," she says while laughing.
"Yeah, yeah." He yawns for the third time. "Later."
She presses the red button before she can change her mind.
—
[03/27 - 14:31] T: hey are you alright? you never replied yesterday.
[03/27 - 16:05] T: cloud? i'm worried.
[03/27 - 18:46] CALLING - CLOUD
[03/27 - 18:47] YOUR CALL WENT TO VOICEMAIL
[03/27 - 19:03] T: cloud this isn't funny, if you're ok just answer me.
[03/27 - 19:10] C: sorry, i'm fine.
[03/27 - 19:12] T: don't lie to me.
[03/27 - 19:18] T: what is going on.
[03/27 - 19:23] C: i don't feel good.
[03/27 - 19:24] T: do you need to go to the hospital?
[03/27 - 19:36] C: no, i just…don't feel good.
[03/27 - 19:39] T: cloud, please talk to me.
[03/27 - 20:00] C: i feel bad because i'm having fun here. i'm making friends and going out and it's fun but you're not here. you're still home and i know you hate it. and sometimes i forget about all this but when i remember i feel bad. i feel like i'm doing something wrong by having a life here and i can't enjoy it anymore, but then i feel guilty when i speak with you. i don't know what to do anymore.
[03/27 - 20:10] C: i just need some time to think.
[03/27 - 20:13] T: can i call you.
[03/27 - 20:18] C: i'm tired. it's late here. we'll talk tomorrow ok?
[03/27 - 20:26] T: alright…
—
[03/28 - 08:54] CALLING - CLOUD
[03/28 - 08:55] YOUR CALL WENT TO VOICEMAIL
[03/28 - 15:31] CALLING - CLOUD
[03/28 - 15:31] CALL DECLINED
[03/28 - 19:18] T: i won't call you a thousand times.
[03/29 - 02:37] T: i love you, please talk to me.
—
[04/19 - 15:13] YOU HAVE A NEW VOICE MESSAGE:
Hi… It's Cloud. Tifa, I'm…I'm sorry for how I've been recently. For ignoring you. I just want to explain as best as I can. I know it's unfair. You've been such a huge part of my life for so long that I felt like I was betraying you by making a place for myself here. I've been thinking a lot and I feel better with this now. I think I understand where I'm going wrong. I just…sometimes I think of my seventeenth birthday. You told me I was leaving you behind. I guess that stuck with me. I'm afraid to let you down. You're so important to me, and I'm terrified of hurting you. But I feel like it's what I keep doing. Anyway…please call me back. I love you, okay? Just…please. Remember that.
[04/19 - 19:02] T: i'm not ready to talk to you yet.
[04/19 - 19:05] C: ok, i'll wait.
[04/19 - 20:47] T: i don't know when i'll be ready.
[04/19 - 21:01] C: i'll wait.
—
On her eighteenth birthday, Tifa stays home. Her friends from school tell her how lame that is, but Tifa doesn't care. It rains that night, anyway, and she doesn't care about a lot of things recently. Her father and her have dinner together before she goes into her room. She's glad he abstains from asking questions about Cloud or her perpetual foul mood. Once she's hidden away from the world, Tifa sprawls on her bed and stares at the ceiling. The glowing stars are still there, but tonight, she hates the sight of them, so she sits up cross-legged with a sigh. For what must be the hundredth time today, she checks her phone. Still nothing from Cloud. She throws the phone on the bed. While she doesn't want to be childish about this situation, part of her can't help her whirlwind of negative emotions.
Tifa picks up her laptop from her night table, deciding she needs a distraction. She puts on the first movie that looks remotely interesting. Fifteen minutes in, boredom takes hold of her, and her mind keeps wandering to her phone again. Still, she resists the urge of checking again and again. She'll just be disappointed again and again.
The knock on her door startles her, and she pauses the movie. "What is it, Dad?"
Her eyes are already back on the screen when he walks into the room, but his silence puzzles her; Tifa looks up, a question on her lips, and senses her heart stop when she sees who stands in the doorway.
Anxiety and tiredness radiate off Cloud in waves. His button-down shirt is wrinkled to hell and back, left open over a T-shirt with a coffee stain. A travel backpack is slung over his shoulders. At her perplexed stare, he shoves his hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched forward.
"Hi," he says.
"What are you doing here?" The words leave her even though she didn't mean to be rude.
Cloud shuffles his feet, taking her shock in stride. "You said you wanted me to be there for your birthday."
"I—that—that was months ago. In September," she says, still stunned. Her brain can't seem to process what is happening.
"I know."
Her heartbeat speeds up, going faster and faster until she thinks she will cry or scream or puke. "What about school?"
"I finished my exams yesterday."
Finally, Cloud moves; he drops his backpack on the floor, and the movement snaps Tifa out of her shock. She closes the laptop and climbs off the bed.
"I don't get it," she says, aware the statement is ridiculous. It's the only thing she can say, though.
"What don't you get?" Though Cloud tries to keep his tone even, there's no denying the flicker of anger in it. "It's not because we're fighting that I love you any less. You wanted me to be here; I want to be here." When she doesn't answer, he sighs. "Can we talk?"
"Yeah," Tifa replies automatically, staying put as he pads closer.
It sinks in at once that Cloud is here. She had gotten so used to the idea of not seeing him for another two months that his sudden presence was surreal. And despite the ugliness of the last weeks, she feels the happiness, the warmth he brings unfurl within her. As Cloud stops in front of her, Tifa acts on autopilot; she grabs his wrist and wraps her fingers around his mark, pressing her thumb against his pulse—its frantic rhythm betrays his nervousness.
Tifa had forgotten how grounding, how calming touching Cloud was. All that distance, all those months apart had dampened her memory. She's always felt a little stupid for thinking this sensation is caused by their soulmate bond, and even up to now she's had a hard time believing it. As she tightens her grip around Cloud's wrist, she realizes it really isn't the bond—it's just Cloud himself. Cloud, who is like home to her; who is the person she never loses sight of; who is as part of her as she is part of him.
Emotion seizes her, making it difficult to breathe or speak. "Hey," she rasps. "Welcome home."
The words release something within both of them—Tifa can feel it in herself and see it in Cloud. He reaches out and hugs her, enfolding her close against his body; he rests his forehead on hers, and she knows from his relieved expression that he feels as soothed as she does.
"How long are you staying?" she asks, her voice soft.
"I have to go back tomorrow. I couldn't take a leave from my job."
Tifa runs a hand through his hair, settling at the base of his skull. "You came for less than twenty-four hours?"
The look he gives her is telling enough, but he says, "It was important."
"You really didn't have to do this, you know?" She smiles, slow and gentle. "But I'm happy you did."
"I know. That's why it was important." His eyes close as if he is absorbing the moment, and when he reopens them, she sees the guilt in them. "I'm so sorry I hurt you."
She doesn't say it's fine, because she's not sure it is. Still, she doesn't want their time together to be filled with excuses and regrets.
"We can talk about that later, okay?"
"But—"
Tifa tilts her head back so she can kiss him, a quick brush of her lips against his to get him to shut up. "Later. I promise." They can't avoid this forever, but right now, she couldn't care less.
Cloud gets the message this time, and when he cups her cheek and kisses her, Tifa sighs. She pulls them back so they tumble on the bed, refusing to let go. His hands come up to steady their fall, and he laughs through their kiss.
"I missed you," he whispers against her lips. "I really, really fucking missed you."
A crash followed by curses coming from downstairs makes them jump apart, and Tifa remembers they're in her house with her Dad. The situation elicits a chuckle out of her; Cloud allows himself a slight smirk. He falls down on the bed next to her; Tifa presses against his side, clasping his hand and intertwining their fingers.
"I missed you, too," she says.
"You still have the stars on your ceiling." Cloud's voice holds an amused note, but mostly she hears the nostalgia.
"I almost removed them." The admission hurts now. "I'm glad I didn't."
In answer, Cloud squeezes her hand. Though they still have things to talk about and issues to work through, this moment feels right, real—and Tifa thinks she's finally earned an interlude from the nightmare of not having her soulmate by her side.
—