Author's rambling: Oh my, over 3000 words. I was less lazy this time. o.o Anyways.. this is sort of a bridge chapter. Also, it may be just a little confusing at some points. So feel free to email me with questions if need be. But rest assured that all will be explained in the course of time. And now, I thank my new consultant with a bow. -bows-

;Standard disclaimer applies.

Chapter twelve: Grieving

Lavender heaved a melodramatic sigh as she stood at the threshold to her new house. Getting her heavy bags of belongings up those steps had been a nightmare for her little arms. Collecting her breath, she puffed herself up smugly and began to inspect the sitting room. She hopped over to the moth-eaten couch and poked it vigorously in the way a cat would prod a dead rodent. Dust ejected from the armrest and made Lavender sneeze.

"Daddy!" she whined out. "This house is no good." Vash gradually surfaced up the stairs, lugging two bags of his own.

"What was that, Raven?" he huffed.

"I'm allergic to this house, dad," Lavender moaned. Vash nudged Lavender's bags out of the doorway with his ankle and set his down next to them.

"No, you're not," he said dismissively, wiping perspiration from his forehead. "It's just a little dusty, that's all." Vash heaved a sigh of his own, stepping back out into the glaring midday sun. How many times were they going to do this, he wondered? Moving had become such a frequent event in the last eight years that it almost seemed like an everyday affair. It was very wearing. Though it would have been quite normal for Vash, had he still been the same nomadic person he was twelve or so years back. So many things had changed; Vash no longer went by his name even. He reverted back to 'Eriks' when concerning anyone other than Milly.

If old habits died hard, Milly's did especially so. Not once in the numerous years she had known Vash had she ever called him anything other than "Mister Vash." She kept this to a minimum whenever Lavender was present, however. No doubt Lavender had picked up the legend of Vash the Stampede from some place or other. And if not, she certainly would in the course of time. Knowing this, Vash felt that there was simply no need to go by his given name. No one who wished to protect his daughter would use a name that attracted unwanted attention liable to thrust his family into dangerous situations. That was the reason for moving and all the changes besides—protection.

Vash stared up into the cobalt skies and felt a niggling pain in his chest. One of the wounds that had never really healed, or rather, had not begun to heal. Even in the eight years since then, there was not a day when she did not cross Vash's thoughts.

Milly pushed past Vash, a couple of boxes piled in her arms. Seeing the morose in his eyes, she smiled at Vash and would have grasped his forearm consolingly, had her arms not been preoccupied. Instead, she gave his foot a small nudge with her own. Vash snapped from his daze and glanced at Milly, arranging his mouth into a smile.

"Is there anything left?" he asked happily. Milly saw through his sanguine façade as though it were glass. There was not a thing she missed, after all. Nothing could be hidden from Milly's hawk-like eyes.

"Just the last two bags," she replied. Vash nodded and whipped down to the jeep, grabbing the remaining luggage from the trunk. Milly stepped inside the house and set the boxes at her feet, the floorboards creaking in protest as she did so. Her gaze circled the room. To her immediate left was a doorway to a bedroom and in the far left corner, another. Set against the wall in between them both was the decrepit sofa on which Lavender was now sitting, swinging her legs back and forth in boredom. Milly glanced to her right and observed the archway to the kitchen, the doorways to both another bedroom and the bathroom flanking either side of it.

Dust made itself known in the air and Milly sneezed just as Lavender had done. She frowned and began to inspect the cleanliness of the house. Lavender watched her scoot from room to room and chuckled as Milly came out of the bedroom alongside the kitchen with her hair a mat of cobwebs.

"I think this house could use a woman's touch," Milly said reprovingly, gliding her finger along the top of the mantelpiece that harboured the fireplace. Her index had left a trail of clean russet amid the grey soot.

"Well, how about we give it a little TLC this afternoon?" Vash proposed as he set the bags with the others.

"Why not?" said Milly cheerfully with a shrug. Vash gave her an appreciative smile then looked at Lavender.

"Well, okay," she groaned.

"Good. And when we're done, I'll treat us all to something yummy!" Vash beamed.

They ate a quick lunch of sandwiches that Milly had prepared beforehand and set to work. Vash went about all the nasty jobs like scrubbing the kitchen sink free of all grime, a long job considering the size of the basin, and clearing each room of its noxious-looking stains. Milly was placed with the easy, but laborious task of sweeping the dust out of each room and then removing the small household pests and cobwebs. Since Lavender was far too weak to do it alone, the three of them hefted the beds and sofa out into the air of the street so she could go about batting them all free of their dust and moths and whatnot else. The sheets and doonas also got a nice beating.

When all the necessary jobs were done and out of the way, the three of them marvelled at their work with gratified eyes then began the next job of unpacking their belongings. It was a less than arduous task since there was precious little to unpack and it took them just over half an hour to do so. With the day's labour completed roughly around five-thirty, Milly, Vash and Lavender set out into the heart of May city for dinner.

-

"That was nummy!" cried Lavender after her third bowl of boysenberry ice cream, smacking her lips.

"I'll say," Vash mumbled through a mouthful of donuts. Milly grinned but made no comment and continued shovelling pudding into her mouth. Vash and Lavender chuckled at her. It seemed the threesome had unceremoniously dismissed dinner and skipped straight on to dessert. Not such an unusual occurrence since they were all sweet-toothed.

Milly glanced curiously around the diner they were in. It was a family-friendly looking place even despite the few empty liquor bottles scattered around the tables and the veil of wispy cigarette smoke above them. Milly suppressed a sigh for the memories inspired by that smoke hanging in the air. How she missed that wonderful, albeit unconventional, priest. Even after all the years without him, the thorn in Milly's heart showed no signs of receding. But after the falling of her best friend, the pain doubled severely. It became almost unbearable for both Vash and Milly and it was only the simple rapport between them that kept them from unthinkable limits.

Sometimes, mostly at night when sleep eluded either of them, a sharp stab of loss would grip them and they would despair until granted the comfort of the other. Like a ray of sunlight breaking through the cement of storm clouds, Milly was a gift to Vash and he to her. In a world of cruelty, unfairness and harsh situations, all one really needed to survive was a good friend to stand by always.

"Shall we go?" Vash posed, yawning and pushing his empty box of donuts forward. Milly glanced back at him. She swallowed her mouthful of pudding and nodded.

"It is getting a little late," she replied. Lavender shrugged and scooped her last spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. They all stood, Milly and Lavender making for the exit while Vash paid, or rather lazily threw the correct amount of notes at, the restaurant owner and strolled out after them.

"Daaaaaad," Lavender yawned as they all padded down the street.

"Mm?" Vash looked warmly down at her.

"I'm tired," she stated. "Can you carry me the rest of the way?" she whined. Vash smiled and obliged his daughter, setting her on his shoulder. Lavender grinned and began impishly playing with Vash's long, non-spiked hair. Milly watched her and giggled at the wayward look on her face.

"Hey, you cut that out. Both of you," Vash laughed.

"Daddy," Lavender said in a slight wheedling tone. "It's my birthday in two weeks."

"So it is," Vash said with fake surprise. "How old will you be? Five? Six?"

"Da-ad!" Lavender exclaimed indignantly. "Don't be silly! I'm turning nine!" she corrected.

"Wow," said Milly. "You're growing up so fast, I can't believe it!" Lavender straightened up and looked proudly about her. Vash and Milly exchanged funny smiles.

"So what would you like?" Vash asked as they all turned up the stairs.

"I wanna see Syrell," Lavender demanded. Syrell, Vash recalled, was Lavender's best friend. They had met, and become very close, during the time Vash, Milly and Lavender were living in New Miami, some three years ago. It was a wonder, however, that they had managed to become so attached in the short time that they had known one another. As the threesome was constantly circumnavigating the planet, Lavender had very little time to make good friends. She made friends easily, of course, but not good friends. Thus, when she and Syrell were separated, she became very depressed. Very depressed, that was, for a six-year-old.

Vash pondered for a moment as he unlocked the front door. Though he would love to give his daughter what she really desired, New Miami was so very far away and they just couldn't afford to do extra travelling, what with only Milly's small wage to live by. It was strange that the Bernardelli Insurance Society still employed her after eight years of only correspondence work, but given the events that had taken place, it seemed that something like pity was to be had for her.

Vash suddenly felt a little regret that he had left his own job at the jewellers all those years ago. Katrina had been nice, very nice in fact, and was truly sad to see her employee leave. But as for Vash and Milly, neither of them could bear to live in a town that inspired such grief. Needless to say, also, that they knew Knives would return one day and they wished not to get those nice, friendly townspeople involved. So, since Vash knew exactly what it felt like to abscond on a good friend, he decided that he would one day, if not for Lavender's coming birthday, make amends for his daughter.

"Well, okay," Vash said, setting Lavender down on the sofa. "I think that can be arranged." Milly shifted uncertainly.

"Really?" Lavender grinned ecstatically at the prospect. Vash beamed and nodded.

"You promise?" Lavender coaxed, a suspicious but hopeful look in her eyes.

"I promise," Vash assured, hiding his own uncertainty. He turned to Milly for her support. "Right?" Milly stood resolute for a moment then quickly nodded and put a soft smile to her face.

"Yay!" Lavender cheered happily. She jumped up excitedly and hugged her father and surrogate mother. "You guys are the best!" she exclaimed. At that remark, Vash knew he would feel a great deal of guilt if he did not fulfil that promise.

"Thank you, thank you!" Lavender squealed in glee, bouncing from Vash to Milly and hugging them both in turn multiple times.

"Okay," Milly said. She couldn't help but laugh a little. "I think it's time for bed."

"Aww, alright," Lavender moaned, but traipsed towards her new bedroom. "Goodnight, then. Thank you!"

"'Night, Raven," Vash pet-called, waving after her.

"Goodnight, Lavender," said Milly. Only after Lavender shut the bedroom door behind her, did Milly and Vash swap apprehensive looks at one another.

-

It had been a mistake, he conceded, lashing out at her like that. And now he knew she would grieve having been ill treated. But it had been an accident. A simple build-up of stress released at the wrong time. Or so he kept telling himself. Nevertheless, it was a mistake he would remedy. He crept inaudibly along the steel corridor until he came to her room. Careful to still keep silent, he pressed his ear against the cool metal of the door and listened.

As predicted, she was crying, ostensibly in the far corner. But then…something else caught his ears. He leant in closer and discerned that she was speaking with someone. Then he realized that, no, she was not speaking but thinking. He listened for the other voice. However, it seemed that she was mentally speaking with none other than… herself?

-

Vash sat in the living room in his own presence, his cold, gaunt hands brushing the yellowing pages of the photo album and flicking them one after the other. His eyes followed the lines and shadows and details of each frame, gazing into the emotion displayed by each one and its contents. It was late, and only the moon's glow, billowing in through the window, illuminated the stills before him. Vash laid his weary eyes on the photos that consecutively showed Lavender's growth over the years.

In every second frame, she was wearing Vash's own silly grin; one of the few things Lavender had inherited from her father. For the greater part, she bore an uncanny resemblance to Meryl. She had raven hair, from which her pet name was derived, lilac eyes, a height to be laughed at and personality traits likes Meryl's such as moodiness, bossiness and a tendency to switch off. For this semblance, it sometimes pained Vash to look at his daughter; something he was not proud to tell anyone.

He turned back several pages, again, and stared into an image of Meryl. This was Vash's favourite photograph of her for the simple reason that she was not concealing herself with a smile but instead gave a warm, determined countenance.

"Daddy?" came Lavender's tiny voice from her bedroom doorway. Vash was started slightly but drew his eyes away from the album in front of him.

"What is it, sweetie?" he replied croakily, giving Lavender a tired smile.

"I can't sleep, dad. Can you get me a drink?" she asked.

"Sure," Vash said warmly, rising from his chair. "What would you like?"

"Just water."

Vash plodded into the kitchen, Lavender following. He retrieved a small glass from the cupboard and poured some water into it from the tap.

"There you go, honey."

"Thanks, dad," Lavender whispered, easing the glass into her grip. She toddled back out of the kitchen and towards her bedroom. Vash wandered back to the living room table and reclaimed his seat.

"Goodnight, daddy," Lavender bid.

"Goodnight, Raven," Vash replied. "Sleep well." Lavender disappeared behind the bedroom door. Vash returned his gaze to the album of monochrome photographs. He began to leaf through the pages once more but found his attention wouldn't hold to them so he got up and slumped down into the sofa. He put his head in his hands and sighed, not noticing Milly appear, clad in her yellow pajamas and a teddy in her arm, at the door to her own bedroom.

"You're still up, Mister Vash?" she exclaimed. Vash jumped slightly and looked up, quickly making shushing gestures with his hands.

"I can't sleep," he whispered hoarsely. Milly glanced sideways and registered the open book on the table. She pressed forward and took a seat next to Vash, putting an arm around him.

"Looking at the photo album again, huh?" she perceived. Vash looked away from her. He nodded.

"Mister Vash…" Milly began gently. "It's been eight years."

"I know," Vash conceded.

"Try and get some sleep," Milly pleaded. "You look awful. And you're going to come down with something if you start staying up to all hours again."

"I know."

Milly sighed, feeling a twinge at her eyes.

"I know," Vash reiterated for the third time. "And you're right."

Milly nodded, sensing the twinge leave her, putting her other arm around her friend.

"Do you still…?" Vash posed hesitantly.

"I try not to. I believe he wouldn't want me to live constantly grieving for him," Milly replied with an air of wisdom beyond her years. Vash felt a small smile grace his features.

"No, he wouldn't," Vash agreed, burying his face in the sunny fabric of Milly's nightclothes. "Thank you, Milly. It is important for me to stay strong."

Milly smiled and nodded.

"For Lavender. For all three of us."

"Yes," Milly agreed. They sat in silence for several moments.

"Goodnight, Milly," Vash murmured.

"Goodnight, Mister Vash," Milly replied, releasing Vash and standing up. "Sweet dreams." With that, she plodded back to her room with her teddy bear clutched tightly under her arm. Vash lifted himself up from the couch and stepped forward. He took one last heavy-eyed look at the photo album, engrossed in the photo of his love, a single tear beginning a trail down his cheek. The last of his grief spent, he flipped over the page and looked instead at a picture of his daughter.

"Lavender…" he breathed. "What would I do without you?"

-

'I only wish for my father's love,' he heard her say in a twin-tone. He was utterly bewildered. How was it possible to hear someone think? Let alone think with someone else who happened to be the same person. Then something clicked in his mind.

'Perhaps…'

He smiled. If his new theory was correct then what a fortunate happenstance this was. For eight long years they had evaded him. For eight years they had escaped his motives, when all that time, the key had been right within his grasp.

He envisioned it as he had done so many times before. He saw himself standing triumphantly over the small, limp body of another, laughing maliciously, and his eyes alight.

Another smile found his lips and he knocked gently on her door.

"Airies," he called through the metal with an air of sincere regret. "Please let me talk to you."

-

Vash tiptoed back out of Lavender's room. What a fearsome nightmare he had dreamt. He just had to check to see whether Lavender was alright. And she was. It was silly to have thought the specter of a nightmare could have harmed her, even if it did seem like a familiar figure. She was completely fine and that was the important thing.

But then again, Vash considered, perhaps it wasn't just a dream after all. Vash tried to put the word 'premonition' out of his mind but found it almost too difficult. Sighing ruefully, he made into Milly's bedroom and shook her gently by the shoulder.

"Milly," he whispered in a tone coaxing her to wake. Milly stirred and mumbled something incoherent about pudding. Gradually, she opened her eyes.

"Mister Vash?" she croaked, staring blearily up at him. "Why are you still up?"

"I'm not," Vash said absently. "Milly…we gotta go." Milly stared at him for a long while then a look of sad understanding came across her face.

"It's that time already?" she asked. She heaved a sigh. "And May city was such a nice place…"

And now it's that time already for you readers. :3 Review or I shall cry and not update for a very long time. I mean it. T-T