Disclaimer: I own nothing regarding GWTW

Author's Notes: Thank you for all the reviews and feedback.

Chapter Ten

Scarlett rarely volunteered to spend time with her children but when Rhett asked her to go to the park or walk with them, she happily went along. She did engage them in conversations over the dining room table every day. No, she would never be a good mother but with Rhett's help she was at least showing them love.

Rhett had made Scarlett go with him to the Episcopal church every Sunday much to Scarlett's discontent. He made her listen to the sermon by quizzing her about it on their way home.

One Sunday after they were alone, Scarlett said, "What happened to that amoral bastard that I married?"

"Except for going to church on Sunday, isn't your life a lot more fun now?"

Scarlett had smiled and said, "Yes, it is."

Another Sunday on their way home from church, Bonnie had whined, "Daddy, I don't want to go to church anymore. I want to stay at home with Mammy."

"First off, young lady, you know that I hate to hear you whining. Second, going to church is good for your soul something you are going to need later in life."

Scarlett, Wade, and Ella had suddenly gotten engrossed in the scenery outside their window. Bonnie then said, "Daddy, why don't I get a window?"

"Pumpkin, I have explained this to you before. Because you are the youngest you have to sit in the middle."

"I wish I had a baby brother or sister so they would have to sit in the middle."

"Even if you had a baby brother or sister you would still have to sit in the middle because all the window seats are taken. Do you want to come sit in my lap?"

"Yes."

Scarlett smiled. Rhett was still a softie where his child was concerned but he had gotten so much better than those first two years.

Rhett would never know why but God had given him a second chance to make his life better. Or maybe God had given him a second chance to make Scarlett's life better.

In May of eighty while the Butlers were in Boston to enroll Wade at Harvard, Scarlett was extremely concerned for Rhett's health. He had a cough that wouldn't go away, he was losing weight, he had lost his appetite, and she knew he often had chest pains although he tried to hide that from her.

Scarlett made Rhett take them to the Teaching Hospital in New York so he could be diagnosed by the leading minds in medicine. Rhett had not needed the leading minds in medicine. Any general practitioner could have diagnosed his disease. He had all the classic symptoms. As Rhett had known he had lung cancer. Even though he had quit that day in April the damage had already been done.

Rhett asked the doctor, "How is my liver?"

"Your liver is in great shape as far as I can tell."

"At least I saved myself from that."

"What, Rhett?"

"Nothing, Baby."

The doctor said to them both, "There is no cure for lung cancer," The doctor turned to Scarlett and said, "Take him home and make him as comfortable as possible. Let me give you a couple of bottles of laudanum for the pain. You can get more at your pharmacy."

In the cab back to the hotel Rhett could tell Scarlett was trying not to cry. He said, "This is all my fault. I'm the one who smoked all those cigars. I'm the one who ignored all your advice to quit smoking and drinking. Don't blame yourself in any way."

"If I hadn't been mooning over someone else, we could have had so many more years together."

"I would never have married you if I hadn't been afraid of losing you to someone else. So, we wouldn't have had any more years together."

"We could have had three more happy years together."

"No, we needed the bad years to make us treasure the good years. We have been happy together since the mill incident."

"Why did you change? One day you were being mean and hateful and the next day you were being sweet and thoughtful."

"Since the day we met again at the Hospital Bazaar I knew I loved you, but I was too scared to tell you."

"I can't imagine you being scared of anything"

"I was scared of you laughing at me and rejecting me. After I told you in my drunkenness that I loved you, I decided to play that hand out and be the husband I wanted to be. The husband you deserved."

"I'm so glad you did. I needed you so very much in that moment. I didn't have anybody else on my side except Melly."

"I don't want to talk about those days, and I don't want to talk about my diagnosis. I want to talk about where we are going to travel to this summer."

"Me too."

Rhett and Scarlett tried to live as normal a life as they could for as long as they could. Rhett had to order Wade to attend Harvard in the fall. It moved Rhett more than he could say that Wade wanted to protect him and take care of him.

In April of eighty-one, Rhett was completely bed ridden. His daughters would visit with him every afternoon. They would take turns reading to him. The stories were juvenile, but he appreciated their efforts to entertain him.

Rhett said to Bonnie, "I want you to go to college."

"No!"

It reminded Rhett of that spoiled, defiant, brat he had been raising. He said, "It will be my last request."

"No, Daddy. Don't try to guilt me into it."

Scarlett said, "Eugenia Victoria, if your father wants you to go to college you will go to college."

"Not if I get married first."

"You will need my permission to marry, and I won't give it until you at least give college a try. You might like it."

"This is blackmail."

"Maybe but I will honor my husband's last request."

Bonnie stormed off in a pout. Ella looked at her parents and left the room also.

Scarlett said, "Rhett, I am so happy you finally allowed me to tell her no."

"I guess I finally realized what a little brat she was turning into."

"She really was but she still has spirit and passion."

"Just like her mother."

Wade came home at the first of June. He and Rhett spent a lot of time talking about his classes and his plans for the future. Rhett didn't tell Wade to take care of his family. Wade would without being told.

As Rhett's time drew to an end. He talked to God. He no longer wondered if there was a God or not. He truly believed. He had asked for forgiveness of all of his sins. He had tried to think about each of the things he had done wrong in his life from not marrying that girl to being unfaithful to the woman he had loved. He had asked for forgiveness of them all.

One night when Rhett and Scarlett were alone, he said, "Saying I'm sorry doesn't take away the pain but I really am so very sorry for all the pain I caused you in our entire relationship."

"You have long ago been forgiven. I'm sorry it took me so long to see that you were the man I loved. I'm sorry for the pain I caused you also."

"You have been a perfect wife for the last ten years."

"I won't say you have been perfect, but I don't think I could live with perfect."

"How about perfect for me. Lord knows I could never have lived with Melanie Wilkes."

"She was hard to live with especially when someone kept pointing out how perfect she was."

"If you hadn't been so obtuse you would have known I never wanted perfect. I had always wanted you."

"It is not all my fault; you had been doing your best to make sure I never saw that you loved me. That is until that morning after that wonderful night. That is when I knew you loved me. I needed to know that."

"I know, Baby. I know," Rhett smiled at Scarlett with his cocky smile and said, "I guess after I'm gone you can finally marry Mr. Wilkes. That was the plan, right?"

Scarlett smiled back and said, "You know I will never remarry once you are gone and especially not to that over-educated stuff shirt."

"I'm glad to hear that. I don't want anyone else raising my Bonnie or anyone else spending my money."

"What about sleeping next to your wife?"

"I don't want that either."

"You know I will never remarry because if I did, I would lose control of your money."

"I am glad you don't plan to remarry whatever the reason."

With a mischievous smile, Scarlett said, "Did you think it was because of my great love for you?"

"No, of course not. It would be for the money. Is Mr. Wilkes still living in New York?"

"Yes, so the children and I will move to Boston. It will be nice since Wade is already living there."

"You don't want to stay here. I couldn't ever get you to move but when I am no longer living you will move away from Atlanta."

With tears in her eyes, Scarlett said, "We have spent our entire life in Atlanta. The war years, the years I was married to Frank, our awful first three years, and these last wonderful ten years. All my memories are happy memories but once you are no longer by my side, they will be bittersweet memories. It is hard enough dealing with my memories of Melanie. Those are so bittersweet and the guilt of having wished her dead on more than one occasion."

"Yet, you saved her life more than once. When you delivered her baby, when you got her out of Atlanta, when you carried her your entire time at Tara, when you didn't let her and Mr. Wilkes move to New York. Then in the end you agreed to take on the onus task of caring for Mr. Wilkes and Beau."

"You took care of them."

"I did that in order to take care of you."

Scarlett changed the subject. That subject was getting too emotional. She said, "I can't stay in Atlanta because those harridans that are the matrons would be happy to snub me the moment you are on the other side."

"If they did, I would come back and haunt them. I would still have to protect you."

"Rhett, you really are the best husband."

Rhett smiled in acknowledgement of the compliment. He said, "San Francisco was nice. I liked the weather."

Scarlett smiled at him and said, "Anywhere but New York."

Rhett started laughing and had to stop when his chest started hurting. Without being told Scarlett was already getting the laudanum ready. It wouldn't be much longer until he was finally gone from this earth. She prayed there was something on the other side.

Rhett and Scarlett had been happy for the last ten years. Not blissfully happy because they were people with strong opinions who would always want to have everything their own way. They had fought. They had started truly fighting when they got back from Europe, and they decided to redecorate the mansion. The difference was these fights were to get their own way not to inflict pain upon the other person. More times than Rhett could remember he had to bite his tongue from saying something just to be cruel and mean to the woman he loved.

Rhett and Scarlett had never conceived another child thanks to him having the surgery. He knew that at first, she had been very skeptical but as time went by and she never got with child she began to believe it was true.

Rhett was awfully glad he had made the decision to become sterile. He was glad for so many reasons. That Scarlett didn't have to go through another miscarriage or have a stillborn child. That Scarlett never found out he had given her that awful disease. That Scarlett didn't have another person depending on her. That he wasn't leaving another child father less in the world.

Yet, most of all he was grateful that so far, his Scarlett was asymptomatic. Because she was, he could make himself believe that he had not given her the disease. Yet in his heart he knew he had.

In the last year Scarlett had been managing their money with a little help from Rhett. Once she had said she wanted to do something with numbers he had insisted that she read the financial books and magazines. She had then started helping Rhett with his legitimate business dealings. He hadn't done anything illegal for almost ten years. He couldn't take the chance of dying or going to prison. He had to take care of Scarlett and his family. Scarlett knew that she would inherit all his money in trust then upon her death it would be split between their three children. He had told her, "Joseph Powe and Charles Mobbs are fine, trustworthy men but you have a fine brain therefore trust yourself most of all."