NOTES: I'd just like to say that I'm very happy whilst posting this. After almost five years of never being sent home from school, this is the second time this week that our school has suffered from an electric fault, resulting in us all going home! And it's only Wednesday!

Anyway, please enjoy this latest chapter and please do tell me if you have any inklings who Madame Vulture might be, I'd love to hear them incase the ideas are better than mine! And, please read & review.

ENJOY!

Tuesday

Madame Vulture,

Yesterday was my first full day without that wretched little music machine. The day went fine, brilliant, in fact.

So this is what I say to you:

It took all the strength I had, not to fall apart

And tried so hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
And I spent oh, so many nights just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry, but now I hold my head up high
I will survive. I WILL SURVIVE!

Sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

Minerva,

Good for you, I'm very proud of the strength you're showing. Keep it up. And remember, if you need me, I'm here.

Madame Vulture

Dear Madame Vulture,

It happened again last night. No sooner had I sent my letter off to you than I met Dean Thomas in the Owlery. One minute, he was oh-so-casually asking me the time - the next, we were rolling around on the Owlery floor in lustful ecstasy. We continued to romp amongst the straw and droppings until we were disturbed by a now very disturbed first year. We hurriedly put our clothes back on, and left without another word.

However, later, I saw Dean talking very smugly with his friends about something. I can only guess what it was. My brother and his friend were both looking some-what distracted: my brother Ron was itching uncomfortably in his clothes, whilst Harry seemed slightly on edge - he punched Lavender Brown in the face when she tapped him on the shoulder to talk to him.

I couldn't live with myself if either of them found out what happened. Should I trust Dean to stay quiet or should I risk talking to him in person, when that could full well end in more lustful shenanigans?

Please Help,

Ginny Weasley

P.S. I think that Parvati Patil is coming on to me, she won't leave me alone. What do I do?

Ginny,

If you really find that you cannot trust Dean and that you cannot talk to him yourself, another option might be to tell your brother and his friend in person. That way, you can tell them the truth without them hearing twisted details on the grapevine. You could also show them how sorry you are and how foolish you have been. You might even find them willing to help you.

And I would suggest that you don't do to Parvati what you did to Dean.

Madame Vulture

Dear Madame Vulture,

I've suddenly found myself in a purely sexual relationship with a fellow student. It's not the first relationship of this kind I've been in, because, being an openly gay student, I do get quite a few inquisitive minds.

I have been having mind blowing sex with this guy for just a few days now and it's magnificent. The sex is fantastic, almost the best I've ever had (God rest his soul, poor Cedric) but there is just one problem.

My 'partner' likes me to participate in role play, which is no problem, as I love the drama and the theatre, but I find his requests more and more worrying. At first, it was just a simple task of actingoutcatching the golden snitch. Simple enough - great sex followed. But last night, he asked me to perform the act fully robed, and when I'd looked, he had bewitched them to be the Gryffindor house colours. And when I woke this morning, I found a suspiciously familiar-looking mark on my forehead.

And now, the guy mentioned about producing a fully - fledged patronus for him.

What should I do? The sex is amazing, but the guy is obviously into some very kinky shenanigans. I don't want to lose him, but why can't we just have sex normally?

Terry Boot

Terry,

Fantasies like these are completely normal, especially at your age. This might be something that he may just grow out of, but are you sure you want to continue a relationship that is purely based on sex? It's bound to end in heartbreak, and possibly, in this case, emotional trauma. Perhaps it's time you found yourself a lovely relationship where you and your partner care about each other.

Madame Vulture

Dear Madame Vulture,

Thanks for the advise you gave me yesterday but it still hasn't helped me get the memory of what happened out of my mind. This morning at breakfast, Dean asked me if there was anything wrong and asked about my strange behaviour, but he seems momentarily occupied with something that happened between him and Ginny Weasley. The thing is, I keep thinking I'm giving out 'gay' signals. Am I being paranoid? I've tried to avoid all the major deathtraps like eating lollipops or sausages but I still find myself accidentally looking at Dean's chest or things like that.

What if someone notices? It's driving me insane, I've become a nervous wreck. Please help.

Desperately,

Seamus Finnigan

Seamus

This is still completely normal for someone of your age, no matter how you blow you it out of proportion. And remember, even if you are gay, which I doubt you are, there isn't anything wrong with that, so try to stay calm. Have you tried talking to Dean at all?

Madame Vulture

Dear 'Madame Vulture',

I just thought I should let you know that tomorrow, I intend to go to Professor Dumbledore about this whole farce. Let's face it: no one in the entire school knows just who exactly you are and yet they are writing to you with their personal problems. Who is to know that you aren't a Death Eater deducing an evil plot that involves Hogwarts' students' personal information? And so tomorrow, I intend to speak with Dumbledore, unless you are prepared to put this inquisitive mind at ease.

Hermione Granger

Hermione

I know you intend well, but if I were a Death Eater, do you not think I would have more important things to do than to go around giving out advise to the students of this school? Wouldn't serving You-Know-Who take up more of my time?

And no, I am not prepared to give out my identity to a curious student I'm afraid. But do tell me what dear Professor Dumbledore thinks.

Madame Vulture

Dear Madame Vulture,

Have you any expertise in removing radish earrings from one's hair?

Thankfully,

Luna Lovegood

Luna

Try a good a good transfiguration charm and say, turn them into a tennis ball? A tennis ball should be perfectly simple to remove. And then, simply transfigure them back.

Glad to help,

Madame Vulture