Thursday

NOTES: Sorry this latest chapter has taken so long, the finale will be here soon and the identity of Madame Vulture shall be revealed!

ENJOY!

Dear Madame Vulture,

Something very strange has been going on lately…

I've started to notice some increasingly odd behavior in my fellow students. It started when Harry punched Lavender in the face, and now he keeps sneaking off to the Room of Requirement with Draco Malfoy. When I tried to tell Ron and Hermione about this, Ron started asking me odd questions about the clothes I wore and an apparently obvious desire of mine to be more 'free', whatever he meant by that; and Hermione starting quizzing me about you and asking whether I'd sign a petition or something to have your identity 'outed'. (I only signed out of fear - she was getting rather hysterical).

And it doesn't stop there – Terry Boot's appearance is changing more and more everyday – his hair is darker, longer and messier, he's gotten noticeably taller, he has a strange mark on his forehead and he seems to be becoming Harry's twin (except for his eyes, of course, he doesn't have Lily's eyes).

I've even seen Lavender following Parvati around the hallways. And as for Ginny, I've been meaning to talk to her about an encounter we shared the other evening but I can't find her, she seems to have disapparated all together.

And then, just this morning, Professor McGonagall spent ten minutes trying to teach us to sing some incantation named 'The Heart Will Go On'.

Is it just me? Is everyone under some kind of spell? Am I paranoid or is it some extravagant practical joke being played on me?

Yours worryingly,

Neville Longbottom

Neville

It's nothing to worry about, I'm sure everyone will be back to normal in no time at all. Perhaps ask a friend if they've noticed anything unusual to put your paranoid thoughts to rest.

Madame Vulture

Dear Madame Vulture,

Thanks for all the help, turns out I'm not gay, must just have been a phase – like you said.

Thanks,

Seamus Finnigan

Seamus,

Nice to know I could help. Remember, if you need me again, I'm here.

Madame Vulture

Dear Madame Vulture,

I tried.

I did. I really did try.

I tried Scrabble, I tried Monopoly, I even tried talking to Professor Trelawney to pass the time, but I can't. I just can't carry on.

I'm sorry, but I need it back.

I really did try.

Very Desperately,

Minerva McGonagall

Minerva

Please find enclosed, as promised, one musical object. Please do not apologize to me, Minerva, you were doing this for yourself, and only yourself.

I commend your efforts and remember, I'm still always here to help.

Madame Vulture

Dear Madame Vulture,

It happened again last night, but this time was different. I was doing some homework late at night in the Common Room (I had spent all afternoon in my dormitory, not trusting myself around any of the male Gryffindors) when I was joined by Seamus Finnigan. I felt like rushing back up to my dormitory, but it became clear that rampant sex wasn't what Seamus was after. He looked hurt and confused and we ended up talking for a few hours by the fire.

He told me all about his confusion over his sexuality, the pressure he was feeling from the sixth year and his fears about the future.

He was so sweet, and I really felt for him, and, well, one thing led to another and it turns out he isn't gay. In fact, it didn't just feel like meaningless sex, it felt as though there was a real connection.

I think I've really fallen for him.

But how did I tell him? And what if he just used me to see if he was straight or not.

Please Help,

Ginny Weasley

Ginny,

If it turns out that Seamus did just use you, then maybe it'll make you think twice about your actions. If you really want to forge a relationship with the boy then you'll need to change your ways – you'll need to confess to the flings with Dean and the others so they'll be no surprises and you'll have to be kind and considerate of Seamus' feelings.

I suggest you talk to Seamus as soon as possible, alone and ask him how he feels about the situation. Don't leave it too late, or he may find someone else.

It's very probable that he's thinking along the same lines as you.

Madame Vulture

Dear Madame Vulture,

Parvati is on to me. She knows that I know.

Today, she sat with me at lunch, she asked caring questions about my black eye AND she even suggested we look around the new Divination shop in Hogsmeade this weekend. In other words, she's been a kind friend. Does her evil know no bounds!

Of course, I played along with this act for today, there's no need to let her know that I know that she knows just yet. That's right, two can play at this game: if she wants to play nice, we'll play nice. I'll be the most caring, appreciative and loveliest friend she's ever had. That'll confuse her.

Lavender Brown isn't going out without a fight, Parvati!

Your Biggest Fan,

Lavender Brown

Lavender,

Well, I'm glad to hear you're taking the, err, high road. Being friends isn't easy but its how we deal with these problems that come between us that show how close we really are.

Why not give Parvati another chance? I think it would be for the best.

Madame Vulture