The front door bell rung as Rick and Neil regained consciousness.

"Neil answer the door." Rick demanded.

"Oh yeah right, like always Rick. I might as well be your slave."

"JUST ANSWER THE DOOR!" Vyvyan yelled.

"Ok, ok. Don't get uncool and heavy man." Neil said as he answered the door.

Neil was taken back as a beautiful blonde woman stood at the door. She stared at Neil until he spoke.

"Uh, I think you are at the wrong house."

"No I don't think so." The woman spoke as Neil realized she had an accent.

"Oh are you American?" he asked.

"Yes. I am. I'm an American exchange student, I'm going to be studying at Scumbag College."

"Oh wow."

"So, is Mike here?" The woman asked trying to peep inside.

"Uh no. He has, like, gone out to pick up his guest from the airport." Neil replied.

"Oh no." The woman said with her hand on her forehead, "I'm the guest. I tried calling him this morning to tell him I was going to be earlier than expected and that I could call a cab to drop me off here but some stupid hippy like yourself hung up on me."

"Oh, uh, that was me."

"I thought so. Well aren't you going to let me in? Or do I have to wait until Mike comes back?"

"Oh yeah, right." Neil said as he let the woman walk inside the less than tidy share house.

The woman walked in disgusted as Rick and Vyvyan looked shocked to see that there was a woman in their house.

"Oh hi. You must be Mike's other house mates." The woman said attempting to shake Rick and Vyvyan's hands, as they were both motionless. "Do you know when Mike will be back?"

"Uh, who are you?" Rick asked.

"Oh Mike never told you I was coming?" The woman asked.

"No, he didn't! In fact Mike hasn't told us…"

"Shut up ya nerdy!" Vyvyan yelled as he started to stare at the woman's breasts.

"Oh ha ha Vyvyan. What repartee. Do you think being rude to me in front of one of Mike's lady friends is going to accomplish anything?"

Vyvyan thought for a moment. "…Yes!"

Vyvyan continued to stare at the ladies ample chest while Rick gave him a deadly look.

"You know Vyvyan, your just jealous that Mike considers me his close friend while you are just someone he talks to."

Vyvyan was about to reply while Mike walked through the door looking very confused until he saw the woman.

"Mike!" The women said as a smile came to her face.

"Ah, Jess. How are you? And how did you get here?" he asked her as he grabbed a chair for her to sit on.

"Oh I'm fine. I tried to call you to tell you my plane was earlier than anticipated but your hippy friend hung up on me."

"Neil! What have I told you about that?"Mike asked as he gave a quick shot at Neil.

"Uh sorry Mike."

"Sorry about that Jess. All that matters is that you're here now. I think I should introduce you to everybody." Mike said as he pointed at the boys individually.

"That's Neil, that's Rick and that's Vyvyan. Guys this is my cousin, Jess."

"What?" Vyvyan asked. "I thought you were getting laid tonight Mike."

"Who said I'm not Vyv?" Mike replied.

"What? By your cousin?"

"No." Mike said disgusted as Jess hit Mike, "What was that for?"

"If only your Mother could see this place!" Jess scolded as she examined the house. "She would be revolted! This is a dump."

"Now, now Jess. Don't hurt Neil's feelings. He does the cleaning around here." Mike said trying to get the heat of himself. "I'll show you to your room."

"Ah Michael?" Rick said, "I haven't actually got around to cleaning out my bedroom…"

"I'm sleeping on the couch." Jess quickly said as Rick smirked. "I'd rather sleep on a dirty couch than some spotty kids dirty bed!"

"Ok." Mike said, "But I have to tell you a few house guidelines. Number 1: Bath night is Tuesdays. Number 2: If it is cold and we want a fire, we all have to contribute personal possessions to burn…"

"Ok, I have heard enough!" Jess said as she cut him off. "Things are going to start changing around here. Big time."

Neil, Vyvyan and Rick were surprised. They had never seen anyone stand up to Mike like this before.