RICK stood facing the screen with a sign that read, "I'm Sorry," painted in large red letters.

"Well you see dear people." He began, "It's not that I don't enjoy writing my story, or that I'm irresponsible, it's just that I have been too busy in the past few months to continue. But since it is summer… that may or may not change!" RICK coughed for a brief moment before pulling out a large book.

"While I continued my studies and work at school, I soon found that every B day in third period I would be watched by these old men, and had to turn in all of my writings to them. At first I thought I was going to get molested, but that was not the case. My English teacher told me that I had the skill to publish a story at my age and told all my folks that I was an 'Extremely Gifted and Talented Author'…"

Erk walked by, laughing uneasily, "For some reason I find that really hard to believe," before disappearing into the next hallway.

RICK continued, "Now, over the summer, other than getting a summer job, I have to write a MEDIEVAL FANTASY ROMANCE NOVEL! Which is REALLY weird for me! I'm not aloud to write a simple humor-random-action-story!" RICK gasped and fell over from the level, in which he was yelling.

"Since my mother is an editor, if you see a large Medieval Fantasy Romance novel, with an author named, 'RICK, the amazing tactician with the Amazing capitalized name' or something like that. (Hmm… maybe I'll go by an odd name like, 'Donald' or 'Chuck') BUY IT! Cause, then I'll get more money so I can go to another Avenged Sevenfold concert and swim in the depths of the Mosh pits once again… Ehem, I mean, buy my mother a lovely birthday present.

Now, back to the action!"

----

Many strange objects, strange people, and other strange liquids, ect, gathered around a small bulldog.

The bulldog or RICK paced around on its paws, counting the people in the crowd, the objects, and strange liquids. "Hmm… we're missing a few." The dog said with a look of actual seriousness on his face. He then turned around to look at the Ninian fire hydrate with a look of severe temptation on his face.

A now, bearded, Neimi exclaimed, "Whoa, Tactician RICK can count!"

The bulldog slashed Neimi across the face, enraging the army of Colm fleas to launch themselves onto RICK's buttocks.

RICK howled, "That makes the… temptation… must resist… NINIAN!" the bulldog dashed towards the Ninian fire hydrate with Colm fleas nipping at him.

The poor Ninian screamed and tried her best to hop away. RICK had only a few seconds to say, "Until this weird gun wears off, just go on with your regular jobs—"before Ninian sprayed him with a large amount of water from her hydrate and knocked him out.

The rest of the army or at least the ones normal enough to perform basic life functions stared angrily.

However, the Erk banana was the first to protest, "Some of us can't even move, much less do those insanely difficult jobs." He stopped to look at the puddle of Oswin, which was screaming at the moment, and Erk continued, "Some of us are even evaporating by the second!"

Everyone turned their attention to the puddle of Oswin, who muttered, "Yep, Yup, yup, it's happening right now, there goes my leg, there I go…"

There was silent muttering around the rest of the army for a moment. Then there was complete silence, what could they do? What if the effects never wore off? The silence, however, was soon interrupted by the Oswin who screamed at Guy, "You just inhaled my leg you bastard!"

Guy stared at Oswin like he was confused, but without a second thought, he walked out of the room.

The Erk banana scowled, "C'mon people let's get a move on! Us fruits, and other inanimate objects will just stay here, the others, go on with your jobs."

Louise bent over to be face to face with the toddlers Mathew, Rath, The Lucius diaper, and Sain

"Okay little ones; it's time to go to preschool!"

Nothing could be said that would reflect the look of pure terror on each of their faces.

Mathew was the first to speak up, "How the hell did you get another job as a teacher anyway? Last time all your kids died!"

Louise frowned, "Bad Mathew! Little toddlers shouldn't cuss! I'm going to have to give you a good spanking. And besides, Nils survived, so all my kids in that class didn't die!" Louise began twitching uneasily.

Mathew backed away quickly before muttering, "Well you could call Nils an innocent child as easily as you could a hobgoblin. And don't you touch me!"

Louise's eyes darkened in maternal fury, "I've heard just about enough of you little boy." She picked up Mathew even through his crazed struggling and smacked his bottom a few times.

Complete madness spread through the other toddlers. Sain crawled under a table and Rath ran around in a circle over and over while screaming.

Mathew yelled, "I don't want to hurt you but," Mathew pulled out his dagger and stabbed her in her hand. To his dismay however, all his weapons had been replaced with harmless plastic ones. "Die die die!"

Louise held Mathew under one arm as he continued to stab her with the plastic. However, while Louise wasn't looking Mathew grabbed the now sleeping banana Erk and tried stabbing her with Erk's head as well. Sadly, nothing could release the grip of this crazy sniper.

As Mathew continued struggling, Louise tried but failed to pull Sain from under the table and even though Rath ran around in the same 2x2 foot circle, Louise found that she couldn't catch him either.

Louise grinned evilly, "Oh, Lady Lyndis!" she called out.

Sain and Rath gasped and exclaimed simultaneously, "My one and only weakness!"

Lyn walked to Louise she motioned for her to get Sain and Rath. Without putting up much of a fight, Sain and Rath let Lyn pick them up and begin walking to the preschool.

Louise laughed, "I'm sorry milady, it's their first day of preschool and they're a little nervous. Would you mind coming in with me as a student helper?"

Lyn smiled, "Not at all."

Erk mumbled, "What… where am I, and why does my head hurt so bad?"

Rath cried out, "I've never been to preschool…"

Mathew scoffed, "Well, of course! It wasn't even invented in our time! Now put me down you damn woman!" Mathew stopped as he spotted the beautiful wedding ring on Louise's ring finger "Wait… Kleptomaniac senses…are tingling!"

Rath squirmed and sighed, "Please, Lady Lyndis, let me go!"

Sain grinned, "I like this…" he coughed to make his voice more high pitched.
"Lady Lyndis, I'm scared, hug me tighter!"

-------

Lyn and Louise set Mathew, Rath, Sain, The Lucius diaper, and the Erk banana down in a play pen next to a small black haired preschooler who was finger painting with a dark red color, and another black haired girl who was playing with play dough.

Sain though it would be bold to introduce himself to the lad. "Hii" he said cheerfully, "I'm Sain, the amazing knight. And these are my servants, Mathew, Rath, and Banana-Laddie. What's your name, good sir?"

The banana squirmed in Mathew's hands yelling, "My name is not Banana-Laddie!"

The black haired kid turned his head in a full 180 degree rotation to stare right at Sain. "My name is Damien." The kid answered simply.

Sain's eyes widened and he tried to hide the fact that the head rotation had almost made him wet his pants, "And what about you, my lovely lady?" he asked the girl next to Damien.

The girl turned to face Sain as well, and Sain found that he could hardly see her face, as her long black frizzy hair was covering the view of it. "My name… is Samara."

Sain focused his attention on her, "Why don't you move your hair, so I can see your pretty little face?" Sain asked pretending to pout.

Samara seemed to have snapped, "But I like killing people. I don't ever want to stop! I want to keep hurting people! Where's my mommy?"

Sain crawled back over to where Rath, The Lucius diaper, Mathew, and Erk now sat. "It's always the same answer."

Damien hugged Samara protectively, "You hurt my sister's feelings you meanie!" he yelled at Sain. "Now I'm going to have to kill you and all of your friends!"

Sain looked unaffected. Mathew asked Sain, "Do you always get THAT reaction as well?"

Sain nodded, "If the lady has a brother, of course it's the same reaction! You should have seen it when I tried to hit on Lady Priscilla! Raven saw and ya' know what? I still can't pee."

The Erk banana looked the most disturbed, "That's just great to know."

-----

(Around Ten Horrid and Scary Minutes Later.)

Mathew, Sain, and The Erk banana were hiding behind Rath. Damien crawled closer.

"Get him away from me!" Mathew screamed trying to crawl through the play pen.

Damien cocked his head to the side, a few cracking noises were heard as he did so, and he stopped turning his head, only after making a ninety degree turn. Damien took his toy airplane and turned it on, then took out a Ken doll dressed exactly like Sain, and then began sawing the dolls head off using the propellers.

Sain bit his nails anxiously, "No amount of therapy will ever make this moment okay."

Erk, Rath, Mathew, and The diaper Lucius all said at the same time, "Aye, aye."

Damien crawled towards them, with every step the small group seemed to squeeze closer together.

"I'm going to kill all of your friends Sain. Then I'm going to save you for last and kill you especially hard."

The group shoved Sain out yelling at him to apologize. "Look, Damien, I'm sorry okay! I didn't think it would hurt Samara's feelings! I just said that I wanted to see her pretty face!"

Damien put the doll down. "Whatever, I'm just killing you for her. She's angry, I really don't care that much."

Sain asked nervously, "Why doesn't she just hurt me herself?' he dared to ask.

Damien narrowed his eyes, "She would, but in seven days."

Sain continued, "Why?"

Damien really looked annoyed, "I don't know! It's the whole stupid plot thing, yeah yeah, flee flee, you'd only last seven days in a well, oh please! I'll just kill people, what's the point of waiting seven days?"

Sain used this as his chance to check to see if his suspicions were true. Sain jumped at Damien, and looked threw his hair on the back on his head, until he saw what he was looking for. "My god! It's here! The three sixes are on the back of his head!"

The others were dumbfounded at the discovery. Damien quickly took Sain's wrist and pinned it behind his back, tackling him to the ground. Sain screamed, "Help me! He's EVVIILL!"

The Erk banana was the first to speak up. The Erk waddled over to the Lucius diaper, "Wait! Lucius, you're a monk! And suggestions?"

The Lucius diaper looked deep in thought, even though he was a diaper and was currently on Rath. "Well I think we may all be saved if we throw holy water at him!"

The Erk banana pointed at a bottle full of milk. "Well the only liquid we have is that bottle of milk."

Lucius looked as though he was seriously thinking about it, "Did it come from a holy cow?"

Erk replied with a confused look, "Umm… No?"

Lucius narrowed his eyes, "Then we can always just squeeze you into banana juice! What where you thinking!"

Erk raised an eyebrow but turned the other way and muttered to Mathew, "I wonder what the hell is shoved up his ass."

Suddenly Lady Lyndis and Louise approached and they all thought that they were going to be saved. Sain got up almost instantly and threw Damien off his back, then headed for the Erk banana.

"Yes, Lady Lyndis approaches! We're saved!" Sain grabbed Erk suddenly and abruptly.

"Sain.. What are you doing?" he asked.

"A genius idea has just struck my mind!" Sain cheered. "And I'm protecting little banana ladies like you, from Damien." He jammed the poor Erk into the front of his diaper.

Erk screamed, "Nuuuuu!" all dramatically, "Seriously! Put me down you idiot! Not there! Not there!"

Lyn approached about to pick up Sain. "Hey Sain, I thought it would be like, cool, if I read you a stor-." She stopped.

Sain gave a cheeky grin, "Why you'd stop talking?"

"Stor-"

"Why are you giving me that zombie-like stare?"

"Stor-"

"Do I have something on my shirt? Do I have broccoli on my shirt?"

"Stor-"

"I don't think I have broccoli on my shirt. I think you're starring at my package. Yep it's mine. Ignore the movement and muffled yells coming from it. It's alive…"

Sain grinned and raised his eyebrows, up and down, waiting for Lyn's reply.

Lyn fainted.

Meanwhile Louise was about to pick up Mathew, when Damien crawled over by her. "Aww… aren't you just a precious little boy." Louise said happily.

"Aww… aren't you just a precious little boy." Damien repeated with no sarcasm.

Louise dropped Mathew on his head and put her hands on her hips, "Stop mocking me!"

Damien looked completely innocent, "Who said I was mocking you? I'm serious. You're ugly enough to be a little weird boy. How old are you anyway?"

Louise was outraged, "I'm twenty three!"

Damien nodded, "Yep, that's what I thought. Only two years younger than my grandmother."

Louise ran away crying.

Lyn woke up feeling really out of it. "What happened? Hey, why is Louise crying?"

Louise yelled over, while hiding in a corner, "It was that black haired boy! He called me old!"

Damien instantly smashed his head on his finger-painting, so his hair was now a natural looking red. Well at least, decent enough to fool Lyn.

"Rath!" Lyn exclaimed sharply, "How could you! That's it! Spankings for you boy!"

Rath squirmed and yelled as Lyn picked him up, "But my hair isn't black! It's green!"

Lyn shook her head, "Well since this is a fan based story and the fans are still fighting over which it is your hair is black."

Sain cursed, "Wait! Lady Lyndis! My hair is black! I did it! Spank me!" Sain glared at Damien, "Curse you! Curse you!"

Damien smirked.

Lyn placed the now screaming Rath on her lap and spanked him a few times. Well basically, the worst possible thing to happen at that exact moment happened.

POOF!

Lucius popped off of Rath, no longer a diaper, and onto the floor. Lucius cheered and exclaimed, "Fresh air!" and began kissing the ground.

Lyn paused spanking at the feeling of much more weight, and bare skin. Lyn twitched to see a full grown, now diaper less, Rath in front of her.

Rath said his usual, "…" at a serious loss for words.

Lyn turned a bright red and looked away as Rath removed himself from her lap and ran off looking for some pants.

Sain shrugged at the return of his normal self. Erk poofed back to his self, though still trapped in Sain's diaper, screaming and making all kinds of scratching noises, then finally one of the sound of Erk suffocating.

End of Chapter 6

The still RICK dog chuckled happily, "You see Erk, and how the male instinct will do anything for the woman he loves! It's quite marvelous!"

Erk scoffed, "Since when have you been an expert at romance? I still have no idea how you'll write that medieval fantasy romance."

RICK sharpened his claws, "Since never, I have no idea, and hey, how come only you guys transformed back to normal?"

Erk smiled, "Your guess is as good as mine, wait, on second thought… Beats me. But some other people have transformed back as well. So what's going to happen in the next chapter?"

RICK grinned back, "Well, Erk, I can't talk about it since I think some people are trying to kill me. And at this exact moment I have the hiccups."

Erk looked away and put a hand to his forehead, "God you're stupid."