The next morning Martha was on her way to the diner when she spotted Tasha on the beach. She quickly ran down to her best friend.
"Tash," she said coming up behind her. "I was just at Irene's looking for you." There was an awkward pause as Martha wondered what to say next. "How are you?" she finally managed.
"Oh, you know…" Tash said and looked down at her hands where she was picking the skin of one thumb. "Mac…I told Robbie and Irene yesterday I want an abortion." Martha was momentarily taken aback.
"That's a big decision Tash, are you sure you're ready to make it?"
Tasha nodded. "I just know, with every bone in my body, I cannot bring something into the world…made in that way you know? I, I just couldn't."
"Hey that's ok. If that is the way you feel and you know in your heart that's what you want then that's fine. How's Robbie with it?"
"He's supporting whatever I want, but he's just so angry you know. It's just like it's hitting him now and all he wants to do is make Jonah pay."
"He loves you so much Tash, he will always be there for you. And so will I. Do you know when you want to do it?"
"I've booked in for today, two p.m."
"Already?"
"I just have to get it over with, get…get this thing out of my body." Tasha started clenching her fists and then rubbed them down her thighs, darting her eyes quickly around the beach.
"You, you don't think I'm a murderer do you Mac?"
"No, of course not!" Martha cried. "Only you can know how you feel about this situation, it's your body, and it is yours, and only your, decision to make. No one else has any right to judge you, and I would never dream of it."
Tasha smiled. "Thanks Mac. Because you know, it doesn't feel like a child in me, it just feels like a disease; this thing that's eating at me, I just have to get it out." Tasha kept on clenching and unclenching her fists and digging her nails into her hands. Martha looked on concerned.
"Hey, hey, it's ok. Do you want me to come with you? For support?"
"Thanks Mac, but Robbie's coming and I think it's something he and I need to do alone."
"Ok, but you know I'm here for you anytime, one hundred percent." Martha smiled at Tasha and gave her a big hug.
"Tash, Tash, can you hear me? It's me, Robbie." Tasha opened her eyes and slowly focused them to take in the hospital room and Robbie's concerned face staring down at her.
"Is it over Rob? Is it gone?"
Robbie nodded. "It's all over Tash, it's all over." He sat down on the bed and wrapped Tasha up in his arms. "You're going to be ok, I promise," he whispered into her hair and then kissed her blonde locks before resting his head on hers.
Tasha breathed in Robbie's familiar scent and felt safe for the first time since their fateful wedding day. She also felt enormous, overwhelming relief, but at the same time an incredible emptiness. How can she move on? How can she forget? What they did, what she did? She had no answers and no reassurance, only questions and uncertainty.