Author's Note: Over the river and through the woods, to Dallas, Texas, we go…

To Allie: I love that song (I'm listening to it as I write this), and I couldn't resist putting it in. I seriously considered putting those two chapters together, just so I could call it "The Scour". I'm glad I made the right choice. Thanks for reviewing.

To MollyMKS (Review for Chapter Thirty-Two): I love it when Nick is cute. Nothing like flirting over a D.B. Well, except there's no D.B. Whatever. I love fluff. I'm glad you do too. Thanks for the review!

To MollyMKS (Review for Chapter Thirty-Three): We definitely need more Nick Stokes in this world. He's so cute! I love that song. Thanks for reviewing!

To Your Spell-Binding Lover (Review for Chapter Thirty-Two): Oh yes. He is sexy. And research isn't hard. I'll give you a hint: GOOGLE! Thanks for reviewing.

To Your Spell-Binding Lover (Review for Chapter Thirty-Three): The song is by Big and Rich. Chances are I'll be singing it at school for the next three weeks, so be prepared for that, okay? That and Bohemian Rhapsody, as usual. Thanks for reviewing!

To CSI-wanna-be23: I'm not telling the combo as of yet, but believe me, This One's For The Girls is an absolutely wonderful song, and it'll definitely make an appearance. I was planning on using it anyway. I haven't heard Blessed, I'll listen to it and decide about that. Thanks for the suggestion. Save a Horse is SUCH a hard song to get out of your head. In the past, I've found that the only effective cure for getting a song out of your head is to listen to it, but it doesn't work for this one! Thanks for reviewing!

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: It's not mine. Believe me, if it was, I'd be writing real episodes and not FanFiction.

Nick and Sara landed in Dallas during the middle of a record-setting heat wave. The dry heat that hit Sara when they disembarked made her want to vomit, and she very nearly did.

Michele picked them up in her Mustang, wearing a light green spaghetti strap tank top and a short pair of khaki shorts, topped off with a black Stetson.

Sara hugged her. "Hi, Michele. Good to see you again." Pulling back, she noticed the outfit. "Wow. You did not have five kids."

Michele laughed. "I did. How are you?"

Sara and Nick had decided to tell only the people they'd originally decided to tell, Michele, Jillian, and Bill. "Pregnant," she answered.

Michele covered her mouth and squealed. "Congratulations! When are you due?"

"Well, we're not really sure."

"Haven't you been to a doctor?" she asked.

"Oh, we've been to a doctor," Sara said, a knowing look in her eye. "It's just that births of this nature tend to be premature."

Michele's jaw dropped. "Twins?"

Sara shook her head, smiling.

"Triplets?" she squealed.

Sara nodded proudly. Nick placed one hand on her stomach and kissed her right in front of her ear.

"I'm gonna be a daddy," he said proudly.

"Well, congratulations times three!"

"Thanks," said Sara, grinning. "But mum's the word, okay?"

"No problem."

Sara felt a familiar churning in her stomach. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go puke," she said as she turned to go to the washroom.

Nick looked after her worriedly. He didn't like that she was throwing up so much.

Michele put on hand on his arm and said, "Don't worry, she'll be okay. It just so happens that pregnancy is survivable."

Nick laughed slightly. "I'll try to remember that, thanks," he said wryly.

"I have my own news when she comes back," Michele said secretively.

Nick raised an eyebrow curiously, but shrugged it off until Sara came back. "Michele says she has some news for us."

Sara looked at her expectantly, but Michele said, "Actually, I think I'll tell the whole family together."

"Awww, come on, Michele. Don't torture us like that," Nick whined.

"What are you going to do about it?" she jokingly challenged.

Remembering something that had happened last time they came, Sara decided to see if they could use it against her. Turning to Nick, she said, "Why don't you share with us why you call her Blondie?"

The colour drained from her face as she said to Nick, "You wouldn't!"

Just to prove that he would, he turned to Sara and said, "In high school, Michele decided that –"

Michele interrupted him, but instead of telling them her news, she said, "You know, I could tell her why we call you Poncho."

Sara piped up, "Or you could tell me both."

Michele shook her head, smiling. "We'll tell you in the car, but I'm still not telling you my news yet," she said. "Nick, take the bags."

Riding in the Mustang with the top down, Sara and Nick sat in the back while Michele drove.

"So, why are you called Blondie, Michele?" Sara asked.

Nick answered. "In high school, she decided that she wanted to dye her hair blonde. She'd never dyed it before, and Mom didn't want any of her girls to ever dye their hair. But none of us ever listened to Mom. So, one day, Michele went to the store and got a box of blonde dye." Sara could see where this was going. Hair dye accidents. Priceless. He continued. "Anyway, she asked for my help getting it into her hair, and I agreed. On a few conditions, of course." Sara laughed. "The problem was, she has the thickest hair I've ever seen, and it was really long at the time too. We ran out of dye halfway through, so she made me go back to the store to get more. I did, but I got the wrong kind. So I came back and just started putting it back in her hair. I didn't notice that it was different. You can't leave hair half-done anyway, and when you put the wrong kind in, well, that just makes it all wrong. Plus, her red hair came through anyway. It was awful. Of course, Mom found out. She must have radar or something. She doesn't miss a thing."

"Except the things you know about each other," Sara added. "Like all those dates you were spilling last time."

"Thank goodness for small mercies," Michele said. "Even though I'm in my forties, she'd still ground me if she found out about those things. I don't put it past her for a second."

"And now, Michele, you tell me why he's called Poncho," Sara said, satisfied with the "Blondie" answer.

Nick knew it was coming, but he still groaned.

"Come on, Poncho, you told my story, now I get to tell yours," she said.

"Fine," he pouted.

"When he was three, he somehow managed to get all of his clothes dirty. And I mean filthy. Covered in mud. On his underwear, everything. He'd been playing in the mud pit we have out in the back, and whenever he came in, Mom would just change his clothes and tell him not to go back in."

"In my own defense, I was three. Three-year-olds don't listen," Nick tried to explain.

"Yeah, whatever. Anyway, he managed to go out so many times that he got all his clothes dirty, including Ethan's hand-me-downs. So, we put the only thing we had left on him: a girl's poncho. Very girly. It was pink with little embroidered flowers along the edges. Well, he didn't get that dirty, but he had nothing else on underneath it. He ran around the house for a few hours in it."

"Are there pictures?" Sara asked hopefully.

"Are you kidding me? There are more pictures of Nick in that poncho than there were at your wedding!"

"Do we know the location of these pictures?" Sara asked, raising an eyebrow.

"He doesn't, because he'd just destroy them, but I most certainly do."

"You have to show them to me."

"Believe me, I will."

Nick leaned over and whispered something to Sara. Michele looked at them in the rearview mirror and narrowed her gaze. "What did you say?"

"Oh, just that there are pictures of you too, Blondie."

Once at the ranch, Nick went upstairs to take a shower. Sara and Michele plopped down on the couch. "Michele, do you have any grapefruit?"

Michele grinned. "Craving?"

Sara nodded.

"Sure. Just a sec."

She came back with a grapefruit and spoon in one hand and a can of oysters and a can opener in the other.

"Thanks." Noticing the can, she asked, "What's with the oysters?"

Leaning forward and whispering conspiratorially, Michele said, "You won't tell anyone?" Sara shook her head. "I'm pregnant too."

Sara grinned. "Congratulations!" she squealed.

"Shh, not so loud."

"Oh, sorry. How far are you?"

"Six weeks," she replied.

"I'm nine," Sara said.

Michele leaned her head back on the couch. "Do your feet hurt? My feet are killing me," Michele said, kind of out of nowhere.

"Not right now, but sometimes they really hurt. Do you want a foot rub?"

Michele lifted her head up. "Would you?"

"Sure," she said, putting the grapefruit down and taking Michele's foot.

Nick came down the stairs in a towel, thinking that Michele would have gone home by now. Nobody else was there. It was the Stokes kids' habit just to let themselves into their old house whenever they felt like it, even if Bill and Jillian weren't there.

Sara could see Nick, but he was behind Michele's back. Sara looked up at Nick, and seeing the towel, said, "Wow. You're hot. I should date you."

Nick laughed. "I think we've gotten past that step." Noticing Michele, he said, "Oh, Michele, I didn't know you were still here. What's with the oysters?"

"It's that time of month and I just really want oysters," she lied, knowing it would embarrass him somewhat.

"I thought celery was your thing," he said. "Or is that Silo?"

"No, celery is mine. Silo is…" she thought for a minute, "…hard-boiled eggs, I think. Maybe that's Stephanie. I don't know. It doesn't matter. I want oysters right now, so that's what I'm having."

"Well, good luck with that."

Michele looked at Sara and shrugged as if to say, What does that even mean?

"Whatever," Nick said, going back up to get dressed, although Sara would have much preferred he stay in the towel.

"Guys," Michele said, rolling her eyes. "They're so oblivious."

"I heard that!" Nick yelled.

Sara laughed. Michele looked at her can of oysters in thought.

"What's the matter?" Sara asked.

"Nothing. I was just wondering if we have any vinegar," Michele said, going to the kitchen to check.

Author's Note: Okay, there you have it. Chapter Thirty-Four. There will probably be one or two more Texas chapters, but I don't know for sure yet. See that little purple button? It's pretty, isn't it? Maybe you should go click it and see what happens…