Woo it didn't over two months to update! This chapter is shorter than normal (sorry!). The flow didn't feel right with what happens next, so I split it into a new chapter. The good news is a decent chunk of the next chapter is already finished. So (fingers crossed) I should be able to finish the next chapter before the end of May. Thank you so much to those who have reviewed, followed, and/or added this story to your favorites. Seriously, THANK YOU! If you are too anxious to leave a review (100% me) feel free to PM me. Stay safe with all the craziness happening in world right now!
Note: I do not own Skyrim or its characters. I have only thought up my own OCs for this story. This is rated M for a reason and will have mature themes. I will try to remember to put a warning before every chapter but if one is missing or you think something should be added please let me know. Also, here is a small guide to help with my writing style.
Italicized with no quotes is the character's thoughts
"No italics with quotes," is the characters speaking the common tongue.
"Italicized with quotes," is the character speaking another language, most likely falmer.
Hope that helps.
WARNINGS: none?
Ysrae runs her hand through her long hair, trying to process what Scouts-Many-Marshes and Mol told her. Throughout the day, she was able to remember what happened right up until she passed out from exhaustion. Her barrier fell soon after. Ysrae can vaguely remember being woken up, but that's it. She has no idea how the specters came to be. If she had somehow summoned them or if Auri-El sent them to her.
"You alright?" Mol asks in a low, gentle voice.
Ysrae nods. "I just," she runs her hand through her hair again, "I need some air." She shoves off from the table, unintentionally causing the dishware to clatter. She slips out the door into the night.
The cool night air feels wonderful on her hot skin. She takes a deep breath and steps away from the lumber mill's worker house. The owner of the mill, Gilfre, let Ysrae and her two companions help work the mill in exchange for staying in the worker house for the night. Although, Ysrae didn't feel very helpful. She had helped Gilfre load the logs onto the saw while the men had chopped wood. Gilfre had chatted happily with Ysrae; she talked about her former workers leaving to fight in the civil war, how she wanted to start a family, and any other news she heard from travelers on the road. Ysrae is not sure if the woman missed having someone to talk to or if she noticed how skinny Ysrae is and was being kind.
Ysrae walks to the saw mill. She closes her eyes and listens to the river rushing by. How? How was I saved by my ancestors? At least, she assumes the two Mol interacted with were her ancestors. Ysrae opens her eyes and rolls up the sleeves of the shirt she's wearing. She examines her left wrist, running her finger along the angry scar there. She could erase it, but it feels wrong somehow. She will at least wait until she can remember or figure out what happened. Ysrae sighs, clutching her wrist in her hand. If I could just remember…
"Bit late to be out, isn't it?"
Ysrae jumps and turns toward the soft feminine voice. Gilfre is standing near her, hugging herself as if she is cold.
Gilfre chuckles, "Sorry I didn't mean to scare you. I thought you would hear me coming."
Ysrae gives her a small smile, her face hot from embarrassment. "It is ok. I was deep in thought."
"Hmm." Gilfre stands next to Ysrae, rubbing her arms, "It's chilly tonight, I don't know how you can stand it."
"I do not mind the cold. I grew up somewhere where snow is around for most of the year." Ysrae lifts her gaze to the stars, finding the constellation that leads to home.
Ysrae can feel Gilfre staring at her. After what feels like forever, Gilfre breaks the silence.
"You aren't a light skinned High Elf, are you?"
Ysrae looks at Gilfre and swallows a lump in her throat. This woman has been nothing but kind. She doesn't want to lie to her.
Gilfre sighs, "Never mind, you don't have to answer that." She stares at the ground, "I don't want to pry and I'm not going to ask. But I can tell something awful happened to you."
More like a few 'awful' things. Ysrae unconsciously nods.
Gilfre gives Ysrae a sad smile. "I know it won't be permanent, but you and your friends are welcome to stay and help me work the mill. I will pay you what I paid my last workers."
Ysrae picks at her nails, unsure what to say.
"You don't have to answer now. Just think about it."
"Thank you," Ysrae whispers.
Gilfre nods. "Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to hit the hay."
Ysrae stares at Gilfre's retreating back. Hit the hay? Ysrae chuckles and shakes her head. Guess I better learn more about the common tongue.
Ysrae watches the stars through the cloudy sky. After a while, a few drops of rain fall on her face. She sighs but doesn't move. She closes her eyes and lets her mind go blank, concentrating on the sound of rainfall. The drizzle soon becomes a down pour. She lets out a deep breath and walks to the worker house. By the time she's inside, Ysrae is soaked.
Scouts and Mol are already in bed. The only light in the house is the low fire crackling in the hearth. Ysrae takes off her shirt and pants, draping them on the back of a chair. She takes a seat on the floor near the fire and wrings her hair out. It leaves a small puddle on the floor. She slowly runs her hands through her hair, disentangling it.
Once her hair is somewhat dry, Ysrae stands and walks to the empty third bed. She stares at it. She sighs and hugs herself. She really doesn't want to be alone.
"Ysrae?" Scouts' rough voice whispers behind her.
Ysrae turns. Scouts is on his side, partly sitting up. There is sleepy concern on his dark face. They stare at each other in silence. Scouts-Many-Marshes glances at Mol, who hasn't stirred. Scouts seems to ponder a moment. He shifts farther back on the bed and lifts the blanket; a silent invitation. Ysrae gladly accepts.
She quietly pads to him and slides into the bed, facing him. She softly whispers, "Thank you."
A low hum rumbles from his throat.
Ysrae smiles. He must be tired. She snuggles into his chest. His arms wrap around her. They fall into a peaceful sleep.
….
Ysrae feels a hand gently running through her hair. She involuntarily shivers and hums in pleasure. She hears a soft chuckle. She opens her bleary eyes to Scouts' content face.
"Sorry," he barely whispers. "Your hair looked soft and I couldn't resist the urge to touch it."
"'S alright," she mumbles. "Feels nice."
He keeps running his fingers through her hair while Ysrae blinks up at him and slowly wakes up. She slowly raises her arm and strokes his feathers. Ysrae feels him shiver.
It's her turn to chuckle, "I wondered if that would be similar to fingers through hair." She keeps her voice low so she doesn't disturb Mol.
"It's starting to get light out. Should we get up?"
Ysrae shakes her head, "Let's stay like this a little longer."
They lie in silence, both enjoying the comfort of the other. Ysrae wraps her arm around him. She really doesn't want to get up. After some time, Ysrae sighs and they disentangle themselves. She silently walks to her hanging clothes and gets dressed. She can hear Scouts doing the same behind her. When she turns back, he is wearing simple clothes.
Ysrae walks to a barrel next to the bench and peers inside. There are still some apples at the bottom. They look like they are still good. Ysrae reaches into the barrel and pulls two out. She carefully examines them. Satisfied, she takes a bite of one and tosses the other to Scouts. He catches it and nods his thanks.
Ysrae sits at the small table near the fireplace. Scouts sits next to her. They eat their breakfast in silence; Ysrae enjoying the sweet fruit and Scouts seemingly to be thinking hard. Ysrae finishes and stretches. She sighs in content and leans back in her seat.
Her mind wanders to Gilfre's offer. Should I stay here awhile? She debates with herself. On one hand, she needs to get her strength back. On the other hand, she wants to try to find her clanmates. But the odds of finding anyone is slim to none. Ysrae is pulled from her thoughts by Scouts clearing his throat.
"Can we talk?"
Ysrae nods, "What is on your mind?"
"About last night…" Scouts trails off.
Ysrae stares at him, confused.
He clears his throat again, "I just want to make something clear." He lets out a deep breath, "I like you and enjoy your company. But I'm not looking to settle down with anyone right now."
"Uhhh..." Ysrae doesn't know what to say. She fidgets with the sleeve of her shirt, uncomfortable. "I, uh," she swallows hard. "I am not looking to settle down either."
Scouts looks relieved and lets out a deep breath, "Thank The Hist." He chuckles.
Ysrae laughs nervously, "Sorry if I gave you that impression..."
Scouts shakes his head, "It's ok. I was afraid I was going to hurt you."
Ysrae snorts and laughs, feeling reassured. "You do not have to worry about hurting me in that way." She frowns, "What made you think it would hurt me?"
Scouts shrugs, "I don't know how your people deal with these sorts of things."
Ysrae hums, "I do not know how things used to be, but my clan is casual when it comes to intimacy. Er, was casual," Ysrae sighs. "Anyways, it was not uncommon for someone to have one or more partners. It was always assumed it was not serious, unless otherwise indicated. But, say I was interested in someone. I would tell them I wanted something more with them. If they agreed, we would only be with each other. We would then, most likely, get married."
"Somewhat similar to down here, then." Scouts leans back and crosses his arms, "Guess I worried for no reason."
Ysrae smiles, "At least we have avoided a misunderstanding. What is different down here?"
Scouts rubs his neck, "Ah, some people will wear an amulet of Mara if they are actively looking to get married. Some use it to find out if they person they are interested in likes them to."
Ysrae furrows her brow, "Is it not better to be honest? It could give the impression that they are not interested in the person they want."
Scouts hums. "I think some people think that is better than being rejected outright."
"Scouts is right. Humans in particular don't seem to take rejection well."
Ysrae and Scouts turn to Mol, who is sitting on his bed and stretching.
"How long have you been awake?" Scouts shoots Ysrae a nervous glance.
She shrugs, not caring if Mol heard their entire conversation or not.
Mol grunts and stands, "I don't know how you got on the topic of love and marriage, but now I know the Snow Elves approach it similarly to everyone else in Skyrim." Mol starts to change out of his bed clothes.
Ysrae switches her attention to Scouts to give Mol some privacy. Scouts looks so relieved, Ysrae can't help but laugh. She tries to disguise it as a cough, smiling behind her fist. He shoots her a look and she stares back, smile still on her face. He eventually relents and smiles back. She nods.
Ysrae's face turns serious as she remembers the offer Gilfre made last night. She leans forward and clasps her hands. She has made up her mind.
Mol sits on the other side of her. Ysrae glances at him. He's eating a hunk of dried meat. He looks concerned.
"You ok, Ysrae?"
She nods. "Gilfe offered us jobs here for as long as we want." She sighs and stares at her hands. "I am going to stay here awhile. I understand if the two of you want to move on."
A heavy silence follows her statement. Ysrae glances up at them. They both are staring at her. Scouts-Many-Marshes' brow is furrowed.
Mol finds his voice first and scoffs, "Like I'm going to leave when you promised to teach me about the Snow Elves. Plus, I would be an ass to leave before you recovered more."
Scouts nods, "I agree with the last part. It would also be nice to save up some coin."
"Thank you," Ysrae whispers. She smiles at them, "I was hoping you would both stay. I-" A knock interrupts her. She sighs and stands, "Guess it is time to tell Gilfre our decision."