-Note by me: As you probably guessed, I still know nothing about college. Guess why!! Cos SOMEBODY'S (-yeah…YOU PEOPLE! Except a select few to whom I give my deepest thanks!!-) are NOT reviewing to tell me about college, and at the same time their opinions as to the story! REVIEW PEOPLE!! REVIEW DAMMIT! REVIEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!

…none of that stands anymore, of course. Except the reviewing bit. I always welcome reviews 

Chapter 4: Partings and meetings.

The next day, I was dead anguished. Would Umi even talk to me after yesterday's disaster?

I arrived at the college early and sat down on the steps looking nonchalantly hot as I liked to do, for distraction. It felt oddly good to see girls turn around and stare, to have that kind of power, even though it was the only kind of power I ever had. It felt exactly like five years ago, at Kaibara high. I had forgotten girls acted like that, probably because I had spent all my time with exclusively one of them, and she never indulged in that kind of nonsense. Fawning over attractive boys like it was the solution to all the worlds' troubles.

Suddenly, I spotted Umi in the crowd and my heart skipped a beat. I was afraid she wouldn't notice me, but I needn't have worried. As soon as she saw me she waved energetically and ran up to me with one of her large smiles. I greeted her with a detached nod, although inside me everything bubbled: she hadn't shunned me! Even after my poor performance yesterday, she still wanted to spend time with me!

She sat down next to me on the stairs.

"Good morning, Kyo-kun!" she said cheerfully, then leaned down to look at my face suspiciously. "You look tired today. Is something wrong…?" she asked me with concern.

I wondered why she thought that. I felt perfectly normal, better than I had in a long time, in fact. Then, I realized I still had my slightly lethargic "hot shot" expression and I immediately abandoned it to look like my normal self. With Umi, disguise wasn't needed.

"I'm fine, Umi-chan! I answered, smiling at her as naturally as I coul without looking like a complete idiot until realizing that I had put my foot in it, again. Why the hell had I called her "chan"?, I interiorly berated myself. Stupid! We had only met yesterday, but somehow, it felt like I had known her all my life.

"I'm glad! I was worried. I'm happy that you're feeling alright", she told me, innocent relief clearly visible in her eyes.

"Oh puh-lease!" I waved it off, slightly angry at myself for having made her worry, yet again. It seemed like all I could do was make this girl either worried or flustered. "I'm not a fragile porcelain vase, you know!"

"OH! I-I…didn't mean…I wasn't…I'm sorry…I…", her face flushed with worry, and I couldn't help but grin foolishly at her ever present naiveness.

"Idiot", I chuckled, ruffling up her hair.

She looked up at me, big blue eyes wide with confusion, then crinkled up with laughter. Suddenly, she jumped up and put her hands over her head in a dramatic position.

"I am a porcelain vase, Kyo-kun", she informed me with all the seriousness she could muster.

I stared at her, surprised and even shocked, then realized how funny the situation was and started laughing. Swiftly, I caught her in my arms.

"If you're the vase, then I'm the table that holds the vase!" whilst unceremoniously throwing her over my shoulder.

We both laughed like crazy, but at the same time, I was thinking about how good it felt to be able to hold a girl in my arms without turning into a cat immediately. And Umi-chan looked so happy, so light. I carried her all around the school and back to the steps, where I gently sat her down.

"The table needs some rest now", I panted, sinking to the ground beside her.

"Kyo-kun, did carrying me all that way tire you?" she asked me wide-eyed.

"Do you ALWAYS have to think so much about others?" I replied, rolling my eyes and trying to disguise my fatigue. I wasn't in as good a physical shape I had been before. It had been a long time since I had gone to train in the mountains, a long time since I had been ever driven by the ambition to defeat Yuki.

"I'm really sorry, I'll try not to do it again!" she said, looking guiltily at the ground.

Did she HAVE to sound so much like Ritsu? I wondered, trying to figure out what exactly about that kind of submissiveness got on my nerves in his case but was endearing to me in hers.

"You're such an airhead, you'll probably forget in a minute." I remarked, half to myself.

"I'm trying, Kyo. I'm trying as hard as I can", she whispered. I turned to look at her, but she had her face turned away from me, her shoulders trembling, as if wracked by quiet sobs. Then, all of a sudden, the tears were gone, wiped away by small hands, and Umi smiled again.

The phenomenon was too complicated for me to try to figure out, so I decided to forget it. Stupid really, how emotional girls could be. Did I cry at the merest trifle? Not as far as I knew. And yet my heart reached out towards this fragile creature. I wanted to gather her in my arms again and comfort her to the best of my capacities.

Then the bell rang, and we separated. I already ached to see that sweet smile of hers again. I hoped that after lessons ended, we could go for a walk again.

Suddenly, I thought about Tohru. Guilt filled me up so much that I could burst. I loved Tohru, didn't I? DIDN'T I? And now that she was gone, I allowed myself to have feelings for another girl! Even though five years had gone by, I couldn't forget about everything that had happened. Umi had no idea about my past, the curse, about Akito, all the suffering. She hadn't lived with me for years as Tohru had; we had just shared one day together, and I already thought I loved her. The concept of love wasn't new to me, but usually, it never came so fast, nor seemed so durable. Tohru was my first and only true love, and I had vowed to love her forever, no matter what. Still, I longed to press her against my chest again, inhale the sweet scent of her short brown hair. Would Tohru mind if I started to be happy again after five years of restlessness? Or would she be happy with me, and wish me luck? I abandoned these painful thoughts, deciding to concentrate on my future and not my past. And anyway, I had come to college to study, and I was doing very little of that right now. Time to work, my weary brain thought with sadness, and I bent over my papers to figure out what causes sunburn. As if I was supposed to know the answer to that one…

I didn't see her at the beginning of lunch break. I stood on the steps and looked around, but I couldn't find her anywhere, no matter how long I scanned the faces of the crowd below me. Maybe I had just taken for granted the fact that it was always SHE who came up to me, and nobody else. Maybe she expected ME to make a move towards her. I was just going to go and look for her when a guy stopped me.

"HEY! I recognize you! You're orangey, from Kaibara high! Long time no see!" yelled an enthusiastic boy I barely remembered as being one of the guys on student council. I quickened my pace, trying to make some space between me and my annoying solicitor.

"HEY WAIT!" he shouted, running after me. "Won't you even say hello to you age-old friend? And as far as I remember, you would have already beaten me up for calling you "orangey"! Where are those fists, man?"

"Fuck off!" I hissed, not looking at him. Now I knew exactly who he was: Kakeru Manabe, Yuki's best friend from high school, and an incurable pest.

"Whoa there, chill out! Don't worry, I wasn't gonna bother you any more than this. I just wanted to ask you about Yun-Yun! Where's he gotten to after all these years."

I frowned. Yun-Yun? Who the hell was…? Realization dawned upon me and I couldn't keep from grinning. Then I remembered who was talking to me, and the grin disappeared as quickly as it had come.

"Haven't seen him for over five years", I replied shortly, throwing glances over my shoulder to check the entrance for any sign of Tohru coming out to eat lunch. "NOW will you go away?"

"Sure! As I said, I was just asking", answered Kakeru with a put-off shrug. "Still, I thought you'd want to catch up, man." I half-snarled at him, and he retreated into the crowd with a worried expression on his face.

The rest of the day, I felt gloomy and depressed. Umi's absence weighed on me like a pile of boulders. It was a sort of half physical, half-emotional thing, and it hurt like hell. The evening, I walked around town, trying to get back into my normal state, which, granted, wasn't exactly an amazing show of cheerfulness and good humor, but which was better than this feeling of utter defeat. I crossed busy streets, looking at people that would probably stay up all night to party like their life really WAS as simple as it looked. I saw couples holding hands, families with energetic children and smiling parents, gangs of friends laughing all together, no one excluded. All the things it seemed like I would never have. Then, I saw a large sign above a theatre: "A MUSICAL ADVENTURE, various violin pieces interpreted by MOMIJI SOHMA".

I stopped, and stared at the sign for a while. Ayame was a famous designer. Shigure a bestselling author. Yuki an accomplished businessman. Now, childish, annoying Momiji had become a talented musician. Was I the only one to STILL be going to college and figuring out what he wanted to do with my future?

Suddenly, I noticed a spot of short brown hair, a glimpse of blue eye in the line of people standing before the theatre. Umi? I tried to fray myself a path through the crowd, but I didn't manage to get there before the large golden doors opened and the throng started spilling in.

Slowly but surely, the hall filled and the street emptied. If it HAD been Umi, then she was now probably sitting in a red velvet chair listening to classical music.

At a loss, I just walked up to the theatre door and leaned against a lamppost next to it. It was going to be a long wait, but it would hopefully be worth it, I thought.

Hopefully…