A/N: Just to start with that: I loved all of your reviews on the last chapter, thank you so much! And I'm really glad you're not hating me after I let Summer accept the proposal. In today's chapter, Seth makes his last move... but will it be too late?

It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing

When things seem final everything is happening in a super high speed. When the woman you love decides to marry another man it seems like her future husband is rushing the wedding on purpose, so that she can't change her mind anymore.

At least that was how it seemed to Seth after his friends told him that Summer's and Craig's wedding was supposed to be just one week after Craig's proposal. Seth didn't like that everything seemed like Craig had planned it since the very beginning, but what could he do? Summer had accepted Craig's proposal, and it seemed final.

Although he couldn't help but picture himself telling her that he was in love with her, that he always wanted to be with her, and that she made the world's biggest mistake by marrying Craig. Seth wasn't ready to accept that this was the end.

Tonight was her bachelorette party in the "Windbreaker", and Chris had sent Seth an encouraging email, telling him to talk to Summer one last time. After all, he had nothing to lose. Seth had been thinking about going all day, on the one hand being afraid of another rejection, and on the other hand with the knowledge that he really had nothing to lose. And if he didn't try and tell Summer his feelings today he might probably have regretted it for the rest of his life.

So after having read Chris' email several times, and after one glass of champagne Seth felt encouraged enough to go and confess Summer his love.

And now he was standing in front of the "Windbreaker", inhaling deeply. It was now or never.

A few seconds later, Seth peeked around the corner in the main room of the "Windbreaker" where people were sitting on the several sofas that were spread across the whole room, drinking and laughing. The music was incredibly loud, at least too loud for Seth's Indie music loving ears.

Seth tried to hide as best as he could. He didn't want to be seen by anybody, especially none of his friends. He was excited enough because of what he was about to do, and the last thing he needed was any company that would witness his failure.

Just when he thought that it everyone seemed enough self-occupied, Seth made a step into the room, almost dying from a heart attack when he saw Chris running up towards him, grinning broadly.

"Man, you're here!" Chris yelled and lay an arm around Seth's shoulder, pulling him inside the room towards a table. "And I thought you'd go for the cowardish way."

Seth twisted under Chris' firm grip and forced a smile. "Yeah, I was, at first… but now… I'm here."

Chris winked and his green eyes sparkled. "So tonight's your big night huh?" he asked and pointed with his head in the direction to the buffet, right where Summer was standing, talking to some girls from their English class.

It was only then that Seth realized what he was just about to do. Here he was, at his best friend's bachelor party, the night before her wedding, just about to ask her not to marry Craig and be with him. He quickly shook his head and turned around to head for the exit again when Chris grabbed him by the arm and gave him a confused look.

"Where're you going?"

Seth ran a hand from his chin down his throat and frowned. "I... this is a bachelorette party." He started, his gaze wandering to the door in the hope that Summer wouldn't see him.

Chris gave him a confused look.

Seth rolled his eyes but answered nevertheless. "Bachelorette means women only." He explained.

At that comment, Chris laughed and shook his head, moving closer to Seth. "So what? I'm a man and I'm here."

"You're gay." Seth replied. "That counts as woman." Seth was sure that any other gay person on this planet would have taken his statement as an offense, but he had known Chris long enough to know that he laughed the loudest when jokes about homos were made.

Chris made another move towards Seth and smiled at him seductively. "So be my boyfriend, and you're allowed to stay here."

If it had been a normal situation, Seth would have thought of this joke as funny, but not today. Not now that his emotions were on a permanent rollercoaster. He just made a face towards Chris and made his way up the stairs to the exit.

He had almost reached the upper level when Chris' hand took hold of his arm again, spinning him around. Chris gave Seth a sympathetic look and smiled. "Remember what I told you. You've got nothing to lose. Tell her."

Seth shifted from one foot to the other, hesitating. "I... I wanted to... I don't know." Seth trailed off before he could even start with an explanation.

"Seth. You're gonna regret it later if you don't tell her now." Chris said and pointed a finger towards his chest.

Seth closed his eyes and sighed. Chris didn't understand this. He didn't know how much it hurt to be rejected by the person you loved so much. And Seth was just plain scared of that.

"You don't have to be afraid." Chris said, looking slightly worried.

Seth raised his eyebrows and gave Chris an evil glare.

"Okay, maybe you do have to be afraid. But… there's only one way to find out. Tell her." He said again, looking expectingly at Seth.

"I... was... going to... but…" Seth stammered and felt his cheeks redden.

Great. Really great. This worked just he way he had imagined it. And now he was blushing in front of a homo, very helpful.

"Come oooon, honey, we covered all of that already." Chris said and grinned.

Seth made a face and shook his head. "I just can't, okay? It was stupid enough to ruin my own relationship, why should I ruin hers too?"

"Because you know that she's making a mistake and all you want is for her to be happy – with you." Chris replied.

"This sounds so easy when you say it." Seth replied. And it did. When Chris talked about it, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world to go and tell Summer how he really felt.

Seth felt Chris' hands shoving him down the stairs again. "It is that easy." When they had reached the bottom floor, Chris turned Seth's head into Summer's direction. She was still talking to the girls, laughing every now and then, pushing some strands of her curled long dark hair behind her ear from time to time. And she looked beautiful. More beautiful than anybody he had ever seen before.

All of a sudden, the image of perfection was destroyed by Chris' hand that was moving up and down in front of his face.

"Earth calling Seth, Earth calling Seth... are you still there?"

Seth nodded and swallowed as if to shut out the overwhelming feelings inside of him. "I need to tell her." He whispered all of a sudden, and Chris' face brightened. He patted his hands on Seth's shoulders and shoved him forward a little more.

"You're so right. Go and tell her. You have nothing to lose."

And Seth knew that Chris was right. So he inhaled deeply and closed his eyes for a short second to gather some courage. When he didn't feel like fainting anymore, he took some steps forward into Summer's direction, never forgetting the words he wanted to tell her.

Summer was so concentrated on her talk with Jenny and Rachel that she didn't see Seth approaching them. And when he tipped her on the shoulder and he stood intimidatingly close to her she shrieked a little, covering her hand with her mouth.

"God, Cohen, you scared the shit out of me." She said and brought a hand to her chest.

Seth forced a nervous smile and took hold of Summer's arm, pulling her slightly away from the other girls. "I need to talk to you." He said and gave Rachel and Jenny a smile. "Alone."

The two girls shrugged and disappeared in the crowd, leaving Seth and Summer on their own.

Seth looked around himself and cleared his throat. The music was way too loud regarding the importance of the things he was about to tell her.

"Can we go outside?" he asked with a pleading look.

Summer didn't understand what was going on and she just shrugged. "Sure."

She let Seth lead her outside in the Chicago spring night where Seth motioned her to take a seat on a nearby bench.

As a slight breeze came blowing over Summer's bare arms, and she rubbed them, shivering slightly. As Seth saw that he took off his vest and – gentleman that he was – pulled it around Summer's shoulder.

After that, Seth nervously put his hands under his thighs and smiled. "So..." he said and nodded.

Summer frowned. She didn't get what this conversation should be about. "So?"

Seth's head scanned the environment. "What a wonderful night." He stated and looked back at her. "Don't you think?"

This was very confusing. Summer was used to Seth's rambling or nonsense talks, but this one was probably the most ridiculous conversation they'd ever had. "Wonderful, Cohen." She replied sarcastically, pulling the vest tighter around her shoulders. "What's going on?"

Seth nodded and forced a stupid grin. "Bachelorette party, huh? It's like – your big day." He stated, his eyes never leaving hers, even if he knew that he was just about to embarrass himself due to his permanent rambling.

Summer frowned and nodded, and because she didn't know what to answer she decided to answer nothing and wait for what was about to come out of Seth's mouth.

It didn't take him longer than ten seconds to go on talking.

"So... you're really not concerned on getting married so close to the finals?" he asked, his upper body rocking slightly back and forth, accompanied by a nervous tapping on the floor with his left foot.

Summer just shrugged in response. "Not really. What does getting married have to do with the finals, anyway?"

Now Seth shrugged as well. "I mean you're moving... that's a whole bunch of stress... and then you gotta study... finals are only two weeks away... and then you need to plan the wedding, you know, guest lists and stuff like that..."

Frowning again, Summer's facial expression turned into a question mark. It wasn't like Seth and her had never been talking about all of this before... moreover, Seth knew everything about all the things he had just mentioned.

"Cohen, the whole wedding planning stuff... already happened. And there's no stress in moving. We have a company that moves us. And I can still study for the finals. Just because I'm getting married it doesn't mean that my brain stops working."

Seth shook his head and sighed. If it would have been possible at that moment, he would have kicked himself in the ass for being such a coward and just trying to save some time instead of just telling her the words he had practiced so often the night before. "So you think you're gonna like Atlanta? It was the host of the Olympics in 96."

If Summer hadn't considered Seth as insane until that moment, she definitely did now. This was probably the best – ironical, of course – rambling session she had ever heard from him. And if there was one thing she had learned over the years about Seth's famous rambling sessions, it was that every time he started one of them all he really wanted to do was to avoid much more serious issues.

"Cohen, what's wrong?" she asked and narrowed her eyes.

And it almost gave her a heart attack to hear the next words that came out of Seth's mouth.

"Don't marry him, Summer."

Summer's eyes widened twice their normal size. She blinked three times and shook her head, assuming that her ears had just played a trick on her. "What?" was all she could manage to reply.

Now Seth took her hands in his and squeezed them tight, moving closer to her and giving her one of his hurt puppy looks she had never been able to resist.

"You just can't marry him, Summer. It would be a huge mistake." Seth paused a little. He couldn't believe that he was actually saying the words that had wanted to come out for so long now.

Summer inhaled once and closed her eyes. "Cohen-"

Seth's heart pounded heavily against his chest, but he needed to shut her off before his courage left him again. He just needed to tell her everything to avert her wedding with Craig.

Squeezing her hands only tighter, Seth went on. "No Summer, listen. I beg you not to marry Craig." He was surprised of how hurt his voice sounded when he told her his plea, but he was sure that the hurt in his voice could be really good to convince Summer to get back together with him.

He had played the wrong card.

"This is ridiculous, Cohen." Summer replied and softly pulled her hands out of Seth's tight grip, folding them in her lap and lowering her head, not being able to look him in the eyes right now.

Summer watched as Seth took another deep breath and closed his eyes, his lips pressed together tightly. After a few seconds, he rolled his lips inward and sighed again.

"I love you, Summer. More than anything. I always have. I never stopped. And I always will. And I know that you're not just feeling friendship for me too."

He practically felt how his little declaration of love made her melt right under his hands, and for just a short moment, she gave him the impression that she was about to burst into tears of joy and fall back into his arms, telling him the three magical words as well.

He watched her as she fought some tears as she bit her lip and took some deep and controlled breaths. "Seth, this is none of your business anymore. We split up years ago, for good."

Seth shook his head enthusiastically. "Who says it was for good? Who says we didn't make a huge mistake back then?"

Summer let out a laugh and looked up to the sky, shaking her head. The heaviness of all the different emotions that came crushing down on her right at that moment was almost unbearable.

"Yeah, and what if we did? It's too late now anyways. And we both found partners we're happy with." She paused and looked at him. "Well, at least I did. You and I are over."

Summer shot Seth a quick glance and she saw how the wheels in his head were turning, how he was desperately trying to find some words that would convince her to come back to him. But she knew that she couldn't just go back to Seth after all those years, let alone on the night before her wedding day. What he wanted from her was ridiculous, and he knew it as well as she did.

When Seth had finally gathered enough courage again, he couldn't help but pointing out to that he was single. "I broke up with Amy, you know that."

Now Summer's breathing became quicker and her heart started to race in an almost abnormal speed. "Yeah." She whispered. "But… why?"

Seth nodded enthusiastically and moved closer to her again. "I realized that I was only with her to numb the pain of being apart from you."

Dear God, what was he doing with her? Why did he do this to her, on the most important night of her life? Why had he waited so long for this? Summer's heart ached to tell him how she really felt, and how he was the only one she really wanted to be with, for the rest of her life, but her brain told her to stick to a decision she made in her life, just for once. And she couldn't just come running back to Seth when he asked her to. She couldn't do that to herself, and, most of all, Craig. Because Craig really loved her, and he was ready to steal the stars from the sky for her whenever she felt like wanting one. Plus, she still had some pride. Her thoughts were interrupted by another of Seth's attempts to convince her to blow the wedding off.

"And you're fooling yourself if you think you'll be happy with him. Cuz you don't love him, Summer."

This statement caused Summer to laugh again, and she threw her head back, shaking her head. "How do you know what I feel?"

Seth rolled his lips inward and moved closer to her again until their knees were touching and she could smell his aftershave. It hadn't changed over the years, he still smelled like High School, like Newport Beach, like home.

Seth's heart pounded hard inside his chest as he once again took Summer's hands in his own and started to gently rub them with his thumbs. "It's in your every move. It's in the way you look at him, and in the way you look at me. Summer, don't you feel the sparks between us every time we're together?"

Of course she felt them. In fact, they had never gone away since they had broken up. Summer felt her eyes water and her gaze darkened, trying to cover the wetness of her eyes. She slowly lifted her head and faced him.

"You have no right to do this to me. Not the night before my wedding." She said, fighting her voice from cracking.

Out of an impulse that told her the best solution was to run away from the situation, Summer jumped up, pulling Seth's vest tighter around her upper body and headed for the club's entrance without saying another word to Seth.

The same jumped up as well, not willing to give her up so easily. "Summer, wait!" he yelled and started to run after her. When he reached her he saw that some tears had begun to run down her cheeks, and he interpreted that as a good sign. It showed that she still had feelings for him, because if she didn't, why waste so much emotion on somebody you didn't care for?

Summer swallowed and looked away, wiping away some tears that had gathered on her chin. "No, Cohen. I'm getting married tomorrow, to Craig. You're too late." She said as coldly as she could and started to run again.

Seth still wasn't willing to give up, and he grabbed Summer's arm, spinning her around, lifting her chin so she had to face him. He gave her the best bambi-eye-look he could manage.

"Summer, I know that you love me. You can try to deny it, but that doesn't change your feelings. Unless you tell me that you don't love me I won't give up on you so easily."

More tears started to flow from Summer's eyes, and she turned around, wrapping the coat tight around her shoulders, giving him the best icy stare she could manage with that tons of emotions inside of her.

"I don't love you, Seth." She said flatly and turned around again, trying hard not to burst into tears in front of his eyes, ignoring the incredible pain in her heart as she saw the hurt look in his eyes as soon as the sentence had been spoken.

Summer's breathing became faster and her pace quickened towards the entrance of the club. She didn't dare to turn around and see how Seth was doing. She knew that if she turned around now she would give in to her feelings and go back to him. But she was an adult woman now, and she had to face the consequences of the choices she made. And her choice had been to marry Craig, and she would do that.

When she was inside the club, Summer gave up on telling herself stupid lies to prevent herself from crying, and she leant against the wall, slowly sliding down on it until she sat on the floor, her knees pulled up to her chest and Seth's vest covering most of her face, and she started to sob uncontrollably. Why in all world had she been so stupid and had refused the only man she had ever loved in her entire life? And why did it have to hurt so much to make the decision that seemed to be the most reasonable?

Seth had wanted to run after her the minute she had turned her back on him again, but her words – I don't love you, Seth – had felt as if she had just ripped out his heart, trampling on it. And not at once but piece by piece, and every piece that was ripped out seemed to be more painful than the one before, and he hadn't been able to move.

He couldn't believe that he had lost her forever. He would have given everything to bet that she would come back to him, that she would forget about Craig and start thinking about Seth and Summer as a couple again, a couple that should never have parted in the first place.

But here he was, all alone in front of a fancy club in the middle of Chicago, the waves of the Lake Michigan steadily rolling in and out the shore, every wave causing the terrible pain in his heart to increase.

As the realization of the meaning of her last words came crushing down on him Seth couldn't help but letting some tears of desperation fall down his face. Maybe it wouldn't have hurt so much if he hadn't been so sure about her coming back to him. He would have given his own life to bet that she would really leave Craig for him.

And now he had lost her forever.

In 24 hours from now, Miss Summer Roberts would be Misses Summer Matthews, and all he could do then was to write a greeting card.

When Seth couldn't stand the environment in which she had rejected him anymore he started to walk into the direction of the elevated train, his hands in his jeans pockets, and his head bowed.

What he needed right now was to go home, crawl up into bed with lots of alcohol and trying to gather some strength to somehow make it through the next day without bursting into tears at the wedding ceremony.

And he still had a whole night of mourning and pity in front of him, but he was almost sure that after this night, he would wake up exactly as heartbroken and lost as he was now. Because this was sorrow that would never go away.

It only hurts when I'm breathing

My heart only breaks when it's beating

My dreams only die when I'm dreaming

So I hold my breath

To forget

(Shania Twain, It only hurts when I'm breathing)

Next chapter: The One That Got Away - part 1 outof2of the finale.