This is gonna be the first chapter from a review, suggested by Wintas! Now, it should be noted that I have no idea about anything in Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, so this will probably be a bad attempt. All I really got is the knowledge from Jump Force, DevilArtemis, and some research, which I did. They are really simple Stands, honestly.
I will also be taking fan-WRITTEN chapters too, meaning if you guys write something for this then I'll insert the reactions of everyone here including myself.
Without further ado, let the chapter begin.
Chapter 3: The Ultimate Stand Battle
Lego stood outside the door to the theater before checking the watch he suddenly had on his left wrist. He then pulled out a pistol before breathing in and out. "Please don't be acting like lunatics, please don't be acting like lunatics, PLEASE don't be acting like lunatics!" He then kicked the door open and shot the first person he saw who happened to be Mineta, who then fell to the floor.
Everyone in room turn to look at the murdered Mineta, before the midget slowly got up and brushed himself off before turning to Lego. "Did you have to shoot me?"
"Nope," Lego said before shooting Mineta again. "But I wanted to." Lego then turned to see what was happening this time, and was relieved that nobody was trying to murder each other. He pocketed his pistol as a result. "So, nobody is murdering each other. That's good."
"Hey hey hey! What were you going to do if we were? Were you going to shoot us?" Nejire asked.
"Yes," Lego admitted. "Regardless of who it was, I was gonna shoot someone. Hell, I was tempted to come in leading with this." Lego then pulled out a shotgun that had been painted so it looked like it was red with a white crescent on it.
"A shotgun? What the hell would a shotgun do to us?" Shigaraki asked.
"First, it would erase you from existence if I shot you," Lego answered before shooting Mineta, who then suddenly faded out of existence. But since everyone was immortal, he came back. Mineta then looked really scared before he ran to the other side of the theater.
"Are you going to continue bullying Mineta throughout this whole thing?" Aizawa asked.
"Why yes. Yes I am," Lego admitted before pulling out a remote a clicked a button in it, which then set off a C4 that blew up as Mineta ran over it, killing Mineta yet again. "But bullying aside, it's time for the second world to be seen!"
"I wonder what we'll see this time," Itsuka Kendo wondered.
"Maybe we'll see a villain as a hero," Setsuna assumed.
"Well let's shut up and play this world then!" Lego said before he pulled out the remote to the projector. But before he could press play, he suddenly got a phone call. "Hold up, I gotta take this." He then stood up and went to the side before answering. "Yeah, hello? ...wait, what do you mean the host left? How could they have left? We literally… son of a bitch…" He sighed, before massaging his temple with his left hand. "Okay… I'll come and take care of it." He was silent again. "What do you mean, 'What about the audience'? They don't need me here to react to the world." Lego started tapping his foot on the ground. "If it's that big of a problem, then how about you come and watch the world with them. Hmm? How about you try those apples? Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to be the host, and you can come and sit with them while you react to the world with them."
A new person then entered through the door that Lego had entered from, and everyone including Lego turned to see an adult man who looked very agitated and slightly mad, who was holding a phone and looking at Lego. The man then threw his phone on the ground before stomping on it.
"Fine," the man said.
"Don't gotta be so aggressive Bardock," Lego remarked.
"I don't want to be here watching something LIVE from the seats of your theater," Bardock retorted. "I want to be training Izuku since we have some off time before the next chapter of 'A Quirky Quirkless and Android Duo' is going to be written!"
"Shut up and do as you're told," Lego ordered. "Or do you want to go, there?"
Bardock's eyes widened, and he immediately shut up. "O-Okay…" The man then went down to the front row, with Lego exiting the room through the door.
Izuku, who was curious, decided to speak up. "So, if you don't mind me asking, who are you?"
Bardock turned to face Izuku. "My name is Bardock. I'm an alien from a race known as the Saiyans. I'm from the Dragon Ball Z multiverse. I'm apart of Lego's 10 Elite Characters, which are the top characters that he has that he prefers over some characters. I'm in the top three of that list."
"I guess even Realmcrafters have favorites," Tokoyami commented, using the term that Tale had used in the last chapter.
"...yes. Yes they do," Bardock agreed before grabbing the remote from Lego's seat before sitting down in a seat. He then pressed the play button and started the world. "Well, let's see what this is all about."
"Welcome back to the show featuring battles that varies from Rap Battles, Video Game Battles, and Deathmatches!" Came the voice of the host that seemed extremely familiar. The host of the reality show that they were watching was turned around and sitting in a chair "Today however, it is another Deathmatch with the prize being a wish from the Dragon Balls!" The host then turned around to reveal it was Lego. "I'm your host, Lego. So what's up bitches?!"
Bardock facepalmed. "Of course he's doing it live…"
"Lego's the host?" Izuku questioned.
"Well that would explain why he left and Bardock is here to react to this with us," All For One said. "I wonder who the contestants are."
"Today's contestants have quite the beef with each other, so today they might settle the beef that has yet to be settled," Lego informed. "Now, to introduce our two opponents. Please enter onto the stage!"
On one side, came All Might in his muscle form. And on the other, was All For One with his mask on. Obviously the two knew that they were going to face each other as they were already tensed and about ready to spring forward and murder their opponent.
"We have both the Symbol of Peace and the Symbol of Evil, All Might and All For One here for the ultimate Deathmatch!" Lego announced. "However, we're going to throw in something very serious into this match." Lego smiled. "We're going to throw in Stands into this Deathmatch!"
"Stands?" That confused most of the audience except Bardock.
"Well, this is gonna be interesting," Bardock commented. "If they got Stands, then they must have two of the most basic stands since Lego only knows 2 stands."
"Which are…?" Spinner asked.
"All Might has the Stand known as Star Platinum, and All For One has the Stand known as The World!" Lego announced. "I am really excited for this battle! Now, let the Deathmatch begin!"
"It's been a long time, All Might," All For One monologued. "Every second that I've lived since you brutally bashed my face in, I spent pondering how I would kill you. This will be the ultimate way to do it. On Live television, with powers that even I could have dreamed of!"
"Well I spent my time pondering on if you were alive. And here you are, looking like a wannabe Darth Vader," All Might roasted.
"Woah, are they gonna start roasting each other?" Kaminari asked.
"I do not look like a wannabe Darth Vader with my mask on!" All For One in the audience shouted, slightly mad by how All Might insulted him.
"Oh you did not just call me that!" All For One shouted, his right arm trembling in rage, ready to punch All Might and beat the crap out of him.
"Oh I just did," All Might answered. "Also, Star Finger."
"I'm sorry, Star wha-AAAAAAAH!" All For One was then sent flying into a wall, a burly figure standing behind him with his middle and index finger stretched out before retracting to normal length. The man then hovered beside All Might.
"You were too busy monologuing to notice my Stand, Star Platinum," All Might said. "It's over for you All For One. YOU'RE FINISHED!" All Might then dashed at All For One, readying a punch with his stand ready to assist his master.
All For One got out of the wall of which he crashed into before summoning his own stand. "Za Worldo!" All For One shouted. "Time, stop!"
"He can pause time?!" Present Mic exclaimed.
"Now that is a power, I would like," All For One said.
Then suddenly, everything seemed to slow down but All Might and his stand didn't, and so All Might ended up punching All For One anyways, and hit him through the hole in the wall, before taking off after him.
Lego was silent before he checked his watch. "Well, I guess we can take this to them so we can see their battle," he said before time resumed. He pressed a button before his desk started to fly, and he then flew off towards All Might and All For One's epic fight scene.
"He has a hover-desk?!" Mei shouted. "I bet I could make a baby like that!"
"How would you be the mommy of that?" Eri asked, completely unaware that Mei meant gadgets.
Aizawa sighed. "Whenever she uses the term, 'baby', she means support items Eri."
"Oh…" Eri said.
"Man, UA has some weird kids," Dabi remarked.
At the fight scene of the two greatest heroes and villains, it was already looking like the Kamino Ward incident except in broad daylight. All Might and All For One were exchanging blows with both their fists, and also their stands' fist.
"So, I see our stands are on par, and we are too!" All For One commented as they had backed away from each other.
"Yeah, we are!" All Might agreed, wiping some blood off his lip.
All For One was silent before he held up his hand. "Well. At least I had this prepared."
"Had what prepared?" All Might questioned, before he was under a sudden shadow before he looked up and got crushed by a Road Roller that All For One was yeeting down onto All Might.
"MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA!" All For One repeated. He then looked up into the sky before giving a victory yell as the Road Roller exploded.
"I got crushed by a Road Roller and killed by All For One," All Might summarized. "And here I thought I might win."
"I didn't expect a Road Roller though," Nezu said. "These Stands are pretty random however. But they are really interesting."
"Tell me about it," Bardock said. "I have had some bad encounters with a certain bug man and his stand…" That made everyone wonder what Bardock had been through, and who this bug man was.
"Wow, is this the end already?!" Lego narrated. "Is All For One the winner?"
"Of course I am!" All For One answered as he flew right next to Lego. "All Might is dead!"
"Then what's that?" Lego asked as he pointed to something behind All For One. All For One then turned around before he got punched in his face into the ground by All Might.
"All Might's still alive?!" Shigaraki exclaimed in shock. "That's bullshit! No one can live the explosion of a road roller!"
"And no one can live a punch from All Might at 100%," Stain retorted. "And yet All For One can."
"...fair point," Shigaraki reluctantly agreed.
"I'm still alive!" All Might shouted at All For One before Star Platinum flew towards Za Worldo and the two Stands started exchanging blows yet again.
All For One then fired a blast at All Might who simply dodged it and threw another punch at the Symbol of Evil, and All For One caught the fist. "I didn't think you would die that easy. So that's why I did this."
"Did what?" All Might asked before Star Platinum got thrown into him and they hit a building, and went through that before hitting the building through that, and repeating that until a whole block was decimated.
All For One laughed as his stand, Za Worldo hovered next to him, while glowing with a black aura around it. The stand had claws coming from between its knuckles, which made it look like a ripoff Wolverine. It also had two bone-like pincers coming out of the sides of its mouth, though it looked like they came out of his cheeks.
"That… that thing has my pincers…" Kamikiri mumbled as he raised his hand to his face.
"All For One can give stands Quirks?!" Bardock shouted, surprised by the sudden transformation.
"Okay, now this I didn't expect," Lego admitted as he gazed upon Za Worldo's new form. "This spices things up!"
"Behold, Za World-Fo One!" All For One announced as he named the Stand's new form. Though in reality, this would be a bullshit move.
Especially since All Might came back and decked All For One in the face and sent him flying towards Star Platinum who then beat the living shit out of All For One.
Za World-Fo One tried to assist All For One by getting Star Platinum off him, but the Stand got hit by All Might which sent it all the way towards a building, proceeding into the same process that happened to All Might. All Might then, as the opportunity arose, he jumped into the air.
"So long, One For All," he whispered to himself as he concentrated all of his power into his right arm, reverting the rest of him into his true form. He then sent his buffed arm into the villain's face, as he yelled, "UNITED STATES OF SMASH!"
The following attack then proceeded to cause a massive tornado to form around the body of All For One, obscuring All Might and All For One from view.
"So, we're left at a standstill until we know who's alive and who's dead," Bardock said.
"Did you make a pun without doing so on purpose?" Spinner asked before Bardock facepalmed, causing several members of the audience to laugh.
"At least I don't make random jokes and say random shit for no reasons," Bardock retorted.
"OPEN BOOTY!" A random voice yelled from who the fuck knows where. "BEES HAVE KNEES!"
As the dust settled, with Lego trying to help clear the dust with his fan that he placed on his desk and turned on, he saw a figure standing in the dust cloud. "I think we may have a winner folks! And that winner is…"
The dust cleared and showed that it was All Might in his true form who had won the battle, standing over a dead All For One.
"Of course it's All Might," All For One grumbled. "Heroes always win…"
"But the villains won last time, didn't they?" Izuku pointed out.
"...okay fair point," All For One said.
As All Might stood over the corpse of All For One, he sighed. "I… I did it…"
"Yes you did All Might!" Lego said. "You won the Deathmatch!"
That was before All Might got shot in the back and fell down to the ground dead, with a man holding a revolver behind him as he looked at the now dead Symbol of Peace. He then looked at Lego and smiled. "HAHA, I WON THE DEATHMATCH!"
"Oh that's bullshit!" All Might and All For One shouted.
"And of course Shallot is in the chapter," Bardock said.
"That guy's name is Shallot?" Mina questioned.
"Yes… yes it is…" Bardock answered.
"Congrats on your bullshit kill Shallot," Lego said before pulling out the Dragon Balls, which were the size of a human head. He then coughed and took a sip of some soda before he finally said the password. "AKUMA MATADA!"
Then a massive and fucking ripped Dragon Genie appeared. "I am the eternal dragon Porunga. State your three wishes," the dragon genie stated.
"Okay, I wish to become immortal!" Shallot wished.
"Done," Porunga said.
"I want to revive everything killed by All For One and All Might, and bring them back as well but throw All For One in a jail cell," Shallot said.
"Done," Porunga said as All Might suddenly awoke and came back to life, All For One's body disappearing.
"And my last wish, make an ignited grenade appear in the stomach of some random teenage pervert," Shallot finished.
"Done," Porunga said. "Farewell." He then disappeared, the seven Dragon Balls scattering across the planet.
Mineta sighed. "I can already see where this is going."
"At least everyone we killed was revived," All Might said, talking to All For One.
"It's a shame I was thrown into a jail cell, but it was to be expected," All For One added.
Meanwhile in the school of UA High, Class 1A was doing battle training before Mineta suddenly started shaking. Kaminari noticed this and looked at his short friend. "Yo, you okay man?"
"Yeah? Wh-?" It was at that moment the grenade in Mineta's stomach exploded, causing blood to go everywhere and a few of his organs to splatter onto the walls, and a few of the students.
"OH MY FUCKING GOD, MINETA EXPLODED!" Kaminari exclaimed. "AND MY GLASSES ARE FUCKING RUINED!"
Shallot then ran into the Gym Gamma of UA after that and shouted, "HAHA, I KILLED MINETA!"
The End
"That Shallot asshole killed me in the one of the most gory ways I could've imagined," Mineta said, before sighing. "We're gonna be seeing a lot of this, aren't we?"
"Yes!" Lego said as he reappeared. He then shot Mineta again. "Yes we are."
"So, I take it you're gonna let me go?" Bardock asked hopefully.
"Nope! You're reacting with all of us now!" Lego said. "Though I was surprised Shallot appeared and that last wish. But hey, Mineta went out with quite, A BANG." The joke was so corny that nobody actually laughed. Not even a chuckle. Lego was silent for a moment before he sighed and flipped them all off. "Fuck you all."
I like making references. And also, to anyone who can guess where the "OPEN BOOTY! BEES HAVE KNEES!" thing is from, you get a shout out next chapter. Also, you're not allowed to compete Tale. I gotta let the other readers guess so they have a chance to shine.
Anywho, Merry Christmas you guys!