Chapter Nine: The Truth about Fawkes

"Hello again, Harry," Dumbledore said once Harry was seated in his usual chair. "How have you been?"

"I'm good, sir. And you?"

"Oh, good, good." The office door opened again and McGonagall walked in, eyes fixed on the stack of parchment in her hands.

"Good morning, Albus, Fawkes," McGonagall greeted them, then raising her head and seeing them for the first time, she paused before adding, "Potter." She handed the stack of parchment to Dumbledore. "The post has come. You might find a few of those interesting," she said grimly. "Several of them are from the parents of the students who were involved in the attack on Malfoy."

Dumbledore sighed heavily. "Thank you, Minerva," he said, and she nodded at him before leaving. "Now, where were we?" Dumbledore asked Harry, purposefully shoving the letters to the side. He would deal with them later. "Oh, yes. Professor Tonks told me about your bonus presentation a couple of weeks ago." Unsure of where Dumbledore was going with this, Harry simply nodded. "I am glad that you agreed to do it. It is good for the others to hear about what Riddle was like before he became Voldemort, and for them to realize that he is just a human."

"Sort of."

"Yes, sort of. Tonks also mentioned that it seemed therapeutic for you to discuss Riddle with your classmates. Do you agree?"

Harry hesitated. "I don't know. I guess so. I did feel like I'd... purged... some emotional unpleasantness by talking about it."

Dumbledore nodded. "I am sorry, Harry. I should have realized earlier that you would need to discuss your feelings. I am glad that you finally got a chance to. How is it going between you and Mr. Malfoy?"

Harry smiled. "It's going good. I really like being with him." He paused and bit his lip before blurting out something that had been bothering him. "Professor Dumbledore, how do I know if Draco is the one in the prophecy?" Dumbledore steepled his fingers and studied Harry for a long moment.

"Do you love him?" he finally asked. Harry threw is hands in the air in exasperation. He'd been asking himself the same thing for weeks.

"I don't know! How am I supposed to know if I love him or not? I know I've never felt this way about anyone else, but does that make it love? And even if it is love, how do I know I'm in love with the right person?"

"Harry, do you remember me telling you how the prophecy could have been referring to Mr. Longbottom?" Harry nodded. "You asked me then how you could know for sure that the prophecy meant you. Do you remember what I told you?"

"That Voldemort made it refer to me when he marked me."

"Correct. It works the same way with Mr. Malfoy. If you fall in love with him, you make him the person referred to in the prophecy." Harry pulled his legs up in the chair and wrapped his arm around his knees.

"What if I don't want the Prophecy to mean him? I'd be putting him in danger by making him such an integral part of my possible victory. What if he gets killed because of me?"

"It is very hard to love in a time of war," Dumbledore said softly, his blue gaze focusing on Fawkes' scarlet feathers across the room. "And it is possible that something will happen that will make it impossible for you to be together." He closed his eyes for a second, fighting against a wave of painful memories. His eyes were normal again when he opened them, but Harry wasn't fooled. "That is what is hardest about being a hero. You sometimes must sacrifice what you love the most for the good of everyone else."

"That's not fair. I didn't askfor any of this. I don't want fame or glory."

"You see, that is what makes a true hero, Harry. True heroes never volunteer; they simply do what they have to do. And it does not always end up happily ever after."

"Like you and Fawkes?"

Dumbledore's blue eyes widened in shock. "What?"

"That's what happened to you and Fawkes, wasn't it? Because you fought against him, and because he was afraid of you, Voldemort took out his anger on the one you loved instead."

"Why would you think that?" Dumbledore asked, trying to seem calm.

"The way you always look at Fawkes whenever you have to tell me something difficult. The way he's always on your shoulder when you're feeling sad. You haven't looked away from him once the entire time we were talking about love and loss. And the fact that McGonagall addressed him like he was human tipped me off too. And the times that I've interacted with him, he's always seemed very human. I think I started suspecting that there was more to Fawkes than met the eye when he helped me defeat the basilisk during my second year." Dumbledore leaned back in his chair, truly stunned. Fawkes let out a musical trill that sounded like a laugh and landed lightly on Dumbledore's shoulder. Dumbledore's gaze turned inward and Harry suspected that he and Fawkes were conversing somehow.

"You are truly an amazing person, Harry," he finally said. Harry smiled shyly.

"So, will you tell me about it?" he asked tentatively. Dumbledore was quiet for a long moment, and Harry was afraid he was going to say no. Then, after a heavy sigh, Dumbledore began his story.

"Fawkes Finley and I have been best friends almost all of our lives. We were raised together, we went to Hogwarts together, and we both were sorted into the Gryffindor House. His younger cousin Minerva McGonagall," he smiled at Harry's raised eyebrows, "followed us everywhere and—after we gave up on trying to push her away—we became inseparable, much like you, Mr. Weasely, and Miss Granger. One day we were wrestling late at night in the common room over who had won our last chess match and we... ended up kissing." He smiled softly, remembering. "It is funny how one kiss can change so much. I do not know how Minerva felt at first about our relationship, but she seemed to accept it in time. She was very good about knowing when we wanted to be left alone. We graduated and went separate directions, but we still managed to remain close. I knew I wished to be a teacher, so I stayed on at Hogwarts assisting Professor Dantura, who I eventually succeeded. Fawkes, on the other hand, traveled with theater companies, singing and dancing and acting. We owled each other often, and I Apparated to Fawkes' apartment as much as possible and tried to see every single one of his shows. We were determined to live the rest of our lives together." Dumbledore closed his eyes again and Fawkes trilled softly and nuzzled his head against Dumbledore's chin. "The same year that I proposed to Fawkes, Riddle rose to power. I was overconfident. I assumed that the power difference between Riddle and me was enough that I could overtly oppose him without worrying about what he could do to me in return. Unfortunately, he knew that this was true, as well, so he looked for other weaknesses—and found one. My relationship with Fawkes was not a public one, but when Voldemort wishes to know something, it is only a matter of time. I do not know whom he tortured or terrorized to get this information, and I do not want to, but somehow he found out that I had a lover. On the opening night of one of Fawkes' biggest roles—Mercutio in Shakespear's Romeo and Juliet—I had to regretfully owl him and tell him that I could not come. Later that evening I decided to clear my schedule and go and surprise him. I Apparated at the theater just in time to see Voldemort use the Killing Curse on him." Another painful pause. "You would not believe the anguish I felt. I unconsciously reached out with my magic as I felt my partner's soul slip out of his body." He stroked the phoenix's head softly. "And this was the result. He still died, but his death was no longer permanent. We have searched long and hard trying to find a counterspell that would return him to human form but, honestly, I am simply happy to have him still with me at all." Fawkes closed his black eyes and nuzzled his partner again. The room fell silent again. "Harry," Dumbledore said suddenly, "if you do decide that you love Mr. Malfoy, I think it would be best if you told him about the prophecy—his role as well as yours." Harry nodded. He had already reached the same conclusion. "And, whatever you do, enjoy the time you have with him, and try not to worry too much about the future—no matter how hard that may seem."

Harry nodded again. "Thank you sir, Fawkes." Dumbledore smiled as both man and bird nodded back at the boy.

"Take care, Harry."

Dumbledore watched the office door swing shut behind his favorite student. "Well, what do you make of all this, Fawkes?"

"I think Harry is wise beyond his years. In all this time no one else has ever figured out that I am more than just a bird." Dumbledore winced slightly as he heard the slightly bitter edge in Fawkes' voice. "I don't know what the future holds for him and his partner, but I pray that it will be happier than ours. Not that I'm not glad I'm still alive in some sense," he reassured Dumbledore in a softer tone. "I just sometimes get tired of having feathers instead of skin. Especially when I still want you so much." Tears caught in Dumbledore's eyes and he let out a shaky breath.

"I know, my love. Me, too. Me, too." They stayed that way for a long moment, Fawkes' bright, wide-spread wing cupping the back on Dumbledore's silver hair, Dumbledore's face buried in his scarlet breast. As they sat there, they both worried about the young boy they had grown so fond of and hoped that somehow, no matter how much the odds may be tipped against it, that all would go well.