1

Kaoru looked over to Kenshin in a somewhat saddened way. As he surveyed their surroundings she watched him with depression creeping in and a thorn shoving a little bit deeper into a small crack in her already bruised heart. She wrapped her arms securely around her waist and looked towards the horizon. She noticed the day which she thought would be so long and crappy was coming to an end. If she had known how late it was back in the cave she might have never kissed Kenshin, she would have been glad to run out of the cave and not look back. But now she felt horrible, and the warmth from her stomach had fled as soon as she stepped into the light.

'This is why I never wanted to find anyone...this is why I hate relationships...and I don't even have one with Kenshin.' She thought. She hung her head as she felt like the heavy wet mist was pertinently clinging to her thin form. She couldn't shake this feeling even though the mist had settled and the sun had finally broke through in time to make the dew covered grass shine before it set. Kaoru bit the inside of her cheek trying to keep her mind on the pain of her own teeth gripping her flesh so she wouldn't feel the pain of her heart.

'Why did I even think someone as great as him would like a scrawny girl like me? He obviously doesn't like me or my kissing.' Kaoru thought trying to keep her thoughts to a minimum. She didn't even want to listen to herself anymore. Out of all the people in the whole world god decided to make her the one with the lowest self-esteem. She could beat any girl in picking herself apart. She was worse than teen magazines, fat girls watching beauty pageants, and even the popular girls in high school who stand around developing anorexia.

She stood there standing on the green grass her head cast down in an angrily depressed manner. The sun was glowing brightly as it drooped down to the crust of the earth. Its rays were twisting and turning into magnificent colors lighting the sky like a 4 year olds water color paint set. Kaoru didn't even want to look up to see it set, she already knew what it looked like and she had seen it set with several different men at her side.

Each time it made her feel a different way:

Love

Loyalty

Yearning

Desire

This one was different. She didn't feel any of that, she just wanted it all to go away. She wanted this day to end, the sun to go down, Kenshin to take her home and a large tub of chocolate ice-cream and a friendly visit form Misao. At this point she would even take Megumi. This whole time Kenshin just stood there, occasionally glancing at her.

He felt bad for ruining the moment but he couldn't let her interfere. Every time he looked over at her he saw the disappointment hidden in her eyes. Though he had to look hard he could see it. He could also tell she had felt this way several times before since she hid her emotions buried in a flood of fake boredom. He could see the anger at herself and the regret. But he could also see the longing that he figured she didn't even know she felt.

He wanted so bad to just lift her head to look him in the eyes so he could tell her everything was ok, that he didn't mean to hurt her and that she would be happy and safe again. But he couldn't even do that. He felt his own eyes cast towards the wet ground as he began to shuffle his way towards the road. "Let's go." he said weakly. He could hear her feet kick into walking motion but he knew her eyes stayed fixed upon the ground her head bent away from him and her muscles straining to run away.

He could feel her energy pulling out and away from him as if he were a dead skunk. He now remembered the thoughts that crossed his mind before he had kissed her earlier. He thought that they would walk out the cave with a clear conscience, if anything having already forgotten the kiss. How wrong he was. But Kenshin was still positive his decision was the right one because work mixed with pleasure only equals unemployment.

They walked in uncomfortable silence through the mushy grass. With each step they sank further into the ground but neither seemed to care. She stepped over a few twigs and tried her hardest to find something interesting in the dank field they were trudging through. When nothing sparked her interest she resorted to counting the stars that popped up in the sky. As she watched the sky turn from a light grey color to a dark blue she wondered how long it would take to get home.

Neither of them had cars thanks to Sano and Megumi, and she wasn't quite sure were she was. The events of the day all filtered down to this disappointing moment of utter confusion and resentment. The twinkling stars began to poke themselves through the thick blanket of midnight blue that covered this section of the sphere. Surprisingly this busied her mind for a while until the peaceful silence of the field was broken by a rumbling. She knew it was only thunder and that it wouldn't rain again. The sky had rained itself out and nothing was left up in that beautiful blue but air.

She knew it was just empty sound. The voice of a heart crying out for love but never getting it wish, always having to wait for it to come up to the heavens. "There's Orion." Kaoru stated flatly even though she was highly interested in it. She loved that constellation. Ever since she could memorize the shape of the hunting man she loved to point him out of a clear night like this. She didn't really mean to let that sentence slip, it was more of a habit. She told anyone in hearing distance were it was at night time.

Kenshin nodded searching the sky for what she was talking about. Kaoru didn't point it out she just told him she saw it. Kenshin spotted the big dipper and told her so. For a few minutes they pointed out the few constellations that always stuck into their minds until they ran out of groups of stars. A lapse of silence fell before Kaorus mouth began to move again. She wasn't paying attention to what she said anymore because she didn't want to feel anything. She wanted to be numb all over. She would rather never feel anything again than have to deal with this feeling of self hate and regret one more time.

But for the heck of it she seized control of her body and thoughts once more to process what had just come out of her mouth and what was still spewing profusely from her lips. "Kenshin," She heard herself say. "Why did you stop? Is there something wrong with me? I mean, I was fine with it for once, and I wouldn't have cared if we sat there for the rest of the week. I haven't felt this way in a long time and I never thought I would...maybe you just don't want this." She said trailing off into a small whisper.

She could feel tears knocking at the back of her eyes and she couldn't take this feeling much longer. She felt strain, like her heart was going to explode leaving her dying form in the hands of Kenshin. She wanted to bolt, and it took great strength to keep her legs at the slow rate they were going. She forced herself to continue to walk next to the man who was hurting her. It felt like time had stopped to her for the longest time until Kenshin finally broke the trance she seemed to be in.

"Kaoru, I cant. I work for the Mafia and I am hired to protect you from a crazy man who would kill anyone to get what he wants. I've already gotten to close to you, if I got any further I...I just, I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you." He said stopping her by seizing her by the shoulders. He squeezed them a bit to hard but Kaoru could bear through it to hear his reasoning. Maybe, just maybe he might pound enough sense into her mind to keep her from going crazy.

"I need you to stop seducing me." Kenshin said trying his hand at humor but finding this to be a very not funny environment. "I can't do my job and have a lover at the same time. Working in the Mafia only allows one night stands, or other mafia related people. I couldn't just take you away from your job and friends, rip out from your life so I could keep you in hiding for the rest of it. It cant be done. Besides," Kenshin said wrapping one hand around the bottom of her chin and lifted her head so her eyes met his.

"The world needs to see your pretty face." Kenshin said releasing a wisp of emotion into his calm eyes. It was like a flash of his inner workings that only Kaoru could see. She saw chaos, worry, regret, need, lust, depression, and anger wrapped into one glance. It was like he allowed her to taste his feelings for a split second then returned to his normal state. Though the pain washed over her body like the waves of the ocean she could tell he had been feeling the same.

In that one glace he said more than she needed to know. Kenshin released her and began to walk again. Kaoru wasn't ready to walk, she didn't think she could do anything at this moment. Her legs felt like spaghetti, to thin and brittle to walk on even when uncooked. Her whole being was shaking on the inside. She wasn't cold, but a icy shiver crawled up her spine leaving her frame work a shaking mess.

She made her legs move, even though she had to rip her feet from the squishy floor every step. She remained several steps behind him, supervising her feet so they didn't stop. They walked silently until they reached the highway. "There you are. We've been waiting for a long time." Sano said.

Him and Megumi were sitting in Kenshins car smiling at them. "I didn't know you could go that long." Megumi said. After a few seconds Kaoru realized what she had meant and her face reddened.

"It was nothing like that." Kenshin said lying through his teeth. All four of them could tell Kenshin had tried something but they remained silent, only some giggling from megumi and a smirk from Sano. Kaoru felt disgusted and dirty. She felt the need to take a shower...now. She walked towards a second car that was empty, resting next to Sano's. She jumped into it and turned the ignition.

"Get in the car Kenshin." Kaoru said in a quiet forceful tone. Kenshin decided to stay on her good side compared to Sano and Megumi at the moment. He walked briskly towards the car she was in aware of the couple watching his every move.

"I know who wears the pants in this relationship." Megumi whispered loudly into Sano's ear. Sano laughed and nodded as they both continued to watch Kenshin walk towards the car quicker. Kaoru turned her head quickly and shot Megumi the most venomous glare she had ever given as she spat out;

"Shut up!" Megumi shrunk back into Sanos chest afraid that Kaoru might jump out of the car and attack her. Megumi instinctively enclosed her arms firmly around Sano's waist and his arm snaked around her shoulders. Megumi smuggled her head into his chest and glanced arrogantly at Kaoru her eyes laughing. She knew Kaoru wanted to do the same thing with Kenshin but told herself she didn't. Kaoru has been in denial for years.

Kaoru couldn't help but release a nauseated look towards the couple. As Kenshin slid in next to her she stepped hard on the gas petal before he could even shut the door. The engine throbbed and pushed the wheels forward. The car lurched into action and rolled quickly away form the spot. Soon they were bumping down the deserted road with corn fields on either side. The wind whipped at her face harshly.

Her hair blew around her face and lightly smacked Kenshin. The radio thumped in the background but all she could hear was the wind colliding with her ear. She quickly put on a pair of black plain sunglasses so she could keep her eyes open. The wind was hitting her so hard she was having trouble breathing but she loved it. Though she was angry and severely hurt she couldn't help but love the feeling of the top down.

It always reminded her of motor cycles which always tended to lead to her remembrance of Enishi. Though it only reminded her of good times, for once in her life she remembered something pleasant, a memory she would like to visit.

It was a while ago, she couldn't quite remember when but the memory was vivid. They were riding along on a road through a forest. The wind ran through her hair that was partly tucked under her black helmet. She gripped tightly to Enishi smelling his masculine cologne. She could see her smiling face in his shining helmet.

She felt as if she could fly, as if at any moment she would lift into the sky and take off like superman. The only thing that seemed to be keeping her on the ground was her arms gripped tightly around Enishi's waist. The air encircled her entire body outlining her curves blowing through her. The bike slowed down and they came to a stop despite her groaning. As she dismounted the bike she turned around to find a beautiful clear blue waterfall.

They spent that night staring up at the stars on a rock near the falls as light specks of water slowly soaked their clothes. That was the night Enishi told her he loved her for the first time. Often that particular memory plagued her dreams on lonely nights. Many times she had woken up from that delightful dream to her lonely world of quiet bachelorette life.

She always ended up making a late night visits to Sano for advise.

"Kaoru...KAORU!" Kenshin yelled looked frantically form her to the road.

"WHAT?" Kaoru asked angrily looking at Kenshin.

"Curb" He yelled pointing at the curb they were running over. Kaoru quickly looked up And swerved the car back onto the road. She decided to stay in the present instead of remembering the past while driving. She wasn't sure were she was driving but she didn't want to ask Kenshin for fear of an awkward situation. She stared strait ahead not wanting to even move.

They arrived home shortly and Kaoru ran quickly down to her room in the basement. She closed the door and hoped into the bed face first. She picked up the phone and dialed Misao's number and brought it to her ear. She listened to the phone ring endlessly until finally Misao picked up.

"Hello?" Misao called from the other line but all the noise she received was the sound of muffled sniffles.

"Kaoru what happened? KAORU! Its so nice to talk to you even if you are crying. Were are you? Im coming over." Misao asked.

"Im at Kenshins..." Kaoru said slowly through the bed. Misao didn't even have to ask and before Kaoru knew it she could hear her car pulling up.

"Damn" Kaoru yelled and ran through the same back door she had found in her closet and through the garage. She opened the garage door just in time to find Misao walking up to ring the door bell.

"Pssssst! Misao! Over here. Kenshin can't know you're here." Kaoru said in a loud whisper. When she got her attention she waved for her to come into the garage and she led Misao through the same corridor. Kaoru walked her through the closet and closed the door. She hoped onto the bed once more to hide her hideously red puffy face.

"Misao..." Kaoru cried out in agony. "Why is he doing this?" She asked rolling her head to the side to look at Misao who was examining her room. She was looking at it in a whimsical kind of way and was walking around touching everything.

"Misao! Your such a little kid." Kaoru scolded in a half hearted way. She laughed at her best friend who just blushed as she turned around to look at Kaoru. She walked towards her and put her hand on her head as she sat down on the floor so she was eye level with Kaoru.

"Kaoru, you need to let it all out. Cry as much as you want and once your done I want you to tell me what happened." Misao said in a motherly, I-am-right kind of way. Kaoru smiled as clear tears began to roll down her face once more. Through her smile you could see the agony, the hurt tearing away at her.

"I just...and he, we could have just. Why are men so selfish?" Kaoru yelled as loud as she could with out brining any attention from Kenshin. Misao only nodded and motioned for Kaoru to continue. Her mouth felt sticky and her nose wouldn't stop running.

Misao brought her some tissues and she blew her nose several times before she was satisfied. Her face was burning and her breath was staggered and uneven. She curled up brining her feet towards her head in a ball shape. She took a very deep breath and released it trying to control her tears which wouldn't stop falling. The bed beneath her head was beginning to become increasingly wet and uncomfortable.

"Well, I guess I should start at the beginning..." Kaoru said as she took another breath for emphasis. She began the story beginning to end. Once she was finished she lay there on her back staring at the ceiling feeling better that someone else knew but feeling worse by reliving the moment.

"Kaoru you got yourself in deep with this one." Misao said preparing to help her with her situation. "Well, I know you need some ice-cream." Misao said smiling. Kaoru matched her smile and stood up reluctantly. She began to walk out of the room but turned around quickly.

"You cant come with, don't make any noise, Kenshin has excellent hearing. Don't touch anything or break anything or try on any of my clothes. Don't steal anything or do anything I would do. Got that?" Kaoru asked her pointing her finger at her sternly like she always used to. Even when in a situation of this importance she could still ruin Misao's fun. Misao nodded solemnly as Kaoru left for ice-cream.

When she returned she had two canisters of rocky road ice-cream that she had to use her most sneakiest of sneaky skills to get. She tossed one to Misao who was sitting quietly on the end of the bed with her hands folded in innocence. "You touched something..." Kaoru said as Misao caught it.

"Well, it looked so shiny and I couldn't resist." Misao said pulling out a small box from under the bed. Kaoru picked it up and opened it. She was surprised to find the most stunning emerald plastered on a golden band. She had seen this ring before somewhere. But she couldn't tell were.

"Misao...this is the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on." Kaoru said in such a hushed honest voice that Misao jumped up happily.

"Really? So you aren't mad?" Misao asked and Kaoru looked up.

"No." She whispered. "But I want to know were you found it." Kaoru said looking around. "I've never seen it before...I mean I have but not in this room, but I don't know were I've seen it before. Im not making any sense." Kaoru said quickly. Misao pointed to the bottom drawer of a large cabinet. Kaoru had never even been through it, she figured it was Kenshins stuff so she shouldn't touch it.

Of course now is as good a time than ever to raid his things. Isn't it nice how your conscience seems to disappear when your mad at someone? Kaoru watched as Misao opened up the drawer with no regrets and began to search carefully through it. Kaoru looked back down at the jewel finding it to change in color texture and overall appearance every time she looked at it. It was absolutely magnificent.

Kaoru rubbed the plush velvet inside of the box as she stared lovingly at the ring. Surprisingly the cloth moved in and out as if the back of it were removable. Kaoru looked at the rim of the box and found that it had two compartments. She lifted the top away and found the other space to hold a small piece of paper. There was hand writing on it. Kaoru could hear Misao talking but this was so interesting she couldn't help but ignore her. The writing said as follows:

My dearest Tomoe,

I love you more than words can express.

I hope this token of my love deems me worthy to be your husband.

Forever and always,

Kenshin

Kaorus heart stopped, her blood froze in her veins and her brain went numb. All at once her world stopped everything was frozen and all she could feel was the growing pulse of pain arising in every inch of her being.

'Kenshin was...engaged?' Kaoru's brain whispered to her. And with that her mind flooded with thoughts and questions and everything was thrown into fast forward to make up for the lost moment. Her blood began to rush through her veins so quickly she thought she would burst from the pressure and her heart beat so quickly she felt like she was on drugs.

Misao was talking so fast and Kaorus body was feeling so weak that the only thing she felt she could do to escape this horrible feeling surging through her was to succumb to the darkness.

Kaorus eyes slowly fluttered open to see white surrounding her. She opened her eyes wide as she looked around quickly whipping her head from left to right. She rapidly brought her hand to her aching head as the pain caught up with her now wake form. Her vision seemed to still be shaking even after her head stopped and the bright florescent lights blinded her.

She could smell the cleanliness and see that just about everything in the room was white. Her mouth still tasted like she had been crying so she knew she couldn't have been out for to long. Her eyes began to focus more as the fuzzy shapes were now becoming more distinguished. She could now tell she was in a hospital bed. She looked down at her hand and slowly turned her head away as she saw an IV placed under her skin into her vein.

Though it didn't hurt she had such a phobia of needles that her mind imagined the pain and the feeling of the foreign object under her skin. She searched her now clear room to find everything was the same as the last time she had been to the hospital. There was her bed she was lying in, and a small round table with a lamp in the corner. A window, and a few chairs spread across the room, all facing her bed with Misao, Kenshin, Sano, Megumi, Aoshi, and Soujiro sprawled out on them.

Kaoru was touched to see all six of her best friends lying asleep in the uncomfortable chairs of the hospital. Neither of them moved but all of them were breathing heavily in a deep sleep. She wanted desperately to run from this hospital, to jump out the window and feel the surge of adrenaline rush through her as she jolted out of this bed. However, running free from the hospital would involve taking the painful IV out of her skin by herself and for this brain numbing headache to fade away. So all Kaoru could do was sit there silently in her bed and wait for a nurse or someone to tell her what to do.

She sat in the bed for quite some time before One of her friends groggily awoke from their deep yet shallow slumber. Her bright sea green eyes lifted from the ground to Kaoru then she closed her eyes once more. Kaoru could see the lines of worry slowly fade as the signs of recognition began to etch into her face as she opened her yes once more. She peered at Kaoru as if she were an alien then jumped out of her seat now fully animated.

She was so happy she couldn't speak, she just kept opening and closing her mouth like a fish. Misao's bright green eyes shined with joy as she gazed upon her drugged up injured friend. "Kaoru You're a-" Misao began before Kaoru held up one of her hands in silence as she pointed around the room. Misao looked around and shrugged as she walked brickly over to were Kaoru was sitting.

Misao kneeled on the floor next to her, her head were Kaoru's hand was. "Your awake, your awake!" Misao whispered happily and energetically. You could have never guessed this girl had just been asleep.

"Misao I know your excited for whatever reason, But I need you to keep it down. I want to know everything that has happened before anyone else wakes up. I don't want to be lied to because I know you'll tell me the truth but everyone else will sugar coat the truth. Tell me what happened." Kaoru demanded in a small but forceful voice. Misao's bouncy attitude suddenly turned somber with this heavy load and she closed her eyes in accepting.

"Well, you passed out after you read that note..." Misao said trailing off a bit to give Kaoru time to remember. The memory of before her black out came back and her eyes filled with salty tears that stung her eyes. Kaoru nodded and Misao continued.

"I head you drop so I looked up and saw you had hit your head on the side of the bed and...well lets say you got the carpet bloody." Misao said wincing at the remembrance of her best friends blood staining the carpet. Kaoru brought her hand o her head in comparison and nodded for her to continue once more.

"So I quickly ran to you and looked to see your cut was pretty bad. I quickly pried the jewelry bow and its contents from your hands quickly read the note to see if it had caused your black out. I tried to wake you up but you wouldn't respond. So I quickly hid the jewel and ran upstairs to find Kenshin. I told him to call 911 and I went back down stairs to make sure you were ok. I took a towel and wrapped your head and applied pressure to make sure the bleeding wouldn't be that bad."

"The paramedics came and I had to ride in the car with Kenshin and it was tough especially knowing he was the man who gave you so much trouble and he was the real reason you passed out. So I told him that you tripped and hit your head and wouldn't respond. The doctors said you were fine but there was a chance you might have memory loss or might not wake up for a while." Misao said the last sentence sounding very solemn. Misao was really upset.

"How long was I out?" Kaoru asked quickly.

"Not long. Only a few hours." Misao said wearily. She looked behind her at all of the people closest to her and Kaoru. "Every one came. As soon as I called one of them they all were here." Misao said smiling. She turned back around and smiled at Kaoru then hugged her lightly.

"I know you don't want anyone, and I know it would be easier for you if you could just rest for a while. But the nurse insisted that she be called as soon as you woke up. How long have you been awake?" Misao asked in her same friendly tone but it had an added push to it, a certain strictness.

"Only about twenty minuets." Kaoru said lying. She had been awake for about a half an hour but she didn't want Misao to feel guilty. Misao smiled and pressed a round green button on the wall next to Kaoru's bed. It was labeled 'Nurse' and one came it shortly.

She was a tall woman with naturally blonde hair and green eyes. She had on the white nurses outfit and had a name tag that read Cindy. Kaoru could see a weariness and determination about this woman. She seemed nice but appearances could be deceiving. She walked in smoothly and looked at Kaoru.

"How long has she been awake?" Cindy said in a lower toned voice that didn't seem to match her looks. Cindy asked Misao as if Kaoru was just an animal that couldn't speak for herself.

"Twenty minutes." Misao said in a loud but hushed manner so the others wouldn't wake up. Kaoru looked at Misao as if Cindy were crazy when she walked around to check on the machines. Misao just shrugged and watched the woman.

"How does she feel?" Cindy asked Misao loudly with out even looking at her but monitoring the machines. Kaoru coughed a bit and stared harshly at Cindy who just turned her head quickly her long strait blonde hair whipping around her head to glare at Kaoru then looked at Misao waiting for an answer.

"Ask Her." Misao said quietly half sounding like she didn't like were this was going and half trying to hint to Cindy to shut her loud yapper because her friends were asleep too. Cindy ignored this and looked at Kaoru who tried her best to keep a scowl off her face.

"How are you feeling?" She asked in a forced manner.

"My IV is killing me and my head hurts bad." Kaoru said the pain causing her speech to be insufficient. She couldn't think of a better adjective than bad and she honestly didn't care. Cindy seemed to laugh shortly at her then coughed quietly and continued to write on her purple clip board.

"Honey, your IV can't hurt, its not attached to your body." Cindy said emphasizing the word not. Kaoru hated being called honey by anyone but her father and her head hurt way to much to be dealing with witches like this.

"Listen. Im a patient, you're the nurse. My head hurts, you have the drugs to make it feel better. Your being a bitch and im trying my hardest not to get upset but this head ache and this lack of drugs is making me irritable. Now give me some god damned drugs or get out of my face hon" Kaoru spat a little louder than she meant to adding hon at the end just to add insult to injury.

Cindy looked like she was about to fight back her eyes matching the fierceness of Kaorus but Kaorus's doctor walked in and laid his hand on her shoulder. "Cindy maybe you should go help with old man Jenkins down the hall." He said in a sultry deep voice with a thick British accent.

His tall and statue like figure stood in the door way so Kaorus could measure that he was a tall man. He had rugged good looks and brown hair with dark blue eyes that held a light feeling to them. His face was square and he looked as if he hadn't shaven in a couple of days giving him stubble. His hair was short and spiky and he looked to be a very fit man. He walked into her room and both Kaorus and Misao froze. He wiped the icy stare right off of Kaorus's face and kept her staring at him for far too long.