So I guess something has been up with the site as of late, but luckily all is well now-I really wanted to write this chapter. Because as much as I love Derek, as much as I want he and Meredith together-he needs to suffer. Okay, I know how bad that sounds. But what I'm saying, is he needs to be honest with himself before anyone else. And both Addison and Meredith deserve something better than what they've been getting lately. So yeah-this chapter may be kinda depressing.

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(Derek's POV)

I left the trailer with no clear destination in mind. Meredith had called. She wanted me to come over, to talk things through. But I couldn't. Atleast not yet. I had told Addison the truth about what happened, and it had nearly killed me.

She looked at me, so hurt. So-sad. I don't remember the last time she looked at me any different, really.

But the truth needed to be told. She didn't need me anymore. I didn't know if she's head back to New York or if she'd stay in Seattle at that moment.

I stopped at the stoplight, watching the the rain drops pelt my windshield. The red glow coming from the light cast a shadow across the car, causing a certain eerieness. I had the radio on, and a song from The Clash was playing-but I wasn't paying much attention. I wasn't any good to Meredith or Addison right now. Because I didn't know what I felt. I needed to get my thoughts in order before anything else happened.

Somehow, by fate or by some sort of subconcious decision, I wound up back at the hospital. I sat in the car, debating on going inside. The engine had been turned off for several minutes now, just the lull of the rain and the sound of my own breathing. I decided to go see Burke. I atleast owed him that much, being there.

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(Addison's POV)

Derek had left hurriedly. I didn't know if I'd see him again that night, if ever, really. I sat cross legged on the bed, making sure everything was in my suitcase. I wasn't leaving everything, but I knew that I couldn't spend another night in the trailer. It reminded me too much of him, of us.

My eyes fell on my cell phone. Going through my phone book, I contemplated calling Mark. I hated admitting it, but in a crazy way, I missed hearing his voice. But I knew that if I were to call him now, he'd sense something was wrong, and he'd come running. And that alone would be an "I told you so."

Picking the suitcase off of the bed, I took one last look around. It wasn't until then did I realize that I wasn't sure where I'd stay-I just couldn't stay there. I hate knowing that Mark was right, that our marriage was over.

It wasn't that I didn't love Derek. Because I guess a part of me still did. But Seattle just wasn't for me anymore.

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(Meredith's POV)

It was late that night, but I couldn't sleep. George was upstairs with Izzie, which left me on the couch. The lights were out and the pale glow from the TV seemed to reach out to me.

I was half asleep when I heard a knock on the door. Getting up, I saw who was at the door.

"Addison?"I asked, not sure if I should regret it.

She stood all regally, looking somewhat shaken, but still standing tall. She seemed greatful about the fact that I answered the door.

"Could I come in?I know it's late-so I won't stay too long"

I open the door further, letting Addison in. Something about the look on her face, almost one of sadness coupled with shock-I'm scared to ask. Shutting the door, I look towards her.

"I'm sorry...for coming this late."She says, seemingly trying to keep calm.

"It's fine.Are you okay?"

''Derek and I are over."Addison said, laughing a little. "I don't even know why I came here."

"No.Addison-"I say, not sure what I would say. "You're upset.It's fine."

"No, it's not.He told me."

"I'm sorry-"I say, clamoring for excuses.

"Please-"She says, tired of excuses. "I don't want excuses.The truth is he'll probably be here soon.So I wanted to warn you.I know it wasn't planned...most of the time it never is.But I asked you-"

"I was telling the truth.At the time-I told you the truth. Addison, I never meant for that to happen.I didn't want that to happen...atleast not the way it did.I made a mess of things, You two love each other and I came in, screwing that all up.If anyone's to blaim here, it's-"

"Derek."Addison says, cutting me off. It was then that Iooked at her, and I was surprised-there wasn't any anger there. Rather-it was more of acceptance.

"What?"

"He lied to me about you.He lied to you about me...granted, both of us are to blaim, too.I should hate you...or have a grudge.Something..."Addison says, as if that would solve everything.

''You don't?"

"There was a time when I did.Not too long ago, actually. I came here thinking I'd make some big talk about how you and Derek chose without even thinking about me.But Meredith?Derek loves you.I don't know if you've noticed...or even if you care.But he does.And..."Staring at me, she shrugged.

"I don't know what else to say.I'd like to think that when I leave-"

"You're leaving?"I ask, watching the expression on her face. I'm not sure if I should be surprised or relieved-I know that sounds bad.

"Not yet.But I probably will. We work in a hospital-it's a small world and I can't take the risk of running into him again. I'm not running away from my problems.I know that's what you're thinking. But if you do anything-wait."Addison says that as if it were easy.

I should be asking her to leave. I should be telling her all the reasons why instead of me ruining her life she was the one who came in and ruined mine-but I can't.

"Addison...I'm sorry.I know that's not enough.But I-"I stop. There were no words for now, were there?

"Look...Derek-he's complciated.I know you know that.But..."She bites her lip and it occurs to me-all the times I've seen her-the hospital or otherwise-I've never seen her like this. She's not giving up, but she's just backing away. Addison nervous is enough to make anyone that way.

"Just be careful.I know that you don't want to hear this from me-but he's still confused.He's still got to get things together. I wanted to make sure...I wanted to see for myself that it was really over. I got what I came here for...it's time to move on."

"You don't have to leave.What happened at Prom...that was my fault.I let him..."

"Stop making excuses, Meredith.Okay?I know what happened.It was partially my fault.If I had just signed the divorce papers in the first place...I would have been out of your life.What happened would never have been considered 'bad'.But it did happen the way it did.And there's nothing we can do to change that.''

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(Derek's POV)

I left Burke's room early-he'd been sleeping. But he woke up just long enough to realize that I was there.

Instead, I drove further way. I went to see the ferry boats. I'm not really sure why. But standing there watching them, I wondered what would happen-had I actually signed the papers when Addison handed them to me.Had I just signed them-we wouldn't be in this position right now.

Nobody's moving. It's just silent except for the sound of my own breathing. I'm about to leave when I hear my cellphone ringing again. I think it's Meredith until I stare at the screen.

"Look, Addison-I'm sorry.Okay.And for the record...I didn't run to see Meredith.I'm sorry I left the way I did.But I just needed to think."

"I Understand."She says, seemingly upset. I hear the sound of an engine coming from her end of the line.

"Where are you?You left?"

"Not yet."Addison says, a sound of finality in her voice. "I left my key under the mat.Just be sure to pick it up when you get back."

I'm not sure how to answer her. "So...you're leaving?Addy, we need to talk."

"I'm done talking, Derek."She spits out my name as if it's poisonous, as if it'll be the last time she'll sayit.

"I'm done talking...I'm done trying to work things out.I left the papers-signed on the table.We just aren't working.I'm the one who can accept that.I'm the one who's leaving.'

Speechless. That pretty much describes it. I slept with Meredith. I know I did. I'm still debating wether or not I regret it. But just like that she leaves?

"Goodbye, Derek.I hope that you find what you were looking for. She deserves better, you know.I won't be around to get in your way."Addison still seems to be on the phone, as if to wait and hear what I have to say.

Is she defending Meredith?

"Addison..."

"It's done.I'm done.If you see me at Seattle Grace tomorrow...look the other way.Okay?I'll be leaving Seattle soon but until then...as far as I'm concerned-we're over.I can't live like this anymore."

With that, I hear the dial tone.She's gone. Not just waiting to see. Not sitting around, playing with the possibility. Addison's leaving. I should feel free. I should be happy. I should be feeling and thinking about all the things I can do now.

But instead, I feel something else. Not dread-or even sadness. A sense of finality. Addison was right, though. Meredith does deserve better. Maybe in time I'll get a better sense of where I'm at. But until then, I head home. And for the first time in months-Addison won't be there.

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A/N-Okay, so I haven't decided if that's the end or not. I was going to have Addison just leave, you know...but maybe not. I tried thinking through a big, angsty like scene between Mer and Addy-I just couldn't do it. Do you think I should continue?If you do, what should happen?

Anyway...R&R!