Beyond Degrassi

Part 3: Obsession, It's Not Always Happy and Fun

Paige walked into class late, again. She carried a binder with papers sticking out of it in ever which direction, as if she had closed it in a rush. The Professor didn't question her late entrance. For the past month she had been sparatic in her appearances. She sat down and tossed her bag into the floor, gaining a few dirty looks from people neat her seat. She tried to gather a pen and blank piece of paper to take notes with, but everything was disorganized. By the time she was ready to take the notes everyone was getting up and heading out of the classroom, and the chalk board was being erased.

"Miss Michalchuk, do you have that report on Capital Intensity for me today?" The professor asked after she had finished with the board. She began to pack up her teaching supplies.

"Um... I..." Paige tried to breath, this was the third time she had been reminded about the late paper and still she somehow completely spaced it. "I had it. But..."

"Paige, this isn't like you. Is there some kind of circumstance? I want to give you more time on this, but I just can't unless you tell me what is going on." The teacher really did want Paige to succeed, she knew she was a smart young woman with a lot of ambition. The last few weeks however, she was not acting it, and it was disconcerting.

Paige tried to form words to explain that she had just forgotten. She tried to find a way to say she couldn't keep her mind on her work. Nothing came out. She was moving her mouth, but no words escaped.

"I'm worried about you, Michalchuk. You haven't been yourself. You show up late to class, when you show up to class at all. You haven't turned in the last 4 assignments, and you aren't keeping up with your textbook."

"I know." Paige said quickly out of the side of her mouth. She swallowed hard and diverted her eyes.

"So, what's causing it? I don't want to have to flunk you Paige. You will loose your scholarship, and that is not something any of us likes to see." The Professor zipped up her briefcase, obviously flustered by Paige's reluctance to share whatever was dragging her down.

"Oh no. no, no, no." Paige pleaded, "Please don't do that. I'll remember, I'll get everything turned in, and it will be absolutely perfect. I promise." She could feel her eyes flooding again, she felt like such a joke, such a failure. She was loosing everything. Everyone was laughing at Paige Michalchuk, she could hear it in her head.

"I'm sure it will be, but this is the third time you have told me that. I need a reason to extend your due date."

"I have no good reason, Mrs. Griffin." Paige whimpered, "I really wish I did, I want to give you one. I really do. I'm just... distracted."

"Distracted? That seems to be an under statement." Mrs. Griffin sighed, "You have until Monday to get me that paper, or not. If you don't, I'm afraid there is no way you will be able to save your grade."

Paige nodded absently, then quickly wandered down the hall. She had other classes she was suppose to attend, but since her grade was in peril... she figured she'd just go to her room and start on the over due paper. Once she got to her room and opened up the word processor her mind went blank. She typed,

Capital Intensity

Why can't I think about anything else? You've taken over my mind. This is Capital Intensity. I know you have nothing to do with the market, and labor and higher wages, but who cares about all this crap? Is capital intensity really what's important? No. It's not. I'm messing everything up, and it's all you're fault Alex. Where are you? Where the hell are you?

"Damn it Alex." Paige said aloud and then erased everything she just wrote.

"Who is this Alex anyway?" A female voice asked from across the room. Her room mate was in, and she hadn't even noticed. Her room mate never slept in their room, she seemed to use her area as more of a storage place than anything. Paige didn't really know her, but from the little time they had spent together, she didn't really like her.

"Alex, um, she's uh." Paige tried to think of what to explain Alex as to the nosy girl.

"Is Alex the reason some people seem to think you're a lesbian?" Jackie Fairfield, her room mate and student of little accomplishment, assumed aloud. This girl seemed to know everyone's gossip, it was one of the more obnoxious bits of her personality.

Paige licked her lips nervously, "I guess so."

"Also the reason you've been completely loosing it? Cause, if you haven't seen yourself lately... you really need to look in the mirror." The girl gestured at their vanity table.

"I'm not loosing it." Paige said rather offended. She knew things were just a little messed up right now, but as soon as she found out why Alex was in Kingston she would be fine. She just needed to know it wasn't for her, or that it was. She needed to know, that's all.

"Could of fooled me." Jackie laughed.

"Don't laugh at me." Paige snapped, "It's not funny. This isn't funny."

"Sorry, eh." She apologized but not sincerely, "just thought maybe you should go find this Alex, and take care of whatever got knocked loose when you and Robert broke up, 'cause you seriously look wrecked."

"I've tried." Paige huffed, then explained "The club owner said her boyfriend quit, and Alex hasn't really been in since then. She isn't listed in the phone book. How else am I suppose to find her? Do you have any ideas little miss sticking her nose where it doesn't belong?"

"Hey, back off" Jackie frowned, obviously hurt by that last staement "Forget I said anything, alright?"

Paige looked back to her computer screen, she wished she knew how to find Alex. For now, she had to find a way to write this stupid economics paper even without her answers. She began typing again.

Down town a couple days later...

"Are you sure Sparx? I'm really not that good. What if I screw something up?" Alex was worried. Sparx just informed her that he was leaving her in charge of the shop for the next few hours. She always had someone watching over her when she did her work, what of she messed up on a customer?

"If you screw up, then just let them have the tattoo free. Tell them that another artist can fix it another day." Sparx said in his gruff voice, "And that's if you even get any customers today. It's been slow as all hell. I'll be back to close up shop, so don't you worry Sweetie-pie, everythin' is gonna be okay"

"Right." Alex nodded, "Only a few hours anyway, I should be fine. Yeah." She tried to reassure herself as she watched Sparx leave. She really liked this job, she would hate to loose it over something so stupid. The first hour was completely dead. With the boredom of no one to talk to, she made a game out of crumpling up paper and tossing it across the room into the trash can.

Then a small group of University girls walked in. She despised University students, because none of them were ever Paige. She was anxiously awaiting the day Paige would come in with her University friends. Then she could really talk to her, unlike that night at the Club. She had been foolish to not stay longer. To not hear Paige's side about "Robert". Now it was as if she hadn't seen her at all, and that was just depressing.

"What can I do for ya?" Alex said a little ruder than a Customer Service person ever should.

"Do you have any openings?" The tallest girl asked.

"Depends, what did you want done?" Alex slouched against the counter and raised her eye brows in question.

"I wanted a name, on my shoulder blade." The girl held her finders about a half an inch apart "About this big."

Alex pulled a book of fonts out from under the counter and tossed it down in front of the girl. "Pick one, what's the name?"

"Dani" The girl smiled. One of the other girls blushed. It wasn't hard to tell, Alex had a couple of University lesbians in her presence. Her attitude towards the customers changed visibly. The girl picked a cursive font.

"Yeah, easy enough. It'll be $80" Alex smiled, and pulled out a wavier for the girl to sign. She took the signed form, and the font book into the back room to draw up the transfer.

She concentrated on the tattoo, and was careful to not make a stupid mistake. If getting a name permanently tattooed on your body wasn't a mistake on it's own account. She knew Jay had a tattoo with her name on his chest. That tattoo had been a mistake for Jay, Alex just wasn't his girl. She wondered if Paige would have ever considered getting one. Alex would have proudly worn the name Paige, mistake or not, it was the name of her first true love. Man, she could be corny sometimes. She chuckled to herself as she finished up the tattoo.

"All done. Came out wonderful" Alex let the girl see it in the mirror before she put the gauze over the girl's fresh tattoo, "Almost makes me want to get one just like it."

"It looks great and it hardly hurt at all, I'm definitely coming back to you for my next one." The girl praised Alex as she stood up and pulled her shirt down over the gauze. "What's your name anyway?"

"I'm Alex Nunez, just an apprentice here" She smiled modestly, "I guess I could use some regular customers when I've got my own shop someday, though."

"Alex. Hey, this is kind of a weird question, but do you know a girl named Paige?" The girl asked offhandedly. She seemed to think Alex would say no, until she saw the expression Alex wasn't able to hide. A mischievous smirk grew on the girls face, "You do, don't you?"

"I knew a Paige" Alex answered lamely. Paige actually talked about her? Some random girl knew about Alex and Paige? Here she thought Paige was hiding that she and Alex ever had anything. She thought that Paige had just erased their past from her memory, and moved on.

"Well, I know a Paige too" The girl shrugged, "At least for now. I don't think she'll be my room mate for much longer, the way she's fucking up."

"Woah." Alex bit her lower lip, and asked the girl seriously "She isn't being ridiculed or anything? Is she?"

"Not really" The girl started to reach into her purse to give Alex the $80, she wanted to get out of here before she had to answer too many questions about the rude room mate she wasn't very fond of. Plus this girl was obviously not over Paige, all the insults that came to mind would only serve as bad air here.

"Don't worry about it, a friend of Paige's... it's on the house." Alex waved away the money, still curious beyond belief about Paige. "Why did you say she's fucking up?"

"Come on guys, we gotta get back." The girl said to her friends, then turned back to Alex "Interesting meeting you an all and thanks for the tat, seriously, but Paige's life isn't really my business. Maybe you should try asking her yourself. If you care about her at all, you will."

Alex was sitting on the counter staring at the wall clock when Sparx returned. She told him she hadn't had any customers, and asked if she could leave. He seemed to understand that she wasn't feeling well, by her mood. He let her go without question even though he knew she had just lied to him, about the lack of customers.

In her apartment she paced for hours. Most days she was able to get on without thinking of Paige more than a handful of times. For a couple weeks she had even managed to crush on a different girl, until she found out she had absolutely no chance. Tonight Paige was all she could think about. She had to talk to Paige, what if what Jay had done to Robert had ruined Paige's life?

Jay was gone now. He bailed on Alex, and left her with the shitty apartment. He called and left a message a couple days back, he said he was going back to Toronto. He hadn't been himself in months, he hadn't been angry or violent, and he had kept out of trouble for the most part. Then he just quit his job, and packed up his stuff. He said he wanted more out of life. He said that living with Alex, like this, was driving him insane. She wasn't happy, he wasn't happy, and it just wasn't working out for anyone. Typical male solution, just up and leave the woman with the rent. She had only stayed because she really liked Sparx, and the shop. It wasn't a bad job, even if the location was worthless.

She picked up her cell phone, a cheap thing she had picked up with her first paycheck. She sent a text to Paige's old number. IF Paige responded, she would call her. The ball was in Paige's court, All Alex had to do was wait. Patience was something she was getting very used to here in Kingston.