All that watching, all that protecting, all that love didn't mean anything.

She was dead. Marie was dead.

He still couldn't believe it, but now, standing in front of her head stone, things seeming somewhat surreal, Wolverine knew it was true.

He heard footsteps coming up from behind him but didn't bother to turn around. He knew who it was, the familiar smell drifting into his nostrils.

Scott.

The last person he wanted to see... Let alone smell.

"They said you came back." Wolverine said nothing. "I knew I would find you here."

He waited for him to leave but after several minutes he knew that wasn't going to happen. Wolverine whirled around, a snarl making its way on his face. He saw that time had changed Scott somewhat. His hair a little longer and although he still was wearing his ruby quartz glasses, Wolverine could actually see his eyes behind them quite clearly.

Sad eyes.

Wolverine also didn't fail to notice the wedding band that was still on his hand.

"How could you let this happen!" Wolverine shouted at him.

"There was nothing that could be done." Scott said defensively.

"She told Dr. McCoy she was having headaches due to the bracelet why didn't he check her out then?" Wolverine started clenching his fists trying hard not to hit him.

Scott answered his word hushed and confused. "She never told Henry anything of the kind"

Wolverine's snarl disappeared. But his anger remained.

"How could you let this happen to her! You were her husband!" he said spitting the last word out of his mouth with disdain. "If anyone could have prevented it or helped her it was you!"

"Who are you to accuse me of anything! You're the one that abandoned Marie!" Scott said loudly, his voice seething with animosity as his right hand went to the right side of his glasses. As if he was going to blast him.

Wolverine cringed, at the sound of Marie's name coming from Scott's mouth.

"She had you she didn't need me!" He yelled back.

"That's crap Logan, she needed you and you left!" Scott glared at him "Like you always do."

They were both stunned in silence, Scott by what he just admitted and Wolverine by what he just heard. They stood there staring at each other the tension almost palatable.

"It wouldn't have made any difference if I stayed or left." Wolverine said.

"It would have to her." Scott's hand inched away from his face, as his voice softened somewhat.

"How can you above all people say that?" Wolverine asked not as angry as he was.

"I loved her Logan, I always will.. and I know that you walking out on her really tore her up inside... You were her mentor, her friend..." Scott frowned, "And I am not afraid to admit that I stopped her at least two times from going after you." Scott's frown deepened into a pained expression and then he paused before opening his mouth again, as if suddenly unsure of himself. "She loved you, I always knew she did." Scott finally said.

"She grew out of it." Wolverine protested

"Maybe her love changed, but it always remained constant."

"Why didn't you let her come after me?"

Scott looked at Marie's grave a look of regret and sadness. And Wolverine suddenly knew, Scott was afraid he would have lost her. That didn't make him feel any better.

"Didn't you know Logan?... she loved us both."

"But she chose you."

"Only because I made the first move." Scott admitted.

"You don't really believe that."

Scott avoided the question.

"I know she loved me, I would have never married her or allowed her to marry me otherwise. But there was always a part of her, even after her marriage to me that always yearned for you. It didn't help that you disappeared."

"Didn't it?"

Scott showed a small smile on his face.

"Well maybe it helped me a little. "

"So."

"So?" Scott asked.

"So what now?"

Before Scott could answer Wolverine heard quickened footsteps coming from behind Scott.

"Dad!" he heard a breathless voice say "Dad!" the voice continued more urgently.

Scott turned around. Wolverine watched as he lifted his shoulders up as if drawing on strength he didn't have. A boy about the age of thirteen stopped in front of Scott.

"Dad, I can't make Sarah stop crying, think she wants a bottle or something but we didn't bring one," he then started whispering, obviously not aware that Wolverine could still hear him quite clearly. "I also brought these like y'asked." he handed Scott what looked to be some small books and a computer disk. "I know I was supposed t'come sooner so y'could spend as little time with this guy as possible, but I sorta lost track of time... Sorry."

The kid moved to the side so he could get a closer look at Wolverine. Wolverine couldn't help but notice the kid had startling red eyes.

Like his father.

It was Julien. Marie and Remy LeBeau's son.

Wolverine found his breath caught in his throat. He couldn't help but stare openly. Julien didn't seem to mind. He was staring at Wolverine too. But the young teenager finally turned around and left, after getting a look from his father.

Scott turned around looking guilty, knowing full well that Wolverine had heard everything that Julien had just said.

"Who's Sarah?" Wolverine asked, before Scott could offer an apology that he didn't need.

"She's my daughter."

"Your daughter?"

"Yes, Marie and I had a daughter together."

"Oh."

Scott realizing that he had a purpose, put his hand out, offering Wolverine the small books and cd in his hand.

"What's this?" Wolverine asked.

"Its Marie's journals, she wanted you to have them."

"Why me?"

"I think she wanted you to know how she felt, what she was feeling."

"Don't you want them?

"I have already read them, besides I have her in here." he said placing a hand over his heart.

Scott gave Marie's grave a final look, then he offered his hand up to Wolverine, and waited for him to take it.

He surprised himself when he did. They shook hands.

Scott then turned around and left Wolverine once again in silence at her grave.

He put two of the books under his left arm, the small cd labeled "Rogue's Journals cont.." in his shirt pocket and opened one of the journals. Wolverine flipped through it reading some of the passages.

Dear journal,
my life is a living hell. First I put my first boyfriend in a coma, then my parents kick me out of the home with barely the clothes on my back and $200 dollars. I have been traveling for over 8 months now and of course I am out of money, haven't eaten in 2 days, not to mention haven't taken a bath. And I am getting sick of hitchhiking. More than a few that I have ridden with have gotten a little too friendly and as a result I have gotten more nasty memories to deal with. But I bet they will think twice before doing that again. So here I am going to another city in Canada, a big scruffy guy just picked me up in his large truck and I am glad that he doesn't seem like the touchy type. He said we have about 4 more hours to go so I think it is safe enough for me to try to get some sleep, Lord knows I could use some...

Dear Journal,
I can't believe it! Out of my darkness and despair I met someone who brought me light and hope. That almost seems poetic! Well I feel like it! His name is Logan/Wolverine... who would have thought someone with a name like that would end up being my saving grace!

He flipped through some more pages

Dear Journal
Logan has been gone for 3 months, he saves my life and then disappears. I know he wants to find out about his past. Wish he wanted to live here in the present... with me.. Where did that come from! Ok so I have a crush on him! Who wouldn't? He saved my life in more forms than one. But I am only 16 and I know he only thinks of me as a kid, but for now that is ok. It is nice having a protector. specially when it is him.

Dear Journal,
Logan came back today, couldn't help but notice how he looked at Jean as she walked down the stairs...

He closed that book and took out the 2nd..

Dear Journal,
enough is enough, ever since I told Logan how I felt, I haven't talked to him. And I have been avoided him like the plague. But I miss him. So he doesn't want to be a part of my life like that. Time for me to act more mature. Time to make things right with him. I need him to be a part of my life.

Dear Journal,
I know that I haven't written in a while. Sorry. Wait a minute why am I apologizing to an inanimate object? Anyway. My life has changed.. somewhat. I am actually dating someone! Can you believe it! Me the Rogue. The untouchable.

His name is Remy. When I first met him I thought he was nothing but a self-centered wanna be lady's man, but well, obviously my feeling towards him have changed. It took me a long time to finally give in to him, (he can be quite persuasive!) but, well, he is not quite the person I thought he was... so caring, and thoughtful and spontaneous not too mention a little crazy sometimes, which is fine with me. Of course it doesn't hurt that he is the definition of eye candy. I mean... dang. Jubilee has been chasing him for months, not too mention a lot of the other girls can't seem to stop drooling over him... no man has gotten this much attention from the girls since, well.. Wolverine. So anyway, tonight is our 2 month anniversary, Remy told me to dress up, that we were going somewhere special. Dressing up isn't easy for a person like me, but with Kitty's help I think I look ok. So here I am wearing a pretty revealing dress for someone like me, typing away at my computer waiting for Remy. I sometimes wonder..

There is a knock at my door gotta go...

Wolverine closed the book and took out the third flipping through the pages he managing to give himself a paper cut that healed itself almost before he registered the sharp stinging pain. Something dropped out of the pages and after leaning down to retrieve it he saw that it was a letter.

A sealed letter addressed to him, in Marie's handwriting. It looked somewhat old, it was yellowed and wrinkled and looked as if it had been handled a bit.

He tore it open and pulled out the letter. Her smell came off strongly from the pages.

First thing he noticed was the date, the letter was over 8 years old.

He started to read

Dear Logan,
You have been gone for some time now. So I am writing this letter to you more for myself than you, since I know I will never mail it.

I can't say that I am surprised that you haven't come back. But there was always a part of me that believed you were. I am hoping that writing this to you will help me finally let you go.

I lied Logan.

That day you told me you loved me and I said I didn't feel the same... I lied. But it was too late! Don't you see. All those years of pining away for you, then the rejection and then loosing our friendship for a while was just too much. I was a coward. And as I said it was too late. I was committed to Scott and I do love him. More than anything. He has accepted Julien as his own, and I know that when we have children together that he will be a wonderful father to our child as well. He is a wonderful caring person and I know he will never leave me, betray me or shut me out of his life.

He is too good for me. But back to how I lied.

I do love you Logan. I had only known you for a couple days before I realized how much you mattered to me. My affection growing over the years till it deepened and became something new entirely. But you told me you didn't feel the same way, and I accepted that. I then met Remy and I found although my feelings for you changed since I was falling for him, they were always there. And they always have been.

Strange loving two people at the same time. Strange and sad.

I just wanted to say that I have come to turns with the fact that you are never coming back.. and although it makes me sad I hope and pray that you have somehow found peace and maybe even some contentment. You deserve it.

I will never forget you Logan, you helped me in more ways than one. I will remember the good times we had and the memories we share.

Goodbye Logan,
Love, Marie.

He folded the thin paper up and carefully put it back into its envelope. Wolverine noticed that he hadn't breathed since he started to read the letter, so he let out a long breath. Placing it back inside the middle of the third book, he took hold of the three books in his hands. Putting them on the ground in some grass near him, he approached her gravestone.

He lightly touched it, closing his eyes letting the memories flood his senses.

The sound of her laughter,

The sound of her voice when she was excited.

Her smell.

The way she scrunched her nose up whenever he called her kid.

The pain she had to go through when she lost Gambit, and the happiness she regained through her son.

The tears in her eyes when he told her he was never coming back.

Stopping himself before he digressed into more of the bitter memories, Wolverine opened his eyes, let out a deeply saddened sigh and then picked up the books again. Turning around he went back to his truck. After getting in and shutting the door he placed them near him making sure they were ok.

Then he started the engine put the car in reverse and then started to back up. It was time to go back to his cabin... away from his memories, away from the X-men, away from the world.

Time to go back to being alone. Whether he liked it or not...

Wolverine was in the middle of backing up when he suddenly heard a horn honking. When he looked behind his shoulder he noticed that a van was blocking his path.

Anger swelled up in him, he saw Scott getting out and coming in his direction.

He made his way to Wolverine's window and motioned for him to roll it down. He did, but in such a way that he showed Scott he wasn't at all happy with what he was doing.

"What are you blocking me for?"

"Can't allow you to go back to Canada yet."

"You can't allow me?" he asked incredulously.

"I promised the Professor and Ororo that I wouldn't let you leave until you came back to the mansion to see them."

"I don't want to see anyone right now."

Scott lowered his head and then looked back up at Wolverine.

"I'm sure that is true Logan, and I even know how you feel, but I still can't allow you to leave."

"How are you going to stop me?"

A wide grin spread across Scott's features as his hands made there way to his glasses.

"You really want to know?"

The van honked again and then started to drive away.

"Besides Julien is driving Sarah back, so I am stranded, you wouldn't leave me here would you?"

"You have to ask?"

Wolverine started backing up his truck, but then stopped. Looking back at Scott he motioned at him to get in the truck.

Scott started to jog to the truck, and when he reached the passenger side door he unlocked the door.

"Thought you were going to leave me."

Wolverine grunted

"I was."

"So why did you stop?"

"Marie would have wanted me to." He said, knowing he was speaking the truth.

"Oh." was all that Scott could say.

And then they headed back to the Xavier School for the Gifted. Wolverine found himself driving slower that he normally did, but whether Scott noticed or not he said nothing.

But then he found himself thinking.

Maybe he didn't have to be alone.

Maybe it was time for his life to change.

Maybe he could once again become apart of something that was bigger than himself and that had actual meaning.

When they reached the gates to the mansion he was no longer hesitant. Entering his code on the security system key pad, he was surprised to see that it still worked. After all the passing years, they were still expecting him to return.

"Marie wouldn't let them delete it out of the system." Scott said in a hushed voice.

"Welcome Wolverine." the feminine computer voice chirped.

The gates then opened and he drove through.

Memories overwhelmed him and he found himself depressed, angry, and then strangely content.

He then knew. Not only was he back but he was once again home.

Wolverine hoped Marie would have liked that.