Sorry, I haven't updated in a while…School was insane. I would really, really appreciate it if you'd review. Thanks!

Gwen awoke early that morning feeling less rested than she ever had. Although she hadn't dreamt of Sirius or the dog again, the fear of it returning had plagued her. She looked at the clock on the nightstand and realized that she was already a half-hour behind schedule. Stella would have to settle for Irish Oatmeal this morning because she didn't have the time to make eggs. She climbed out of bed and covered her green silk nightgown with a purple bathrobe. The edges of the bathrobe were frayed. It was over 15 years old. Sirius had given it to her as a graduation present. Because he was such a sexual man, she had been surprised to open a fluffy bathrobe, but that was what she had once loved about him: he was always full of surprises. Then, she'd discovered he had too many surprises, too many secrets. She wrapped the robe around her and inhaled deeply absorbing the heady smell of old magic, Quidditch green, and dark forest pine, the smell of Sirius. Although he'd betrayed her, she still found comfort in his scent. She sighed knowing today would be one of the difficult days when the memories would haunt her and started downstairs.

After making breakfast, she woke up Stella and laid out an autumn brown dress with socks and shoes for her daughter and started the shower. She showered with her usual haste and picked out her favorite set of dark green robes to wear to work. She always tried to look her best when she felt her worst to counteract her bad mood. She left her daughter at school and apparated to work: a small building on Diagon Alley that specialized in the care of magical creatures. Since she'd found a hurt phoenix in her yard at the age of nine and repaired its wing, she'd always dreamed of being an animal healer. She'd gotten her wish after years of unrelenting hard work and for the past 14 years, it had been her only refuge.

Although she loved Stella more than she'd ever thought possible, the hurt that came with caring for her could sometimes be too much. Each time she looked into her daughter's grey eyes she was reminded of what she'd almost had. No one knew the truth, not even Stella. Her coworkers believed her story that Stella's father had died in a flying accident when Stella was 6 months old, but that wasn't true. Stella's father was still alive wherever he was hiding. A month after Sirius' arrest and consequent imprisonment in Azkaban, Gwen had discovered she was pregnant. At first, she was horrified. She was carrying the child of the Dark Lord's heir. That put her in unthinkable danger. If Voldemort or any of his followers ever discovered that Sirius Black had a child… just thinking about it today made her shudder. She'd contemplated getting rid of the child, but she couldn't bring herself to destroy the one thing that would always belong to her as a link to the man she loved. A reminder of what Sirius once was: pure, loving, and good-hearted, not what he had become. Everyone who knew her knew that she and Sirius had been lovers. They'd all know that this was his child. She needed a way to stall the child's birth until Sirius had been forgotten and no one would suspect that Stella was his because she'd be too young. She'd despaired in ever finding a solution, but one day, while perusing the shelves of Flourish and Blott's she'd come across the answer. A spell to delay the birth of a conceived child until the mother had decided whether to keep it or not. It could be cast for up to 10 years. Gwen waited eight…Eight had been enough to ensure that no one would know she carried Sirius' child and eight had been enough for her to try to forget the memories. She hadn't forgotten of course. It was impossible for her to forget the only man she'd ever loved. Of course she'd dated other men, she didn't anymore, but for the first couple of years when she was trying to forget, she had. None of them had been good enough. Sure some were good-looking, others kind, but none of them had what she'd loved most about Sirius: his undeniable passion for life, his friends, everything. With other men, she'd only slept with them. With Sirius, she'd truly made love. That was the only thing you could call it with Sirius because for him, it was the greatest act of love. For other men, it was a recreational activity. For Sirius, it was the sharing of his soul and every time they'd ever made love it had been, well, magical.

When Stella was born, Gwen stopped dating other people. She'd come to terms with the fact that she would never find another man like Sirius. She began devoting all her time to Stella, the closest she would ever get to Sirius again. Every day Gwen silently thanked herself for keeping Stella. Every time she looked into those grey eyes a wave of love and hurt came crashing over her.

"Gwen! Gwen? Hey, the work day's over." Gwen looked up to see Shari holding the door open for her. She looked at her watch and realized she was late for picking up Stella. She'd gotten so lost in her thoughts of the secrets of her life that she'd lost all track of time. Gwen smiled at Shari, thanked her, walked out into the street, and apparated to Stella's school. The rest of the day was fairly regular. She helped Stella with her homework, they ate dinner, and she tucked Stella into bed for the night.

Gwen climbed into bed and fell asleep right away. Immediately, she faded into dreams of the memories of her past…

Gwen rolled over and her eyes fluttered open. The white sheets were pulled up over her body and her long red hair was delicately mussed, the result of a night of passionate lovemaking. She smiled as she glanced at the figure beside her and then looked at the elegantly carved emerald ring on her left hand. She traced Sirius' well-defined back with her eyes and gently, stretched out her hand and began stroking his long black hair. Last night had been the best night of her life. Not only had Sirius finally proposed, but they'd spent the entire night in bed together. As she remembered the events of the previous night, she continued to absentmindedly stroke his hair. Suddenly, he rolled over and grabbed her upper arms and laughing, began kissing her. Between kisses, she giggled, "I love you."

He stopped and looked deep into her eyes and replied, "I love you too." Then, he kissed her on the lips again and began to move slowly down her body with his lips. He tenderly caressed her with his mouth and with a gleam in his eye slid into her.

"This makes five," she whispered.

"I know," he said and kissed her on the forehead. After making love, he remained inside her and they rolled over so she rested on top of his masterfully shaped body.

"Let's go visit James and Lily," he said.

"Ok, I want to tell them the good news."

They got out of bed and dressed rather quickly and as they kissed, they apparated to Godric's Hollow. Lily was watering the begonias in the window box, and she laughed when she saw them appear. Lily opened the door to let in her two best friends. As they entered the house, James came out of the bedroom with baby Harry in his arms. Gwen ran to kiss her godson on the forehead (She had been named Godmother and Sirius, Godfather.) As she reached to take the baby, James glanced at her hands and looked at Sirius questioningly. Sirius nodded and Gwen felt herself crack the biggest smile she ever had. She looked at Lily and announced, "Lil, Sirius and I are engaged."

Lily dropped the watering can and ran to hug Gwen. While at Hogwarts, the two had almost become sisters in the same way James and Sirius were brothers. Lily knew one thing was certain: she sure was better than Petunia. Then, after they broke apart, they squealed like school girls. Lily gushed, "I can't believe it."

"I know, me either. I can't wait until Harry has a friend to play with."

Sirius smiled. He'd always wanted to be a father, and although he'd always suspected as much, he was happy to hear that Gwen felt the same way about motherhood.

James walked to Sirius and shook his hand, "I take it the plan worked then?"

"Yep!" Sirius grinned.

Lily whacked James on the arm, "You knew and you didn't tell me. Why I-James, how could you?"

"You can't blame me Lil. You've never been very good at keeping good news secret. When you found out about Harry, you walked around the office rubbing your stomach for three hours, and I had to ask you if you wanted some of that Muggle medicine, Pepto Bismal, and you finally admitted you were pregnant. I wasn't going to let you ruin Sirius and Gwen's night."

"Oh you," she said and ran to give Gwen another hug. The rest of the day passed like a dream. The four enjoyed talking with each other, catching up on their week, and when Lily and James had to run an errand, Sirius and Gwen watched Harry. They played with him and as Gwen held Harry in her arms, Sirius told her he couldn't wait to see her hold their child. The four ate dinner together, and Sirius and Gwen apparated back to his apartment.

By accident or maybe not, the two apparated into Sirius' bedroom. Gwen pushed him onto the double bed and climbing on top of him, undid his buttons with her teeth. When he was lying naked on the bed, she went into the closet, took off all her clothes, and climbing back onto the bed, examined every inch of his body with her lips. Having finished, she raised herself up and slid him into her. She could find no feeling that made her happier, and she moaned with delight as he delicately moved in and out of her. She arched her back to meet him, and they made the best love they ever had. Exhausted from the effort, Gwen fell asleep in his arms.

Several hours later she awoke to find the room dark and Sirius missing. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was past one. She figured Sirius had gone to the bathroom, but when he didn't return shortly, she began to worry. Why had Sirius left her in his house by herself? He hadn't said anything earlier. Had there been another attack? She put on the extra pajamas she had in his drawer and went into the living room to wait. As each minute passed, she became more and more concerned. This was unlike Sirius: no note, no warning, nothing. Why hadn't he woken her up? Whatever it was, shouldn't she know?

At about 4 a.m., she heard voices outside the door, and Albus Dumbledore burst into the apartment. Gwen jumped. "Gwendolyn, Is that you?"

"Yes, Albus. Where's Sirius? Is everything alright? What's going on? I woke up and he was gone."

"We thought you might know where he is."

"No, I-"

"You didn't let me finish. It is of utmost importance that we find him. Lily and James are dead."

"What? No, that's not possible. I saw them just over 8 hours ago."

"They're dead. Voldemort got them."

Gwen sank onto the couch in disbelief. Her two best friends were gone. Lily and James Potter were dead. The two best wizards of her class, possibly her generation, were gone. She was almost scared to ask the next question, "Harry, Is he?"

"He survived somehow. Curse backfired and got Voldemort instead. The Dark Lord is no more."

Gwen gasped, "He's really gone?"

Dumbledore nodded grimly, "I don't understand why Lily and James had to go with him, but things never seem to make much sense these days."

"Harry, where is he?"

"His aunt and uncle's. They're the closest family he has. He needs to be away from the wizarding world for the time being. Voldemort's followers will not regard the boy with kindness."

"I was wondering if maybe Sirius and I could take him"

"I don't think that will be possible."

Gwen was still trying to grasp the fact that her two best friends were gone, when she had began to wonder how Sirius fit into the equation and why he hadn't woken her up to tell her. Why he'd disappeared to leave the news to come from the morning papers or whoever she happened to meet first. "Why?"

"Gwen, did you know that Sirius was Lily and James secret keeper?"

"Of course, I'm in the Order. We all knew or those closest to Lily and James anyway."

"Then you understand that only he could have divulged Lily and James whereabouts."

"Yes, wait, no. What are you saying? You think Sirius betrayed Lily and James. The closest thing he's ever known to family."

"I'm afraid it's the only logical explanation. I've suspected for some time that one of our group is a spy for the Dark Lord and tonight, Sirius seems to have revealed himself. His family does tend to have dark leanings and a distaste for Muggle-borns, and he's the only one that could have told Voldemort where they are."

"No, it's just not possible. Betray Lily and James? Never. That's not like him and besides, he was here."

"What was the last time you saw him?"

"Eleven o'clock."

"They died at one. Enough time for him to betray his dearest friends."

"I—I, well, I don't know. Well, what now?"

"Find him, find him before he does anymore damage. Hagrid said he already tried to take the boy. No doubt to finish him off."

Gwen screamed, "Stop. Just stop. It's no, Sirius wouldn't try to kill Harry…He loves him."

"Power changes people Gwen. It consumes them and love doesn't matter anymore."

"Don't say that…Don't ever say that. That means I don't matter."

But it was true because the next morning, Peter Pettigrew cornered Sirius to try to get the best of him, but Peter was hopeless with a wand. Sirius got him with one blast, along with 13 muggles.

Gwen went to watch him be condemned to Azkaban without a trial. She sat in the back and watched the man she thought she knew. He looked the same he had two nights ago. No hatred or dark force in his eyes, nothing like Dumbledore had described. Was he really that different from her Sirius of Hogwarts? Was he capable of betrayal? She stood to call out to him, but as she began to rise, Lily and James' faces rose to her thoughts and she sat down in disgust. She couldn't believe she hadn't seen him for what he was, a heartless monster who'd betray his closest friends. She hoped he'd rot in Azkaban. The minute she thought it she began to regret it.

Sirius had seen her stand and as the guards dragged him off he lost any sense of dignity, "Gwen, help me! Please! Lily and James, I'd never, you know…Gwen, please, Gwen, I love you."

Sobbing, Gwen ignored his pleas and exited the courtroom in her black robes with tears streaming down her face. "Sirius Black," she thought, "You betrayed Lily and James, but I'll love you until the day I die."

A fog filled the dream and in the distance, Gwen heard barking as she was engulfed by thousands of grey eyes.