Chapter 18: Afghans, Apples, and Godparents

Moments later Sonny scooped Kristina into his arms at the bottom of the stairs. "What's wrong, Princess?"

"You weren't here when I went to sleep," Kristina said.

He hadn't been, and he did feel badly about that. "I know, but I bet Brenda read a chapter of your book. She does the voices better anyway," Sonny said. Brooklyn had never actually told him that, because her mother had raised her not to trample all over people's feelings. Instead, he had overheard her admit to her mother that Brenda did the voices much better than Uncle Sonny.

Kristina shook her head. "Not better than you! Where did you go?" she asked.

"Someone else needed my help," Sonny said. He believed what he had had told Kristina. Alexis did need his help and perhaps, someday, she would even let herself take it.

"Someone more important than me?" Kristina asked softly.

"No one could be more important to me than you, Princess."

"Not even Brooke?" Kristina asked.

"I love your cousin Brooklyn just like your Aunt Lois loves you, Molly, and your brothers. But you are my daughter, Kristina, and you will always have a special place in my heart just like your sister and brothers do."

"Daddy Mark loves Kensi best!"

"He is her father, Kristina," Sonny said. It was just complicated that for a few years Dr. Mark Quartermaine had also pretended to be Kristina's father.

"I think Grandma loves Brooke best. She made her Snickerdoodles," Kristina said.

"Kristina, it isn't a contest. Your…" Sonny paused and searched for a better term but finally took a deep breath and continued. "Your grandmother loving Brooklyn doesn't mean she loves you any less. She made you your magic afghan, right?"

"Brooke has afghans too," Kristina said.

Sonny wondered if Brooklyn's were magical too. He decided not to ask that question. He pulled Kristina a little closer to him and started across the penthouse to the steps on the other side that led to Kristina's room. "You know Brooklyn is really your cousin and she loves you. You don't need to compete with her for anyone's love," he said as he started up the steps.

Kristina seemed to consider that for a moment. "My cousin like Nicole and Katelyn are? They're Brooke's cousins too."

Nicole and Katelyn Quartermaine, Dr. Alan Quartermaine's two youngest daughters, truly were Brooklyn's cousins since her father was their parents's nephew. If you pretended Dr. Mark Quartermaine was Kristina's father, then Kristina was their cousin as well. However, Mark wasn't Kristina's father and for the past four years Sonny had not exactly been thrilled with Kristina's continued enmeshment in the Quartermaine family. Alexis had continued to argue that they couldn't pull Kristina away from the Quartermaines. Alexis felt that the Quartermaines had become Kristina's family because of the choices she had made, and Sonny could hate her for those choices, but he couldn't pull Kristina away from her family. As much as the whole idea had frustrated him, he still hadn't been able to hate Alexis.

As he opened the door to Kristina's bedroom he wondered if the fact that he didn't really accept the Quartermaines as her family made Kristina insecure in their love. There was still a part of him that didn't really want Kristina to be loved by the Quartermaines but he was starting to see that probably really was part of the problem. For a brief moment he thought of his mother's younger son. Ric justified every blasted vendetta with the fact that his mother hadn't loved him. The sad thing was that Sonny knew their mother had grieved for years for the baby she thought Trevor had killed. Even Sonny had grieved for the little brother he would never get to play with. But, by the time Sonny learned years later that Ric had lived, Ric had also done too much for Sonny to ever consider him anything but his mother's son. He wanted Brooke to always see Kristina as something more than her Uncle Sonny's daughter. He supposed even Nicole Quartermaine should see Kristina as something more than her cousin Mark's daughter who wasn't really Mark's daughter. Children needed love to thrive perhaps it wasn't for him to decide who's love Kristina got to have. "I guess you could say that," he finally responded to Kristina's question.

Kristina looked up at him as he turned the covers back. "Aunt Lois said Brooke and I were god sisters. Is that almost like real sisters?"

"Sure," Sonny said.

"But, mommy said that Brooke wasn't my sister like Molly. Mommy wouldn't let me have dinner with Brooke, Kensi, and Daddy Mark."

"Maybe it just wasn't a good time," Sonny suggested as he pulled the pink satin quilt up to her chin and then sat down on the edge of her bed.

"Mommy never thinks anything is a good time. Do I have a godfather?"

Sonny shuddered at Kristina's question. Kristina technically had two godfathers—Ned Ashton, Mark's choice when he had been pretending to be her father, and Ric, the only person Alexis had been willing to accept when Sonny had wanted his daughter to have a proper Catholic christening. He really wasn't thrilled with either option, but Lois had been trying to convince him that Ned at least was harmless. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, you are Brooke's godfather and Grandma said that Uncle Alan is Brooke's dad Ned's godfather and also Jason and Adam's godfather. Emily is Michael's godmother and Molly's godmother."

Sonny had forgotten that last piece of information. Almost two years ago, as a third-year medical student, Emily had delivered Molly while they were all trapped in the GlenCoe tunnel after the train collision. Molly's middle name was a tribute to her godmother. Molly Emily had sounded pretty hideous in Sonny's opinion, but Molly Emma wasn't bad he supposed.

"Is Emily Morgan's godmother too?" Kristina asked.

"No, your Aunt Lois is Morgan's godmother," Sonny said. That had been a battle and a half with Ally as he recalled. It wasn't like Ally had better choices either. He would have conceded if she had wanted to ask her sister, Carly. But she hadn't. She had finally agreed when he told her she could pick his godfather. But she had picked the person he would have anyway-Jason.

"So, can Aunt Lois be my godmother too? Kristina asked.

Kristina had once had two godmothers also. Originally her godmother had been Chloe Morgan who was murdered by Stavros Cassadine before Kristina had turned two. Later, in a failed attempt at family harmony, Sonny had asked Ally, who had been his wife at the time, to be Kristina's godmother. That hadn't really been his best move either. "Why don't you let me talk to mommy about that?"

"Mommy will say no. Mommy always says no if it's something I really want."

"That isn't true, Kristina. You shouldn't give your mother such a hard time. She loves you and Molly more than anything."

"I know, but I still wish she had never divorced Daddy Mark," Kristina said.

Those words hit Sonny hard. Sometimes he let himself wonder if Kristina had never needed the transplant if Alexis would have ever told him the truth. Sometimes he let himself believe, or perhaps pretend, that she would have. Other times he was sure she never would have, and Mark would still be raising his daughter. He didn't want to believe maybe that would have been better for Kristina but maybe it would have been. "Ok, princess, it's time to go back to sleep. In the morning I'll make you pancakes," he said

Somewhat surprisingly Kristina sat up for a moment, wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered, "Goodnight, daddy, I love you."

"I love you too, Krissy," Sonny said. That was one thing he was sure of. Everything else was much more difficult.