Author's Note: Here it is! The final chapter and it's long. And as it is the final chapter, you know I want to hear from you. Please R&R. Thanks!
Previously:
She looked deep into his eyes. "Can you get him back for me?"
"Yes, we can."
"Then it will be over."
Ella lay flat in her back, her feet propped up in stirrups at the SGC's infirmary. Where it all began, she thought to herself. Dr. Lam had insisted on doing a pelvic exam to check on her baby's health along with everything else that required medical attention. MRI's had been done on her hands, revealing nothing greater than severe tendon strains on her right hand and deep bruising on both. Her right hand was now bandaged and braced. An ice pack was sitting on her left.
Ella and the team had been beamed straight from Loki's ship to the military base. She really did not like being transported that way. Sam tried to explain the process, but Jack asked her to stop. All Ella needed to hear was "disassembled at the molecular level" for her heartbeat to increase and her face to blanche. It had been scary enough when she hadn't known what was happening.
Once they all arrived in one piece, Teal'c had been the medical priority. The painful electrical burns around his eyes were bad, but he swore that his vision was improving. After seeing the damage to Col. Mitchell's hand, Ella had tried to insist that he be seen before her, but everyone disagreed. Ella was handed over to the care of Dr. Lam without further delay. She liked this serious and petite doctor.Dr. Lamhad a gentle touch and, more importantly, warm hands.
As she lay there, she tried to relax, but couldn't. She wasn't just an average pregnant woman receiving standard prenatal care. She was being treated at a top-secret medical facility after having been abducted by an alien who had possessed her husband, for god's sake! "Relaxed" was not in her vocabulary. But even as these thoughts went through her mind, the "therapist" side of her knew she was still trying to maintain some detachment from the horrors of the past few days. If her mind went too far into it, she would be useless to everyone. She needed to be there when Alex woke up.
If Alex woke up, a voice whispered in her head. Daniel had sounded very assuring when he told her about the surgery that her husband was about to go through, but his eyes told her the truth. Alex's life was in danger, still. Ella may be back on Earth, but how would she ever be "home" if Alex was not with her?
"All right, everything looks good." Dr. Lam snapped off her latex gloves. Then she helped her patient out of the stirrups and elevated the bed to a sitting position. "How does your head feel?" A physician's assistant had cleaned and bandaged the wound on Ella's forehead.
"It still hurts, but the aspirin is helping," Ella answered. "Of course without my glasses, it will be back. I haven't seen them in days so I guess they are still on the damn ship."
"If you give me the name of your eye doctor, we can order some new ones." The doctor made a note in Ella's chart. "Ella, I need to ask, do you have an obstetrician?"
It seemed so weird to be having this normal "baby" conversation. It was such a simple pleasure. She sighed. "Um, no. I just found out I was pregnant when Alex – was taken. I guess I need to get on that."
"If it's all right with you, I would like to speak to the General about transferring your care to the Air Force hospital. The first trimester is the most critical time in a pregnancy and you are coming in with some unusual circumstances."
"Really?" Ella was able to give a small smile. "Would you be my doctor?"
Dr. Lam smiled back. "I am not a trained OB, but I would love to stay involved in your care. Like I told you before, it's not often that I get to help bring new people in to the world these days."
"That would help." Ella blinked back some unwanted tears. "I don't tend to like doctors, so it's rare that I find one I trust."
The doctor patted her hand. "We will find you the best and nicest one there, I promise. And now, if you are ready for it, I am pretty sure you have a visitor." She pulled open the curtain and revealed Daniel Jackson, pacing near Ella's bed. "Hello, Dr. Jackson."
He seemed embarrassed to be caught. "Um, hi."
"I have to check on some other patients, Ella, but I'll get on your paperwork right away. Dr. Jackson, I've ordered some food for Ella. Please make sure she eats it." The young doctor walked away, granting the old friends some privacy.
Daniel and Ella looked at each other. There was an awkward silence, until Ella finally looked away. She saw that Teal'c was in a bed at the other end of the room, presumably sleeping while he healed. Guilt twisted in her stomach.
In the immediate aftermath of her rescue, she had not thought about everything that had happened during her imprisonment. People that she knew had been hurt trying to save her. Humans on a planet she had never even known about had died at her hand. Daniel must be so disappointed in her. After all, it seemed he had been fighting these creatures for almost ten years. She had barely survived one encounter.
Then she looked back at him. Daniel had wrapped his arms tightly around his chest. In his blue eyes, all she saw was his own fear, his fear that his life was too dangerous for her and her new family and that she would choose to abandon their friendship. She opened her arms to him.
Grateful, he wrapped his arms around her. There was tension in her body overlaying a very delicate emotional state. He knew her well enough to recognize a façade when he saw one. It was taking everything she had not to fall apart. He was feeling pretty fragile himself, but he pushed that aside to be strong for Ella. It was what she needed.
They held on for several minutes without speaking. When they finally pulled apart, Daniel reached into his pocket and withdrew Ella's glasses.
"Oh my gosh, where did you find them?" Ella's vision was not terrible, but as soon as she slipped her glasses on, she could feel the eyestrain vanish.
"They were in Lo – Alex's clothes. In his shirt pocket." Daniel answered.
She sagged back onto the bed. "God, one more thing."
There was another silence, but this one did not feel as uncomfortable.
"So," Daniel said at last, "I guess I have a few things to tell you."
"Can you?" she asked. "Tell me, that is? All this time, it's been classified, or something we just didn't talk about." She would not push him. She knew enough now to know that she wasn't sure if she wanted to know more.
"Well, you will be signing some papers promising the government that you won't be telling anyone else about what has happened here, but you should know some of this. You will need it to help Alex."
"Okay."
So he told her. It took a long time. He told her everything that he could, how the Stargate was found, how the Goa'uld started a war with Earth. He told her the truth about Sha're, putting tears in both of their eyes, now that Alex had been in such a similar position. When he got to the time of his ascension, she stopped him.
"Is this about when you… 'died'?" she interrupted, making little quote marks with her fingers.
He nodded, "Yes."
Her mouth twisted as she chewed her lip and looked down at her lap. "Can we – not – go into that? I just can't talk about that, not right now."
"Of course." After all of this time, it still hurt her. He tended to forget that. He was quiet for a moment, thinking, and then he linked his fingers with her left hand. "Ella? What did he do to you?"
She became very still and then pulled her hand away. Carefully flexing her fingers, she started to speak. "He knew everything. Good or bad. And he turned it all against me. My whole life became a weapon. He knew about my childhood, he found out about you and I," she looked up to see that he knew what she meant. "He knew everything that I have ever been afraid of. He made me beg." Unconsciously, Ella started to lightly nip at the skin on the top of her thumb. When she realized what she was doing, she flattened her hand on her lap. "And none of that even comes close what he almost did to you and what he made me do...It was me. He made me fire that weapon on the planet. I tried to stop him but I couldn't. He was so damn strong." Her voice broke and her eyes were awash with unshed tears, but she still could not let go.
Daniel placed his hands on her face and drew her close again. Kissing her lightly on her forehead, he assured her, "It wasn't your fault. Whatever happened, it was not your fault."
She clung to the truth in his words. Taking an unsteady breath, she wiped her eyes. "When will we hear about Alex?"
Daniel glanced at his watch. "I don't really know. Soon, I hope."
Just as he finished talking, Col. Mitchell ran in the room. "Jackson. Ma'am, your husband is out of surgery. Looks like he is going to be fine."
"Oh, thank god." Daniel's posture sagged as the news sunk in. Ella just closed her eyes and pressed her fingertips to her lips.
When she opened her eyes again, her green irises were burning. "What about – it? The thing, the alien?"
Cameron looked uncomfortable at her question and he glanced at Daniel. "It's alive, too. Thor wants to take it."
"Isn't Thor the one who lost it in the first place?" The men were surprised that Ella knew that. "Loki told me."
"That's sort of the case, but not entirely," Daniel tried to explain. "The real Loki is an Asgard, like Thor. This Goa'uld had taken Loki a long time ago and when the Asgard got their Loki free, he wanted to keep the symbiote. Long story short, that was how he got loose."
"How do we know the…Asgard…won't let him loose him again?" she asked.
"Thor told me this time the symbiote would die," was all Daniel could tell her.
"I want to see it," Ella stated.
"What?" asked Cameron at the same time Daniel spluttered, "Why?"
"I want to see it," she repeated, steel creeping into her voice. "Daniel, I need to. I need to see that it wasn't Alex..." Her voice trailed off, but he knew where her thoughts were going.
"Ella…"
"Daniel?"
"…okay."
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Ella walked down the hallway with Daniel. As she neared the lab, her body began to numb from fear. Clothes had been scrounged up for her and the ill-fitting men's style blue BDUs just added to the sense of unreality that was suffocating her. But she continued forward.
At the doorway, Ella stopped, Daniel waiting patiently behind her. He rested his hand on her shoulder. "Just take a breath."
Daniel had described the Goa'uld as "pure evil." Ella needed to see what that looked like; otherwise she knew that her nightmares would all wear her husband's face. Breathing deep, she crossed the threshold and stared into the glass tank in the center of the room.
It was worse than she could ever have imagined. It looked like a snake that had been crossbred with a Japanese throwing star. It turned and bared its four-pronged mouth at her, making her jump. Daniel steadied her from behind.
That thing had been inside her husband? That thing had touched and kissed her? It had wanted to hurt her baby? She could not look away.
"How did it - " she cleared her throat and tried to firm up her voice – "how did it get into Alex?"
"It, um, it enters the back of the neck and wraps around the brain stem and the spinal cord."
She pressed her fingers to the warm glass and leaned closer. "Does it hurt?"
"Yes." Daniel whispered.
She continued to stare at the foul creature. "Can I have a moment alone, please?" Her voice was flat and toneless, but the tank's light illuminated the raging grief in her eyes.
"I don't want to leave you with this," he protested.
"It can't hurt me now, can it?"
Ella had always preferred to face her demons and Daniel wanted to give her that chance but this was different. He hesitated before finally agreeing. "All right. I'll be right outside the door." He motioned for the guard to follow him and stepped outside the lab.
It wasn't long before a giant crash made all of the men race back into the room. Broken glass and symbiote medium littered the floor. At her feet lay a very dead Goa'uld, smashed and severed into two pieces.
Ella dropped the fire extinguisher from her hands and flicked some water from her glasses. Eyes clear and calm, she said, "I'd like to see my husband now."
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A guard stayed in the medical isolation room, but Ella barely noticed him. She sat by Alex's bedside and was shocked to see that he looked no different. His skin was almost glowing with health. The bed had been elevated to take pressure off of his neck where the bandages were visible.
She wondered if he would remember anything or if it would be her burden to tell. Would he even still be the man she knew and loved or was he lost to her? Ella felt like a giant raw and exposed nerve. Seeking some comfort, Ella rested her head on Alex's chest. She could hear his heart beating behind its delicate cage of bone. Wanting more, she raised the palm of his hand to her lips and inhaled. Only traces of his personal scent lingered, faint whiffs of ink pens and fresh paper. Hospital smells interfered with everything else. She placed his hand on her head and closed her eyes. Exhaustion overwhelmed her.
She awoke with a start when Alex's hands began to move through her hair. Holding her breath, Ella looked up at him, fearing what she might see. Alex met her gaze with vague and confused eyes.
"Are you real?" he asked faintly.
She took his hand and sat up. "Yes. I'm real."
"Are you really here?"
"Yes, Alex. I'm really here. I'm with you. This is real."
"I kept screaming for you, but you couldn't hear me." Alex's voice was still weak but his eyes remained locked onto hers.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry my love." She rose up and held his face, kissing him gently.
He traced her features with his thumb, feeling the swellings, seeing all her bruises. "Oh my god. What did I do to you?"
She say down on his bed and pulled him to her. "Nothing. You did nothing. It wasn't you Alex."
"I'm sorry," he started to cry. "I tried to stop him but I couldn't. I couldn't do – anything! Did I – did I hurt – is the baby okay? Did I hurt our baby?"
"No. The baby is fine. I'm fine. You did nothing wrong. I love you, Alex. I know that you would never hurt me." Alex continued to cry uncontrollably as he begged for forgiveness. Ella rocked him in her arms, telling him that she loved him and that he was safe. Repeating over and over that none of this was his fault and that their baby was going to grow up beautiful, strong and safe. She told him there was nothing to forgive.
Hidden in the dark observation room, Daniel watched the lovers reunite. His memories of Sarah Gardner's recovery were still fresh in his mind. She was doing very well these days, but it had been a long journey. Alex's healing would be hard but Daniel knew that Ella would be there every step of the way. Daniel would be there for both of them. Ella was maintaining a strong front and Daniel knew that that was what she needed right now. But Daniel would be there when the front collapsed.
The door opened and Dr. Lam slipped in. She stood beside Daniel and watched the scene below.
"I should go in there," she said as Ella continued to sooth her husband.
"Can you give them another moment?" Daniel asked. "Just let him learn where he is before he has strangers to deal with."
Dr. Lam had never dealt with a former Goa'uld host, so she agreed to follow Daniel's advice.
"How is he?" Daniel asked.
"Physically, Dr. Portmanoy is fine. Great, in fact, except for some bruising on his toes. The symbiotes really do deliver on the promise of good health." The young woman sounded bitter. "I hear that we no longer have a symbiote to deal with?"
"Yeah, El decided to take matters into her own hands. If I had been thinking, I never would have let her alone in the room." In his mind's eye, Daniel saw Ella's revenge going horribly wrong and the symbiote surviving and stealing her from him. He suppressed a shudder.
"Well, I for one have no problem with that thing being dead."
"Neither do I." The words sounded cold to his ears, but he meant it. Briefly, his mind flickered back to a tank, filled with larval Goa'uld, a gun in his hand…
Dr. Lam looked up at him with sad, beautiful eyes. "I know that you helped a friend through this before. Dr. Potmanoy is going to be transferred to the Air Force hospital for his recovery time. He's going to need your help with this."
"Of course," he replied. "Whatever's needed."
She smiled and placed her hand on his arm, squeezing lightly. "I should get down to my patients. General Landry would like to see you in ten minutes."
"Thanks." As she turned and walked away, Daniel was surprised to realize that his arm was tingling, just a little, where she had touched him.
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Ella had no idea what time it was when Alex finally fell into a drug-induced sleep. It seemed that he had cried for hours, slipping between clarity and hysteria. Every time, she and Dr. Lam talked him back from the edge. They worked together to keep him in the present. It was hell.
She was so tired that her legs barely supported her as she stumbled into the VIP room. As she lay on the bed, she felt so tired, so very cold and alone.
The tears came. Soon she was crying so hard she was screaming. Stuffing a pillow in her mouth so no noise came out, Ella's grief continued to rip her apart.
She didn't hear anyone come in the room and she did not notice him climb into bed with her. All that she knew was that one minute she was alone and the next minute Daniel was there. Lying behind her, he pulled her close and warmed her. He held her as she cried, sharing his strength when she had none.
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A certain number of months later…A large teddy bear head poked around the door-frame of Ella's hospital room. Its fuzzy brown arm quirked in a friendly wave.
"Daniel, I'm not pregnant anymore. Ridiculous cuteness no longer has the power to make me cry."
Daniel's bespectacled face peeked into her room. "I was afraid you would be mad at me for missing the big event."
"Get in here, you goof. It's not your fault everything happened two weeks early."
He walked into the room and kissed her on her forehead. Then he looked down at the sleeping baby in her arms. "Wow. So this is she."
"Yup. Daniel Jackson, meet your niece, Daniela Samantha Portmanoy."
Daniel had not been told what Alex and Ella's were planning to name their baby. She was pleased to see his surprised delight sparkle in his eyes.
"You…"
"We named her after you. After us, really. All of us."
He traced his finger across the baby's fuzzy scalp. "El, she is beautiful."
Daniel was always so smart. "She really is."
"Can I hold her?"
She gave him a slightly suspicious glance that greatly amused him. "Please? I washed my hands."
"Okay," she reluctantly agreed. "But sit down."
"You know, I have delivered babies before. I handle ancient artifacts on a daily basis. I think I can be trusted to hold my niece."
"That's great. And if you were to drop my child, I promise you that no alien would ever be as scary as I would become. Now sit!"
He sat. Pulling his chair closer, he lifted the feather-weight bundle of blankets and tiny human out of her mother's arms. Daniel knew it was a cliché, but the baby seemed so amazing to him. One thing he had learned while Ascended was that it all came down to this. New life. Even in the darkest times, life continued and started anew. It was the most exquisite of every day miracles.
"Where's Alex?" he finally asked.
Ella was trying to find a new sitting position. Her body hurt in new and unusual ways and comfort was eluding her. "I sent him home for a shower. It was very necessary." She shoved a pillow behind her low back and another under her knees. "I am really glad that the SGC got the message to you that I went into labor."
"Are you kidding? Practically the whole base was waiting for me when I came back. Everybody is excited. I called Jack on my way over and he is coming to town as soon as his schedule permits. Which means tomorrow or the day after. He is crazy about kids."
"Do you think him and Sam…" Ella trailed off, discretely.
"I don't know," he answered. "I hope so. I know Jack wants to have another child and Sam wants to have one, but with everything that's been happening on base, it's been hard enough for them to plan a wedding. One problem at a time."
"When is the date?" She lay her head back and watched Daniel play with the baby's fingers.
"They finally nailed it down. I have your invitation on my desk at work. It's in two months. As I was dashing towards the gate, Sam actually yelled at me that you are to bring the baby with you to the wedding." He laughed. "She's a little obsessed these days."
"Don't be too hard on her. Everyone looks to the bride to plan the whole thing. Even simple affairs can be overwhelming. And it's not like Sam doesn't have her plate full enough."
They were both quiet for a few moments. "Welcome to the world, little Daniela," Daniel whispered to his niece.
"It's Hebrew," she told him. Her voice sounded dreamy and sleepy. "I wanted her to have pieces of all of you; your inquisitiveness, Alex's heart, Sam's compassion. And I figured that a combination of your mental skills would hurt no one."
"She got your strength," Daniel smiled up at her.
"And I got that from my mother," she smiled back. They shared one of those odd, unspoken moments that reaffirmed their bond, the reason they first met. They were orphans, yes, but neither counted him- nor herself as an "unmothered child." Their parents' time in this life had been tragically short, but both had been loved a lifetime's worth. Claire and Melbourne Jackson and Marie McPherson lived on in the hearts and souls of their children. Ella had her mother's hair and her mother's laugh. Daniel saw his mother's eyes every time he looked in the mirror and his father was reflected in the shape of his hands and his height. Their parents had never really left them. Now, Ella and Alex had started the next generation that would carry on her mother's legacy of strength and courage.
Ella closed her eyes and rested. She was tired and sore and unbelievably happy. It had taken so long to get here. It felt like another life time since Alex had spun her around in the tiny house, so happy that they were going to have a child.
Healing from their abductions had been a slow process. Alex spent some time as a patient at the Air Force hospital, discussing his experience with mental health experts. And all the while he was healing, he was expected to talk with military officials and share everything that he could about Goa'uld technology. After his experience with the NID so many years ago,Alex was afraid not to cooperate, but he deeply feared that the Laughter would get built again. Thor had been prescient enough to destroy the weapon on his way home, but certain Air Force officials were leaning on Alex to recreate it. Though he never complained, Ella could see thatthese "interviews," with all of their veiled threats regarding both his past and his future,left Alex scared and drained. She started to fear that Alex was close to relapsing to the mental state he was in during his initial days in the SGC. Without telling anyone else, she had a private conversation with Jack O'Neill. After that, the pressure on her husband ceased. Jack even loaned them his vacation house. Alex and Ella spent a full month out there, hiding from the world, exploring each other and healing. Jack and Sam visited for a weekend and the couples cooked out and relaxed together. Daniel visited with Teal'c and Carolyn Lam. Carolyn said she was coming only to check up on her patients but Ella watched the doctor and Daniel together. Something was happening there, she just knew it.
After the drama of her first month, Ella's pregnancy passed uneventfully. She took an extended leave of absence from work to be there for Alex. She missed her job, but at least the government was taking care of them financially and medically. One less thing to worry about.
Her light doze was deepening into sleep when she was awakened by her husband's kiss. "Mmm, you shaved." She smiled sleepily at him.
"How are you feeling?" Alex asked.
"Well, I've now had at least five minutes of sleep, so I should be good for the next 18 years," she laughed back at him.
Little Daniela started to cry. "I think you are not the only one waking up, El." Daniel handed the baby back. Ella undid her robe and started to feed her daughter. They were still learning the mechanics of breast-feeding and she did not remember reading in the books that it could sometimes hurt. But she was learning.
"Congratulations, Alex. She's perfect." Daniel gave the new father a hug.
Alex could not stop smiling. "Thanks. I am glad you were able to make it. We are all going home tomorrow, but the house is a sight. We were supposed to have two more weeks to go and there is just all of this little stuff that feels undone. But, whatever, it can wait," he babbled happily.
"Exactly." Daniel liked to see these two so at peace. He couldn't think of anyone else who deserved it more.
"So, sweetie," Ella took Alex's hand. "Shall we tell him now?"
"It's my news, I want to tell him" Alex told her.
"Well then, tell him damn it. I hate keeping secrets."
"Didn't we talk about the swearing in front of the baby?"
"Yes, and I broke most of those promises as I was birthing her, so too late now. Tell him."
Daniel was perplexed by the little exchange between the new parents. "Tell me what?"
Alex turned to him. "I am coming to work for the SGC."
If Alex had suddenly sprouted a second head, Daniel could not have been more surprised. "Really?"
"Yep. I want to go back to medicine. I never wanted to leave it, but after what happened – but I'm ready now. I'll finish up my residency in the infirmary and I think my background in astrophysics will be somewhat helpful," he finished, wryly.
"This is incredible. I can't believe - " He didn't finish what he was thinking, that he was surprised Ella was letting him do this, but he could see from the look on Ella's face that she was not entirely happy about Alex's new job.
"We've talked about it, extensively." She gave a brave smile. "Alex has missed medicine for so long and I never even knew. It's what he wants to do and I want him to be happy."
"And now that we know what is out there, we want to help." Alex had eyes for no one but his wife and child.
"This is wonderful. I am just so surprised, after everything the government the government and the military has put you through, that you would ever want to work with us."
Ella snorted but Alex ignored it. "That was a consideration, but this is more important. And Sam told me that with the naquadah that was left in my blood, I could possibly be even more helpful. Of course, what I would really love to do is be trained to work with the off-world medical response teams." A small sound of protest came from his wife, and Alex sobered up. He was under strict instructions to take no jobs that would get him shot at. "But this is enough." Daniel had told them the truth about Janet Fraiser's fate. Alex and Ella had been stricken to hear that the beautiful woman who had been so friendly at their wedding had not died in a car accident but from a Goa'uld attack.
"This is wonderful. When do you start?"
"Soon. I don't have a date yet, but once everything starts settling down, General Landry told me to call him."
While the baby fed, the friends chatted happily. There was so much that Daniel knew Ella and Alex still did not know about his life. Now, Alex was throwing himself willingly into Daniel's world. A world of secrets and death; Goa'uld and Orii. It saddened Daniel, but he knew that an experience like what Alex had survived changed a man. Alex had to join the fight. Whether he was looking at the whole world, or just his wife and child, Alex saw people who needed protection. Daniel recognized Ella's sacrifice as well in letting Alex take this job. Everyone lost something in a war. But as Daniel watched the new parents, he knew that this fight was worth it.
As Alex continued to ramble on, Ella looked over at Daniel. She saw the shadows in his eyes, but she winked at him to make him smile. Daniel pushed his sadness away. At this moment there was a new baby that needed love and a ridiculous amount of spoiling. There was nothing more important than that.
The End