Chapter Two Anglias and Global Warming
(Harry's room. Vernon is on a ladder outside, putting bars on Harry's window)
Vernon: You shouldn't have urinated on Mrs Mason!
Harry: I know I shouldn't have, but you didn't let me go to the toilet.
Vernon: You have buggered up my career!
Harry: I didn't ask to be dumped here with you guys! I can't live with two obese men and an anorexic woman! It's too much for me to bear!
Vernon: You wont be able to go to school!
Harry: You don't think do you?
Vernon: What do you mean?
Harry: Well, you are locking me up in this room forever, which means that you will have a whole year, or the rest of your life, stuck with me. So if you let me go to Hogwarts, you would be rid of me for 10 months.
Vernon: I'm mean, so I can't let you be happy.
(Sound of car engine)
Vernon: Don't these bastards care about Global Warming?
(Blue Ford Anglia flies down and knocks Vernon off the ladder)
Ron: Hey, Harry!
Harry: Ron! Fred, George! What are you doing here?
Fred: The author couldn't think of anything to write until we came into the story, so she introduced us a bit earlier!
George: And we only live about 45 minutes fly away. Hop in, Harry!
Ron: I'll help you get your stuff.
(Tidying up Harry's room. Ron finds the new Playboy)
Ron: What's this? Ew! Harry, don't get stuff on the naked chicks!
Fred: Naked chicks? WHERE?
Harry: It wasn't me! This house elf thing called Bobbie came in and gave it to me, and the stain was on there. Bobbie was a girl.
George: EWWWWW! HE-SHE ELF!
Harry: Bobbie said she was stealing my mail. Anyway, better go.
(Put stuff into car, Ron and Harry get in)
Harry(shouting at Vernon): AND I WANT MY PLAYBOY BACK!