Chapter 21: That's Why I Have To Go
"I declare war!" Representative Zorel cried out as he stood on the parapet of the meeting chambers' veranda. Below him, thousands upon thousands of Separatist Yuuzhan Vong cheered at the words of their Representative, their traitor. Unknowingly, they cheered for a man with his own desires in mind, and who cared little for the destruction he was sure to wreak on his people. All they saw was the New Republic chipping away at them one planet at a time, and the Jedi unable to do anything about it, maybe even putting on a show of pretense to assure the Separatists that the Republic was with them even as they destroyed them.
"We have given them ample time to bring proof of their innocence, and what have they given us? Excuses and petitions for more time," Zorel continued, raising his hands up in a furtive gesture. "The Republic will not stop until each and every one of us is destroyed. Separatist worlds such as Bellalt, Yivos, and Ithor have been struck, and struck hard. We must do something now before all of our people are destroyed."
A cacophony rose through the chamber, thundering in sound and shook the parapet he stood upon. The rumble filled Zorel with a dark pleasure, one that came close to the ecstasy of pain. His people would do anything he said; they trusted him without question. Now all he had to do was point, and they would go in the direction he wished of them.
"There is only one thing we can do now, my brothers, my people, my friends." He paused, sighing heavily, as though a weight of great pain came to rest upon his back. He felt the crowd take in a breath, holding it as they waited for the answer to their salvation. "We must align ourselves with our lost brethren. We must join the Devotees and join the old ways."
With this, Zorel withdrew an Elom spike and sliced vertically and horizontally across his face, blood trickling down his face to pool at his sharpened chin. "Yun Yuuztar!" the former representative cried, rocketing his hand clutching the Elom spike into the air.
"Yun Yuuztar," the crowd said, repeating his gesture.
Dorsca Cherrz sat cross-legged on the floor inside his quarters in the palace of Naboo. In these moments of respite he liked to take the time to review everything he had learned under the tutelage of Anakin Solo and Ben Skywalker. The Force was still an elusive quality to him - something he could feel, but not quite yet control. He envied Ben and Anakin, who could call upon it at a whim, but knew he himself had drawn on it subconsciously even before he had known that it had truly existed.
His people. The separatist Yuuzhan Vong had declared war against the Republic, a government Cherrz had sworn his life to uphold. His people were dying; they knew no other way to retaliate than the old ways. He knew that many of the Separatists had left for places like Linnal and other Devotee-held worlds to join themselves to their lost brethren.
Cherrz felt pulled in two directions. From Ben's dreams, the Temple was in danger, but he felt compelled to go to his people and talk them out of this war they had declared. A war machinated by the Sith Lord Nefarion. Yet he wondered what he could do on either side. He was not a full Jedi Knight, hardly even a novice. He wouldn't be much use to the Jedi. Nor was he any longer Devotee or Separatist, but something different, something larger.
To be a Jedi meant you held a little piece of every being in the galaxy with you. You were their protector, and their advocate. For the first time, Cherrz realized what it cost to be a Jedi, and wondered why he hadn't seen it before. He saw it in Anakin. After fifteen years of absence from the galaxy, the young Jedi had not shirked his duty but had pressed forward, even when the galaxy around him had become strange and frightening. He saw it in Ben. A boy, who although he was confused and frightened by the destiny he foresaw, continued to aid those in need without a thought for himself.
At this juncture of his life, which fork did he take? Did he stay with those who had been his teachers, and help them rescue the Jedi, or did he go to his people in the hopes of averting a disaster?
"We are at a crossroads, Dorsca Cherrz," Ben Skywalker muttered as he stepped into the room. He was dressed in the cream-colored, loose-fitting tunic and leggings that Cherrz had first seen him in so many weeks ago. "We are very much the same, you and I. Brothers in the Force, if in no other way." Grey shot through the green-blue hue of his eyes. "I always wanted a sibling."
"It honors me that you think of me as such," Cherrz said, spinning to face Ben head on. "Perhaps my brother can help me to know what the Force would have of me."
An enigmatic smile came over the youth's features. "Such a hard thing to discern, I know. The Force brought us together, but for what purpose?" Silence followed Ben's question as the young Jedi ambled forward and dropped to the ground in front of the Yuuzhan Vong Jedi. "I was wrong to have left you and Anakin, Dorsca Cherrz, I hope you can forgive me."
Uncomfortable with the apology, Cherrz evaded Ben's gaze before answering, "You had your reasons."
"They were selfish reasons," Skywalker insisted.
"You thought you were doing what was best," Cherrz reminded him.
Ben ran a hand through his long ruddy brown hair. "I thought if I stayed I would bring the rest of you down with me. But instead of accepting your help, I ran away from it. I acted childishly, and I'm sorry that your training had to suffer for it."
"You acted as well as any one of us would have. Your father just died, Ben Skywalker. You cannot Force-heal that sort of wound," Cherrz tried to comfort him. Both Ben and Anakin had saved his life, and here Skywalker was apologizing for his behavior. "Master Horn knew I could learn much from you and your cousin."
Ben swallowed suddenly and Cherrz was reminded that Master Horn's son, Valin, had been killed in the first wave against the Yuuzhan Vong. "Valin died because of me."
Cherrz sat up straighter, resting a clawed hand on the younger Jedi's shoulder. "You cannot be blamed for that. It was Nefarion and his fleet that killed Valin, not you."
"Mentally, I know that, but in my heart I feel responsible." Ben snorted. "We were never the best of friends, Valin and I, but I did admire him. He had a strength of character that was admirable even for a Jedi. Our fathers had hoped we would be friends, but I think in some ways we were too much alike. Too stubborn, too obstinate. Just like siblings."
"The Jedi are your family," Cherrz said, simultaneously reassuring himself and Ben.
Ben studied his hands, rolling them over as if seeing them for the first time. "They are the only family I have left." Ben forced his gaze back to Cherrz. "The Falcon is packed and ready. Analsa has been given a release under Anakin's protection. Keorra and I will follow them to Coruscant. The question is, Dorsca Cherrz, in which direction will you be headed?"
"The Jedi are my family, too," Cherrz said on a puff of frustration.
Steel was in Ben's eyes as he leaned forward to grasp both of Cherrz's shoulders. "Sometimes it is necessary to risk your family for the betterment of the galaxy."
A tingling sensation ran up Cherrz's spine at the power held in those words, uttered by a boy who had not even reached his majority but understood the nature of life and death so much more profoundly than Cherrz did. He remembered that Anakin had called his cousin the 'Chosen One'. A Jedi so powerful in the Force that he held the Force in balance.
"You think I should go to my people?" Cherrz asked.
Ben nodded. "I think that is what the Force is whispering, but what I think is irrelevant. You have to feel it yourself, Dorsca, or it has little meaning to you."
"The Force is ambiguous to me," Cherrz admitted. "The harder I try, the more difficult it becomes for me to feel it."
A nostalgic smile played on the young seer's boyish features. "Then stop trying." At Cherrz's confused look, Ben continued. "If you only attempt, you've already given in to failure. My father's Master often told him, to 'do or do not, there is no try'. If you believe it will happen, it will. You must not only try for the Force, but believe that it will be there to greet you."
Tentatively, Cherrz fluttered his eyes closed after an encouraging nod forward from Ben. As Anakin and Ben had taught him, Cherrz cleared his mind of everything, envisioned the bright light of the Force that he had felt burgeoning inside of himself that day Ben and Anakin had healed him of the wounds he had sustained on Corellia. The warmth had forever been with him, a part of Anakin Solo and Ben Skywalker that could never be erased.
Just as he found that moment of emptiness, the moment of complete humility, the moment of teachability, the Force flooded into Cherrz. He almost gasped at its incredible warmth, almost shivered in the possibility of ice darkness. He veered away from that part of the Force, the part that Ben was afraid would take him one day, and followed his path along the future.
When he finished, he opened his eyes with a shudder, finding a smiling Ben Skywalker on the other side. "You stopped trying," Ben told him.
"Your father taught you that," Cherrz gasped, seeing again the wonder the Force could bring.
Ben nodded, and for the first time Cherrz saw that the memory did not pain him as much as it had before. "It is one of the many things my father taught me. Did you find what the Force would have of you, my brother?"
"I will inform Anakin and Analsa that I will be heading for Linnal," Dorsca assured him, knowing that Ben had seen the same destiny as he had.
"Analsa," Ben murmured the name, a frown marring his smooth features. "He loves her, doesn't he?"
Cherrz studied the young Jedi, wondering what it was about the girl that Ben found distasteful. "I believe he does." Cherrz furrowed his sloped forehead. "You disapprove."
Ben stood up and adjusted his tunic, running a nervous hand through his longish hair. "Analsa Vinn is not all she pretends to be. I'm not quite sure what she truly is, but I fear what will happen to Anakin once he discovers the truth."
"You have seen something, haven't you?" Cherrz accused.
Ben's mouth hardened in contemplation. "Nothing concrete, just glimmers. Specters of the future."
"You're afraid," Cherrz spoke without thinking, but spoke with feeling.
"We are at the edge of the crucible, Dorsca. The events ahead of us will define the balance of the Force. It is time for the Chosen to make their choice."
Why do I feel suddenly afraid?
Ben offered him a hand up, and Cherrz took it, Ben grasping his shoulder once again. "I wish you did not have to face what is coming alone, Cherrz, but neither me nor Anakin could help you in this."
"You are the enemy, they would only come to trust one of their own," Cherrz recited what they both knew.
"It will be difficult; the forces of darkness do not only come in the form of Force-users. They will promise you much to join them, and you will be an enemy I would not want to face if you did so." Ben smiled at him through watery eyes. "But I have faith in you."
"As I have in you," Cherrz said, reaching out to grip his new brother in a return grasp.
"I hate to say it, but we have yet to come up with a plan as to getting into the Temple," Analsa Vinn said aboard the Falcon, after Keorra and Skywalker had docked their X-wings and had tethered over through an airlock tunnel.
They were seated around the gaming table as they plotted a way to retake the Temple. It was a tentative plan at best, considering they had only the information of Ben's scant visions to go on. Basically, Keorra had heard a lot of 'the Force will guide us.'
"I have a way in," Skywalker assured her, and gave her a cocky wink.
Vinn's dark eyebrows cocked questioningly at Skywalker, and Keorra caught a glimpse into her eyes. Her Upoi Soulreader abilities kicked in almost on instinct, and she caught a maelstrom of confusion before Analsa's eyes closed and the depths of them were blocked off from Keorra. The Soulreader stiffened. She had never met someone who was so confused in their heart, and did not eventually lose themselves. Even Ben had more strength of purpose in his trial than the strange Jedi woman.
Solo interjected into the conversation. "Perhaps you could explain, Ben?"
"It's a little secret I've carried since Dad and Mom first decided that it was time to rebuild fully what had been lost," Skywalker elucidated. "When the Yuuzhan Vong terraformed Coruscant, they did not stay long enough to finish the jobs. Coruscant became honeycombed with tunnels, and when we came to Coruscant I used to explore them." Skywalker gave an embarrassed look. "Much to my parents' chagrin."
"It runs in the family," Solo replied, sharing a smile with his cousin.
"Anyway. Once we started working on the Temple, father and I decided to build over the old Temple spot, where most of the tunnels had been formed from the Yuuzhan Vong terraforming. It was meant as an escape route in case we ever needed it, but now it will get us into the one place we probably shouldn't want to be."
Keorra eyed Ben. "The old stand-by that your enemy will never expect how stupid you really are."
"I sense you object, Keorra," Skywalker said dryly, and the tension suddenly between them was palpable. Just when she thought the man was finally coming to his senses he went and did something that knocked her opinion of him down a notch.
"Do you have to rush into every situation blindly, Skywalker?" she asked heatedly.
His eyes snapped with fire. "And what would you have me do, Keorra Cereaslean? We have little time. We know that the Devotee Yuuzhan Vong have infiltrated the Temple, and that more and more of the Separatists are leaving the Republic to join their brothers in the fight. So when am I supposed to have the time to consider exactly what it is that Nefarion is attempting with this plot?"
"I would have thought that obvious," she sneered.
Ben glared at her. "Enlighten me."
"Nefarion has placed the bait, and you come like a ravenous nek battle dog," Keorra growled.
Ben pushed away from the table, knocking his chair to the ground. "Do you think I don't know that? Do you think I don't know that he is waiting for me? But my responsibility is to the Order and to my family." His smooth features hardened into determination. "I will no longer run from him."
"Nor will you confront him," Anakin countered, the weight of authority in his voice.
Skywalker shook his head. "How can I not confront him? He will search me out until I do. I will be hunted every day of my life if I turn and hide. I must choose the place of battle."
Keorra caught Vinn watching Skywalker closely. The older girl seemed pleased by his words, whereas Solo looked as though he wanted to knock sense into his cousin. "Your training should not be held off by Nefarion's wishes," Solo said, leaning his head forward so that his fingers ran through his dark, close-cropped hair. "He bested you last time, Ben. Admit it. If you are to stop him, you must continue your training."
"So you plan on keeping me from the battle?" Skywalker questioned.
Solo's head came up, and as his ice-chipped eyes met the aqua color of his cousin's, surprisingly a smile flittered on Solo's manly face. "I think we've been through this before. We both know we can't keep the other one from doing his duty. But Ben, don't give Nefarion what he wants. Don't give him his chance at you."
Skywalker pulled at the inner flesh of his cheek with his teeth, thinking. "I have to admit I do not want to face him."
"He killed your father - that is only natural," Keorra assured him, seeing that by this admission he felt as though he were admitting to some terrible weakness.
"No, that's not it. I'm afraid of what I will do when I see him. There is still so much... anger that he is gone. I haven't worked through it all." Skywalker searched Solo's eyes. "I need you to be my Master, Anakin. I need you to tell me what to do."
Keorra shot an encouraging glance at Anakin, and mentally urged him to take up the offer Skywalker was unconsciously giving. Skywalker was finally asking for the help he needed. Keorra knew that Solo would question his ability to provide, but knew, as Luke Skywalker had, that balance would be brought through these two.
Solo stood up to join his cousin. "Then let me be your Master, Ben."
"I'm no longer running," Skywalker said, splaying his arms in a welcoming gesture.
Relief glimmered in Solo's ice-chipped eyes. "Then if you will excuse us, ladies, my apprentice and I have some training to do."
Solo threw an arm around Skywalker's slighter frame and led him out of the gaming room. That left Keorra sitting across from Analsa Vinn. The Upoi Soulreader had to admit that she had not liked the girl on sight, and Ben had told her that there was more than what lay on the surface. Now, the other girl looked at her as though she was looking down at a gnat, although Keorra knew that they were of the same height.
"So, you're Ben's girl?" Vinn said dryly over the makeshift conference table.
"Friend," Keorra corrected, not willing to rise to the bait. "We are friends."
"And that's all you want to be?" Vinn asked, cocking a cultured eyebrow.
Keorra shrugged, putting on a cloak of nonchalance to mask her true feelings. "That's all Skywalker will accept at the moment." Until he faced his fears of turning Kalla, until his trial was through, he would not accept her love for him. She had looked into his soul, had seen the purity in it, despite his fears, and she could not help but feel the way she did. As much as she hated to admit it, her parents had been right when they had taught her that some things were meant to be.
It slightly frightened her that she could give so much of herself to one that was pure now, but could be tainted by the power he had inherited. She was bound to the sheathed sword of destruction, and she did not know what would happen if he ever let loose the power he held.
For a moment, Vinn lost all the trumped-up arrogance and nodded. "I know how you feel."
"I believe you do." Keorra had observed the furtive glances that Solo and Vinn had been surreptitiously exchanging, trying not to let the other on to the fact. It was the first time that Keorra could actually feel connected to the other girl, that Analsa Vinn was not so much a confused bundle of nerves, but a real person. Her love for Anakin Solo made her real.
The arrogance returned; haughtily, Vinn tipped her chin back. "You know nothing of me. It is dangerous to assume you do." Vinn slammed her palms on the table and pushed herself away from it, escaping from Keorra's searching glare.
Keorra grabbed Analsa's arm, forcing the older girl to look at her. "Skywalker is important to me," she stated harshly. "And Solo is important to him. If you do anything to jeopardize them, I swear I will hunt you down."
The older girl stiffened, and shrugged off Keorra's arm. "What makes you think I would want to hurt them?"
Those dark brown eyes held the depths of confusion in them, a maelstrom of indecision. Keorra had a hard time delving into those swirling pools, not anything like when Ben had begged her to read his soul. He had been open, willing to let her into the innermost part of his heart. Even so, Keorra was the most talented Upoi Soulreader of her time, she should be able to move through the clouds of reality into the soul of this woman, and find her true heart.
It took a series of fruitless attempts for Keorra to realize why she could not read the other woman. Analsa was not sure of her own heart - was pulled in two directions, influenced by two sides. Her soul was torn.
"You will most likely end up hurting yourself," Keorra muttered.
Analsa snorted. "And I'm allowed to do that without tempting your wrath?"
"Do you think that you have no effect on Solo? He loves you," Keorra told the obstinate woman.
"Did he tell you this?" Analsa asked the question with an edge of emotion.
Keorra smiled with the falseness of saccharine. "He doesn't need to tell me. I can see it in his eyes."
Like donning a favorite shipsuit, Analsa's features arranged themselves into that hard expression of impertinence. Funny how we wear our emotions to cover those we don't want seen, Keorra thought as she observed this girl whom she did not trust because she could not read.
"Perhaps you would like to read my soul, Upoi?" Vinn surprised Keorra, as her eyelids fluttered over her dark eyes. "Since you have taken the liberty with everyone else." And with that, Analsa Vinn spun on her heel and retired into the cabin that Keorra was to share with her.
I'm going to kill Karrde for this.