Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star, but I want to own Tim Rozon.
Chapter 15: Losing things you never had.
I sat in the hospital room quietly with my knees tucked up to my chest. My hand itched so damn much from the IV; the nurses scolded me after scratching so I could barely touch my hand without being yelled at.
I had been dreading his visit all the previous night. What was I going to do? Tell him that I wish I hadn't lost the baby? After I was going to get an abortion? I couldn't do that.
Visiting hours for the patients. I was so nervous, waiting for him. He had been here only once, but I guess he was so mad that he didn't want to stay. I can't say I blamed him. I had gone behind his back and tricked him. How could I be so stupid?
Did I have to be selfish and want to get rid of the baby? I don't even know what I was thinking. I guess that I wasn't.
I had betrayed Tommy's trust. I would be surprised if he still wanted to marry me. How could you marry someone you didn't trust? You couldn't.
After half an hour, I had been visited by my mom, my dad, Sadie, Jamie, Kat, Kwest, EJ, and Georgia. But I hadn't seen Tommy anywhere. I wouldn't blame him if he never wanted to see me, ever. He had disappeared once before, what was to say that he wouldn't do it again? I guessed that he wished that he went with Crissy, at least then he could be with someone who was a little more stable.
About five minutes before the visiting hour was up, he came. He entered the room quietly as though he was a 16-year-old sneaking in after a party. He sat down next me on the bed and looked over to me.
I was fiddling with the wedding ring in my hand. He probably wanted it back, so I gave it to him. I held it out to him and said, "I guess this belongs to you."
He took it from my fragile hand and looked it over. He shook his head. "I don't understand."
I looked at him, confused. "I betrayed you, I was going to get an abortion behind your back. I don't deserve you."
"So you don't want to get married?"
"I do. I thought you wouldn't to."
"You made a mistake, everyone does."
"Nobody is as stupid as I was!" I buried my face in the pillow on my bed.
He laid down next to me and ran his fingers through his hair. "So it was a bad decision but you didn't go through with it. You have to give yourself more credit."
"I didn't want to go through with it, I came to my senses after I lost it. Now I wish I hadn't."
"All that matters is you came to your senses."
I looked at him with sad eyes. I didn't know what to think. He was so forgiving. It was only then that I realized how much I had missed him that year he was gone.
He hugged me. "Maybe we weren't supposed to have this kid. And this just happened as a way for us not to have the child but for us not to go through with something like an abortion."
"I guess you're right."
He glanced around at the room. "A lot of flowers and balloons."
"Yeah, once the news hit the stands all my fans sent me 'get well soon' stuff. About half of this stuff is from Jamie, Kat, and Sadie though. They all go overboard."
"Well, tomorrow you're going to get three bouquets; one of balloons, one of flowers, and one of chocolate roses."
"I guess I should feel special then."
"You really should," he whispered as his lips came in contact with mine.
I rested my head in the crook of his neck. He felt so warm that the rest of my body started to shiver from the lack of heat. It seemed so right just lying there in his arms.
He pulled a blanket over me to keep me warm and he continued to run his fingers through my hair. "I love you, Jude, I always will."
I buried my face farther into the crook of his neck. "I love you too, Tommy." My hot tears started to fall against his skin.
He squirmed uncomfortably and pulled away from me. "What's wrong?"
I was such a mess. Why had he wanted to marry me? Why had he loved me? I was so confused. So I asked him. "Why do you want me?"
"What?"
"Why do you love me? Why do you want to marry me?"
"Whoa, Jude, calm down. What are you talking about?"
"Wouldn't you be happier with a girl who was a little more stable? I mean you could have any girl that you wanted. Why me?"
He smiled. "Because you are the perfect girl for me. You understand me. And that's what I really love about you."
I wrapped my arms around him and placed my head in the crook of his neck.
"This belongs to you," he said.
I looked up to face him and saw the ring in his hand.
"Here," he added, grabbing my left hand and sliding the ring on my finger.
I pushed my lips against his with all the effort I could.
AN: So cute. I would never actually have her go through with abortion since it's so wrong. Please R&R!