Read and Review! I'm dying to know what you think!

I looked over to the door, pushing Malfoy and his face away from me as I sat up on the table. Hugo looked at me with wide eyes before a smiled cleared the blank look off his face. He folded his arms and leaned in the doorway. He was trying to look cool. But could any of us gingers look cool? I jumped off the table and went to him over to the door fame. "Yes?" I asked quickly.

"Oh, don't mind me, you and Malfoy look like you have been snogging or something."

"Bite your tongue." I told him, hitting his folded arms. "I would never kiss Malfoy, never in his dreams." I knew he could hear it wasn't exactly like the door frame had a spell over it.

"Just calling them as I see them," He told me looking down to his watch. "Longbottom said if you and Malfoy want to add time to your snogging session then you can do it tomorrow."

I should have hugged him. I gave him a scowl as I followed him out the door. I knew Malfoy was behind us, I could just feel it somehow. I took the corner with Hugo quickly seeing I saw Lorcan and Lysander waiting on the stair landing. I smiled over to them, mostly happy to see Tara not in Lorcan arms. I mean, they weren't together, but they did share that moment.

I stopped in the middle of my steps, hearing the small noise come from behind me, knowing it had to be Malfoy. I felt a small smile come to my face as I took the next three steps without thinking. I put my arms around Lorcan's waist and kissed him.

I don't know why I did it, maybe because it was the only chance I knew I could get. It was my first kiss too, and doing it in front of Malfoy who had been my tormentor about it felt great. But other than that… I don't know. I pulled away to see Lorcan's eyes opened wide, as well as his mouth. I took to the steps, but found they had moved. I turned around to wait for them, seeing everyone else reactions the same. All wide eyed like I had just shot them with a stunning spell.

Malfoy nodded his head slowly, pushing through us all as the stairs came back. He went down and I was about to float my way up to the common room and party the night away, until Lorcan pulled me back into the classroom and shut the door. He stood with his back to it for a minute, looking down.

Grand.

I opened my mouth to speak but Lorcan shook his head, "I know you and Malfoy have this ongoing thing with one another, but you could have warned me with that one."

I blinked a few times shaking my head, no words coming out. "What?"

"I know you and Malfoy have a thing for each other."

"No," I shouted shaking my head. I have zero feelings for him.

"Come on Lils. It is all over your faces around each other." Lorcan said with a small laugh. I don't want to be pulled into your game with him. As much fun as you might think it would be, I want to have a go at a real relationship."

"So do I," I said rather quickly, taking another step closer to him.

"And I'm sure maybe someday you two will get there, but do it with Lysander or something."

I scratched the back of my neck, my breathing cool on my lips. "I'm not following you here." Was he saying what I thought he was saying? Did he think this was a joke? That my feelings for him were a joke? That I had spent the last how many years of my life pining over him, and he thought I was playing a game. "I'm not playing a game."

"Of course you are!" Lorcan said moving away from the door. "You have to be kidding me Lils."

I knew what I wanted to say, I knew I wanted to tell him how I felt, but he would never take it for more. I love you, I wanted to say, I wanted to tell him I had dreamed of kissing for years, that Malfoy was a bug that got under my skin, that he was my best friend, and I could be with him forever. I took another step closer to him, and put my hand on his shoulder. I could feel him underneath me. I leaned up and put my lips to his again.

Nothing.

All of those years wondering and wishing and hoping and there was nothing. I could feel him trying to respond, but it was cold and ridged, nothing like I expected it to be. I pulled away and looked at him. He pulled me into a tight hug and I returned it. "I just wanted to know how that would feel." I whispered, a lump in my throat.

"I've wondered too." He whispered petting my hair down, more than likely out of his face. "But I already knew."

"I hate Malfoy, I can't stand him," I said pulling away from his embrace. I could still feel my heart breaking, but not like it had before, not out of pain, but out of longing. I had wanted this moment with him for so long, and it was nothing what I expected. "What did it feel like when Tara kissed you? I mean, she is better at it than me." I said the words and felt the smile draw on my face. I could feel him shaking his head on top of mine.

"I don't know how to explain it, but maybe someday we can figure it out together." Together, I had always wanted to hear that come from him, and let, it wasn't the way I had wanted it, but the way I needed.

I should have been studying, but no. I was sitting next to Hugo who was trying to do a simple spell, but he kept messing it up. The biggest problem of all was now I wasn't getting the spell either. And I had my time in prison to spend with Malfoy, who sent a note to the common room earlier this morning. I was already in a classroom some other fifth years and we were all starting to feel the stress of the O.W.L.'s I picked up my wand again, feeling the rush through my hands as I attempted to turn the cup into a small pocket watch. Needless to say, I suck at Transfiguration. I looked down at the slowly ticking machine goblet before me and picked it up quickly stuffing it into my bag.

I was late.

Another thing for Malfoy to call me out on, I ran out of the room, and up the stairs. I think we both liked the small little room I had wondered into the first time I saw Lorcan kiss Tara. Don't get me wrong, I hate the fact that he likes her, but I think I hate myself more for spending so much of my time yearning over him. I ran up another flight of steps to see Malfoy running up them as well. I laughed a little to myself and picked up the pace, running right past him. I could hear him pick up so I ran harder. Once I entered the room, I tumbled to the ground, feeling my chest heave up and down. I guess Malfoy didn't get the drop to the ground memo because he tripped right over my foot and found himself right next to me breathing heavy. I took in another breath, laughter filling the air as I closed my eyes. I don't know why this seemed funny, but Malfoy let out a laugh as well, a noise I have never heard.

I sat up quickly feeling the blood rush to my head as I pulled out my wand and my homework. I attempted to get the goblet back into its original form for five minutes before giving up. Malfoy was sitting on the floor, his legs straight in front of him as he wrote. Or I thought he was writing. His quill was still in the air, I pulled my gaze up to see him shaking his head at my attempts. "What?" I said tossing the cup back into my bag; I wanted to work on something I knew I could do, just so Malfoy didn't have the chance to laugh at me. He shrugged and didn't say anything, just went back to his well, whatever he was working on. I pulled at the parchment I had started from yesterday; I saw the two words I had written before well, what I am calling my lapse of the need for a personal bubble. "Let's get these essays over with so I can get back to studying."

"Alright," He said pushing whatever he had in his hands, looked like Potions, and pulled out another parchment. I stood up at moved to sit next to him, mocking the way he was sitting. I dipped my quill in the ink and looked his way. "What is your favorite subject? Do not say flying lessons. Those end after first year," he groaned.

I shook my small laugh in my voice, "Well, I hate divination." I didn't know how to answer; I had never put much thought into it. Everyone expects me to say Defense Against the Dark Arts, because of my dad. "Charms," I said with a small nod.

"Ok," He said scribbling something else down.

"Yours?" I asked tapping my feather to my face.

"Transfiguration," He said as I scribbled it down. He didn't say anything after a while and I looked over to him. I was staring right into his grey eyes, so I pushed my hair behind my ear and looked back to my paper. "So, urm, If you weren't in Slytherin, what house would you want to be in?"

"What kind of question is that?" Malfoy asked shifting his weight next to me.

"A question that is personal," I shrugged picking up my quill.

"Ravenclaw, he told me. "I would rather be told I'm smart than be in with a ton of people who can't make up their minds."

I let out a laugh, a real laugh. "Why not be a Gryffindor?"

"Why not be a Slytherin?" He pointed back. I turned to my side to face him fully.

"I never said I wouldn't," I told him dropping my shoulders. He gave me a pointed stare, "Ok, I would rather die than be a Slytherin."

"Because of your family?"

"Because I would rather be a Gryffindor, I just, I never wanted to be in another house; James would tease Al about not getting into Gryffindor, but not me. I just knew. There are just some things I know." I stood up and moved to the window. It always seemed that he knew to ask questions I didn't know the answers to. "I always told myself to fear nothing. That is I feared something, then I wasn't good enough."

"You have to be afraid of something," I heard him say from the ground. Again with the questions I didn't know how to answer. I already faced my worst fear, but was that my worst fear? I looked back to see Malfoy siting where he was, his long legs stretched out in the small room.

"What do you want me to do Malfoy? Tell me you darkest secrets? Spill my hearts desires?"

I want to get this done," Malfoy muttered.

I looked back to him, he seemed different today, and he was leaving me alone without making small noises about the way I do things. He looked back to his paper and wrote something down. "What are you writing?" I asked taking a step toward him, towering over him for once. He didn't look up just kept writing. "Malfoy?" I asked when he didn't respond I did something I should have. I gently started to tap his leg with my foot.

He grabbed my foot and yanked me down. The sound of my butt hitting the ground made the room loud pulling me out of my train of thought. I am going to feel that for a few days. I looked up to him, my noise curled and my mouth tight as I looked up to a fuming Malfoy. "I want this over, let's get this essay done, deal with our detentions and never speak to one another again." He let my foot go as he put his quill back to paper.

"I haven't said anything," I said quietly.

"I can use my imagination," Malfoy spat out pushing himself away from me. It was strange. For the second time in twenty four hours I have gotten exactly what I wanted. I had officially cracked Malfoy into saying nothing at all. Yet, somehow in the pit of my stomach, I wasn't happy.

And I swear, I never should have done what I did next, and never will I know why.